If there’s one thing that can kill a relationship, it’s jealousy. Trust is an important component of any healthy relationship and should be fostered from the get-go. It is also important to remember that insecurity breeds jealousy in relationships, so you need to make sure you feel content with yourself. Even if you disregard the damaging impact of jealousy on a relationship, it can ruin your own life too. After all, it begins a vicious cycle of anger, depression, and chaos.
Self-awareness is the key to being content. This feeling can point out your insecurities and your jealousy. It can get really tiring dealing with all the drama that usually follows envy. If you’ve just about had enough of it, we’re here to help! Here are seven ways on how to overcome jealousy in a relationship.
1. Notice Your Body’s Reactions
It’s natural for men to let their gaze wander. But what impact does it have on you? What do you feel when your partner looks at another woman? How does your body react? Is it a case of tension followed by a fast pulse? Do you notice other symptoms? It’s best to note down your reactions somewhere and refer to it from time to time. This way, you will be familiar with signs you have to look out for that indicate you’re about to blow your top. It’s the perfect way to being able to stop yourself from doing something that you can never take back.
2. The Rubber Band Trick
The brain functions in a very special way. When it comes to signals it receives from the rest of the body, it focuses on the most significant one and blocks out all the others temporarily. That is why some people suffering from depression cut themselves. It’s in order to abate their emotional pain – only the pain from the injuries are paid attention to until it subsides.
Having said that, one must point out that this isn’t a particularly healthy way to deal with things, but there is a way that this fact can be exploited. Get a rubber band and wear it around your wrist. When you notice your body reacting to a stimulus in the form of a jealous rage, snap the rubber band on your wrist. The signal sent to your brain will snap you out of envy and prevent you from acting out. But do remember that the objective is to distract yourself, and not to injure yourself or cause yourself pain.
3. Be Realistic With Your Internal Dialogue
Some say it’s perhaps the human tendency to over-exaggerate the negative implications of something that’s happened. A mere glance at a passing woman could lead your insecurities to flare up, making you consider that your partner may prefer her instead of you. However, you have to be realistic. Not every passing woman is someone that your partner wants to abandon you for. Try thinking that it was just a glance and leave it at that. Don’t attach too much significance to something that isn’t really important and by following this you will have had a better method of how to stop being jealous in a relationship!
4. Get A Reality Check
Whenever you feel jealous, examine your feelings a little deeper. Is he really after someone else? Or are you projecting the flaws of your previous partners on to your current one? Was there any concrete indication that forms a basis for your jealousy?
It’s important to ask yourself these questions. If you find yourself lost for answers, consider talking to a therapist to work through your unresolved issues regarding jealousy in relationships.
5. Write It Down
If you’re in a situation where your insecurities are acting up, reach for a journal and pen them down. Writing out your feelings can be extremely cathartic. Write until you feel you’ve vented your feelings and there is a marked improvement in your mood. This avoids a lot of unnecessary situations created by impulse. You definitely do not want the drama that usually entails such circumstances.
6. Don’t Reveal Your Insecurities
Whoever said that they love to be nagged? It starts in childhood with your parents, and you surely do not want it to continue in your adult life. And the same can be said of your partner. Men do not find being constantly questioned a turn-on.
This isn’t to say that you shouldn’t communicate with your partner. There is a big difference between saying, “Where were you? Who were you with?” and “I missed you today, I wish you were with me.” Chances are that you have nothing to worry about and your partner will answer your unspoken questions anyway. There’s just a way to go about when it comes to dealing with jealousy in a relationship.
7. Plan Ahead
It’s easy to know how to react when you have it all mapped out in your head. It’s just a matter of following a plan. If you recognize that you’re prone to jealousy and see that the tantrums that might follow are detrimental to your relationship, you will be able to take proactive steps to ensure a long-lasting, happy relationship. It isn’t intrinsically bad to feel what you do, but how you react to your feelings makes the difference between a wonderful partner and someone who’s just out for themselves.
Working on a relationship is hard work and overcoming jealousy in relationships is even harder. Sometimes your partner can be enamored by your jealousy – after all, it is an indication of how much you care for them. In fact, some partners can get put-off and think you don’t care about them as much as they thought you did if you don’t show a little envy from time to time. The important thing to remember is to strike a balance between showing them that you care and you feel a little possessive (in a loving way), and throwing a tantrum and causing a lot of drama.
Don’t resort to overstepping boundaries, such as checking their phone or email – your partner needs his space. After all, you have to acknowledge that they have a life outside of the relationship. At the same time, show them how much you care, and they will feel a sense of belonging when it comes to the relationship. Follow and implement these tips and with time you will have known how to deal with jealousy in a relationship.
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