Every relationship can be dreamy and affectionate in the starting phase. However, couples may experience relationship problems as time progresses. They may have arguments, disagreements, differences, and other issues. But all these shouldn’t pave a path towards break up or separation. Any red flag in a relationship should not be ignored. Time and effort are the key demands of any relationship to solve differences and maintain a healthy bond.
This article lists 16 most common relationship problems and what you can do to handle them effectively. Continue reading to know more!
In This Article
When Do Relationships Start To Have Problems?
Multiple reasons may contribute to relationship issues. They include:
1. Lack Of Communication
As the relationship grows, couples often start taking each other for granted. At that point, it is easy to slip into the pattern of not prioritizing your relationship. While you may have professional and other priorities, it is your responsibility to ensure both of you spend quality time together. Lack of communication can affect intimacy, and, eventually, both may grow apart.
2. Traumatic Past Experiences
An individual’s family upbringing or past relationships can significantly impact their present and affect relationships. Childhood conflicts, broken families, or surviving a toxic relationship often leave mental scars, leading to decreased emotional and physical intimacy, helplessness, arguments, feelings of anger, and frustration. These can turn things bitter in their present relationships.
3. Financial Issues
Financial issues are one of the major sources of conflict in any relationship. Discussion of debts, spending habits, and any other financial matter often slips into arguments and hampers the relationship. Often, couples chose to avoid discussing financial matters, which eventually worsens matters. Such situations demand a calm and honest discussion on finances and chalking out strategies to strengthen the financial footing.
4. Insecurity About The Future
Though it is essential to ’live in the moment’ during your relationship, it is equally necessary to talk about what your future holds as a couple. Insecurities often turn outward and reflect as negative emotions and behaviors like anger, paranoia, and jealousy. They affect the relationship and other areas of life like your work and career. If you have just started to date, discuss your relationship’s future and set the limits accordingly. Planning the future is essential to avoid insecurities.
5. Behavioral Factors
Sudden behavioral changes may also affect relationships. Aggression, disrespect, or criticism can put a relationship in crisis. Such issues should be addressed immediately. Discuss any behavioral changes you notice in your partner.
These are some of the factors that may trigger a string of relationship issues. In the next section, we have discussed the 15 most common relationship problems.
17 Most Common Relationship Problems
Trust is one of the fundamental pillars of a healthy and fulfilling relationship. And mistrust can engulf the relationship like wildfire. Mistrust often develops if any of you have doubts about your partner’s intentions. Unresolved conflicts and doubts pave the way for suspicion, which leads to anxiety, anger, frustration, Trust is one of the fundamental pillars of a healthy and fulfilling relationship. And mistrust can engulf the relationship like wildfire. Mistrust often develops if any of you have doubts about your partner’s intentions. Unresolved conflicts and doubts pave the way for suspicion,
Consider what affects the safety and security of your relationship. Take a moment to consider what clouded your perceptions. Be open and acknowledge each other’s feelings. Communicate the issues to find out what hampered the rhythm of your relationship. This will help you both work on rebuilding the relationship.
2. Lack Of Appreciation
Humans crave appreciation and positive attention. When you are in a long-term relationship, it is possible to slip into the habit of taking each other for granted and stop appreciating the small things you do. This often leads to situations like arguments over small things, lack of enthusiasm for special occasions, appearing distant, and emotional outbursts.
Appreciate your partner and express your love for them. Talk to your partner and make them feel loved. Appreciate them for being there with you through the highs and lows.
3. Sexual Intimacy
Intimacy in a relationship is a feeling of being close, emotionally connected, and supported. Sexual intimacy is one of the most critical factors in romantic relationships, and intimacy issues can occur from many contributing factors. A lack of emotional connection often translates into a lack of intimacy. It may make you feel disconnected from your partner. Other factors like hectic schedules and children may also impact sexual intimacy and take a toll on your relationship.
Talk to your partner and find out what is affecting the intimacy in your relationship. If it is because of some ongoing issue or conflict, try to resolve it. Take some time out for both of you and do activities together, as couples who play together, stay together! You may even talk to a counselor.
4. Growing Apart
Every couple needs personal space in a relationship. It is not selfish to have time for yourself. However, it is essential to get the balance right. Unnecessary space can often make both of you drift apart. If your partner says they need space, do not hit the panic button immediately.
Talk to them and understand why they need space they might feel stressed at work or havent met their friends for long. Instead of getting defensive, be curious. Finding out the root cause can make it easier for you to understand. Make sure that space does not feel like the distance between you both. Communication is the key.
5. Unrealistic Expectations
You cannot tailor a relationship to your liking. While a healthy relationship depends on efforts and dedication from both, unrealistic expectations can kill that in a moment. For instance, expecting your partner will always be romantic and never argue over anything, and everything will run smoothly these are unrealistic expectations. When your partner fails to meet such expectations, it causes conflict.
