Can You Ever Stop Loving Someone You Loved? Here’s Why & How

Discover whether moving on really means you got over your love for someone.

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Darrell Reese is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Associate with 20 years of experience. He helps couples rekindle their love and create a loving and happy relationship through Darrell Reese Counseling. He employs various modalities for these sessions, including Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, Narrative Therapy, Collaborative Language Systems, Solution Focused Brief Therapy, and The Gottman Method, to help deal with issues that arise within relationships.

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Last Updated on Jun 27, 2024

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Broken hearts leave you wondering, can you ever stop loving someone? It can be agonizing to say goodbye to someone after spending so many days together and going through a rollercoaster of emotional upheavals. Letting go of that person, the nostalgia, and the memories you shared is the most difficult part of a breakup. The attachment you shared with that person left a deep impact on you. Even if you try to forget them so many times, love cannot easily fade away. However, the following article may help if you are looking for reasons why you can’t move on or how to come out of the phase and begin a new chapter of your life. Read on to know more.

In This Article

Can You Ever Truly Stop Loving Someone You Truly Loved?

Couple falling out of love after loving each other truly

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To love and be loved is one of the best feelings in the world. And, to love someone unconditionally is something that not many people experience. However, love is not enough to make a relationship last. This may lead to the end of a relationship, and what is left behind are the memories you two had together and the happiness you felt when you were with them. But, can you stop loving someone you loved so truly and deeply? In situations like this, it may feel like the love you had for them will never go away. Let’s accept that this feeling of never being able to stop loving them can be shitty – especially when you see them living their best life even after the breakup.

Love is a complex emotion that can take on many different forms, including commitment, devotion, passion, affection, or infatuation. Seeing them happy may hurt you as it can feel like they no longer care about you. Questions like “Why can I not stop loving them?” and “Will I ever stop loving them and finally move on?” may be plaguing your mind. Well, the answer to these questions is very complex, but what we do know is that there are a few things that could be stopping you from moving on from your ex. These reasons are discussed in the next section. Check them out.

5 Reasons Why You Simply Can’t Stop Loving Them

1. You Got Used Them

Can you ever stop loving someone when you are get used to them

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Be it a short relationship or a long one, being around someone every day and sharing everything with them can become a habit. And when they leave, they leave a big hole in your life. You may constantly wonder what they are doing throughout the day. This fixation with what they are doing can stop you from moving on. No matter how much you try, they are still on your mind, which is really unhelpful for your heart. Getting past this phase can be a long and hard process that requires a lot of patience, strength, and energy.

2. They Are Still Perfect In Your Eyes

Believing that they are the only person you deserve may also stop you from getting over them. When you find someone who you think is perfect in every way, losing them can be the most painful feeling in the world. And if you still think they are the best for you and you will never get anybody more gorgeous or smarter than them, it can prevent you from moving forward in life.

To move on, you need to stop idolizing your ex and start focussing on the reason why you two broke up. This can help you see them clearly – flaws and all – and make you realize that the relationship wasn’t as perfect as you thought.

3. You Blame Yourself For The Breakup

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If you think that you were responsible for the breakup, you will stop yourself from moving forward because of the guilt that you carry. You will unknowingly try to fix things that are not in your control and can’t be fixed. Forgiveness and acceptance are key components to overcoming breakups and heartbreaks.

4. They Are Still Your Main Focus

If your ex was your priority right from day one, it can be quite hard to let go of that idea. You may still be putting them and their feelings ahead of your own needs. This can make you do things like refusing to date anyone else as you think it will hurt your ex. Making them the focus of your life will prevent you from moving on. You need to shift your focus from them and make yourself the topmost priority in your life.

5. You Believe You Are Not Good Enough For Anybody Else

Woman sadly looking into the mirror, feeling devoid of self-esteem

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This kind of thought arises from your own insecurities and low self-esteem. When you fail to see your true beauty, you tend to seek approval from others. And, these insecurities make you believe that you will never find anybody else or nobody else will ever love you the way your ex did. But, what you have to remember is that you are beautiful in your own way, and focusing on yourself will help you realize your worth.

We know it’s really hard to move on from someone. However, in times like these, focusing on yourself will help you start the journey of moving on. Here are some tips that you can follow to move on from someone.

How To Move On From Someone

It is vital to seek closure from your previous relationships to move on and build newer, stronger bonds without the ghosts of the past haunting you. Here are some of the ways you can follow to help you process your emotions and look forward to a happier tomorrow.

