It is not always easy to put your ex fully in the past and move on, especially when you are fresh out of a relationship. Healing from such mishaps requires different coping mechanisms, and one of them is rebounding.
Rebounding is when a person who just got out of a relationship tries to put themselves back into another one to meet their emotional needs, such as seeking comfort, validation, love, and so on. Here is an overview of how rebound relationships look like and what you can expect being in one. Such relationships do not usually work, but there is a possibility that they just might! Read till the end to find out how.
Identifying A Rebound Relationship
A rebounding partner can cause a lot of emotional damage, putting your well-being and mental health at stake. The trauma of a rebounding relationship can leave you hollow, hopeless, and broken. On the other hand, your partner might remain unscathed and unbothered.
Here are some signs to look out for to understand if you are someone’s rebound:
1. Last Breakup
Knowing how much time has passed since your partner’s last breakup or relationship can be an indicator in determining if your relationship is based on rebound love or genuine love.
A period of grief follows the end of every relationship. People process their emotions and reflect on the good and bad that they are leaving behind. Those who experience fallouts in their relationship are emotionally vulnerable, fear being left out, and crave immediate validation. So, they find themselves rushing into another relationship as an emotional outlet for their pain.
2. The Ex Factor
A major red flag to identify a rebound relationship is that your partner is still in touch with their ex. If there has been constant communication between them, chances are your partner is trying to fill the void left by their last relationship through you and dumping their feelings on you.
3. Reminiscing The Past
If you find out that your partner finds ways to trace back everything to their previous relationship by bringing up their ex in most conversations, it is safe to say that they are rebounding. It is quite normal if they talk about the ex in a conversation initiated by you, but anything more than that is not a good sign.
4. Commitment Phobia
Rebounders in a relationship are intense with their passion and shower overwhelming love over their partner but chicken out on commitments. Although they are quick enough to form a connection full of feelings, emotions, and togetherness, they tend to run away from committing to something. So, if it is difficult to get them to commit to you, it is a case of rebounding.
5. All They Do Is Jump
A clear sign of rebounding is when a person is jumping from one relationship to another and feels the need to stay invested in some relationship at a given time.
6. Mixed Signals
Clear communication is effective, but this art is not mastered by all – and definitely not by a rebounding partner. They give out mixed signals. A relationship with them would feel passionate and love-filled one day, and the next day, it would be ignorance and rejection.
People with rebounding tendencies are conflicted by their own emotions and suffer due to unhealed pain. This makes it difficult for them to sustain a fulfilling relationship with anyone. Read on to know the stages that a rebound relationship goes through.
How Such Relationships Progress
Rebound relationships are an unhealthy cycle of bouncing from one person to another to heal unhealed wounds. They are an attempt to erase the memories of past relationships and exes by seeking love and affection from other people. Such relationships result in hurting the other party as they are short-lived and hollow.
Here are the five stages every rebound relationship goes through:
1. Short-Lived Passion
The end of a long-term relationship leaves rebounders looking for attraction, love, and comfort. They are not looking for a genuine connection but a distraction to forget the past one. Rebounders accommodate anyone who is on their way in the rush to forget their exes. Once they find someone, they put the new person on a pedestal to adore, love, and carve into perfectionists.
2. Honeymoon Avenue
A rebound relationship starts with a honeymoon phase. This stage is all about having fun and enjoying each other’s company. During this phase, the rebounder showers endless love and attention on the new partner. They try to speed up the natural progression of the relationship and become emotionally invested quite fast.
3. Trouble In Paradise
It does not take long for a rebound relationship to meet the fate of a sinking ship. The rebounder starts comparing their current partner to their ex. Toxic arguments and conflicts ensue. Rebounders tend to lean towards their ex-partners every time their current partner causes even a minor inconvenience. The mind of a rebounder wanders around their ex as they believe them to be their safe haven, further repelling them from their current relationship.
4. Instant Regret
Due to direct comparisons, disappointments, and conflicts, the rebounder feels instant regret and sadness for getting into the new relationship. At this stage, they are fully aware that this relationship is heading to splitsville. As more conflicts arise, the rebounder eventually loses feelings for their partner. The end of this relationship, too, makes them feel emotionally wounded. So, to heal this wound, they again go out to seek love and comfort from other people.
5. Jump Ships
In search of this new love and comfort, the rebounder would either abandon their current relationship and jump onto another or try to make amends with their ex-lover. More often than not, they try with all their might to ignite some sparks of love to seek the attention and love of a new prospective partner. And the cycle of hollow rebound relationships continues.
