17 Signs Of Chemistry Between Two People
If you have experienced these signs, you know you have connected with someone deeply.
Known internationally as The Strategic Relationship Consultant™, Stephanie Mintz, MA, LMFT, provides individuals and couples with actionable strategies to reach their relationship goals. She has 8 years of experience and is highly sought-after for her ability to help individuals and couples at all stages of relationships, from dating, living together, pre-engagement, pre-marital, and just married to marriage strengthening/difficulties, brink of divorce, and post-divorce.
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Experience: 4 yearsSneha holds a master’s degree in Applied Linguistics from the University of Hyderabad and a professional Relationship Coach diploma. With over four years of experience in writing, she specializes in crafting insightful articles on relationships and lifestyle.
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You can go for years without feeling it, and then bam! Suddenly, you run into someone new one day, and the sparks fly left, right, and center – the chemistry is undeniable. No relationship works without chemistry and compatibility between the two people involved.
Each of us has our own idea of what chemistry in a relationship means. To some, it could be effortlessly bantering back and forth. To others, it could be the ability to know exactly what the other person is thinking and feeling. Chemistry can be instant, or it can grow over a period. It solely depends on the bond you share with your partner. It is a strong physical, emotional, and psychological connection that two people feel for each other, fostering a strong and lasting bond. Here are some signs that let you know if you and your partner share chemistry. Keep reading.
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Signs Of Chemistry Between Two People
The magnetic connection between two people that binds them together and keeps them drooling over each other is termed chemistry. It can not only be recognized through physical cues but also identified via emotional and psychological signs that we have listed below. Scroll down.
1. Instant Fascination
One of the first things you notice in a person is their appearance. However much you say that you don’t care about a person’s looks, they do play an important role in a relationship. You know you have chemistry if there’s an instant magnetism that pulls you towards them – from the captivating looks or infatuating glances, you keep exchanging. This initial attraction is often associated with physical attractiveness. A study highlights that attractiveness is a key factor in a relationship. It is considered an important characteristic at the beginning of a relationship or initial attraction (1). However, according to Rodolfo Parlati, a professional life coach, chemistry is not just something instant. He says, “Chemistry can manifest in two ways: it can be instant or develop over time, influenced by the individuals involved and the nature of their relationship. Some people feel an immediate spark, while others cultivate a deeper chemistry gradually through shared experiences, emotional closeness, and mutual understanding. Factors like emotional safety, trust, and genuine interest can enhance attraction as time goes on. While instant chemistry might diminish without a solid foundation of compatibility, chemistry that builds over time often results in enduring connections.”
2. Body Language
If there’s one thing, apart from your eyes, that can give away what you feel, it is your body language. Women tend to play with their hair, lick their lips, and cross their legs in an attempt to get your attention. Men, however, get their hands sweaty as they are eager to stay beside you. The deep breaths, colored cheeks, unconsciously mimicking each other, leaning towards the person, and subconsciously touching each other are some signs that give you away regardless of your gender.
3. Intense Eye Contact
When you feel chemistry with someone, you subconsciously keep looking at them – seeing what they are wearing or doing and trying to make eye contact.
But when they catch you looking at them, you shy away. These are instances of intense eye contact shared between the two of you while you are talking or interacting with them. Other telltale signs of chemistry related to the eyes are the dilation of the pupils, raised eyebrows, gazing between the eyes and the lips, and focused, unblinking eye contact. As per a study published by Journal of Cognitive Neuroscience, pupil dilation is a non-verbal cue for attraction. It reveals that an individual’s pupil can dilate subconsciously as a psychological response if they are interested in someone (2).
4. Flirting
Flirting is a part of all relationships. Flirting is a great way to elicit romantic interest in someone. Studies also indicate that laughing or giggling is an effective flirtation tactic deployed by both sexes to get the attention of their partners (3). When you have chemistry with someone, you tend to tone it down to a level where the two of you know you are flirting, but not the people around you. You flirt on texts, but you make sure to never cross a line. The hugs you share are longer than the hugs you would give others. You hug them tighter, squeeze their hands, rub their back, or give a kiss on their cheek. It all feels incredibly intense!
