30 Tell-Tale Signs Your Husband Is Cheating On You

The signs of cheating can be subtle – he may start dressing up more and spending more time at work.

Reviewed by Mark Rosenfeld, Dating & Relationship Coach Mark Rosenfeld Mark RosenfeldDating & Relationship Coach facebook_icontwitter_iconlinkedin_iconyoutube_iconinsta_icon
Written by , Integrated MA, Certified Relationship Coach Sneha Tete Integrated MA, Certified Relationship Coach linkedin_icon Experience: 4 years
Edited by , MA (English Literature) Madhumati Chowdhury MA (English Literature) Experience: 7 years
Fact-checked by , MA Gracia Odile MA Experience: 3 years

Cheating or infidelity is a traumatic experience to deal with. The suspicion that you have been cheated on is one of the worst feelings – a true nightmare. Getting cheated can lower your confidence and disrupt your mental health. In addition, the trauma can cause depression, and the victim may develop trust issues. While infidelity may cause a blow in your married life, you may notice some signs or behavior changes in your husband. What signs should you look for to uncover a possibly cheating husband? This article explores 30 signs your husband is cheating as well as why husbands cheat. Scroll down for more information.

Note: The signs listed in this article can give you an insight. If you feel that something is wrong with your husband and he has acted so that you suspect him, that tells what he is. However, these signs may vary from person to person and are not foolproof.

30 Signs Your Husband Is Cheating

Image: Shutterstock
  1. Your husband has started to distance himself and shows stiffness that wasn’t there before.
  2. The times he is with you, he is body present, mind absent.
  3. He often claims to be too tired and doesn’t show interest in the couple activities that both of you enjoyed.
  4. His style of dressing, speaking, or carrying himself has drastically and noticeably changed.
  5. He picks petty fights with you for trivial reasons (or no reason at all).
  6. There is a mention of a new female friend, and her name is being brought up suspiciously frequently.
  7. He now either gives you everything you have wanted (something he absolutely wouldn’t buy for you before is now waiting for you) or ignores you and stops pampering you.
  8. He has started to be crude or extremely sarcastic for no reason – to the point that it hurts your feelings badly. (This may just be another excuse to pick a fight and leave the house!)
  9. He has new sudden interests that you don’t seem to be a part of, or you are sure to not be interested in.
  10. There is a sudden, pronounced interest in your schedule for the day.
  11. Working habits that were a staple have suddenly changed.
  12. He has started to become more and more private about his day.
protip_icon Trivia
There are multiple types of infidelity, and two major ones are sexual and emotional. The former does not involve romance, while the latter involves no sexual activity.
  1. He has stopped wearing items that show he’s taken (wedding ring, couples’ pendant) and does not have good reasoning or a reason at all if asked.
  2. There are credit card charges in his bill that you don’t know about, and he won’t explain them to you.
  3. Those close to him­ give you cryptic answers, replies, or messages that don’t help at all.
  4. He now suspects you of infidelity. (Pot, are you calling the kettle black?)
  5. Affection that was shown normally (hugs, kisses, and pecks) is now few and far between.
  6. His colleagues and friends have begun acting weird around you (hiding a secret maybe)
  7. When you show him affection in private or in front of others, you get snubbed off.
  8. He has started working for long hours, even if he previously disliked it and is now hiding his income from you.
  9. He has begun to look down upon and criticize you.
  10. Calls during work, which were very common before, are now being discouraged. He’d rather you don’t call, and when you do, he’s “unavailable”.
  11. You have started to feel weird and uncomfortable in your relationship – something seems off.
  12. You have tried to ask him if he may be cheating, but he either acts innocent or talks his way out of giving an answer.
  13. He shows minimal respect for you when you are out with friends or family.
  14. Moodiness is now the middle name of your husband.
  15. He starts arguments purely to blow the issue out of proportion and spends a few hours outside to “cool off.”
  16. Talks about the future and where you will end up have stopped. Instead, he will do anything to not contemplate what comes next.
  17. His phone is suddenly off-limits, and numbers are being deleted from his phone very often.
  18. He, who once used to be the most reliable and was sure to resolve your issues, has become irresponsible, reckless, and problematic.

If you are wondering why exactly your husband has cheated, scroll down to the next section for the answer.

Why Do Husbands Cheat?

Why do husbands cheat
Image: Shutterstock

There are many reasons behind it. Some are really simple, boiling down to power-play, and some are more complex and more psychologically ingrained.

If your partner was brought up in an environment where cheating was prominent, he might be prone to cheating. Other reasons include:

Daina, a YouTuber, recounted a challenging period in her marriage in a video. She shared. She described a time when financial strain caused her husband’s behavior to change. Despite efforts to revitalize their joint channel, inconsistencies and reluctance led to a significant rift, with Daina observing, “He doesn’t want to do it anymore… we weren’t consistent enough (i).”

