How To Handle A Clingy Girlfriend

Written by Harini Natarajan , Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner

Sometimes, our little gestures can go a long way in deciding the fate of our relationship. Showing care and empathy is good, but constant affection and frequent reassurance of love can feel suffocating.

If your girlfriend is exhibiting clingy behavior by demanding your time, energy, or space – often more than you are ready to give – it is going nowhere healthy. Clinginess usually stems from anxiety, fear, or extreme worry rather than control or manipulation. However, it can get challenging to speak up because you may seem uninterested in your girlfriend or hurt her feelings unknowingly.

Well, finding a balance between spending time together and having your space can be difficult, but it is not impossible. Although frustrating at times, the situation can be resolved with patience and honest communication. Read this article to explore the ways you can deal with your clingy girlfriend. Scroll down!

Signs Of A Clingy Girlfriend

Signs Of A Clingy Girlfriend

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1. She Calls, Texts, Or Emails Frequently

A clingy girlfriend may use communication to keep herself updated about you because she feels your entire life must revolve around her. She wants you to talk to her all the time without giving you enough space. This behavior usually comes from insecurity or the expectation that your attention should only be on her. So, she will check up on you multiple times.

Most commonly, the initial response is anger because you may feel she is nosy and overbearing. However, if you both talk about where this frequent communication comes from, it can be resolved easily.

2. She Loses Interest In Other Things

Every time you have plans to go out with your friends, your girlfriend may get upset. She may also get mad at you for not inviting her along or try to guilt-trip you into doing things that are just for the two of you. This is a sure sign that she is clingy and insecure about your relationship.

When a girl feels the need to micromanage her partner, she isn’t sure you love her and are committed enough for a long-term relationship.

3. She Gets Jealous Easily

If you take your female friends out or even talk to them, your clingy girlfriend may become extremely angry. Similarly, when you meet new people she doesn’t know, she may become mad or sad without any reason. She might think that they are trying to steal you away from her.

4. She Is Speeding Up The Relationship Too Quickly

If your girlfriend wants to be together at all times, it may indicate she is clingy. It’s not only because she loves you but also because she is afraid of losing you. She may try to speed up the relationship because she wants to ensure you will be around for long.

If you suggest taking things slowly, she may get mad at first but eventually give in and respect your wishes. The best is to talk about the problem and come up with a middle ground where you both can decide how fast the relationship must proceed.

5. She Is A Try-Hard

A clingy girlfriend will always try her hardest to make the relationship work. For instance, if you don’t want to go shopping with her, she will hold onto your arm tightly and look disappointed. If you don’t want to say “I love you” back, she will make a sad face and ask why.

Every little thing that happens between the two of you is a deal-breaker for her. So, instead of taking this personally or arguing about it, let her know that she has to respect your decisions.

Here are a few tips to deal with a clingy girlfriend in the nicest way possible to let her know you genuinely want to be together.

Sweet Ways To Deal With A Clingy Girlfriend

Sweet Ways To Deal With A Clingy Girlfriend

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1. Don’t Try To Change Her

It’s hard not to get upset when your girlfriend is constantly trying to make you act differently. But it can also get draining for her if she feels like she isn’t allowed an opinion or freedom in the relationship. So, let her know how much you love and appreciate her to soften the blow of not always getting everything you want.

2. Be Upfront With Her

When your girlfriend is clinging to you, it makes sense to give her some time and space. Unfortunately, you may not always be available at her beck and call. To handle this, tell her how you feel. Have an open conversation about why she is so clingy. She will be able to understand where you are coming from and give you more space.

3. Explain The Importance Of Healthy Boundaries

If your girlfriend wants to be around you all the time, she must understand why it’s healthy for you and her to take some time apart. Be sure to let her know that she isn’t a bad girlfriend by wanting to be near you and that there is nothing wrong with making plans with your friends or other activities.

4. Show Love, Trust, And Support

The best way for someone who needs constant reassurance of love is to give it as much as you possibly can. Don’t lie to her about how you feel and remind her that you love her. Let her know what she means to you and show your true feelings. You can also show support through actions instead of words.

By doing these four things, a clingy girlfriend will be able to get rid of her clinginess and feel more confident in herself, knowing that you still love her even when she’s not around.

So, what do you do when you have a clingy girlfriend? You can address your need for time and space. Make her understand the importance of healthy boundaries and that you are uncomfortable when she infiltrates your personal space by tagging along with your near and dear ones.

How To Deal With A Clingy Girlfriend

1. Ask Yourself What You Want

Before you try to get rid of her clinginess, try to understand why your girlfriend is clingy. If you don’t like that your girlfriend wants to be around all the time, let her know this assertively without hurting her feelings. Be firm about it, and she may respect you for being honest with her in the long run.

Instead of blaming your partner for making you uncomfortable at times, express the way you feel. State clearly when you feel overwhelmed by the amount of time you spend together. Mention your concern that you both will get wrapped up so much in each other that the rest of your life will slip away.

2. Keep Things Healthy

If your girlfriend is too clingy and trying to control your actions, you probably need to reevaluate how healthy your relationship is. Start distancing yourself from her without being mean about it. She may get the hint that you are unhappy with her and seek out healthy forms of affection.

If you do not like your girlfriend texting or calling you every hour, talk about cutting down the frequency or decide a specific time for speaking daily. If she expects you to invite her to your friend’s parties or family functions, explain politely that you enjoy spending time with her on date nights and will introduce her to your close people when you feel comfortable.

Setting boundaries isn’t about pushing your girlfriend away, but it will instill a healthy sense of self, so you both can be on the same page as equal individuals.

3. Get Some Space For Yourself

Sometimes, it is nice to have a little more space for yourself without feeling guilty or selfish about it. This can be hard for someone to accept who is clingy. Tell your girlfriend how much your ‘me time’ means to you and why. Make her understand how some alone time helps you zone out and process the day. Additionally, try to schedule both me-time and date nights so that your girlfriend doesn’t feel ignored.

This way, she will realize it’s healthy and important for you both to spend some time apart and enjoy individual interests. She will respect the fact that it’s nothing personal and just a way for you to maintain your individuality.

4. Take A Break

If you feel your girlfriend has been more distant lately and hasn’t been showing affection to you, give her some space for a few weeks before talking to her about it. She might be going through something that has nothing at all to do with you. However, she will appreciate the extra love and attention you offer her when she’s ready to come back.

On the other hand, if you find extreme behaviors and intense clinginess, discuss them with your girlfriend before they get bigger and more serious. You can also renegotiate the boundaries if you identify any red flags or potential conflict. You may consider taking a break if your girlfriend isn’t reciprocating or making an effort to build the relationship on healthy terms.

The Takeaway

Clinginess is not bad, but too much of it can affect the relationship and get unhealthy. If you find yourself in this situation, it is important to talk things out so that both of you feel respected and loved. You can take a break or get a little space to come back together stronger than ever. You and your girlfriend can develop a healthier outlook with open communication, empathy, and clear boundaries.

Expert’s Answers For Readers’ Questions

Is being a clingy girlfriend bad?

No, but depending on how clingy your girlfriend is, it can affect your relationship. You can let her know upfront that you love her but also need some space.

How to not be a clingy girlfriend?

Don’t be afraid to talk things out with your partner because you don’t want to hurt their feelings. Be honest about what makes you react in a certain way and tell them that you appreciate the time you spend together. Reassure that you understand that they sometimes need a little space.

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