Quick TipCompliments your partner once in a while your flirt with them. However, ensure that it’s genuine and does not sound forced or fake.
5. Always Smiling
You know you have chemistry with someone when you are always smiling – whether they are around you or not. When you are with them, they find reasons to make you smile, even when you don’t want to. You smile as you think about them when they are not around. Even if they are on a different continent, they are able to make you smile. If this is the smile phenomenon, they are ‘the one’ you have been looking for.
6. Noticing Small Things/Changes
Small details are necessary for a beautiful big picture. When you share a special connection with someone, you start noticing things that others fail to notice. From a new hairstyle, new clothing, their favorite things, likes, dislikes, nervous tics to how to calm them down and cheer them up, you notice everything and make an effort to acknowledge them. You make sure to pay close attention to any story/incident they narrate, and you remember them down to a T.
7. Losing Track Of Time
The phrase ‘time flies when you are having fun’ is an embodying characteristic of what happens when you are with this person. Time seems to literally run away, leaving the two of you behind. You share enough common interests that you can talk about anything and everything. There are so many things you want to tell each other.
Nicholette Jeanne, a blogger, shares how she met her lover online before meeting him in reality, and after bonding instantly, they exchanged numbers and got to know each other better. She recounts how they bonded and says, “Being two of the most stuck-up and presumptuous people online, we quickly bonded over prolonged discussions on religion, philosophy, and a lot of pop culture references in between (i).”
8. Tension
Not the stress-inducing type of tension, but a physical tension always seems to exist between you two. When you are attracted to someone, sexual attraction is also a part of the mix. The flirting and teasing consists of sexual innuendos, and you just can’t keep your hands to yourself. There is always a desire for physical closeness which can manifest in the form of kissing, touching, hugging, holding hands, standing or sitting very close to each other.
9. Getting Closer To Each Other
When both of you are always trying to get close to each other in a crowded place, ignoring the world and getting lost in yourselves, it’s a sign that you have chemistry. When you find yourself wanting to spend more and more time together and desiring more and more affection and emotional intimacy when you are together, the chemistry is there.
10. Not Paying Attention To People Around You
Wherever and whenever you are with each other and doing whatever, it feels as if it’s just the two of you who are most important, and you are the only two people in the world. In a world where cell phones are an addiction, if a person makes you want to keep it aside, that’s your ‘The One’ you have been looking for.
11. Pheromones
Pheromones are chemicals that affect or arouse you when you are attracted to someone. They produce a sweet-smelling body odor that is attractive to the opposite sex (4). It can create a sense of heightened feelings and unconscious attraction between two individuals in a relationship. Meaning, if you both are attracted to the way you smell, you have chemistry.
12. Enjoying Comfortable Silences
When you talk, there are endless topics at your disposal. Time seems like it’s fleeting quicker than it’s supposed to. But even when you are not talking, the silence does not seem awkward, but understanding. There are comfortable silences that both of you enjoy in each other’s company.
13. Experiencing Butterflies Or The Whole Damn Zoo
The strange tingly feeling you get when you are excited about something is what people call ‘butterflies in your stomach.’ But it’s more like a whole zoo stampeding in your stomach when you feel chemistry with someone. It can manifest in various forms. You might feel a sudden rush of excitement when they smile at you, just seeing their name pop on your phone might make your heart beat faster, or when they try to come near you can feel nervous mixed with an electric sensation.
14. Looking Forward To Meeting Again
When you both meet, sparks fly, and you are having such an amazing time you can get lost in the moment. And when it’s time for you to get back to the real world, it’s heartbreaking. You cannot wait to meet again and count days until your next meet. If every moment with them feels like experiencing a moment of perfect synergy, this might be a sign you’ve found a kindred connection.
15. Having Playful Banters
Playful bantering includes flirting and teasing. Such non-harmful things are a playful way to get each other to concentrate on what the two of you share. For instance, you can create playful banters by saying, ‘You are pretty good at playing this game, but I know you cannot beat me.’ This can convey that you are not afraid to tease them in a fun way and help you both get an opportunity to laugh and bond together. You can also add a playful banter situation while sharing your previous experiences. Like, ‘Remember, how you tried to beat me at the game that day, sorry to disappoint you, maybe next time you will have a chance. Such, playful talks can help you have an engaging conversation and help keep things fun and relaxed.
