Taking a liking to someone is quite the rollercoaster. You begin to notice the little things about this person, and they tug at the strings of your heart. You try to understand them better through their cues, and before you know it, you are daydreaming about them! Sometimes, even without trying, your mind always wanders to them, and you cannot get them out of your head!
No, you are not going crazy. You are just human. Almost everyone has gone through this feeling of intensely crushing on someone. Here is a breakdown of why it happens and what you can do to ease the pining.
In This Article
16 Reasons Why You Cannot Stop Thinking About Him
Constantly thinking about someone you like can be a comforting escape, but it can also be distracting. If you wish to be with them but for whatever reason cannot, it can be torturous. You may feel a sense of hopelessness.
On the other hand, if you are already committed and cannot stop thinking about him, you could be riddled with guilt. Whatever is the reason, you have to act upon it. The first step is to separate the emotions and add logic. You have to understand the possible reasons why you feel this way and seek your solutions accordingly. Here are some common reasons:
1. You Are Infatuated With Him
Infatuation is an instant feeling of gravitation and love towards a person. You may call it ‘love at first sight.’ It leaves you constantly thinking about the person and your moments together. Infatuation is skin-deep – you may not know him well but might have an impression of him. Your mind might make up or ascertain qualities to the person, which might not be true.
Nonetheless, this leaves you overseeing many red flags that the person may give off, making them seem perfect to you. Since you know only a part of them, you may frequently think and analyze the small interactions you must deduce something more.
2. He Is Your Comforter
If he is always there for you, subconsciously, you might always seek him out when you want comfort. It is easy to romanticize a relationship with someone you trust. And if life has got you feeling extra vulnerable, you may be thinking about how you just want to turn to him to help make things better.
3. You Avoid Confronting Your Feelings For Him
Sometimes you might have a habit of suppressing your feelings for him. Whenever your potential feelings come up, you try hard not to think about them, but it backfires.
This is because the harder you try to push it away in your mind, the more likely it is to rebound and chase you even in your dreams! It can get quite irritating and bring him more into focus.
4. He Has Had A Significant Impact On Your Life
Whether he was a stranger you had a great conversation with or someone who helped you out at work, he may have made a big difference in your life. He may have given you a shift in perspective, and this keeps reminding you about him. It may even make you curious about him and want to know him better.
Whatever it is, he is someone your brain associates as important or significant, so it might be hard to stop thinking about him.
5. You Spend A Lot Of Time Together
Spending a lot of time with someone gives you a better chance to know them and gaining a deeper insight into who they are. More importantly, in this scenario, it might also lead to attachment. You may constantly be forwarding each other memes, discussing articles, and your daily lives.
So naturally, there can be many instances in a day when something happens, and it instantly makes you want to share it with him. Spending time together could contribute to the development of feelings.
6. He Reminds You Of Someone You Admire
Many people’s attachment styles stem from the relationships we have with our parents or people we admire. You may have heard that people are likely to pick significant others similar to them; this is often true as people seek familiarity.
He might have a quirk that reminds you of a parent or someone you admire! Think about this one, it might not be too obvious, but something in his habits or looks has him in your mind constantly.
7. You Have Great Chemistry
Chemistry is something you can’t determine or foretell. But once you feel it with a person, it is undeniable and hard to resist. You will notice this in the way you interact with him, and you might feel that being with him seems so right, and you two are meant to be together.
You will find yourself constantly making up scenarios or thinking about your amazing interactions. Just thinking about him makes you excited and smile. Chemistry is one element that can truly set someone apart from others you meet throughout your life.
8. He Intrigues You
This could be his mannerisms, the way he thinks, or even his story. For some reason, you find yourself curious about him and constantly speculating about him in your mind. It makes sense that you can’t stop thinking about him because he piques your interest.
Simple things in your day might trigger your mind to think about their perspective or reaction to them. It is the mystery around him that fuels this thinking.
9. You Are Attracted To Him
We subconsciously pick the people we like, and a lot of this is driven by biological cues. A lot of this has to do with the features and pheromones. This is what physical attraction is all about, and it drives desire.
This may also be the main cause of infatuation. When you meet someone, the first thing you notice is their appearance. It is what forms your biases, leading you to paint a rose-tinted picture. Hence, when you are crushing on someone, you may not quit thinking about him.
