“You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.” – Bob Marley
Maintaining relationships is hard, but getting over a seemingly perfect relationship and partner is even harder. Breakups leave you broken, and you find yourself living a slow and sad Taylor Swift song (read: Right Where You Left Me). But something worse than the breakup itself is the process of moving on. While it may be hard to fathom the thought of getting over your partner, it is necessary to survive and live a happy life.
You might already know the basics — move on, stay busy, and stay off social media. Learning from the experience is crucial to understand what caused the falling out and how to improve future relationships. For those seeking advice on how to move on or help a friend navigate a breakup, this article may have some relevant information. Read on.
In This Article
14 Tips To Deal With A Broken Heart
1. Focus On The Present
Whatever happened has already happened. For however long that relationship lasted or how real it may have been at the moment, it is now over. You should look at it as a lesson to be learned and come out of it as a stronger person. It was for the best, for your best.
2. Get In Touch With Your Feelings
It is natural to feel sad, angry, hurt, or even glad that the relationship saw its end. It is also fine to be hurt more than the other. Let yourself feel the emotions you are currently going through. However, don’t become consumed by your feelings. Find ways to let it all out in a productive manner.
3. Remove Your Rose-Tinted Glasses
When you are together, you seldom look at your partner’s flaws or the issues in your relationship. Now is the time to point them out, learn from the experience, and try to be on the lookout for these red flags in future relationships. It is definitely the time to learn to stand up for yourself.
4. Be Accountable
Take responsibility for your part in the termination of the relationship. While it does not entail internalizing the breakup as being your fault completely, it takes two to tango. Both the partners play a part in not only maintaining a relationship but also causing its end.
5. Don’t Chase Them
Don’t try to win your ex back or think that they might want you back. Plug in your earphones and watch a movie, dance, exercise, and do things that you enjoy. And then sleep. You don’t want to be that ex who keeps texting after the breakup. Pick up your crown, wear it, and move on!
6. Cease Communication
Cut off all routes of communication with your ex. Stop following them on social media platforms. You don’t have to try to be friends, even if you have some mutual friends. Do not try to get in touch to check in on their health, work, or anything else.
7. Isolate, But Not For Too Long
Crying, holing up in your room, binge eating, alcohol, ice cream, or sex — these options do help fill a hole for a brief mourning period. But that’s only when you are ready to pull up your socks and move on to the next phase of your life. No, not a relationship, but other things in life. A day or two should be enough to deal with heartbreak in this manner.
8. Consult A Therapist
If you feel a little too lost, there’s no harm in seeing a therapist. They will not give you solutions but will help you find ways to reach a solution that suits you the best. They will guide you, listen to you, help you introspect, connect with your desires and shortcomings, helping you move on.
9. Rediscover Yourself
Now that you have realized you are better off without them, it is time to give yourself time to love yourself, find yourself, and reclaim your individuality. Give yourself enough time and space before you start trying to move on to the next relationship. People need time to themselves before trying to give it to another person.
10. Declutter Your Mind
Imagine you are moving house. The first step in shifting is to pack your stuff and discard what you don’t need anymore. The same is true for relationships that have ended. Pack your things, feelings, and ditch everything that you don’t need or want anymore. No souvenirs.
11. Rekindle Old Hobbies
Start making time for yourself and take advantage of the newfound opportunity to spend time by yourself. You can bring back the old hobbies that you might not have tried for a while or learn some new ones. You can use this time to get fit, try a new lifestyle, or even start something new altogether.
12. Embrace The Journey
It feels like you took forever to get here. But don’t dwell on the feeling that there might be something wrong. It is a process, a journey that will take time. All things need time to heal – heart or bone.
13. Be Optimistic
Just because this relationship failed doesn’t mean you will never find love again. There will always be another person who will make your heart race and your mind wander and daydream.
14. Rebounds May Wait
One of the first thoughts you might have after breaking up is to get into a new relationship. You might look at it as a new anchor, a way to get revenge, or it might help fulfill your emotional and sexual needs. However, if you try to get into a relationship without healing yourself, you may end up facing another breakup. Be cautious, look out for signs, and wait for the right time to find a new partner.
Take all the time you need to work on yourself and move on from the pain of the breakup. No one else can dictate your healing process. Head to the next section to know how you can circumvent unsought advice.
Dealing With Unsolicited Advice
You might feel other people are a little too interested in your process of healing. The reason behind it could be that they believe they have more experience of dealing with heartbreak, or they want to be a part of the process. Here are a few ways in which you can tackle these bits of advice:
- Sometimes, a person you look up to in some other aspect tries to advise you in the relationship area. Stop them before they cross the boundary.
- Some people may keep giving you advice even if they don’t relate to your situation. They are looking for a way to talk about how they should have handled their breakup. Don’t pay heed to them.
- Be cautious of the people who tend to force a piece of advice on you. They may have an underlying intention, especially if they are not so close to you.
- Set strict boundaries for people to know when and where they should stop. Draw a line when the ‘advice’ goes too far.
- Consider only the advice that resonates with you, and discard the rest as white noise.
Healing is not a linear path but a spiral journey. Moving on might seem hard, long, and tedious. You may have days that will be darker, and you will find yourself missing the person or the relationship a little too much. At such times, focus on the fact that it was all in the past. Move forward in your life as a newer, better version of yourself. It may also help to stay away from love songs and steer clear of your ex completely. Don’t drunk call them, don’t check-in, and don’t leave voice mails that you might regret later. Have faith in your strength and the power of time. You will heal, for sure.
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