When it comes to something as personal as your hair, it’s surprising how many people have opinions on what you should do and how you should do. For those of us with brand new short hairstyles, that dreaded conversation with your friends, family, high school crush is nothing short of a nightmare—it’s tiring to explain over and over that you’re not going crazy, you’re just trying something different, and guess what, it looks amazing.
Those of us who’ve rocked short hair for a while now are pros at fielding FAQs from the general (not-so-bright) public. Ladies (and gents, if you’re reading), here’s what NOT to say when you’re interacting with someone who has short hair, because they’re sick of hearing it and here’s what they’re really thinking while you’re talking.
1. Are You Having A Miley Cyrus Breakdown-Makeover Thing?
It used to be a Britney reference before, but Ms Cyrus has taken over the reigns as the new star teen-turned-we don’t know what. Back to the point: Just because a girl has cut off her hair, it doesn’t mean she’s having a breakdown or a personality make-over. That’s just Miley being Miley.
2. Are You Making Some Kind Of Feminist Statement? Because You Know, I Totally Support That.
Yeah, because cutting my hair is the only way to show the world I’m fighting for equality between men and women. I carry a ‘I have short hair’ protest placard in my car too.
Tip: If you can’t understand sarcasm, please ignore this point.
3. Were You Aiming For Emma Watson’s Look But Got Stuck With This?
That’s so rude that there’s no polite way for one to respond except to punch you in the face. Which would be a very un-Emma Watson-like thing to do, BTW.
4. Oh, So You’re Finally Telling Everyone You’re Gay?
The mother of all stereotypes. Lesbians = short hair. If Ellen Degeneres is your silly defense, then have you looked at Portia de Rossi, her wife?
5. Are You Sure You Like It?
Of course! I didn’t spend a couple of grand on this just so you could make me feel bad about it. I don’t just like it. I love it! So deal with it.
6. You Must Be Saving A Bomb On Salon Visits.
Because short hair requires no maintenance according to you?! FYI: Shorter hair = more skill required to style it. Just ask your hairdresser. I use shampoo, conditioner and other styling products just like any other girl with great hair game.
7. You Are So Brave. I’d Never Be Able To Do That To Myself.
I can’t tell if you’re being genuine or was that a backhanded compliment. So please stop confusing with me with your passive-aggressive remarks.
8. Do Aunties At Weddings Ever Mistake You For Your Brother?
Seriously?! Every once in a while you’ll come across the group joker who doesn’t know how to deal with awkward silences, and this is the best she/he will come up with. Let me pay for you to attend a comedy school and save us all the obnoxiousness.
9. But Your Long Hair Was Just So Much Prettier.
And what, do I look like an evil pixie now?
10. Don’t You Ever Get Bored Because Of The Lack Of Hairstyle Options?
No, I don’t. Because
a. I have no interest in trying out new hairstyles every day,
b. I have better things to do, like kick ass at my job,
c. I like low-maintenance hair that behaves and does what I want it to. Kapisch?
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