OK, listen up all you fellow long haired ladies out there. For years, we have struggled under the literal and figurative weight of our curls and sacrificed many a hair band to the bush of hair that rests atop our head. And for years, we have watched all those shampoo and hair oil ads that showcase girls with the straightest of hair and refer to them as ‘gorgeous.’ While my fight against Eurocentric beauty standards is impassioned and strong, it will have to wait for another day. For today, let’s discuss all the struggles we face due to our crazy curly hair every. Single. Day.
- Oh, the number of combs and brushes you’ve broken: How many times have you tugged on your knotted curly hair and come away with only half your comb in your hand? The answer: too many. I don’t know if you know this, but if you don’t detangle your hair the moment you step out of the shower, you might as well forget about it until you wash it next. Because it hurts when you try to detangle it when it’s dry AND when that comb/brush breaks in your hair. So a moment of silence for all our fallen martyrs, who laid down their lives in the service of our hair.
- So. Much. Oil.: If you grew up in an Indian household, chances are your mother bathed your hair with coconut oil every chance she got. But, here’s the thing—curly hair practically absorbs oil like a sponge. So you end up buying a new bottle every month which could be, you know, heavy on the pocket. Especially if you choose to buy fancy stuff like almond or amla oil.
- Those Damn Hairstyle Tutorials: Yes, those damn hairstyle tutorials. They always start out with beautifully smooth and straight hair. Well, listen up lady in the video: I ain’t got hair like yours. And if I tried braiding my hair in so many ways, all I would end up with is a nest on my head. Second, it would take forever to do my hair in one of those intricate hairstyles, and it would still never look as neat as hers and also my arms would hurt from being up so long.
@me whenever I watch a hairstyle tutorial
- Straightening your hair takes an eternity: Good lord, don’t even get me started on this. I need to mentally prepare myself for at least a week before I straighten my hair because it takes at least an hour and terrible hand cramps. And, pretty sure you run a risk of developing Carpal Tunnel Syndrome if you straighten your hair too often. ALSO, straightening your hair is essentially frying your hair with all the heat. Like, you might as well be doing this:
Which is such a waste because your hair starts becoming wavy WITHIN A FEW HOURS.
- Looking at pictures of women with defined curls is painful: You know what I’m talking about. Whenever you see Kangana Ranaut (Queen) or Annalynne McCord (90210) or Yara Shahidi (Black-ish), you’re filled with envy and a grave sense of injustice. “Why can’t my curls do that?!”, you scream as you look up to the skies. All I’ve got to say to that: Same, girl. Same.
- Leaving your hair open on a hot day is out of the question: You know what would happen if you left your hair down when it’s hot? Your neck will melt off, and you’ll die. OK, I know I’m exaggerating, but it really does feel like that! It feels like my curls are poking my neck with tiny little pitchforks and cackling evilly at my misery. Which leads me to…
- Buns are your best friend: Buns are easy to do, and it takes about 15 seconds to throw your hair up in one. So what if they don’t always look cute? At least, your hair is out of your face and neck. *cries internally*
- Frizz: Need I say more? No matter how much serum or leave-in conditioner you slather on, your frizz will return to all its pesky glory within a few hours. And as someone who has struggled with (and reluctantly accepted) frizz her entire life, this is pretty much what plays out in my room every morning:
- Sleeping with your hair open is just not happening: If you slept with your curly hair open, it would probably suffocate you because I honestly believe at this point that my hair has a mind of its own. Also, let’s not even talk about brushing out your knots after spending a night like that. So whenever I see someone sleeping with their hair open, this is what my face looks like:
- Your hair is a black hole for Bobby pins: Taming down your hair calls for a stupid amount of Bobby pins which are never to be seen again because your curly hair is basically a void. So buying a 100-pack of bobby pins is useless because you’ll run out of them within a month.
Despite all these trials and tribulations that we face with our curly hair, we still love it because it makes us stand out in the crowd. And because every head of curly hair has a personality of its own, it will lend you oodles of individuality. So embrace your unique and gorgeous curly hair and celebrate it like this lady: