A common scenario that seems to be straight out of a novel or a show is cheating or infidelity. This dreaded word can be a nightmare for the best of us. However, only those who have been cheated on can tell how bad it really is.
Cheating is not just going behind the back of someone who has trusted you. It is giving the other person trauma that can cause self-doubt and lead them to depression. It may even render the victim unable to trust or love someone ever again.
While cheating may seem abrupt, there are signs that are displayed before the charade begins. Scroll on to find the signs your husband is cheating on you.
Note: If you have ever wondered ‘Is he cheating?’ these signs may give insight. However, take them with a grain of salt – as none of these are 100 percent foolproof. If your husband has acted a certain way since forever, and you see that in this list, that’s most probably his personality. It does necessarily mean he is cheating on you. But if you suspect your husband of infidelity, here are 30 signs that may indicate it.
In This Article
30 Signs Your Husband Is Cheating
- Your husband has started to distance himself and shows a sort of stiffness that wasn’t there before.
- The times he is with you, it’s body present, mind absent.
- He often claims to be too tired and doesn’t show interest in the couple activities that both of you enjoyed.
- His style of dressing, speaking, or carrying himself have changed and are drastically noticeable.
- There are now petty fights being picked with you for trivial reasons or no reason at all.
- There is a mention of a new female friend, and her name is being brought up very frequently –almost suspiciously frequently.
- He now either gives you everything you have wanted (something he absolutely wouldn’t buy for you before is now waiting for you) or ignores you and stops pampering you.
- He has started to be crude or extremely sarcastic for no reason–to the point that it hurts your feelings badly. (This may just be another excuse to pick a fight and leave the house!)
- He has new sudden interests that you don’t seem to be a part of, or you are sure to not be interested in.
- There is a sudden, pronounced interest in your schedule for the day.
- Working habits that were a staple have suddenly changed.
- He has started to become more and more private about his day.
- He has stopped wearing items that show he’s taken (wedding ring, couples’ pendant) and does not have good reasoning or a reason at all if asked.
- There are credit card charges in his bill that you don’t know about, and he won’t tell you either.
- Those close to him give you cryptic answers, replies, or messages that don’t help at all.
- He now suspects you of infidelity. (Pot, are you calling the kettle black?)
- Affection that was shown normally (hugs, kisses, and pecks) is now few and far between.
- His colleagues and friends have begun acting weird around you (hiding a secret maybe)
- When you show him affection in private or in front of others, you get snubbed off.
- He has started working for long hours, even if he previously disliked it and is now hiding his income from you.
- He has begun to look down upon and criticize you.
- Calls during work, which were very common before, are now being discouraged. He’d rather you don’t call, and when you do, he’s “unavailable”.
- You have started to feel weird and uncomfortable in your relationship – something seems off.
- You have tried to ask him if he may be cheating, but he either acts innocent or talks his way out of giving an answer.
- He shows minimal respect for you when you are out with friends or family.
- Moodiness is now the middle name of your husband.
- He starts arguments purely to blow the issue out of proportion and spend a few hours outside to “cool off.”
- Talks about the future and where you will end up have stopped. Instead, he will do anything to not contemplate what comes next.
- His phone is suddenly off-limits, and numbers are being deleted from his phone very often.
- He, who once used to be most reliable and was sure to resolve your issues, has become irresponsible, reckless, and problematic.
If you are wondering why exactly your husband has cheated, scroll down to the next section for the answer.
Why Do Husbands Cheat?
There are many reasons. Some are really simple, boiling down to power-play, and some are more complex and more psychologically ingrained. The most simple answer would be selfishness. They think they are all that and don’t mind leaving destruction in their wake.
Many things can lead to cheating spouses. Childhood trauma is one of the primary psychologically inclined reasons. If your partner may have gone through emotional abuse as a child or was brought up in an environment where cheating was prominent, he might be prone to cheating. Other reasons include:
- He is not satisfied in his life and doesn’t feel like he is taking charge of it. He feels insignificant compared to the other males in his circle.
- He feels that he is not adequately appreciated.
- He is insecure, maybe because of the income, his wife brings in or because of the social standing the wife has.
- The impact of aging – this boils down to how he looks and feels about himself. The whole cheating plan may just be because he wants to show that even if he’s growing old, he’s still got it.
These, of course, don’t excuse cheating. These may be the reasons why someone cheats and may be extremely logical. When a husband cheats, he may think it is alright, but cheating is not always the answer.
Most literature would say that cheating husbands won’t be treated, or rather cannot be treated. But there have been marriages that have survived and gotten over this traumatic phase. What matters is that both the wife and the husband should work together to overcome this. When people find their husbands cheating, most would opt to walk out. But there are wives who would not want to give up on their marriage. Considering their children’s feelings is what leads to most wives wanting to give the relationship a shot again. Here are a few ways to help unfaithful husbands and overcome this stage in life.
How Do You Help A Cheating Husband?
- Make Sure That He Wants To Change
While this may be a no-brainer, obviously, he should want to change for you to overcome this walk of life. But be sure that he is sorry and understands his mistakes and is willing to change. You cannot be thinking that it’s all fine for years, when in reality, he’s up to his actions again.
- Talk, Talk, And Talk
Talk – and it cannot be stressed upon enough. Sit down and talk about everything. Find out why everything fell apart, the cause, and the reasoning. Talk about your feelings and share your viewpoints, where you stand, and where you wish to go. It is fine to feel whatever you are feeling – let them know it as well.
Yes, listen! We understand that listening might be the last thing on your mind. After all, you might be thinking, “What else will he say, other than giving excuses?” But listening to both sides of the story will help you find the exact point when things started to change and what led up to it. It may help you overcome this phase in a much better way.
- Work On Things Together
Work on helping each other. Establish trust and find good faith. Most of all, take that step, that shot in the dark that started your relationship in the first place.
- Get Professional Help
A good way to overcome this stage in life is to attend therapy, be it individual or couples counseling. Therapy or counseling is a way through which you can let all your worries, feelings, and questions spill out and let your wounds heal with time.
Overcoming this stage of life and helping yourself as a couple may seem to take time. It could feel that this process is moving at a snail’s pace (ridiculously slow). It can work out for the better for many couples, as long as there is remorse and the ability to forgive and move forward.
There is no definitive way to tell if your partner is cheating without catching them red-handed or confronting them. Your husband may display many or all of these signs and still not be cheating. It is important to remember that most signs of infidelity are subtle and become apparent only when the lies and stories don’t add up over a period. Although it is difficult to consider moving on and rebuilding your relationship after a cheating episode, it is not impossible. Whether you want to move on or give your relationship another shot, seek professional help, so you have greater clarity.
- 9 Warning Signs Of An Emotional Affair And What To Do About It
- 6 Signs Your Partner Might Be Having An Emotional Affair
- 30 Obvious Signs Your Marriage Is Coming To An End
- Everything You Need To Know About Micro-Cheating