Can’t Stop Thinking About Him? How To Deal With It

Now you know why he is always in your mind and what you can do about it.

Reviewed by Hemali Adhiya, ICF Certified Relationship Coach Hemali Adhiya Hemali AdhiyaICF Certified Relationship Coach facebook_iconyoutube_iconinsta_icon
Written by , Integrated MA, Certified Relationship Coach Sneha Tete Integrated MA, Certified Relationship Coach linkedin_icon Experience: 4 years
Edited by , MA (English) Asmita De MA (English) linkedin_icon Experience: 3 years
Fact-checked by , MA Sangita Goel MA linkedin_icon Experience: 2 years
Last Updated on

Why can’t I stop thinking about him? It is probably a question most women ask themselves if they are crushing on someone intensely. If you like someone, you tend to pay attention to every little detail of the person and end up daydreaming about him or brooding about not being around him. Well, you are not crazy, and this is not uncommon.

Wondering what to do if you are caught up in such a situation? Fret not! We are here to help you. In this article, we have listed the 16 reasons why you cannot stop thinking about your crush and how to deal with it. Keep reading!

16 Reasons Why You Cannot Stop Thinking About Him

A woman in love thinking of her boyfriend
Image: Created with Dall.E

Constantly thinking about someone you like can be a comforting escape, but it can also be distracting. If you wish to be with them but for whatever reason cannot, it can be torturous. You may feel a sense of hopelessness.

On the other hand, if you are already committed and cannot stop thinking about him, you could be riddled with guilt. Whatever is the reason, you have to act upon it. The first step is to separate emotions from logic. You have to understand the possible reasons why you feel this way and seek your solutions accordingly. Here are some common reasons for this obsessive fixation.

1. You Are Infatuated With Him

Infatuation is an instant feeling of gravitation and love towards a person. You may call it ’love at first sight.’ It leaves you constantly thinking about the person and the moments you spent together. This preoccupation and constant contemplation is skin-deep – you may not know him well but might have an impression of him. You always indulge in rumination surrounding him and thoughts of him. Your mind might make up or ascertain qualities to the person, which might not be true.

Nonetheless, this leaves you overseeing many red flags that the person may give off, making them seem perfect to you. Since you know only a part of them, you may frequently think and analyze the small interactions you must deduce something more.

2. He Is Your Comforter

He Is Your Comforter
Image: Shutterstock

If he is always there for you, subconsciously, you might always seek him out when you want comfort. It is easy to romanticize a relationship with someone you trust. And if life has got you feeling extra vulnerable, you may be thinking about how you just want to turn to him to help make things better.

3. You Avoid Confronting Your Feelings For Him

Sometimes you might have a habit of suppressing your feelings for him. Whenever your potential feelings come up, you try hard not to think about them, but it backfires.

This is because the harder you try to push it away in your mind, the more likely it is to rebound and chase you even in your dreams! It can get quite irritating and bring him more into focus.

4. He Has Had A Significant Impact On Your Life

Whether he was a stranger you had a great conversation with or someone who helped you out at work, he may have made a big difference in your life. Reflections on his thoughts, actions, and attributes keep you mentally invested in him. He may have given you a shift in perspective, and this keeps reminding you about him. It may even make you curious about him and want to know him better.

Whatever it is, he is someone your brain associates as important or significant, so it might be hard to stop thinking about him.

5. You Spend A Lot Of Time Together

Spending a lot of time with someone gives you a better chance to know them and gaining a deeper insight into who they are. More importantly, in this scenario, it might also lead to attachment. You may constantly be forwarding each other memes, discussing articles, and your daily lives.

So naturally, there can be many instances in a day when something happens, and it instantly makes you want to share it with him. Spending time together could contribute to the development of feelings.

6. He Reminds You Of Someone You Admire

He Reminds You Of Someone You Admire
Image: Shutterstock

Many people’s attachment styles stem from the relationships we have with our parents or people we admire. You may have heard that people are likely to pick significant others similar to them; this is often true as people seek familiarity.

He might have a quirk that reminds you of a parent or someone you admire. Think about this one, it might not be too obvious, but there could be something in his habits or looks that has him in your mind constantly.

7. You Have Great Chemistry

Chemistry is something you can’t determine or foretell. But once you feel it with a person, it is undeniable and hard to resist. You will notice this in the way you interact with him, and you might feel that being with him seems so right, and you two are meant to be together.

You will find yourself constantly making up scenarios or thinking about your amazing interactions. Just thinking about him makes you excited and smile. Chemistry is one element that can truly set someone apart from others you meet throughout your life.

8. He Intrigues You

This could be his mannerisms, the way he thinks, or even his story. For some reason, you find yourself curious about him and constantly speculating about him in your mind. It makes sense that you can’t stop thinking about him because he piques your interest.

Simple things in your day might trigger your mind to think about their perspective or reaction to them. It is the mystery around him that fuels this thinking.

9. You Are Attracted To Him

We subconsciously pick the people we like, and a lot of this is driven by biological cues. A lot of this has to do with the features and pheromones. This is what physical attraction is all about, and it drives desire.

This may also be the main cause of infatuation. When you meet someone, the first thing you notice about them is their appearance. It is what forms your biases, leading you to paint a rosy picture. Hence, when you are crushing on someone, it is the looks that may not allow you to quit thinking about him. You always find yourself pondering and musing about your encounters with him.

10. You Associate An Element Of Thrill With Him

You Associate An Element Of Thrill With Him
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The human brain is known to mistake fear for arousal. It is quite common to feel attraction for someone after a thrilling experience such as an adventurous hike or a rollercoaster ride. So, depending on your interactions with him, a sense of thrill and adventure can have you constantly replaying them in your mind. You may also find yourself eagerly waiting for your next interaction.

11. You Are In Love

Love is a powerful emotion. It is guided by various chemicals and thoughts in the body and mind. You have physical and emotional responses to the object of your affection. You develop a strong attachment to them, and before you know it, they feel like the center of your universe. You are often fantasizing about him and missing him deeply. So, it is no surprise that you always think about him when such intense emotions are involved.

12. You Are Unsure About Him

If you are in a relationship with him or are in a complicated situation, this may be the reason why you can’t stop thinking about him.

When you have doubts about a person, you are likely to be analyzing comments from them, their actions, how they behave, and what people say about them. It can be quite an emotional turmoil. So, if you are skeptical about him, you can see why you end up thinking about him even more!

13. He Has Qualities That You Admire

You may like him because he has qualities you want to imbibe. Since these are qualities you have wanted to work on for yourself, you are more likely to appreciate and even look up to him. It can also make it that much easier for him to impress you and have you thinking about him often.

14. He Likes You

He Likes You
Image: Shutterstock

Reciprocity plays a big role when it comes to love and attraction. You are more likely to think of someone if you know they like you. While you get an ego boost from it, it also makes a potential relationship much more attainable and realistic.

Knowing that he likes you can get you thinking about various hypothetical scenarios and imagining what it would be like to date him. With the fear of rejection eliminated, your mind might be more open to a future relationship with him.

On the other hand, if you are not interested, you might still find yourself thinking about him. The difference is, here, you may be analyzing his actions to know which ones are out of his affections for you so that the next time, you can be more mindful of them.

15. He Is Unusual

This one is simple. If he is someone exotic or way different from the crowd, you are bound to be intrigued. Maybe he is the smartest guy you have met till now, or it could be his accent. Even his attitude, if it goes beyond the norms, could be something that catches your eye. The fact that he is not like anyone you have ever met will get your wheels turning. You are bound to think about this mysterious and thrilling person!

16. You Both Are Quite Alike

Similarity is a common reason for attraction. Beliefs, thoughts, sentimentality and similar likes could lead to you falling for him. This is because you have much less to argue on and more to discuss and enjoy together.

If you both love the same movies or share a love for a hobby, you are more likely to spend time together. If he is someone at your workplace, like-mindedness could make you feel like a team and rely on him for support.

The more you share, the more you may find that you can’t stop thinking about him, as many of your favorite things might remind you of him.

There might not be one specific reason why you can’t stop thinking about him. You might realize that it is a mix of reasons; after all, attraction is quite a complicated phenomenon that has researchers constantly studying and exploring its biology and psychology.

Now that you have seen the possible reasons why you might be thinking about him all the time, you can choose solutions that suit your situation. But if you are wondering whether thinking about him seems normal, then check out the following section.

Is It Normal To Think About Him All The Time?

It is common to frequently think about someone you are emotionally connected to or have strong feelings for. However, if you are in a committed relationship and constantly find your thoughts drifting to someone else, it might indicate unaddressed feelings or issues in your current relationship.