10. You Associate An Element Of Thrill With Him
The human brain is known to mistake fear for arousal. It is quite common to feel attraction to someone after a thrilling experience such as an adventurous hike or a rollercoaster ride. So, depending on your interactions with him, a sense of thrill and adventure can have you constantly replaying them in your mind. You may also find yourself waiting for your next interaction eagerly.
11. You Are In Love
Love is a powerful emotion. It is guided by various chemicals and thoughts in the body. You have physical and emotional responses to the object of your affection. You develop a strong attachment to them, and before you know it, they feel like the center of your universe. So, it is no surprise that you always think about him when such intense emotions are involved.
12. You Are Unsure About Him
If you are in a relationship with him or are in a complicated situation, this may be the reason why you can’t stop thinking about him.
When you have doubts about a person, you are likely to be analyzing comments from them, their actions, how they behave, and what people say about them. It can be quite an emotional turmoil. So, if you are skeptical about him, you can see why you end up thinking about him even more!
13. He Has Qualities That You Admire
You may like him because he has qualities you want to imbibe. Since these are qualities you have wanted to work on for yourself, you are more likely to appreciate and even look up to him. It can also make it that much easier for him to impress you and have you thinking about him often.
14. He Likes You
Reciprocity plays a big role when it comes to love and attraction. You are more likely to think of someone if you know they like you. While you get an ego boost from it, it also makes a potential relationship much more attainable and realistic.
Knowing that he likes you can get you thinking about various hypothetical scenarios and imagining what it would be like to date him. With the fear of rejection eliminated for you, your mind might be more open to a future relationship with him.
On the other hand, if you are not interested, still, you might find yourself thinking about him. The difference is, here, you may be analyzing his actions to know which ones are out of his affections for you so that the next time, you can be more mindful of them.
15. He Is Unusual
This one is simple. If he is someone exotic or way different from the crowd, you are bound to be intrigued. Maybe he is the smartest guy you have met till now, or it could be his accent. Even his attitude, if it goes beyond the norms, could be something that catches your eye. The fact that he is not like anyone you have ever met will get your wheels turning. You are bound to think about this mysterious and thrilling person!
16. You Both Are Quite Alike
Similarity is a common reason for attraction. Beliefs, thoughts, and similar likes could lead to you falling for him. This is because you have much less to argue on and more to discuss and enjoy together.
If you both love the same movies or share a love for a hobby, you are more likely to spend time together. If he is someone at your workplace, like-mindedness could make you feel like a team and rely on him for support.
The more you share, the more you may find that you can’t stop thinking about him, as many of your favorite things might remind you of him.
There might not be one specific reason why you can’t stop thinking about him. You might realize that it is a mix of reasons; after all, attraction is quite a complicated phenomenon that has researchers constantly studying and exploring its biology and psychology.
Now that you have seen the possible reasons why you might be thinking about him all the time, you can choose solutions that suit your situation. Remember that you cannot just push away your thoughts as mentioned above – they can rebound. So instead, here are some practical ways you can adopt to stop thinking about him.
Things To Do When You Cannot Stop Thinking About Him
1. Reduce Contact
You may have heard the phrase ‘out of sight, out of mind.’ In cases of attachment, the first thing you can do when you are trying not to think about him is to put some distance in between. The more you disconnect from him, the less you are likely to think about him.
Sure, at first, you might think about him even more. But eventually, without the stimuli, your brain will be less likely to keep bringing him up.
2. Get To Know Him Better
If you have romantic feelings towards him without even knowing him, getting to know him is a good solution. This is because you may have some preconceived ideas about who he is based simply on his looks.
When it comes to infatuation, people tend to keep the person on a pedestal. So, knowing him better will give you a deeper look into who he is and if he is meant for you. You might find that his qualities are not what you prefer in a significant other, or you may find that you both have good chemistry!
3. Focus On A Hobby
A hobby can take your mind off him and work as a distraction. You have to concentrate and engage yourself in it. This way, you learn to leave what is on your mind behind and concentrate on the task at hand. It also gives you more to think about.
When spending time on a hobby, you may have to learn something to help it grow. This is a positive way to divert your attention and stop thinking about him.
4. Confront Your Feelings
If you have been in denial or avoided sorting out your feelings towards him, it may be time to stop. Whether you feel love or any other emotion towards him, pushing it away will only make you think about him even more. So, take the time and think about what you feel for him.
