Get The Conversation Going: 180 Conversation Starters To Help You Connect


by Ramona Sinha

180 Conversation Starters For Couples

Whether you just started dating someone or are in a long-term relationship, these useful conversation starters will help get the two of you talking.

Getting To Know Your Significant Other

Get The Conversation Going: 180 Conversation Starters To Help You Connect

Shutterstock

Ideal For:

  • People who have just started dating.
  • People who want to know about the other person.
  • People who are not good at small talk.
  • People who are looking to see if the other person is a good match.

Questions You Can Ask

  1. How would you like to spend your vacation?
  1. What does your dream job look like?
  1. Which kind of life experience(s) do you think you missed out on?
  1. What are your hobbies?
  1. When are you the most “you”?
  1. What is the nicest and worst compliment you have ever received?
  1. If you could travel for a month, which place would you choose and why?
  1. What is your favorite memory from school?
  1. How superstitious are you?
  1. What is your favorite food?
  1. How would you generally like to spend your Saturday nights?
  1. What are your top three rules in life that you swear by?
  1. What is your most prized possession?
  1. What is your favorite movie or book, and why?
  1. What is your biggest peeve?
  1. Would you rather live in the city or the suburbs? Why so?
  1. Are you happy with your career?
  1. Where do you see yourself, career-wise, in the next five years?
  1. If you had to pick an alternative career, what would that be? And why?
  1. What are the top-3 things that you are most afraid of?
  1. Do you love to travel? What have your top-3 travel experiences been like?
  1. What is the most embarrassing social situation you have been in?
  1. What gets your adrenaline going? Do you love adventure sports?
  1. How do you handle stress and de-stress yourself?
  1. What is the best advice you have ever received?
  1. What is the most ambitious thing you have tried your hands on?
  1. Describe what a typical day in your life looks like.
  1. If you could learn a talent or a skill right away, what would that be and why?
  1. What is the most rewarding part of your daily routine?
  1. If you had to describe yourself in a sentence, what would you say?

Knowing About Family And Childhood

Get The Conversation Going: 180 Conversation Starters To Help You Connect

Shutterstock

Ideal For:

  • People who want to understand their partner’s family history, values, and upbringing.
  • People who have gone on a couple of dates and see a future with the person.

Questions You Can Ask

  1. What are the three most important turning points that have shaped your family values?
  1. What is your favorite childhood memory with your mom and/or dad?
  1. Do you have siblings? What is your relationship like with them?
  1. What are some of the biggest lessons that you have learned from your parents or siblings?
  1. What do you admire (or dislike) about your family?
  1. What is the best (or worst) thing you think you inherited from your parents?
  1. What ill habits do you think you have carried forward from your childhood?
  1. Did you take family vacations as a child? What is your favorite vacation to date?
  1. How traditionally “normal” (or conservative) is your family?
  1. What are some of your family’s made-up traditions that you follow every year?
  1. How do you want to be different from your parents?
  1. What traits (or habits or values) would you like to imbibe from your parents?
  1. Are you still in touch with your school friends? Who are your best friends?
  1. What is your favorite memory from school? What is the worst memory you can think of?
  1. Which game or sport did you love playing in school?
  1. What irrational fears did you have as a child? Did you ever tell your parents about it? How did they deal with it?
  1. Describe some of your earliest childhood memories.
  1. What do you miss the most about your childhood (or school days)?
  1. Which subjects did you love in school?
  1. Where did you grow up? What was your hometown like?
  1. Do you think you are a different person now than how you were during your formative years? What has changed and how?
  1. What was your favorite pastime during childhood?
  1. What has your college experience been like?
  1. How supportive have your parents been about you undertaking your life’s decisions?
  1. How protective were your parents while growing up?
  1. Describe one of your wildest experiences during school or college.
  1. Which TV shows (or books) did you love the most in your childhood? Did they have an impact on your beliefs?
  1. Describe every member of your family in three words.
  1. What do you love the most about your siblings?
  1. How often do you meet up with your family?

Deep And Personal Questions About Life

Get The Conversation Going: 180 Conversation Starters To Help You Connect

Shutterstock

Ideal For:

  • People who want to connect with their partners on a deeper and intimate level.
  • People who want to understand their partner’s strengths, weaknesses, moments of pride, and so on.
  • People who love to have a heart-to-heart and real conversations instead of superficial talk.

Questions You Can Ask

  1. What makes you dislike a person?
  1. What are your biggest strengths and weaknesses in your opinion?
  1. What about yourself are you most proud of?
  1. What have been some of the biggest trigger points for drastic changes in your life?
  1. Have you ever lost a loved one? How did you deal with their loss? And what is your favorite memory of that person?
  1. Have you ever had a pet and lost it? How did you deal with their loss?
  1. Do you believe in life after death and karma?
  1. What, according to you, brings meaning to life?
  1. Is there something that you wish you could say to people but cannot?
  1. When you are gone, what would you like to be remembered for?
  1. What is a secret that you have never told anyone?
  1. What are the small pleasures of life that you enjoy the most?
  1. What has been the biggest mistake (or screw-up) on your part until now?
  1. What does your “ideal” life look like?
  1. Are you good at reading people?
  1. What was your worst emotional experience like? How did you cope with it?
  1. What is your biggest worry in life? How do you plan to get rid of it?
  1. What has been your biggest struggle in life?
  1. What is the biggest betrayal you have ever endured?
  1. What do you want your obituary to read?
  1. What is the most positive realization you have had about life recently?
  1. What are some odd pearls of wisdom that have stayed with you?
  1. Do you think you know yourself well? If yes, how so? If no, why not?
  1. How forgiving are you? What is the most treasured act of kindness you have done?
  1. Have you had any life-changing experiences? For instance, getting into a car accident.
  1. Can you trust people easily? Why or why not?
  1. What makes you lose faith in humanity when you think about it?
  1. What are some of the biggest biases you think you have? How are you working towards eliminating them?
  1. If you could choose to volunteer for one social cause, what would that be and why?
  1. How do you engage in self-care?

