How To Write An Apology Letter To Your Girlfriend – Tips

Go old-school and pen your remorse and feelings in a heart-rending note to your BFF.

Reviewed by Hemali AdhiyaHemali Adhiya, ICF Certified Relationship Coach
By Harini NatarajanHarini Natarajan, Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner  • 

Writing an apology letter to your girlfriend can be quite distressing and confusing when you don’t know what might fire them up further. Women aren’t known for apologizing or backing down. On the other hand, they are emotional beings who let their heart guide their behavior. It is good news and bad news, both. You must, however, take the initial step if your friend is essential to you.

You may spend hours thinking and gazing at a blank screen, unsure of where or how to begin. Then again, expressing your feelings is difficult, particularly after a fight. It is never easy to apologize to someone you love since there is so much at risk. You might worry or go into panic mode, and you won’t be able to think clearly. These factors exacerbate the difficulty of sending a heartfelt apology letter to your BFF.

Whether you were a jerk, were caught in lies, hurt her, talked behind her back, or didn’t trust when you should have, you must accept the blame for your part in the disagreement. Sorrow and remorse can take on a whole new meaning in friendship. But don’t fret. We have got some tricks up our sleeves to help you convey your feelings more effectively. Take a cue from these sample letters and know how to apologize to your girlfriend effectively. Keep scrolling.

How To Apologize To Your Girlfriend

Image: Shutterstock

  • Start the letter by acknowledging that you hurt her and validating her feelings.
  • Be genuine. Let her know how much she means to you.
  • Say you are sorry and how much you want to fix things. Mention the event for which you are apologizing, but do not go into too many details.
  • Take responsibility for your faults and ask her for forgiveness.
  • Promise her that it will never happen again.
  • End on a positive note.

Image: Shutterstock

protip_icon Quick Tip
Give her the letter in a romantic fashion, such as by putting it in a lovely bouquet or having one of her closest friends deliver it directly.

Sample Apology Letter To Girlfriend For Hurting Her

Dear [her name],

I am so sorry for what happened last (Friday night) at the (party). I was completely insane for doing the things I did and saying the things I said. I don’t know what the hell was wrong with me.
I know you must be feeling very angry and hurt at the things that I said and did, and I understand if you don’t feel like speaking to me right now. If I was in your place, I probably wouldn’t either. I am such an ass.

However, please know that I miss you terribly. I miss having my confidant and best friend by my side to share my thoughts and feelings. I don’t know if you miss me, but I miss you so much. I just can’t deal with life without you.

That thing on (Friday) happened because I was (drunk/stressed), and I let it get to me. I am very sorry. Please forgive me for being an idiot. You know how stupid I can be sometimes. But hurting you, my best friend, is one of the worst things I have done, and I just can’t live with myself if you don’t forgive me.

You can scream at me if you like, but please talk to me. I love you so much.


[Your name]

Apology letter to your girlfriend after a fight

Image: Shutterstock

Sample Apology Letter To Girlfriend After A Fight

Girl writing an apology letter to her friend after a fight

Image: Shutterstock

Dear best friend who I hurt so terribly and miss so badly – I am so sorry. I know I made it seem like it was all your fault, but it wasn’t. I was lying to both you and myself, and it was easier to blame you for everything than to realize my contribution to the problem. I really can’t believe I did that. After the fight, everything just fell apart. I know I am probably the last person you want to hear from right now. But [her name], please hear me out.

I don’t know where to begin, so I will start with this – I am really sad that our friendship is over. It has made me completely miserable for the last couple of months. You mean so much to me. I am really struggling without you now. We were the best of friends and you mean the world to me, more than you will ever know. Every time we fought, we grew a little apart. We are not even talking anymore, let alone be friends.

I hate fighting with you. The mistake I made ruined our friendship, and I really have no idea how to make things right again. Knowing that I did this to you and our beautiful friendship kills me. I don’t know what I was thinking, I am such an idiot. I hate myself for doing this.

