Why Can’t We Stop Shopping?
Well it is obvious form the previous read that shopping stops being a necessity or social lubricant and turns into an addiction for many. Some run from the troubles of reality to the open arms of retail therapy for a momentary high (about 35%) while some do it because they need something to make them look good(about 28%) and while some do it just as a way to keep themselves occupied (about 20%). It’s astonishing isn’t it the reasons that we shop for are reasons that are simply in no way solvable by a crazy shopping spree!
We read and we were astonished yes! We now realize that a number of women abroad who are in debt, is mostly because of credit card and they struggle to get out of it simply because they just can’t stop spending so very many dollars (or whatever currency) on makeup no matter their financial situation is!
Have we considered the fact that this could be happening in India too? Well not exactly credit card debt but over spending and lack of control. But this piece is not about the statistics, it is about the possible reasons and psychology that might be leading women down this self-destructive path where even being conscious about the problem does not make them stop.
But why do we get to this state of mind?
Even before we begin, we just want to establish a ground point that in no way the intention behind this piece is to insult the religious or cultural and social believes of any individual. This is just a narration of psychological findings and social environment observations.
Most women in India these days are sandwiched with two different worlds. This is fact that we will agree with right? Especially if you are working. So let’s talk about these working women, who have taken that bold step out of their homes to make a name and career for themselves. Have we stopped for one second to think about what their days are like?
So a typical married working women, wakes up really early to take care the her daily duties of feeding the family, getting the kids to school on time (if she has kids) and then getting to work. Here of course she spends all day dealing with the pressures of the corporate world, no break what so ever. Then she heads back home. Now if you’re a man, you get to chill but you’re not so you run back home and deal with kids homework, dinner and prepare for tomorrow. After all this, you get to sleep only to wake up early again the next day and this goes on all week. But we women love this don’t we, as along as someone every once in a while tells us how much they love us and appreciate all that we set aside for them. What happens when nobody notices?
But what if you’re an independent single successful women living by yourself? You would think it would be easier right? You are living alone. How hard can it be? Then think about this…..wont anybody be lonely if they had to spend every evening by themselves at home? Doesn’t everyone need someone to call theirs? And is it fair that just because they were successful and set away from the defined role, they should be treated any different? Why do they become less desirable to men and the man’s families? And have you wondered what it feels like when their own success that makes them miserable in the end?
If you’re thinking being a child is so much easier, then yes if you’re a male child then yes your right. A girl child faces so many more issues. It has been seen over many many generations that in most families the male child holds more importance than a female child. Yes, it is the way of our society is and our scriptures condone it. Female infanticide is quite a blatant scream in our faces of the reality that most of us want to ignore. It still happens. In the cities, not to that extreme but we can always tell the difference being shown in that little extra pocket money or allowing a little more of mistakes. But have we considered how that poor girl child must feel at that young feeling less loved and cared for by the two people who brought her to this world? We think it gets better as we grow; the truth is that it only gets worse. The freedom reduces and restrictions increase. Most women most of the time never get to be who they wanted to be or do what they want to do? They sacrifice and sacrifice only for it go unnoticed and unappreciated. Have we wondered what that must feel like?
It’s not just the working women and students who suffer. What about those of them who marry early for the sake of their families and then spend the rest of their lives wondering what if it had been different? They see the women who went after that job they wanted, travelled, had fun and they think to themselves, we never did any of that and now we have a family that doesn’t even appreciate us? What of them?
Do you see these where all these situations lead to? Is it not reasonable that such situations would depress anyone and of course as human we all seek comfort? So if we don’t get it from the people around, is it a surprise that we run towards the inanimate objects that will never reject us? We don’t say that all women are unhappy. We only say isn’t it possible that these few situations mentioned above could be one of the many reasons why some women need to shop compulsively?