How To Solve Relationship Problems Without Breaking Up

by Oyendrila Kanjilal

Every relationship is unique. When two individuals are romantically involved with each other, they tend to have their arguments, different perspectives, disagreements, highs, and lows. Even the smallest pet peeve you overlooked initially can become an “issue” as the relationship progress. Maintaining a healthy relationship needs a lot of time and effort. That is why you should not ignore the red flags you come across. Not every conflict has to end up in a break-up. You can always talk things out, resolve disputes, and make your relationship thrive.

This article discusses some common relationship problems that may spell trouble and things you can do to fix them. Have a look!

When Do Relationships Start To Have Problems?

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Multiple reasons may contribute to relationship issues. They include:

1. Lack Of Communication

As the relationship grows, couples often start taking each other for granted. At that point, it is easy to slip into the pattern of not prioritizing your relationship. While you may have professional and other priorities, it is your responsibility to ensure both of you spend quality time together. Lack of communication can affect intimacy, and, eventually, both may grow apart.

2. Traumatic Past Experiences

An individual’s family upbringing or past relationships can significantly impact their present and affect relationships. Childhood conflicts, broken families, or surviving a  toxic relationship often leave mental scars, leading to decreased emotional and physical intimacy, helplessness, arguments, feelings of anger, and frustration. These can turn things bitter in their present relationships.

3. Financial Issues

Financial issues are one of the major sources of conflict in any relationship.  Discussion of debts, spending habits, and any other financial matter often slips into arguments and hampers the relationship. Often, couples chose to avoid discussing financial matters, which eventually worsens matters. Such situations demand a calm and honest discussion on finances and chalking out strategies to strengthen the financial footing.

4. Insecurity About The Future

Though it is essential to ‘live in the moment’ during your relationship, it is equally necessary to talk about what your future holds as a couple. Insecurities often turn outward and reflect as negative emotions and behaviors like anger, paranoia, and jealousy. They affect the relationship and other areas of life like your work and career. If you have just started to date, discuss your relationship’s future and set the limits accordingly. Planning the future is essential to avoid insecurities.

5. Behavioral Factors

Sudden behavioral changes may also affect relationships. Aggression, disrespect, or criticism can put a relationship in crisis. Such issues should be addressed immediately. Discuss any behavioral changes you notice in your partner.

These are some of the factors that may trigger a string of relationship issues. In the next section, we have discussed the 15 most common relationship problems.

15 Most Common Relationship Problems

1. Mistrust

Trust is one of the fundamental pillars of a healthy and fulfilling relationship. And mistrust can engulf the relationship like a wildfire. Mistrust often develops if any of you have doubts about your partner’s intentions. Unresolved doubts pave the way for suspicion, which leads to anxiety, anger, frustration, and uneasiness. This may result in both of you growing apart.

The Solution

Consider what affected the safety and security of your relationship. Take a moment to consider what clouded your perceptions. Be open and acknowledge each other’s feelings. Communicate the issues to find out what hampered the rhythm of your relationship. This will help you both work on rebuilding the relationship.

2. Lack Of Appreciation

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Humans crave appreciation and positive attention. When you are in a long-term relationship, it is possible to slip into the habit of taking each other for granted and stop appreciating the small things you do. This often leads to situations like arguments over small things, lack of enthusiasm for special occasions, appearing distant, and emotional outbursts.

The Solution

Appreciate your partner and express your love for them. Talk to your partner and make them feel loved. Appreciate them for being there with you through the highs and lows.

3. Sexual Intimacy

Intimacy in a relationship is a feeling of being close, emotionally connected, and supported. Sexual intimacy is one of the most critical factors in romantic relationships, and intimacy issues can occur from many contributing factors. Lack of emotional connection often translates into a lack of sexual intimacy. It may make you feel disconnected from your partner. Other factors like hectic schedules and children may also impact sexual intimacy and take a toll on your relationship.

The Solution

Talk to your partner and find out what is affecting the intimacy in your relationship. If it is because of some ongoing issue or conflict, try to resolve it. Take some time out for both of you and do activities together, as couples who play together, stay together! You may even talk to a counselor. 

4. Growing Apart

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Every couple needs personal space in a relationship. It is not selfish to have time for yourself. However, it is essential to get the balance right. Unnecessary space can often make both of you drift apart. If your partner says they need space, do not hit the panic button immediately.

The Solution

Talk to them and understand why they need space – they might feel stressed at work or haven’t met their friends for long. Instead of getting defensive, be curious. Finding out the root cause can make it easier for you to understand. Make sure that space does not feel like the distance between you both. Communication is the key.

5. Unrealistic Expectations

You cannot tailor a relationship to your liking. While a healthy relationship depends on efforts and dedication from both, unrealistic expectations can kill that in a moment. For instance, expecting your partner will always be romantic and never argue over anything, and everything will run smoothly – these are unrealistic expectations. When your partner fails to meet such expectations, it causes conflict.

The Solution

To avoid these unrealistic situations, express your expectations explicitly and seek to understand your partner’s perspective. Do not assume anything, and do not leave your partner to second-guess and deliver on your desires.

6. Boredom

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Sometimes, you might feel bored in your relationship, which is a common issue. It may happen when you get too comfortable in the relationship. For instance, you may love doing certain activities, and you stick to those most of the time. You may get too much invested in your partner that you lose yourself and neglect your goals. Sometimes, neglecting emotional intimacy may also cause boredom. Eventually, both of you will get tired of each other.

The Solution

Work with your partner to get rid of boredom. Be honest with each other and break the monotony. You may try surprising your partner, change your environment, go on dates, or create a checklist to prevent boredom.

7. Infidelity

Around 20% of married couples and up to 70% of unmarried couples engage in extra-marital affairs, the most common cause of divorce (1), (2). From unmet emotional needs and feeling undervalued to sexual dissatisfaction and lack of respect, multiple factors can lead to infidelity.

