11 Signs Of A Boring Relationship And How To Make It Exciting

Keep an eye out for these signs and pep your relationship up in no time.

Reviewed by Rodolfo Parlati, Professional Life Coach Rodolfo Parlati Rodolfo ParlatiProfessional Life Coach facebook_iconlinkedin_iconyoutube_iconinsta_icon
Written by , Integrated MA, Certified Relationship Coach Sneha Tete Integrated MA, Certified Relationship Coach linkedin_icon Experience: 4 years
Edited by , MA (English) Subhrojyoti Mukherjee MA (English) Experience: 4 years
Fact-checked by , Integrated MA (English) Gazala Firdos Ansari Integrated MA (English) Experience: 2 years

A relationship never stays as exciting as it was initially (at least in most cases). Things can get monotonous and unfulfilling, and the excitement tends to taper off as the days pass, leading to a boring relationship. But that does not mean that your love towards your partner has dipped. It is just that the relationship has become quite stable, and you need to put in an extra effort to keep the spark alive. This article discusses the signs of a dull and boring relationship and how to make it more exciting and lively. Keep reading.

What Is A Boring Relationship?

Image: IStock

A relationship can get boring when couples start putting fewer effort to enjoy each other’s company and common interests. Experiencing relationship boredom can make you question your compatibility as a couple and potential for a long-term connection.

Boredom sets into a relationship when the couples go to either extreme – do everything together or don’t give each other enough time. It turns out to be a relationship that you neither want to leave nor understand how to save. You may feel dissatisfied, but you are also clueless about how to talk about it to your partner. You are just stuck with the awkwardness soon settling in or the lack of becoming aware of each other’s presence in the same room. Here are a few prominent reasons for a lackluster relationship – .

  • You have left the relationship to go with the flow. Nothing is extraordinary anymore because the two of you are either busy or lazy to incorporate the pizzazz.
  • You try to stay on the safe path that people usually take to strengthen their relationship. There’s no space for risk or surprises because you are playing it safe.
  • You fall into a routine and avoid spontaneity for predictability, which can make circumstances feel monotonous and lead both of you to lowering your expectations from the relationship and each other.
  • Physical intimacy, small touches, stolen kisses, and catching each other’s gaze are minute instances that rekindle a relationship’s spark. Without these gestures of love, the relationship ends up as a situationship.
  • No shared interest makes you spend time away from each other, and the relationship feels like it is slipping away.
  • A lack of communication can also create a sense of disengagement, wherein you stop looking to the relationship or your partner for intellectual or physical stimulation.
  • You take each other for granted; over time, gestures or efforts that were previously exhilarating may diminish, making the relationship something not exciting enough.
  • You feel too exhausted to take charge. External stressors such as workplace, money, or family issues can take up time and energy, which reduces the amount of enthusiasm for the relationship.

protip_icon Quick Tip
According to research, these initial, intense stages of love (infatuation) and compassionate love (attachment) start to fade over time (1).

Now that you know why a relationship fades into boredom, be prepared to face some harsh truths. The next section explains the signs that confirm you may be having a boring relationship. Scroll down.

11 Signs Of A Boring Relationship

Signs of a boring relationship
Image: IStock
  1. Arguments are a way to show that you are still invested in the relationship and want to make it work. However, when there are no arguments, you are either ignoring the problems or avoiding creating any tension.
  2. Conversations that allow you to explore your interests and understand each other to the level of not needing to speak for what you want to express are missing. Therefore, the connection that bridges a relationship is also missing.
  3. You might be talking, but how much of it is actually heard? How much of the conversations are merely surface talks, and how often do you indulge in deep conversations that bring you both closer? You and your partner are not really present in the discussion and less attentive and curious about what the other party is speaking.
  4. Boredom in relationships may feel like there’s nothing left to discover about your partner. You have spent every moment together and adapted to each other’s hobbies and interests, which suddenly makes it boring too soon.
  5. There’s another extreme where you don’t do anything together. You may have so much to do on your own that you don’t have time for the other person. This increases the chances of a relationship becoming boring because you don’t have time for each other or the relationship to stay afloat.
  6. Couples go on dates, spend time together, and try to get to know each other better. The problem arises when you have a hard time sharing common activities that can enrich the relationship. Or you keep going to the same place, ordering the same food, doing the same things over and over. Do you see the routine that has formed? For a relationship to stay fresh, you need to experience new things together, and not repeatedly conform to the same, old things.
  7. There’s no harm in flirting and seducing each other even after you have been in the relationship for a considerable time. In fact, it is a sure-shot way to keep the spark alive and make things heard. Without such harmless teasing, the relationship might feel bland and monotonous.
  8. You have lost the ability to view your partner as someone special and go around them to finish your chores. You and your partner may even perceive each other as another piece of furniture you have to avoid walking into. You don’t notice each other as a special presence and feel attracted.
  9. A relationship might go into boredom when none of you wants to address or understand the feelings or emotions of the other person. Sadness, doubt, disbelief, resentment, and insecurity can make you drift from the healthy relationship attitude.
  10. You often get irritated and annoyed with your partner. There’s no praise or appreciation for each other, and you wish to change everything about the relationship. You may also find the company of your friends and peers more enjoyable than your partner.
  11. When boredom creeps into a relationship, thinking about the future with your partner will make you feel unhappy. You will also lack interest in your partner’s life and feelings.