To avoid these unrealistic situations, express your expectations explicitly and seek to understand your partners perspective. Do not assume anything, and do not leave your partner to second-guess and deliver on your desires.
Sometimes, you might feel bored in your relationship, which is a common issue. It may happen when you get too comfortable in the relationship. For instance, you may love doing certain activities, and you stick to those most of the time. You may get too much invested in your partner that you lose yourself and neglect your goals. Sometimes, neglecting emotional intimacy may also cause boredom. Eventually, both of you will get tired of each other.
Work with your partner to get rid of boredom. Be honest with each other and break the monotony. You may try surprising your partner, change your environment, go on dates, or create a checklist to prevent boredom.
Around 20% of married couples and up to 70% of unmarried couples engage in extra-marital affairs, the most common cause of divorce (1), (2). From unmet emotional needs and feeling undervalued to sexual dissatisfaction and lack of respect, multiple factors can lead to infidelity.
The best approach to deal with it is to be direct. Analyze what lead to it. Most importantly, both should listen to each other, try to understand the others point of view, and move forward.
Hairam Inwas, a blogger, shares her experience of dealing with a cheating partner and how it impacted her life. She writes, “My ex cheated on me. For a long time, I was in denial about the whole thing and couldn’t bring myself to admit it. The thought of it filled me with shame, disgust and anger.” She continues, “If you’ve outgrown your relationship, communicate it. If you’ve fallen out of love, be honest (i).”
8. Lack Of Responsibility
From forgetting the car keys to never picking up things or sharing daily chores, an irresponsible partner can eventually lead to conflicts in a relationship. In such relationships, one partner often takes the role of the parent and shoulders all responsibilities. However, this is often counterproductive as it gets tiring at some point in time and may cause arguments and fights.
While caring for a partner is normal, parenting them is not. If you have been doing that, stop! Instead of criticizing your partner, assign tasks to them and talk to them to resolve the issue.
9. Repeated Fights
Couple fights are inevitable. However, if your arguments never seem to resolve but recycle, it is a major cause for concern. Your relationship might feel stagnated when you keep fighting about the same issues. Most of the time, such arguments are a cover for some basic differences that you may have, like lack of respect or understanding or different needs.
Go beyond the anger or emotions you are facing at the moment and get to the bottom of the topic of argument to point out the differences. Once you understand the issue, address it with your partner.
10. Being Unsupportive
Nothing is worse than realizing that your partner doesnt seem to be on your side. Life comes with a lot of unpredictability. You never know what awaits your future. When life throws a curveball at you, it is natural for you to expect your partner to be there for you and support you mentally and emotionally. When this support is lacking, anxiety and loneliness start hitting you, which leave an impact on the foundation of your relationship.
Try to understand if this has been a pattern all these while. Talk to them and understand their perspective maybe they have your best interests in mind. Both of you need to be on the same page about certain decisions. If you cannot resolve your differences, talk to a counselor.
11. Excessively Controlling Behaviour
Controlling behavior can be equally or more threatening than physical or sexual violence. Often, people do not realize that they are being controlled. It is often mistaken as being protective, jealous, and old-fashioned. If your partner tries to keep a tab on your activities, criticize you a lot, alienate you from your friends and family, or impose their decisions on you, they are controlling.
Watch out for the red flags and see if those behaviors can be fixed. Proper communication and understanding may help you reach a reasonable conclusion and fix the issue if your partner is willing to work on it.
12. Household Responsibilities
Disagreements over household chores are common in long-term relationships. Responsibilities of doing the dishes, cleaning the trash, or taking care of the garden can often cause chore wars.
Having a mutual agreement over household duties can help both partners.
It often happens that you want to share every detail with your partner. Right from your daily routine to some random feeling or thought you want to bare it all! While it may seem unproblematic initially, issues occur when you expect the same from your partner and they fail to comply. You think they are not invested in the relationship as you are. This overinvolvement may often feel like you are imposing yourself on your partner. This may also give rise to unrealistic expectations and spell trouble.
Discuss it with your partner and set realistic goals. Involve your mind in other activities. However, keep your partner informed so that they do not feel left behind all of a sudden.
14. Keeping Score
Scorecards are terrifying in relationships. If you keep track of every mistake, slip-up, or flaw of your partner and bring it up now and then, it can be problematic for your relationship. This tendency can have two possibilities either you do not accept your partner for their personality, or you want to establish dominance in your relationship. This often stems from unresolved issues that gradually develop into resentment and cause bitterness.