Our friendship is too beautiful to end over this. To find another friend like you is impossible. You are so caring, funny, and patient, and I never appreciated you enough. I didn’t mean for things to end like this. I so wish I could take everything back to how things were, but I know I can’t. However, I can prove it to you that this will never happen ever again. I’m still the friend you trusted and thought of as your bestie.

I keep apologizing because I am completely in the wrong. I have been inconsiderate towards you, I wasn’t the ideal friend that I should have been. But, I DON’T want to lose you! I think you are worth fighting for. You always made me feel amazing, and you are one of the very few people who could do that.

I am really heartbroken, I don’t want my mistake to ruin the wonderful friendship we had. It would mean the world to me if you gave me a second chance. I know you have trust issues, and I have made it even harder now for you to trust me. I know it will take time for you to forgive me, but I am ready to wait. Many people have walked in and out of my life, but you are one of the few I actually care about and really want to stay.

No matter what I do, you are constantly on my mind. I really miss you so much, and I truly don’t want to lose you. I don’t think this fight is worth ending our loving friendship over, and I hope you think so as well. I made a really horrid mistake, and I regret it.

I know I have been a horrible friend for the last few months, but you did say I was a good friend before. Can’t we just try and go back to that?

Trust me, this wasn’t easy for me, but I did this because I hope this letter shows you how much you mean to me, just how I feel, and how sorry I truly am. Whatever you decide to do, I will always treasure the good times we had and our friendship. We went through a lot of stuff together, and you are one of the few people my soul trusts. You are very important to me, and I can go through hell for you. I just want you to know that.

Please accept my apology. I hope you can forgive me. I can’t help but believe that everything will turn out okay. I find it hard to imagine my life without you in it, and I will always be there for you if you need me. Please call or text me if you decide to give me a chance.

Thank you for being my best friend.

Wishing you the best and waiting for your response,

[Your name]

Image: Shutterstock

Sample Apology Letter To Girlfriend For Lying

Dear [her name]

I am truly sorry for lying to the best person in my life – you. I was deep into the lie I had created and didn’t know how to pull myself out and come clean with you. I am so sorry for being such a hard head and behaving in a manner that is beneath me.

I was so darn tired of the constant fight I was having with myself. I was always seeking something else, something new, something better. The lying grew to the point that even I didn’t know what the truth was anymore. I didn’t want to be judged for being the real me. Everyone makes mistakes, some more detestable than others, and I truly think I fall into the latter category.

I always felt that there was something missing. I felt that I was missing someone who truly understands me because I was not able to understand myself. It looks like I needed someone to show me how to deal with my insecurities and hold my head up high.

The lies did work for a while. They helped me delude myself into believing I was doing okay, even great. I started believing the lies I was telling about myself. I truly felt that I was the person I was pretending to be – and that was the biggest lie of them all. When I truly understood that, I hit rock bottom.

I am grateful for the experience because I am now capable of seeing things more clearly. I have learned to live with truth, kindness, and compassion.

I have also learned that the first person I need to forgive is myself. I need to accept my faults, try as best as I possibly can to work on them, and forgive myself when I fail. I need to never give up on myself and keep trying to be a better person. Once I accept who I am, I will no longer need to lie. This simple truth eluded me for so many years. But once I saw the big picture, it all became crystal clear.

It wasn’t that I needed something or someone else to make myself feel better or whole that resulted in all that lying. I had the power within me all along. That power was to treat myself with respect and show the same caring and compassion to myself that I often showed others.

It is a new day now. My days of lying and apologize when getting caught are now over. It was obviously a vicious circle of lies and apologies that I thought I could never break. However, I have made amendments with those who I have deceived along the way.

So, here I am today, wondering how to apologize for lying to the one person who trusted me so blindly, the one person I probably hurt most. I am not perfect yet – but I am learning to be better. For now, I would like to offer my heartfelt apology to you.

Please accept my apology as a gesture towards making things right between us again.