protip_icon Quick Tip
If you’ve suppressed your true emotions and given up your goals to be in this relationship, chances are your dissatisfaction may grow and turn into impassiveness.

Boredom in a relationship can set in due to a lack of connection, communication, and conviction to keep it going. Unfortunately, it is not a season that will come and go away with time. Unless you work on it, your relationship may succumb to boredom, and this might lead to a breakup. Here are a few tips to help you overcome the boredom you experience in your relationship and bring it back on track.

What To Do When A Relationship Gets Boring?

What to do when a relationship gets boring
Image: IStock
  • Honesty is the best approach to face the truth.
  • Talk about the matter at hand and listen to each other.
  • Try to find ways that work for the two of you to get out of the phase.
  • Change your routine or spice things up a little.
  • Make the relationship more dynamic by surprising each other.
  • Go on a vacation or change the environment or home setting.
  • Try to establish a physical connection with your partner.
  • Create a bucket list and check off the things you do together.
  • Flirt well to maintain the heat of a relationship.
  • Go on dates, bring back old memories, and create a new one.
  • Get a hobby together that you both enjoy.
  • Find common interests and respect the ones that are different.
  • Figure out what made you fall for your partner and begin a relationship and try to revive it.

Bhrigu Pandit, an astrologer and a blogger, recounts how he reignited the passion lost in his relationship with his wife due to their busy schedules. He writes, “We started planning surprise date nights for each other (i).” He continues, “ We made sure to have open and honest conversations about our desires and fantasies.”

Infographic: How To Make Your Relationship Interesting Again

All relationships tend to hit a point where they turn stagnant and boring. Nothing seems exciting about it, and the sparks from the initial days are sorely missing. It’s common in long-term relationships. However, you would be surprised to realize that if a couple sets their mind to it, even a decade-old relationship can feel like a fresh new love.
Check out the infographic below for ideas you may try to make your relationship feel less boring.

how to make your relationship interesting again (infographic)

Illustration: StyleCraze Design Team

Every relationship goes through a phase where everything seems monotonous and tedious. Sometimes, both partners become so comfortable in the setting that they don’t try to spice things up and accept the boredom. They don’t want to please each other anymore, unlike at the start of a relationship. However, a boring relationship runs the risk of breaking up eventually. So, you should do your best to reignite the initial sparks and take the time to make each other feel important to sustain the loving bond. Go out for dates again, discover new things together (food, books, sex, etc.), and be open to new adventures. What you should do is break the routine somehow. Trying to change some habits can be very helpful. Feed the will and pleasure to be together.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is it OK to feel bored in a relationship?

Yes, every relationship goes through a stage of boredom. Just because it is boring, it does not mean it is heading towards a breakup. All it needs is a little effort and spice to spark things up.

When should you end your relationship?

If you have done everything possible to liven the uninteresting relationship up with no results, maybe it is time you and your partner have a talk and say your goodbyes.

What is a stagnant relationship?

A stagnant relationship is where one or both partners feel stuck and lonely in the relationship. They go through the same arguments again and again with no desire to improve the relationship, resulting in an endless loop of uninspiring and lifeless exchanges.

How do you know if a relationship is worth keeping?

If both partners are committed to growth, share similar goals, and love and respect each other, then it is surely a relationship worth fighting for.

Key Takeaways

  • Boredom in a relationship can make you think about your compatibility levels. You may feel clueless and question the scope of a long-term bond.
  • At this phase, you may feel like there is nothing more to know about your partner. You both have set into an uneventful and unexciting routine.
  • Addressing the situation is a way to resolve the issue. Communicate, go on vacations or dates, create new memories, get a hobby together.
boring relationship

Image: Stable Diffusion/StyleCraze Design Team

Uncover the reasons behind feeling bored in healthy relationships and the urge to run from stable ones. Check out this video and delve into the complexities of romantic dynamics.

Personal Experience: Source


Articles on StyleCraze are backed by verified information from peer-reviewed and academic research papers, reputed organizations, research institutions, and medical associations to ensure accuracy and relevance. Read our editorial policy to learn more.

  1. Regulation of Romantic Love Feelings: Preconceptions Strategies and Feasibility
Was this article helpful?
The following two tabs change content below.

Latest Articles