Avoid latching on to an issue. Address conflicts right when they occur, discuss, and find a resolution. Avoid bringing up the issue months or years later.
15. Difference In Core Values
Being in love with someone does not necessarily mean that you will have similar interests and ideologies. Your points of view might differ socially, politically, and religiously. You may not share similar perspectives, and these differences and conflicting values may often trigger arguments.
Although you may have dissimilarities, you may overcome them easily. Talk through your differences and understand each others perspectives. It is not necessary to agree to all acknowledging them is enough.
Couples do find a few bumps on their way to having a healthy relationship. Though these bumps can slow you down a bit, there are always ways to rise above them. Here are a few more tips to avoid issues in relationships.
16. Interference From Past Relationships
You might share a great bond with your ex. Even if things have not worked out, the ex continues to be a part of your life. It may happen when children are involved, and you share a common set of friends, or because of how well you know each other. Your partner may find this problematic. It is because they might feel insecure about your ex still being in the picture and almost like an equal part of your relationship with their active presence. It is disrespectful and may strain your current relationship.
Keeping things cordial with an ex is not at all a problem. However, draw boundaries regarding how much interference you may allow. Discuss with your partner so that it should not stress them out. If your ex interferes in your present relationship by giving you unsolicited relationship advice, manipulating you against your partner, or trying to sabotage your relationship in any other way, this friendship is toxic. Ask them to stop; if they don’t, maintain distance with this ex.
Mild jealousy is normal in any relationship. The problem arises when it gives rise to irrational and destructive thoughts. Look out for signals of unhealthy jealousy, which may include constant doubting, absence of personal boundaries, or constant surveillance. It may be triggered by anxiety or low self-esteem issues and leave the person feeling insecure and paranoid. It is a rather complex emotion that can easily cloud your mind if not handled rationally.
Think rationally. Do not project your insecurities into your relationship. Discuss the triggers with your partner. You can ask yourself if your partner has done something that is solid evidence of betrayal. Believe in the relationship and the love that your partner has for you.
How To Resolve Relationship Issues
1. Stay Connected
Communication is a fundamental part of your relationship. You can resolve any issue just by opening up to each other. This helps create a positive emotional connection with your partner.
2. Build Trust
Trust is the glue that holds you together. It cements your relationship and makes you feel safe even when you are vulnerable. Be transparent about your needs and truthful to your partner. Listen to them and be supportive. Show them that you care, and no matter how the situation turns out, they can always rely on you.
3. Be Prepared For Ups And Downs
Life is not a bed of roses. Both of you might not always be on the same page, and sometimes, either of you might be struggling. Always be open to changes that can be good for maintaining a balance.
4. Keep The Physical Intimacy Alive
Carve out some regular couple time to keep the spark alive in your relationship. Be it a date night or just a few hours at the end of the day, make sure you and your partner have enough time for yourselves.
5. Maintain A Meaningful Emotional Connection
Your partner deserves to feel loved and emotionally fulfilled. It helps develop a sense of acceptance and empathy for each other and makes you feel valued.
Infographic: 8 Common Relationship Mistakes
Recognizing and addressing mistakes is key to maintaining a healthy and thriving partnership. Here are some highlighted common mistakes that couples make and the solutions you can try to overcome them.
Check out the infographic below to know the pitfalls and their solutions to achieve a stronger and more fulfilling relationship.
All relationships come with their quirks, shortcomings, and some unique challenges. However, it is not to say that you cannot eliminate any issues to create a more fulfilling and secure place for your partner and yourself. Relationship issues may stem from behavioral factors, insecurity, codependency, past experiences, power struggles, unresolved conflicts, communication breakdown, or lack of communication. They may manifest in the form of mistrust, emotional distance, infidelity, and other negative outcomes. But you can always check them by actively working towards building trust, maintaining a meaningful emotional connection, and keeping sexual intimacy alive.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is a dead relationship?
A relationship that can’t move forward is known as a dead relationship. You may feel unfulfilled and unhappy and have a persistent nagging feeling.
What is a toxic relationship?
A relationship in which you no longer feel happy and consistently feel drained is a toxic relationship. Also, there is conflict, disrespect, and a lack of cohesiveness in this relationship.
What does an unhealthy relationship look like?
Cheating, jealousy, insecurity, and disrespect are the common signs of an unhealthy relationship.
When should you stop trying in a relationship?
When you feel that there is no respect and trust, you should stop trying in a relationship.
- Discussions on financial matters often slip into arguments and hamper the relationship.
- Overinvolvement may give rise to unrealistic expectations and spell trouble in a relationship.
- Communication helps create a positive emotional connection between partners.
Discover effective strategies to overcome 10 common relationship challenges and foster a fulfilling connection with your partner. Check out this video!
Personal Experience: Source
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