It is thus evident that throwing oneself into a new relationship, with baggage from the past, is not the best option to escape grief and hurt. Let’s look into other reasons why rebound relationships are probably not a great idea.
Issues With Rebound Relationships
Rebound relationships are characterized by sadness, heartbreak, emotional suffering, and regret. Hence, it is very important to recognize the problems that accompany such relationships and take back the control of your life.
Here are a few reasons why a rebound relationship can be problematic:
- Avoids Healing
Rebound relationships can be a source of unhealed trauma and grief. An individual who has walked out of a relationship is hurt, shocked, and negatively affected by this experience. Not resolving your inner conflicts, neglecting your deeper issues, and not working on your behavior point at another failed relationship (the one with yourself), leaving your heart more vulnerable and hurt.
Distracting yourself from your pain will not let you heal and grow. It will only add to your pain and emotional baggage as you tend to repeat the cycle of hurt by hurting other people’s feelings.
- Makes You Overlook Red Flags
Avoiding the healing process blinds you from seeing the faults and possible red flags in other people. Patience is not a virtue when it comes to forming connections based on rebounds. People who find themselves in rebound relationships usually feel their relationship has progressed quickly in a short period. Ideally, building the foundation of a healthy relationship and knowing a person takes time and effort; rushing this process will only lead to heartbreak.
- Not Ready
It is tough to forget and move on from someone you once held close to your heart. The time, effort, and energy you invested keep you anchored to the relationship. Rebounds do not usually blossom into a happy relationship as you still think and reminisce over your ex.
Taking time to introspect after a negative event like falling out of love is crucial. Inner reflections help you understand what expectations you hold from yourself, how you plan to go about the healing process, and if you are ready to make another commitment of love.
Here are a few signs that you are still in the process of healing and not ready for love:
- You have hopes of your ex-partner getting back with you.
- The urge to talk to them or look them up on social media persists.
- You use love connections as a coping mechanism for loneliness.
- You struggle to articulate your purpose of being in a relationship.
- The concept of relationships is hazy; you have an infatuation with low interests and no common grounds.
- Low Chance Of Success
The chances of a rebound relationship working out are scarce, though it differs individually. Rebound relationships usually end in a matter of a few months, usually for the following reasons:
- You are an inch closer to causing your heart more damage.
- The motivation behind rebound relationships could be resentment.
- It is just a distraction from your last relationship or heartbreak.
- It is an illusion in the name of thrill.
There are multiple reasons why you shouldn’t get into a rebound relationship. However, some people do find solace in the arms of a new lover while getting over a past relationship. Read on to understand how such relationships can help you move on for good.
Pros Of A Rebound Relationship
Everything has its pros and cons, and rebound relationships are no exception to this rule. Here are some positive takeaways you can expect after getting involved in a rebound relationship:
- A rebound can be a good way of shifting your focus from the past to the present.
- It helps you explore and meet different kinds of people.
- It makes it easier to cut ties off with your ex-partner.
- Such a relationship pulls you out of your comfort zone, helping you grow.
- Your self-esteem gets a boost with all the attention you attract from the new partner.
- It helps kill feelings of loneliness and adds adventure to your life.
Rebound relationships have their merits and demerits, and it is an individual choice to get into one or not. However, make sure you have a relationship where communication, love, trust, and forgiveness are dominant. You deserve it and much more.
When you come out of a long-term relationship, it is advisable to spend some time to heal and love yourself. It will give you perspective on love and relationships and help you approach a new connection with a clear mind.
Expert’s Answers For Readers’ Questions
What to do if you are a victim of a rebound relationship?
If you are a victim of a rebound relationship, here are a few things you can do:
• Try not to self-victimize yourself.
• Heal from the trauma.
• Keep your self-love bars high.
• Lean into your fears.
Is it okay to keep in contact with your ex-partner?
It is an individual choice to maintain contact with ex-partner. Even if you keep in touch, make sure it is minimal. Set boundaries that do not threaten your current relationship.
Can you find love in a rebound relationship?
Yes, it is possible to form a meaningful connection and healthy relationship with your partner in a rebound relationship. If you have the desired support, genuine love, and ability to put the past to rest, you can blossom into a better couple.
Is a rebound bad?
The answer to this is subjective. Rebound relationships prove to be healthy for some people, while for others, they are just a coping mechanism to deal with heartaches.
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