While it is natural to think of that person and admire them, incessant thoughts can signal deeper emotions. It is essential to introspect about these feelings: is it mere curiosity, a fleeting crush, or an indication of a missing element in your existing relationship? Honest self-reflection and, if necessary, open communication with your partner can help address these feelings.

Remember that you cannot just push your thoughts away as mentioned above – they can rebound. So instead, here are some practical suggestions you can adopt to stop thinking about him.

Things To Do When You Cannot Stop Thinking About Him

Things To Do When You Cannot Stop Thinking About Him 
Image: Shutterstock

1. Reduce Contact

You may have heard the phrase ’out of sight, out of mind.’ In cases of attachment, the first thing you can do when you are trying not to think about him is to put some distance in between. The more you disconnect from him, the less you are likely to think about him. The yearning or longing to see or meet him can only be reduced by lessening contact with him.

Sure, at first, you might think about him even more. But eventually, without the stimuli, your brain will be less likely to keep bringing him up.

protip_icon Quick Tip

Unfollow him on social media platforms. Block his accounts to control your urge for stalking. Delete his images from your phone memory. This will help you move on and focus on yourself instead of him.

2. Get To Know Him Better

If you have romantic feelings towards him without even knowing him, getting to know him is a good solution. This is because you may have some preconceived ideas about who he is based simply on his looks.

When it comes to infatuation, people tend to keep the person on a pedestal. So, knowing him better will give you a deeper look into who he is and if he is meant for you. You might find that his qualities are not what you prefer in a significant other, or you may find that you both have good chemistry!

3. Focus On A Hobby

Focus On A Hobby
Image: Shutterstock

A hobby can take your mind off him and work as a distraction. You have to concentrate and engage yourself in it. This way, you learn to leave what is on your mind behind and concentrate on the task at hand. It also gives you more to think about.

When spending time on a hobby, you may have to learn something to help it grow. This is a positive way to divert your attention and stop thinking about him.

4. Confront Your Feelings

If you have been in denial or avoided sorting out your feelings towards him, it may be time to stop. Whether you feel love or any other emotion towards him, pushing it away will only make you think about him even more. So, take the time and think about what you feel for him.

Ask yourself questions like what qualities you like, what you wish to gain from a relationship with him, etc. Facing your emotions may help calm the thought-consumed turmoil within your mind.

5. Remind Yourself Why You Love Your Partner

If you are in a relationship and have been thinking of another person, that can be a tricky situation. You may end up feeling guilty for letting your mind wander. Remind yourself of the qualities you cherish about your spouse. Doing so reminds you about what you have and how great it is. Just remember that it is common to have crushes, so do not beat yourself up for it and instead try to find the humor in being human!

6. Focus On Yourself

Focus On Yourself
Image: Shutterstock

Self-care is known to be therapeutic and refreshing. A good session of TLC can calm the mind and relieve tension. All the stress and pressure that you put on yourself when you can’t stop thinking about him can melt away when you dedicate time for this.

Be it a long shower, hitting the gym extra hard, going on nature walks, taking up baking, or even building a new skill. What you choose to do for yourself will make you glow and add to your inner happiness.

7. Try Meeting New People

If you find yourself fixating on him, seek out new connections. This way, you explore more of what is out there. Your mind might have decided that he is the one for you, but remember, there are billions of people in the world. You are bound to find strong connections with many. So push yourself to go out and find the one truly meant for you.

Meeting new people also gives you a perspective. You do not necessarily have to meet potential romantic partners. Just making new friends can stimulate your mind and remind you about the beauty of platonic connections.

8. Talk To A Friend

Sometimes it is good just let it all out! And who better to do this with than a good friend.

The next time you feel your mind creeping towards thinking about him, pick the phone on your friend. Share your thoughts with them. Sometimes saying it out loud and discussing it with a friend can give you insights and interesting conclusions.

9. Confront Him

Confront Him
Image: Shutterstock

The fears you have are in your mind, and not knowing what the other person is thinking may compel you to think more of him. Put your doubts to rest by confronting him. Going on a date and getting to know him better can put to rest the ’what ifs’ that plague your mind.

Worst case, you know you tried and put yourself out there. But if things work out, you have found a rewarding relationship!