Many things can lead to cheating spouses. Childhood trauma is one of the primary psychologically inclined reasons. If your partner may have gone through emotional abuse as a child or was brought up in an environment where cheating was prominent, he might be prone to cheating. Other reasons include:

  • He is not satisfied with his life and doesn’t feel like he is taking charge of it. He feels insignificant compared to the other males in his circle.
  • He feels that he is not adequately appreciated.
  • He is insecure, maybe because of the income his wife brings in or the social standing his wife has.
  • The impact of aging – this boils down to how he looks and feels about himself. The whole cheating plan may just be because he wants to show that even if he’s growing old, he’s still got it.

None of these, of course, excuse cheating. These may be the reasons why he cheats and some may be extremely logical, but this does not excuse the behavior, clearly exposing the lack of relationship skills present.

Most literature would say that cheating husbands will cheat again but there have been marriages that have survived and gotten over this traumatic phase. Very occasionally, these marriages are better for it, throwing out the old broken model and building a brand new relationship from the ashes. What matters is that both the wife and the husband are working together to overcome this. When women find their husbands cheating, most would opt to walk out. Many of those who stay simply live forever with resentment and mistrust. Occasionally, though, with a lot of personal and professional help, a relationship may revive.

protip_icon Did You Know?
Cheating partners often rationalize their behavior. They give several excuses, imagining it is no big deal for their partners. Sometimes people cheat to just feel the thrill of getting caught.

Here are a few ways to help unfaithful husbands and overcome this stage in life.

How Do You Help A Cheating Husband?

How to help your husband stop cheating
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  • Make Sure That He Wants To Change

While this may be a no-brainer, obviously, he should want to change for you to overcome this walk of life. But be sure that he is sorry and understands his mistakes and is willing to change. You cannot be thinking that it’s all fine for years, when in reality, he’s up to his actions again.

  • Talk, Talk, And Talk

Talk – and it cannot be stressed upon enough. Sit down and talk about everything. Find out why everything fell apart, the cause, and the reasoning. Talk about your feelings and share your viewpoints, where you stand, and where you wish to go. It is fine to feel whatever you are feeling – let them know it as well.

  • Listen

Yes, listen! We understand that listening might be the last thing on your mind. After all, you might be thinking, “What else will he say, other than giving excuses?” But listening to both sides of the story will help you find the exact point when things started to change and what led up to it. It may help you overcome this phase in a much better way.

  • Work On Things Together

Work on helping each other. Establish trust and find good faith. Most of all, take that step, that shot in the dark that started your relationship in the first place.

  • Get Professional Help

A good way to overcome this stage in life is to attend therapy, be it individual or couples counseling. Therapy or counseling is a way through which you can let all your worries, feelings, and questions spill out and let your wounds heal with time.

Overcoming this stage of life and helping yourself as a couple may seem to take time. It could feel that this process is moving at a snail’s pace (ridiculously slow). It can work out for the better for many couples, as long as there is remorse and the ability to forgive and move forward.

Getting cheated on by your husband can lower your confidence and cause mental health issues. If you suspect your husband’s behavior has changed, look for some of the signs of a cheating husband mentioned in this article. If you see your husband start to distance himself, develop new interests without you, pick petty fights with you, and show you minimal respect, chances are he has cheated on you. While cheating on you is no excuse whatsoever, talking, listening, and understanding the reason behind his cheating may help you gain more clarity about the next step in your marriage. If required, seek professional help.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do cheaters react when accused?

When you confront cheaters, they typically deny or will gaslight you or act remorseful. They may beg for forgiveness if you have hard proof.

What questions do you ask your husband when he cheated on you?

After finding out that you have been cheated on, you can ask questions to understand why he cheated on you, how long he has been cheating, or if it is the first time he has done so.

Have you noticed a decrease in emotional intimacy?

It is normal for emotions to change after being in a relationship for years. The intense emotions that you experienced at the beginning of your relationship slowly transition into a strong emotional bond as you share your secrets, desires, thoughts, and important aspects of your life with your partner. This bond helps you ride the challenging waves of marriage. However, if your husband does not share his thoughts with you anymore or he seems uninterested in your daily life and problems, it might be possible that he is cheating on you. If you suspect that he is cheating on you, take out some time and have a conversation with him calmly to understand what is going on, instead of accusing him right away. Talking to him may help you learn the root of this issue and help you seek the required help if needed.

Key Takeaways

  • Being cheated on is not only a painful experience, but it can also lower your self-esteem and cause mental distress.
  • If you see your husband distancing himself from you and replying to you sarcastically and rudely, these are signs that your husband might be cheating on you.
  • While we don’t condone cheating, your husband may have cheated on you due to childhood trauma or if he is unhappy with his life.
  • If you want your husband to change, you need to talk to him and understand what motivated him to cheat on you. You may go to couples therapy to work on the issues together and start healing together.

Watch the following video to learn some signs indicating a spouse’s potential affair. Discover six subtle signs, and learn about behavioral changes, and gain insights to address the potential challenges.

Personal Experience: Source

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