Ask yourself questions like what qualities you like, what you wish to gain from a relationship with him, etc. Facing your emotions may help calm the thought-consumed turmoil within your mind.
5. Remind Yourself Why You Love Your Partner
If you are in a relationship and have been thinking of another person, that can be a tricky situation. You may end up feeling guilty for letting your mind wander. Remind yourself of the qualities you cherish about your spouse. Doing so reminds you about what you have and how great it is. Just remember that it is common to have crushes, so do not beat yourself up for it and instead try to find the humor in being human!
6. Focus On Yourself
Self-care is known to be therapeutic and refreshing. A good session of TLC can calm the mind and relieve tension. All the stress and pressure that you put on yourself when you can’t stop thinking about him can melt away when you dedicate time for this.
Be it a long shower, hitting the gym extra hard, going on nature walks, taking up baking, or even building a new skill. What you choose to do for yourself will make you glow and add to your inner happiness.
7. Try Meeting New People
If you find yourself fixating on him, seek out new connections. This way, you explore more of what is out there. Your mind might have decided that he is the one for you, but remember, there are billions of people in the world. You are bound to find strong connections with many. So push yourself to go out and find the one truly meant for you.
Meeting new people also gives you a perspective. You do not necessarily have to meet potential romantic partners. Just making new friends can stimulate your mind and remind you about the beauty of platonic connections.
8. Talk To A Friend
Sometimes it is good just let it all out! And who better to do this with than a good friend.
The next time you feel your mind creeping towards thinking about him, pick the phone on your friend. Share your thoughts with them. Sometimes saying it out loud and discussing it with a friend can give you insights and interesting conclusions.
9. Confront Him
The fears you have are in your mind, and not knowing what the other person is thinking may compel you to think more of him. Put your doubts to rest by confronting him. Going on a date and getting to know him better can put to rest the ‘what ifs’ that plague your mind.
Worst case, you know you tried and put yourself out there. But if things work out, you have found a rewarding relationship!
10. Remind Yourself Of Why He Isn’t Right For You
If you know him well, remind yourself why it will not work out when you start thinking about him. You might be aware of what qualities or reasons put you both at odds. So, a reality check makes your thoughts less romantic. When your mind starts gravitating towards him, your rational thoughts and logic will help you realize why he is not right for you.
11. Be Watchful Of The Genres You Consume For A While
The last thing you want to do is watch a rom-com and have your brain constantly picture him and you together in similar situations. Media has a way of staying with you long after, so be mindful of what you watch. For the time that you can’t stop thinking about him, switch to comedies and shows/movies without romantic arcs.
12. Work On A Self-Improvement Project
Set daily goals for yourself to occupy your mind and look forward to something that is not him. You can pick anything: from something as small as learning how to fix a bulb to take a pottery course online.
When you divert your energy to something positive and for yourself, your mind will be engaged, and you will feel proud of your accomplishments. It also boosts your self-esteem.
13. Speak To A Therapist
If the constant thoughts about him are affecting you or your health adversely, seek the help of a therapist. They will help break down why you feel this way about him and give you tailored strategies to come out of it. Ensure that you are frank and honest with what you expect from your therapy session and with what you feel.
Speaking to a therapist will also help ease your mind of any other related burdens and help build strategies that better equip you for the next time you find yourself enthralled by someone.
14. Channel Your Thoughts Into Art
For emotions that cannot be put into words or that are hard to express, there is art. Art is a beautiful and positive way to channel your thoughts. Whether you choose to paint, sculpt, scrapbook or write – expressing yourself allows you to get all those thoughts out. When you can’t stop thinking about him, divert your attention to creating something.
15. Be Kind To Yourself
Choose what way you are comfortable with and give yourself time. Do not be hard on yourself. It is extremely normal to think about someone you like constantly. As long as you are choosing to act positively, you are moving in the right direction.
Human emotions are complex and multi-faceted, and they can lead to dilemmas that are even more complicated. With many approaches to dealing with them, finding one that fits you can be hard. Thus, you must be honest with yourself above all else.
When you can’t stop thinking about him, remind yourself that it is important to narrow down the cause. Lastly, it is rare and special to have feelings, so do not punish yourself. Rather, try to enjoy the challenges and joys of being human!