16. Teasing Each Other
If you want to get a reaction out of someone, what do you do? You playfully “annoy” them. The little banter you have, the nicknames, when you push each other around, imitate one another, playfully pick on each other, and anything you do to elicit a reaction out of them act as conversation starters. Teasing might hint at a strong rapport between the two people that seems to deepen with every joke. However, be mindful that teasingis supposed to be amusing and affectionate and not to offend or harm one another.
Quick TipKeep it playful and light. Also, avoid teasing your partner about their insecurities. Watch your tone and choice of words so they do not feel bitter.
17. The Anticipation
While all these signs show that you and the person you are interested in have chemistry, you may still have an anxious feeling of whether or not they feel the same. You want to make something more out of the relationship and solve the puzzle so that just the two of you can be together. For example, after spending some time together, at times, you may think about whether your partner enjoyed spending time with you as much as you liked it. Or is my partner truly into me? You might also wonder if they are interested in taking things further. Always remember, if you are feeling something like this, communicate with your partner to gain clarity about these things. It will help you to figure out whether you both are on the same page or not and make a decision accordingly.
The chemistry between two people helps bring them close, be it romantically or platonically. In most cases, the growth of chemistry between people happens naturally. But, if you really like someone and are manifesting a deeper bond with them, you can nurture and build the physical and emotional attraction. Let us see how below.
Key Takeaways
- The instant attraction and that ”spark” you feel with someone is a tell-tale sign of chemistry between you two.
- If you find yourself making intense eye contact, flirting, and always smiling at someone, you probably have good chemistry with them.
- You cannot wait to meet again and count the days until you meet next when you share that special connection with someone.
How To Foster Chemistry In A Relationship
While the chemistry between two people usually comes out naturally, it can be nurtured with love and care. Michael Anderson, a licensed professional counselor is of the opinion that chemistry can be built over time. “Chemistry manifests differently across relationships. Some couples feel an immediate connection – that unmistakable spark that comes from physical attraction. This instant chemistry often appears from unconscious biological responses, and it creates an exciting energy between two people.” Adding to it, he says, “However, deep bonds don’t always start with fireworks – many successful relationships evolve slowly as partners create space for trust, vulnerability and understanding. This slower-building chemistry is rooted in shared values, aligned life goals, and compatible personalities. “
He further says, both partners need to put in effort to develop chemistry. He says, “Building chemistry requires active engagement from both partners – having deep conversations, being physically affectionate to each other, sharing new experiences together, and staying curious about each other can nurture relationships, regardless of whether the initial spark was there. The most successful relationships often blend both types of chemistry: the excitement of attraction with the depth of emotional intimacy.”
Spending a lot of time together and sharing vulnerable moments are a few ways you can bond with a person on a deeper level and feel the developing chemistry. Here are some ways one can foster chemistry in a relationship:
- Engage in meaningful and memorable activities together.
For this, explore new hobbies together, like painting, baking, learning a new language or a sport. You can also explore a new city together, take that much-awaited road trip, visit an amusement park, or go trekking to create memories and have conversations that help you know each other at a better level. If you both want to do something more meaningful, try volunteering at animal shelters and food banks.
Not just that, you can also create your own traditions, say a Saturday night movie ritual or try a new cuisine once a month. These activities can help you create some of the most amazing memories, build shared experiences, and deepen your bond.
- Communicate feelings and doubts freely to avoid misunderstandings.
Aim to create a space and build a sense of security and trust. Try to understand your partner’s perspectives and make sure they feel heard. You can set a time every week to have open discussions and share your feelings, worries, dreams, and aspirations with each other.
While expressing your disappointment and feelings, express it in a way that does not sound like an accusation. For instance, use more ‘I’ statements than ‘You’. Like, instead of saying ‘You always do it to hurt me’ say ‘I always feel bad when you do this.’ Practice empathy, appreciate the positive efforts made by your partner, and always reassure them about your love and commitment to them, especially after discussing some conflicting issues to build a strong foundation of trust, avoid miscommunication, and deepen emotional intimacy.
