You can go for years without feeling it, and then bam! Suddenly, you run into someone new one day, and the sparks fly left, right, and center – the chemistry is undeniable. No relationship works without chemistry and compatibility between the two people involved.
Each of us has our own idea of what chemistry in a relationship means. To some, it could be effortlessly bantering back and forth. To others, it could be the ability to know exactly what the other person is thinking and feeling. Chemistry can be instant, or it can grow over a period. It solely depends on the bond you share with your partner. Here are some signs that let you know if you and your partner share chemistry. Keep reading.
In This Article
1. Instant Fascination
One of the first things you notice in a person is their appearance. However much you say that you don’t care about a person’s looks, they do play an important role in a relationship. You know you have chemistry if there’s an instant magnetism that pulls you towards them – from the captivating looks or infatuating glances, you keep exchanging.
2. Body Language
If there’s one thing, apart from your eyes, that can give away what you feel, it is your body language. Women tend to play with their hair, lick their lips, and cross their legs in an attempt to get your attention. Men, however, get their hands sweaty as they are eager to stay beside you. The deep breaths, colored cheeks, unconsciously mimicking each other, leaning towards the person, and subconsciously touching each other are some signs that give you away regardless of your gender.
3. Intense Eye Contact
When you feel chemistry with someone, you subconsciously keep looking at them – seeing what they are wearing or doing and trying to make eye contact. But when they catch you looking at them, you shy away. These are instances of intense eye contact shared between the two of you while you are talking or interacting with them. Other telltale signs of chemistry related to the eyes are the dilation of the pupils, raised eyebrows, gazing between the eyes and the lips, and focused, unblinking eye contact.
Flirting is a part of all relationships. When you have chemistry with someone, you tend to tone it down to a level where the two of you know you are flirting, but not the people around you. You flirt on texts, but you make sure to never cross a line. The hugs you share are longer than the hugs you would give others. You hug them tighter, squeeze their hands, rub their back, or give a kiss on their cheek. It all feels incredibly intense!
Compliments your partner once in a while your flirt with them. However, ensure that it’s genuine and does not sound forced or fake.
5. Always Smiling
You know you have chemistry with someone when you are always smiling – whether they are around you or not. When you are with them, they find reasons to make you smile, even when you don’t want to. You smile as you think about them when they are not around. Even if they are on a different continent, they are able to make you smile. If this is the smile phenomenon, they are ‘the one’ you have been looking for.
6. Noticing Small Things/Changes
Small details are necessary for a beautiful big picture. When you share a special connection with someone, you start noticing things that others fail to notice. From a new hairstyle, new clothing, their favorite things, likes, dislikes, nervous tics to how to calm them down and cheer them up, you notice everything and make an effort to acknowledge them. You make sure to pay close attention to any story/incident they narrate, and you remember them down to a T.
7. Losing Track Of Time
The phrase ‘time flies when you are having fun’ is an embodying characteristic of what happens when you are with this person. Time seems to literally run away, leaving the two of you behind. You share enough common interests that you can talk about anything and everything. There are so many things you want to tell each other.
Nicholette Jeanne, a blogger, shares how she met her lover online before meeting him in reality, and after bonding instantly, they exchanged numbers and got to know each other better. She recounts how they bonded and says, “Being two of the most stuck-up and presumptuous people online, we quickly bonded over prolonged discussions on religion, philosophy, and a lot of pop culture references in between (i).”
Not the stress-inducing type of tension, but a physical tension always seems to exist between you two. When you are attracted to someone, sexual attraction is also a part of the mix. The flirting and teasing consists of sexual innuendos, and you just can’t keep your hands to yourself.
9. Getting Closer To Each Other
When both of you are always trying to get close to each other in a crowded place, ignoring the world and getting lost in yourselves, it’s a sign that you have chemistry. When you find yourself wanting to spend more and more time together and desiring more and more affection and emotional intimacy when you are together, the chemistry is there.
10. Not Paying Attention To People Around You
Wherever and whenever you are with each other and doing whatever, it feels as if it’s just the two of you who are most important, and you are the only two people in the world. In a world where cell phones are an addiction, if a person makes you want to keep it aside, that’s your ‘The One’ you have been looking for.
Pheromones are chemicals that affect or arouse you when you are attracted to someone. They produce a sweet-smelling body odor that is attractive to the opposite sex (1). Meaning, if you both are attracted to the way you smell, you have chemistry.
12. Enjoying Comfortable Silences
When you talk, there are endless topics at your disposal. Time seems like it’s fleeting quicker than it’s supposed to. But even when you are not talking, the silence does not seem awkward, but understanding. There are comfortable silences that both of you enjoy in each other’s company.
13. Experiencing Butterflies Or The Whole Damn Zoo
The strange tingly feeling you get when you are excited about something is what people call ‘butterflies in your stomach.’ But it’s more like a whole zoo stampeding in your stomach when you feel chemistry with someone.
14. Looking Forward To Meeting Again
When you both meet, sparks fly, and you are having such an amazing time you can get lost in the moment. And when it’s time for you to get back to the real world, it’s heartbreaking. You cannot wait to meet again and count days until your next meet. If every moment with them feels like experiencing a moment of perfect synergy, this might be a sign you’ve found a kindred connection.