The Solution

The best approach to deal with it is to be direct. Analyze what lead to it. Most importantly, both should listen to each other, try to understand the other’s point of view, and move forward.

8. Lack Of Responsibility

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From forgetting the car keys to never picking up things or sharing daily chores, an irresponsible partner can eventually lead to conflicts in a relationship. In such relationships, one partner often takes the role of the “parent” and shoulders all responsibilities. However, this is often counterproductive as it gets tiring at some point in time and may cause arguments and fights.

The Solution

While caring for a partner is normal, parenting them is not. If you have been doing that, stop! Instead of criticizing your partner, assign tasks to them and talk to them to resolve the issue.

9. Repeated Fights

“Couple fights” are inevitable. However, if your arguments never seem to resolve but recycle, it is a major cause for concern. Your relationship might feel stagnated when you keep fighting about the same issues. Most of the time, such arguments are a cover for some basic differences that you may have, like lack of respect or understanding or different needs.

The Solution

Go beyond the anger or emotions you are facing at the moment and get to the bottom of the topic of argument to point out the differences. Once you understand the issue, address it with your partner.

10. Being Unsupportive

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Nothing is worse than realizing that your partner doesn’t seem to be on your side. Life comes with a lot of unpredictability. You never know what awaits your future. When life throws a curveball at you, it is natural for you to expect your partner to be there for you and support you mentally and emotionally. When this support is lacking, anxiety and loneliness start hitting you, which leave an impact on the foundation of your relationship.

The Solution

Try to understand if this has been a pattern all these while. Talk to them and understand their perspective – maybe they have your best interests in mind. Both of you need to be on the same page about certain decisions. If you cannot resolve your differences, talk to a counselor. 

11. Excessively Controlling Behaviour

Controlling behavior can be equally or more threatening than physical or sexual violence. Often, people do not realize that they are being controlled. It is often mistaken as being protective, jealous, and old-fashioned. If your partner tries to keep a tab on your activities, criticize you a lot, alienate you from your friends and family, or impose their decisions on you, they are controlling.

The Solution

Watch out for the red flags and see if those behaviors can be fixed. Proper communication and understanding may help you reach a reasonable conclusion and fix the issue if your partner is willing to work on it.

12. Household Responsibilities

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Disagreements over household chores are common in long-term relationships. Responsibilities of doing the dishes, cleaning the trash, or taking care of the garden can often cause chore wars.

The Solution

Having a mutual agreement over household duties can help both partners.

13. Overinvolvement

It often happens that you want to share every detail with your partner. Right from your daily routine to some random feeling or thought – you want to bare it all! While it may seem unproblematic initially, issues occur when you expect the same from your partner and they fail to comply. You think they are not invested in the relationship as you are. This overinvolvement may often feel like you are imposing yourself on your partner. This may also give rise to unrealistic expectations and spell trouble.

The Solution

Discuss it with your partner and set realistic goals. Involve your mind in other activities. However, keep your partner informed so that they do not feel left behind all of a sudden.

14. Keeping Score

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Scorecards are terrifying in relationships. If you keep track of every mistake, slip-up, or flaw of your partner and bring it up now and then, it can be problematic for your relationship. This tendency can have two possibilities – either you do not accept your partner for their personality, or you want to establish dominance in your relationship. This often stems from unresolved issues that gradually develop into resentment and cause bitterness.

The Solution

Avoid latching on to an issue. Address conflicts right when they occur, discuss, and find a resolution. Avoid bringing up the issue months or years later.

15. Difference In Core Values

Being in love with someone does not necessarily mean that you will have similar interests and ideologies. Your points of view might differ socially, politically, and religiously. You may not share similar perspectives, and these differences may often trigger arguments.

The Solution

Although you may have dissimilarities, you may overcome them easily. Talk through your differences and understand each other’s perspectives. It is not necessary to agree to all – acknowledging them is enough.

Couples do find a few bumps on their way to having a healthy relationship. Though these bumps can slow you down a bit, there are always ways to rise above them. Here are a few more tips to avoid issues in relationships.

How To Resolve Relationship Issues

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1. Stay Connected

Communication is a fundamental part of your relationship. You can resolve any issue just by opening up to each other. This helps create a positive emotional connection with your partner.

2. Build Trust

Trust is the glue that holds you together. It cements your relationship and makes you feel safe even when you are vulnerable. Be transparent about your needs and truthful to your partner. Listen to them and be supportive. Show them that you care, and no matter how the situation turns out, they can always rely on you.

3. Be Prepared For Ups And Downs

Life is not a bed of roses. Both of you might not always be on the same page, and sometimes, either of you might be struggling. Always be open to changes that can be good for maintaining a balance.

4. Keep The Physical Intimacy Alive

Carve out some regular couple time to keep the spark alive in your relationship. Be it a date night or just a few hours at the end of the day, make sure you and your partner have enough time for yourselves.

5. Maintain A Meaningful Emotional Connection

Your partner deserves to feel loved and emotionally fulfilled. It helps develop a sense of acceptance and empathy for each other and makes you feel valued.

Obstacles in relationships are inevitable. The complications that arise can change the dynamics of your relationship. Take little steps every day to save your relationship. Every problem has a solution when both of you are determined to make the relationship work. If you are struggling with relationship issues, take hints from the article and avoid further complications.

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Oyendrila Kanjilal

Oyendrila Kanjilal has a Master's Degree in English Literature. As a Beauty and Lifestyle writer, she writes about everything that the modern woman needs to know about grooming and self-care. She also reviews makeup, skin care, and lifestyle products to help readers make the best purchase. She is a trained classical dancer and loves binge-watching web series of different genres.
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