- Reveal emotional sides and express vulnerable moments openly with each other.
One of the partners can initiate the conversation about vulnerability by sharing their own experience. It can encourage the other partner to open up and share their personal stories too. Make sure to discuss your fears and insecurities without the fear of judgment.
To take the conversation further or get a better understanding of what your partner is trying to convey to you can ask questions like “What makes you feel most vulnerable?” or ” What are your biggest fears in terms of our relationship?”. You can also ask, ‘What can I do to make you feel less vulnerable? Asking these questions can help reveal your emotional sides to each other, foster trust, and help create a lasting chemistry.
- Show genuine interest in one another’s passions and exhibit excitement in each other’s achievements.
Take time to understand what your partner’s interests are like, what they like to do in their free time or what are some hobbies that have influenced their life in a positive way. Such questions can help you get an understanding of what makes them truly happy.
You can also try engaging in their passions or can even make them part of the activities that you like. Say, your partner loves dancing, you can join a dance class together. Or if you are someone who loves gardening, you can take help from your partner in setting the plants up. This can help build mutual admiration for each other. In addition to that make sure to celebrate both of your small and big wins together, be it a promotion at work or publishing a book, ensure to celebrate each other’s passion and achievements.
- Express love openly and frequently and enjoy spending time with each other.
Verbalize your affection and love to your partner. Tell them ‘I love you’ often. You can even get creative and leave these notes in their lunchbox, or wallet, or hide them under their pillow to make them feel loved and valued. You can also show them love by surprising them with their favorite meal or a spontaneous trip.
Another way to express your love is through physical touch. You can hold their hands while they are talking or walking with you, or give them a long hug or a quick kiss on the cheeks or lips before leaving for the office or saying goodnight to them. All these small gestures can help build closeness and intimacy in a natural way.
Can Other People See The Chemistry Between Two People?
Intense romantic chemistry is hard to hide, and sometimes, friends can easily understand a romantic attraction even when the people involved are unaware. People in romantic chemistry usually exude strong signs, which is evident to the people around you. The same may even happen with platonic relationships where the connection may be evident to close acquaintances.
This is evident to others in the way they enjoy each other’s presence, express selfless care, and tend to find reasons to spend time with each other. When love is hard to figure out by others, chemistry can be rather revealing from even simple signs like body language or smiles.
Infographic: 7 Ways To Improve The Chemistry In A Relationship
It is often misconstrued that chemistry between couples is something that is either naturally present or it cannot exist. In reality, chemistry between two individuals may dwindle over time, especially in long-term relationships. Fortunately, it can also be cultivated or improved upon.
Check out the infographic to find some ways to improve the chemistry in a relationship.
Illustration: StyleCraze Design Team
These were some of the signs that tell if two people have chemistry between them. It is important to remember that while chemistry is a good start to a relationship, it alone does not define the relationship. It’s important to note that there is no such thing as one-size-fits-all when it comes to chemistry experienced in relationships. Having said that, there are different personality types and life experiences, which can have different impacts on interpersonal chemistry. Hence, what might work for one relationship may not work for another. The idea here is to understand and respect these differences and foster chemistry by improving communication and showing empathy in the relationship. You can use chemistry as a building block to cement your relationship with shared values, mutual understanding, and maturity. These are perfect signs your relationship will last for a long time.
Frequently Asked Questions
How long does it take to feel the chemistry?
Chemistry has the potential to erupt at almost any time. You may feel it with someone instantly or after spending a few weeks or months with them. Although it could take some time to develop, you should not deny yourself the chance to feel that special sensation. However, when setting expectations, be reasonable. You can only truly know you have chemistry with someone when you can see and respect them for who they are, including their strengths and weaknesses.
What causes intense chemistry with someone?
You can create chemistry through shared values and humor with someone who speaks your love language and makes you feel noticed, heard, and understood. This could help to explain why it feels so good to have chemistry with someone.
How important is chemistry in a romantic relationship?
Chemistry helps build trust, keeps the attraction strong, and forms a lasting commitment in a relationship. It keeps the relationship interesting as there is a curiosity to know more about each other.