10. Remind Yourself Of Why He Isn’t Right For You

If you know him well, reminiscing about the bad experiences or reminding yourself why it will not work out when you start thinking about him will help. A nostalgia for the good times and moments might cloud your judgment of the reality of the situation. You are aware of what qualities or reasons put you both at odds, so a reality check can make your thoughts less romantic. When your mind starts gravitating towards him, your rational thoughts and logic will help you realize why he is not right for you.

11. Be Watchful Of The Genres You Consume For A While

The last thing you want to do is watch a rom-com and have your brain constantly picture him and you together in similar situations. Media has a way of staying with you long after, so be mindful of what you watch. For the time that you can’t stop thinking about him, switch to comedies and shows/movies without romantic arcs.

12. Work On A Self-Improvement Project

Confront Him
Image: Shutterstock

Set daily goals for yourself to occupy your mind and look forward to something that is not him. You can pick anything: from something as small as learning how to fix a bulb to take a pottery course online.

When you divert your energy to something positive and for yourself, your mind will be engaged, and you will feel proud of your accomplishments. It also boosts your self-esteem.

protip_icon Quick Tip

You can join a community club to volunteer in any interesting activity. This is the best way to meet new people and have interesting conversations.

13. Speak To A Therapist

If the constant thoughts about him are affecting you or your health adversely, seek the help of a therapist. They will help break down why you feel this way about him and give you tailored strategies to come out of it. Ensure that you are frank and honest with what you expect from your therapy session and with what you feel.

Speaking to a therapist will also help ease your mind of any other related burdens and help build strategies that better equip you for the next time you find yourself enthralled by someone.

14. Channel Your Thoughts Into Art

For emotions that cannot be put into words or that are hard to express, there is art. Art is a beautiful and positive way to channel your thoughts. Whether you choose to paint, sculpt, scrapbook or write – expressing yourself allows you to get all those thoughts out. When you can’t stop thinking about him, divert your attention to creating something.

15. Be Kind To Yourself

Choose what way you are comfortable with and give yourself time. Do not be hard on yourself. It is extremely normal to think about someone you like constantly. As long as you are choosing to act positively, you are moving in the right direction.

Infographic: Can’t Stop Thinking About Him

When you see someone you are attracted to or have a crush on, you begin to think about them all the time. You think about how they look, what type of a person they are, what would you say to them if you finally picked up the courage to talk to them, etc.

However, there are some instances when constantly thinking about a person can be a bad thing. For example, thinking about someone so much that it takes over your life and affects your ability to work.

Check out the infographic below to learn when it’s good to keep thinking about someone and when it’s bad.

cant stop thinking about him (infographic)

Illustration: StyleCraze Design Team

As humans, we are complex, and so are our emotions. Our feelings in unprecedented situations can put us through complicated dilemmas. There are many approaches to deal with them, but you need to find what suits you best. It would be best to sit down, reflect on your feelings and be honest with yourself.

There could be many reasons you can’t stop thinking about someone. Mentally going over your interactions can help you narrow down the causes. Focus on yourself if you don’t like thinking about them. However, if you like how their thoughts make you feel, remember that such feelings are rare and special. There is nothing wrong with enjoying these emotions and getting to know them better. The next steps will become clear as you continue learning about them.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do you know if someone’s thinking about you?

According to anecdotal evidence, common psychic signs that someone is thinking about you include sudden bouts of sneezing, hiccups, flushing, and twitching of your eyes.

Is it true that if you have a dream about someone, they were thinking about you?

Possibly. While there is no conclusive evidence that it is true, anecdotal evidence suggests that such dreams mean that the person was thinking of you and may meet you soon.

What does it mean when the same person keeps popping up in your dreams?

Having recurring dreams about someone may indicate that you subconsciously want to meet them, are trying to understand them better, or have deep feelings of affection for them.

Key Takeaways

  • When a particular person has a positive impact on you, comforts you, or reminds you of someone you love, you start thinking about them constantly.
  • If you want to limit thinking about someone, you can reduce contact with them and start focusing on yourself.
  • But if you want things to progress with them, you can try to get to know them better and confess your feelings to them.

Discover the reasons why you can’t stop thinking about him from the video below. Uncover the thoughts and emotions that keep you captivated by that special someone.

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Hemali Adhiya
Hemali AdhiyaICF Certified Relationship Coach
Hemali is an ICF-Certified ACC Level Life Coach with 3 years of experience in relationship, marriage, and grief coaching. Her sessions aim to bring about transformation in her clients’ lives, perspectives, and relationships.

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