I want you to know that I am really sorry for all the lies I told you. My constant lying was not about you or any of my other relationships. It was a result of the issues I have with myself. I take full responsibility for my behavior, the lies, and not seeking help.

Although the majority of my lies were about myself, there were some that were about others. What was common between all the lies was that they were created to make me feel better about my pathetic self. I didn’t care who got hurt as long as it wasn’t me. It makes me loathe the selfishness and lack of empathy I displayed towards people who had done me no wrong. I can understand why everyone cut me off from their lives when my world of lies came crashing down. I truly regret the pain and hurt I caused my other friends and you.

I will never presume to understand how you must have felt by my betrayal. But after losing you and my friends, I realized some hard truths about life and why I needed to re-evaluate my way of living life. It may be hard to understand, but deep down, I never meant to hurt you. It was all a dangerous life of fun and games I was living. If someone did to me what I did to you, I would hate that person. But you are better than me, and always were. That’s why I still have hope that I can win you back in my life. Yes, win. Because you are no less than a prize, girlfriend. If there is any possible way that I can make it up to you, please reach out to me. Call or text, whatever you want. If you don’t want to, I completely understand.

Wishing you all the best in life and lots of love to you and the gang,

[Your name]

protip_icon Quick Tip
You can ask if she would want to meet up for lunch or at least have a conversation. Include the fact that you’ll give her time if she asks for it. Respect her preferences.

Apology letters are written to express regret. Simply put, these letters are a way to pen down in words how you are feeling about a bad deed as well as trying to redeem it. A good apology letter can repair your relationship and strengthen your bond. Apology letters should be sent immediately after the mistake has occurred to show that you value your relationship with your girlfriend.

Infographic: Key Pointers For Writing An Apology Letter To Your Girlfriend

Writing an apology letter can be difficult, emotional, and confusing. You can start by making it personal and expressing your apology in a manner that your girlfriend deserves. In case you need a quick refresher, refer to our infographic below that highlights some helpful key pointers.

keypointersforwritinganapologylettertoyourgirlfriend (infographic)

Illustration: StyleCraze Design Team

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Download Infographic in PDF version

Apologizing is never a strong trait with most people, and we struggle to find sincere words that convey our remorse. We worry about triggering the other person’s anger by mistakenly striking a nerve or are just too humiliated to face them. In any case, writing an apology letter can be the best way to gather your thoughts, revise and organize them, and finally draft an apology that might make people feel at ease. If it is your girlfriend you have offended, this approach makes much more sense, as women are perceived as emotional beings who can be easily triggered. So, refer to the above tips and samples as you write an apology letter to your girlfriend and hope for the best!

Frequently Asked Questions

How long should an apology letter to my girlfriend be?

It depends on the situation and level of explanation that is needed to express the apology, but it is best to keep it concise, just enough to convey your remorse and address the specific issue but not a very long-winded and repetitive one.

What tone should I use in an apology letter to my girlfriend?

The letter’s tone should be respectful, humble and honest, accepting the mistake and expressing remorse for it. It should not involve blame shifting or making excuses for the mistake; instead, be sincere, ask for forgiveness and offer a solution to resolve the issue.

Can an apology letter to my girlfriend be enough to fix our relationship?

An apology letter could be a good start in the direction of repairing the relationship, but it is not enough. It can help start the conversation about the issue, but it should be followed up with efforts and willingness to work out the issue and repair the relationship by rebuilding trust.

When is the best time to send an apology letter to my girlfriend?

It is best to send the letter as soon as possible after the issue, and when you are ready to take responsibility for the situation and offer a solution. Timing is important; the longer you wait, the harder it will be to repair the relationship and regain trust.

Key Takeaways

  • Writing an apology letter to your girlfriend can be distressing, but it is the perfect way to express your feelings more effectively.
  • The first point to keep in mind when writing an apology letter is to accept the fact that you hurt her feelings and validate them.
  • Be genuine and take responsibility for your mistakes before you say how sorry you are.
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