Figuring out how to get out of a bad relationship can be just as daunting as actually doing it. If you are currently in a toxic relationship, we can help.
Love is one of the most widely discussed themes all over the world. The Indian film industry churns out more than 1500 films a year, all of which stereotypically contain at least a subplot of love (1). From romance to heartache, music is replete with love lyrics as well. It is widely believed that there is someone out there for everyone and that when you find that person, you would know straight away if they are the one for you. So it’s no surprise that we like to enter new relationships with a strong desire to stay together. But, there are instances when it is wiser to quit.
In this article, we explain 9 types of relationships that one should avoid or get out of at all costs. Keep scrolling to learn how to get out of those bad relationships.
1. When It’s All About The Money
There’s a specific term for people who get into relationships only for the money – gold diggers. The media tends to generalize and make it seem like it’s only the women who engage in seeking out a partner for his fortune, but it definitely can work both ways. In the beginning, it can just be about giving or getting presents. Who doesn’t like to be gifted? It shows appreciation.
However, when there is nothing deeper than the money in the relationship, then it’s time to call it quits. Whether you’re the one giving or receiving the moolah, it’s time to walk out the door.
It can also be about sharing finances. If you’re the one who stays at home while your partner works, there is a chance that they don’t value your contribution to the relationship. Being the breadwinner isn’t everything. Being a house-spouse and making a home is equally important, and you should be appreciated. Take a cue from Americans who cite money most commonly as the cause of the dissolution of the marriage (2).
2. When Your Opinions Aren’t Valued
It can be extremely frustrating to be in an unhappy relationship where you are completely ignored – your partner makes all the decisions, from which movie you’ll be watching to what you’re going to eat for dinner. However, a loving relationship involves taking turns and valuing what the other person thinks. If this is not the case, hit the road.
3. When They’re Cheating
It’s understandable – you’ve found someone that you are really happy with. You don’t want to lose that because they made a mistake just once. But, come on! A relationship is about trust and commitment. If they’re getting their grind on with someone on the side, they aren’t really fully committed to the relationship. If they cheat once, they’re likely to cheat again (3). Find someone who is more deserving of you.
4. When They’re Always Suspicious
Again, this comes down to a matter of trust. The yearning to form a mutually protective union is inherent, according to psychoanalyst John Bowlby (4). If they’re constantly suspicious of you – they don’t trust you. If they ask you for your phone or a look at your email, they’re clearly suspicious. Sure, they might say, “Why can’t you show me if you’ve got nothing to hide?” However, this is a poor argument. Don’t fall for it. Fall for someone else instead.
5. When They Don’t Know The Meaning Of ‘No’
If you don’t want something, if you aren’t comfortable with it, then that’s the end of that. You don’t have to do anything that you don’t opt in for. They have to respect your decision. And yes, marital rape is a thing. Leave if you feel you’ve been forced into something – whether it’s physical, emotional, or otherwise (5).
6. When They’re Violent
Nobody has power over you. You don’t have to feel controlled. There is a life outside an abusive relationship. Victims of domestic violence tend to blame themselves, listening to the justification of the beater. However, nobody deserves violence. Studies show that one in four heterosexual women suffer from physical abuse, and they are likely to put up with it because of their upbringing (6). If you’re beaten, first call a cab then the police.
7. When You’re Made To Feel Worthless
This can be just as harmful as physical abuse. They don’t hit you, but they berate you – constantly. Soon, you see yourself through the same eyes – as a worthless piece of trash. But this isn’t the case. You are a beautiful creature of nature, and deserve someone who not only appreciates but celebrates you. Give no value to someone who makes you feel worthless.
8. When It Has To Be A Secret
First of all, ask yourself, why does it have to be a secret? Do they have a spouse and a set of kids on the other side of town? Are they ashamed of you? A secret relationship can lead to nowhere good (7). If they aren’t ready to reveal your relationship to other people, then you should probably find someone better.
9. When You’ve Only Bad Things To Say About It
If you’re complaining all the time, find yourself crying over the state of your unhappy relationship, trying to put the pieces of your relationship back together, then what is really the point? Why would you suffer through all that? Nobody is forcing you to stay in bad relationships. A relationship is supposed to bring you peace, love, and happiness. If this isn’t the case, it’s quite alright to find someone else or even remain single. Not having a relationship is better than being in bad relationships.
It is widely believed that there is only one person for everyone. Thus, when we get into a relationship, we have a strong desire to stick together no matter what. However, if you are in a bad relationship, it is better to end it as soon as possible. There are several bad relationships out there, and it is important to recognize the signs you are in one. For example, if you are in a relationship where your opinions are not heard, boundaries are not respected, or your partner is abusive, it is time to leave for good. Take your time to heal and be with someone who will love and appreciate you.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do you get the strength to leave a bad relationship?
While leaving a bad relationship is not easy, just know that you already have the strength and courage in you. Stop talking to your partner and lean on your loved ones for support. Consult a therapist to help you start your healing journey.
When is it time to let go of a relationship?
If your partner does not bring you joy and they are always critical and disrespectful towards you, it is time to talk to your partner and say goodbye.
What to say to end a relationship?
Meet your partner face to face. Be honest and gently tell them the reason why you want to end the relationship. While the breakup will not be easy for both partners, the way you communicate your feelings can lessen the sting a little.
Can walking away save a relationship?
No, if you are walking away from a relationship that is toxic and makes you unhappy, walking away will not save the relationship. However, it will help you love yourself and start healing.
What is stonewalling in a relationship?
Stonewalling is described as avoiding a conversation with a person. It may be seen as a coping mechanism to avoid conflict or control a person.