Can chemistry between two people fade over time?
It is possible that chemistry between two people might fade over time. Sometimes you may feel that there is nothing more to know about your partner and what once attracted you to them has faded. However, keep in mind that the chemistry can be rekindled by reconnecting with your partner.
How to know if the chemistry between two people is genuine and not just physical attraction?
You are not only physically attracted to that person but also feel an emotional connection with them. You genuinely care about them and want to know more about and spend time with them outside of the bedroom.
Is it possible to have chemistry with someone but not be compatible in a relationship?
Yes, it is possible to have chemistry with someone but not be compatible with them. You might be intensely attracted to someone and feel the ‘spark’ between you but at the same time your personalities, interests, values, and thoughts might not go well together.
Can chemistry between two people be one-sided?
Yes, it is possible to have one-sided chemistry. Sometimes the person you feel a connection to might not feel the same way about you. It might take time and effort on their part to build a connection.
Can chemistry between two people exist without physical attraction?
Yes, it is possible to have chemistry with someone without any physical attraction. It is possible that you share emotional or intellectual chemistry with someone without being attracted to them or experiencing the need to get physical with them.
How does chemistry between two people differ from attraction or infatuation?
Chemistry can be defined as a strong attraction between two people whose minds meet or who have been drawn to each other because of intimacy they experience that goes beyond basic physical attraction or infatuation.
How to maintain chemistry between two people over the long term in a relationship?
Understand your partner’s love language and try to include it in your daily routine to make them feel special and loved. Ask your partner about their day and share yours, send them words of encouragement, and go on dates to spend time together to keep the spark alive. These gestures will help maintain your relationship over the long run.
How can I tell if the chemistry is mutual?
The key indicator of mutual chemistry is when both parties engage with each other with equal energy. If both partners show interest in each other’s life, share about their days, and hope to meet one another again, their bond is going strong and there is chemistry from both sides.
Illustration: Signs Of Chemistry Between Two People
Image: Stable Diffusion/StyleCraze Design Team
Two people sharing a laugh, lingering glances, and subtle touches hint at a firey connection. Watch this video to know the signs of bubbling chemistry between two people.
Personal Experience: Source
StyleCraze's articles are interwoven with authentic personal narratives that provide depth and resonance to our content. Below are the sources of the personal accounts referenced in this article.
i. Equal Parts Fascinating And Fascinatedhttps://thegrammarfuhrerin.wordpress.com/2016/04/13/equal-parts-fascinating-and-fascinated/
References
Articles on StyleCraze are backed by verified information from peer-reviewed and academic research papers, reputed organizations, research institutions, and medical associations to ensure accuracy and relevance. Read our editorial policy to learn more.
- Your Face is Your Fortune: Does Adolescent Attractiveness Predict Intimate Relationships Later in Life?
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5156488/ - Attractiveness in the Eyes: A Possibility of Positive Loop between Transient Pupil Constriction and Facial Attraction
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/344526710_Attractiveness_in_the_Eyes_A_Possibility_of_Positive_Loop_between_Transient_Pupil_Constriction_and_Facial_Attraction - Perceived Effectiveness of Flirtation Tactics: The Effects of sex Mating Context and Individual Differences in US and Norwegian Samples
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10355297/ - Human Pheromones
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK200980/
Read full bio of Stephanie Mintz
Michael Anderson is a Licensed Professional Counselor with a Master's in Counseling Psychology from Colorado Christian University and a B.A.Sc. in Psychology from Liberty University. He has felt a deep calling to this profession since age 15 and has committed himself to guiding others through their personal growth and healing.Michael has gained extensive experience in individual, group, marriage, and family counseling throughout his career. His therapeutic approach integrates various modalities including Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Person-Centered Therapy, Solution-Focused Therapy, and Emotionally Focused Therapy.Originally from Northern California, Michael has called Colorado home for nearly a decade. Outside of his professional life, he enjoys staying active, cheering for Colorado sports teams (especially the Broncos), playing drums, attending church, and spending quality time with his wife and children. Michael currently serves clients at Healing Pines, where he’s known for his grounded presence and genuine dedication to client wellbeing.
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