15. Having Playful Banters
Playful bantering includes flirting and teasing. Such non-harmful things are a playful way to get each other to concentrate on what the two of you share.
16. Teasing Each Other
If you want to get a reaction out of someone, what do you do? You playfully “annoy” them. The little banter you have, the nicknames, when you push each other around, imitate one another, playfully pick on each other, and anything you do to elicit a reaction out of them act as conversation starters. Teasing might hint at a strong rapport between the two people that seems to deepen with every joke. However, be mindful that teasingis supposed to be amusing and affectionate and not to offend or harm one another.
Keep it playful and light. Also, avoid teasing your partner about their insecurities. Watch your tone and choice of words so they do not feel bitter.
17. The Anticipation
While all these signs show that you and the person you are interested in have chemistry, you may still have an anxious feeling of whether or not they feel the same. You want to make something more out of the relationship and solve the puzzle so that just the two of you can be together.
Wondering how other can tell if two people are romantically or platonically together? Then keep reading.
Can Other People See The Chemistry Between Two People?
Intense romantic chemistry is hard to hide, and sometimes, friends can easily understand a romantic attraction even when the people involved are unaware. People in romantic chemistry usually exude strong signs, which is evident to the people around you. The same may even happen with platonic relationships where the connection may be evident to close acquaintances.
This is evident to others in the way they enjoy each other’s presence, express selfless care, and tend to find reasons to spend time with each other. When love is hard to figure out by others, chemistry can be rather revealing from even simple signs like body language or smiles.
Infographic: 7 Ways To Improve The Chemistry In A Relationship
It is often misconstrued that chemistry between couples is something that is either naturally present or it cannot exist. In reality, chemistry between two individuals may dwindle over time, especially in long-term relationships. Fortunately, it can also be cultivated or improved upon.
Check out the infographic to find some ways to improve the chemistry in a relationship.
These were some of the signs that tell if two people have chemistry between them. It is important to remember that while chemistry is a good start to a relationship, it alone does not define the relationship. You can use chemistry as a building block to cement your relationship with shared values, mutual understanding, and maturity for a long-lasting bond.
Frequently Asked Questions
How long does it take to feel the chemistry?
Chemistry has the potential to erupt at almost any time. You may feel it with someone instantly or after spending a few weeks or months with them. Although it could take some time to develop, you should not deny yourself the chance to feel that special sensation. However, when setting expectations, be reasonable. You can only truly know you have chemistry with someone when you can see and respect them for who they are, including their strengths and weaknesses.
What causes intense chemistry with someone?
You can create chemistry through shared values and humor with someone who speaks your love language and makes you feel noticed, heard, and understood. This could help to explain why it feels so good to have chemistry with someone.
How important is chemistry in a romantic relationship?
Chemistry helps build trust, keeps the attraction strong, and forms a lasting commitment in a relationship. It keeps the relationship interesting as there is a curiosity to know more about each other.
Can chemistry between two people fade over time?
It is possible that chemistry between two people might fade over time. Sometimes you may feel that there is nothing more to know about your partner and what once attracted you to them has faded. However, keep in mind that the chemistry can be rekindled by reconnecting with your partner.
How to know if the chemistry between two people is genuine and not just physical attraction?
You are not only physically attracted to that person but also feel emotionally connected with them. You genuinely care about them and want to know more about and spend time with them outside of the bedroom.
Is it possible to have chemistry with someone but not be compatible in a relationship?
Yes, it is possible to have chemistry with someone but not be compatible with them. You might be intensely attracted to someone and feel the ‘spark’ between you but at the same time your personalities, interests, values, and thoughts might not go well together.
Can chemistry between two people be one-sided?
Yes, it is possible to have one-sided chemistry. Sometimes the person you feel a connection to might not feel the same way about you. It might take time and effort on their part to build a connection.
Can chemistry between two people exist without physical attraction?
Yes, it is possible to have chemistry with someone without any physical attraction. It is possible that you share emotional or intellectual chemistry with someone without being attracted to them or experiencing the need to get physical with them.
How does chemistry between two people differ from attraction or infatuation?
Chemistry can be defined as a strong attraction between two people whose minds meet or who have been drawn to each other because of intimacy they experience that goes beyond basic physical attraction or infatuation.
How to maintain chemistry between two people over the long term in a relationship?
Understand your partner’s love language and try to include it in your daily routine to make them feel special and loved. Ask your partner about their day and share yours, send them words of encouragement, and go on dates to spend time together to keep the spark alive. These gestures will help maintain your relationship over the long run.
- The instant attraction and that ”spark” you feel with someone is a tell-tale sign of chemistry between you two.
- If you find yourself making intense eye contact, flirting, and always smiling at someone, you probably have good chemistry with them.
- You cannot wait to meet again and count the days until you meet next when you share that special connection with someone.
Two people sharing a laugh, lingering glances, and subtle touches hint at a firey connection. Watch this video to know the signs of bubbling chemistry between two people.
Personal Experience: Source
i. Equal Parts Fascinating And Fascinated
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- Human Pheromones