Girl moving on from falling out of love for someone

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1. Stop Seeing Them In Person

It is really difficult to move on from someone you see every day. If you are in such a situation where you meet your ex very frequently, avoiding any interaction with them for some time can be the best option. For instance, if you both work at the same place, limit your interaction to your professional duties and do not spend any free time with them. This process can be hard given that you still are in love with them, but it is also necessary for your own good.

2. Stop Following Them On Social Media

It can be really tough to see them living their life without (seemingly) any remorse or sadness over your broken relationship. Hence, it is better to unfollow them and unfriend them on every social media platform.

3. Take A Break

When you go through a heartbreak, it is recommended that you take a break from everyday life. A change of place and routine can be good for you as it can help you take your mind off of your ex. Moreover, the excitement of planning a trip will also help you stay distracted from your breakup.

4. Get Rid Of Things That Remind You Of Them

It is pretty normal to keep your ex’s stuff as souvenirs of your relationship. This could include stuff that you bought together, gifts they gave you, or things that remind you of them. However, keeping them and looking at them every day can stop you from moving on. So, the best thing to do is get rid of this stuff so that you can heal from the breakup.

5. Take Up A New Hobby

You can redirect the energy and focus that you put toward your ex into something that will enhance your life. Taking up a hobby or pursuing something that interests you is a good distraction that will benefit you in the long run.

6. Don’t Run From Your Feelings

Many people tend to run away from their feelings after they go through something heartbreaking. However, to heal from a breakup properly, you have to feel every emotion that comes with it. Otherwise, you will be emotionally exhausted. Running from your emotions will do you more harm than good.

Quick Tip

Acknowledge and validate your feelings, keep the good memories close, and leave out the rest. But should it get overwhelming, journal your feelings and vent your emotions.

7. Don’t Isolate Yourself

When something bad happens, many people have the habit of isolating themselves from the world. This can make it hard for you to move on and heal from the breakup. The support of friends and family can help you tremendously while going through a difficult situation. Hanging out with friends can also distract you from any sad thoughts. Moreover, talking about your feelings with your loved ones can help you work through them and gain the strength to move on from your ex.

Quick Tip

Give yourself time to recover from the breakup. You may otherwise end up in an unwanted rebound relationship.

8. Take Care Of Your Mental Health

A breakup can impact your mental health and push you toward depression. If you think that this is something you are experiencing, consult a therapist. They can help you work through your pain and equip you with the necessary tools to move on from your ex in a healthy manner.

9. Focus On Yourself

It is important to prioritize your health and happiness as you navigate this difficult period in your life. Do things that bring you joy. Get enough sleep, eat well, exercise, and engage in calming practices like yoga or meditation to boost your physical and mental well-being. However, it is important to accept the situation to start your healing journey. To help you do that, you can talk to your therapist or loved ones. If that is something you are not ready for, you can journal every day to help you process and understand your feelings better. Remember, healing is not a linear journey and focusing on yourself is key to moving on.

Infographic: Self-Love After A Breakup

You give a lot of yourself in a relationship. So, when it comes to an end, you may experience pain, emptiness, regrets, and confusion. But you must remember that it is not the end of the world. Everything happens for a reason, and maybe the end of your relationship is paving the way for bigger and better beginnings in life. It will not be easy to bounce back overnight after a breakup, but you can always take baby steps towards healing and learning to love yourself.

Check out the infographic below to know how you can start your journey towards self-love.

‘Can you ever stop loving someone?’ – this multifaceted question hides many complex aspects you need to consider behind its simplicity. We are complicated human beings capable of feeling and expressing various emotions. Once a special bond has been broken, we do not lose the feelings for them like a turned-off switch. Instead, we miss them, think about them, and continue looking for ways to get back together. However, you must remember that such emotional behavior may take a toll on your mental health. Certain things are not meant to last forever, and all you can do is keep working on yourself and become a better person.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can you ever stop loving your first love?

It is difficult to stop loving your first love. It may be because it was your first time experiencing such intense emotions, so that person may become a permanent fixture in your memory.

How long does it take to stop loving someone?

Every relationship is different, and the reasons to break up are various. So, there cannot be a fixed timeframe for you to stop loving someone. However, according to a 2007 study, most people move on from a relationship within 3 months (1).

When should you let go of a relationship?

Several signs may indicate it’s time to let go of a relationship. For example, if you are not happy, if you and your partner want different things in life, if you are being abused, etc.

Key Takeaways

If you are used to being with someone, it is difficult to stop loving them even after separation.
Not meeting them in person and taking a break from daily life can help you move on gradually.
Take care of your mental health after a breakup, indulge in new hobbies, and do not run from your feelings.

Image: Dall·E/StyleCraze Design Team

Can you stop loving someone if you truly loved them? Find out in this video as we explore the complexities of love and how to move on. Watch it now!

References

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