Relationship-Centric Conversation Starters

Get The Conversation Going: 180 Conversation Starters To Help You Connect

Shutterstock

Ideal For:

  • People who want more out of their relationship.
  • People who want to improve their relationship by getting a better understanding of their partner.

Questions You Can Ask

  1. Have you had a bad break up? How did you deal with it?
  1. What is your concept of true love?
  1. What do you think qualifies as “attractive traits” in a person?
  1. What do you think qualifies as “unattractive traits” in a person?
  1. What has your biggest regret been?
  1. In past relationships, what have you often taken for granted?
  1. Describe your perfect date.
  1. How can I help you feel more loved and appreciated?
  1. What do you love (or dislike) the most about our relationship?
  1. What do you worry about the most in our relationship? How can we change it?
  1. Where do you see our relationship in the next five years?
  1. Have you ever been jealous of me talking to someone and have not told me about it? Why not?
  1. What is your favorite memory of us?
  1. What do you think is working (or not working) in our relationship? How can we change it?
  1. Are there any hobbies that you want to try together?
  1. Do you think we spend enough quality “alone time” with each other?
  1. In what ways do you think that we balance each other out?
  1. What, according to you, is a deal-breaker?
  1. Describe your favorite memory of our date or a holiday that we took together?
  1. Do I still manage to surprise you? How so?
  1. What can we learn from each other?
  1. What are some of the biggest challenges that we have gone through together and overcome?
  1. What was your first impression of me?
  1. How would you like to spend your retirement days with me?
  1. What do you think we have in common?
  1. Do you think we have shared goals and are working towards them?
  1. Do you think we have a healthy dependency on each other?
  1. How many children would you like to have? Have you thought about their names?
  1. Do you think having children will affect our married life?
  1. Do you believe in live-in relationships?

Fun Questions And Conversation Starters For Date Nights

Get The Conversation Going: 180 Conversation Starters To Help You Connect

Shutterstock

Ideal For:

  • People who want to have a light conversation and, perhaps, cheer up their partner.
  • People who want to spice up their relationship by unveiling their partner’s fun side.

Questions You Can Ask

  1. What is on your bucket list?
  1. How old were you when you kissed for the first time?
  1. Tell me about your first crush and first date.
  1. If you had to pick a song that reminds you of me, which one would you pick and why?
  1. Say the world is ending. What is the first thing you would do?
  1. Say your house is on fire. What are the five things you would save if you had the time?
  1. If you could have a superpower, what would that be and why?
  1. What is your favorite pizza topping?
  1. Are you a dessert-sharing person?
  1. What is your spirit animal, and why?
  1. What is the most unproductive thing about yourself?
  1. What is the worst pick-up line you have used? Did it work?
  1. What generally popular food do you think is inedible?
  1. Do you have a lucky number? What is it, and why do you consider it to be lucky?
  1. Describe your weirdest dream.
  1. If you had to choose three movies for a movie marathon, which ones would you choose and why?
  1. If you had to cook a dish for me, which one would it be and why?
  1. If you were deserted on an island and could choose a person (apart from me), who would that be?
  1. What is a crazy conspiracy theory that you believe in?
  1. Have you ever had a one-night stand? How was the experience?
  1. What are your biggest turn-ons?
  1. What are your biggest turn-offs?
  1. Do you like exercising?
  1. Have you ever been on a road trip, or would you like to go on one?
  1. Do you genuinely enjoy double dates?
  1. Would you rather go to a fun nightclub or a chill speakeasy bar for a date night?
  1. Do you love board games, and which are the top-3 board games you love to play?
  1. Would you rather spend date night indoors or prefer going to a high-end restaurant?
  1. Do you like shopping and what kind of products do you like to buy?
  1. Do you love going to concerts, or would you rather go to a stand-up comedy show?
  1. Do you prefer celebrating Valentine’s Day?
  1. Are you into opera or theater at all?
  1. Have you ever stalked your ex?
  1. If you had a personal mascot, what would you choose?
  1. If a celebrity had to play you in a movie, who would you choose and why?
  1. If you just won a million dollars, what is the first thing you would do with that money?
  1. If you could meet a celebrity who is dead, who would you choose and why?
  1. What do you get every time you go grocery shopping?
  1. What are you crazily competitive about?
  1. Do you think Tinder works?
  1. What is that one clothing you can never say goodbye to?
  1. What is that one dish or meal that reminds you of home?
  1. Have you played in harmless pranks?
  1. Are you a beach lover, or do you love the mountains?
  1. Which reality TV show would you rather be on?
  1. What is the worst date you have been on?
  1. Have you ever been stood up on a date?
  1. What would be the title of your autobiography?
  1. Do you think you are an old soul? Why so?
  1. What was your first email address?
  1. If you were a social media influencer, what would you be famous for?
  1. Do you think you could survive a zombie apocalypse?
  1. What food best describes your personality?
  1. If you eat only one food for the rest of your life, what would that be?
  1. What is that one crazy thing that you want to try someday?
  1. If you could teleport anywhere in the world, where would that be?
  1. What do you remember about our first date?
  1. Would you rather not clean your bathroom or not do the dishes?
  1. Would you ever go to a movie in your sweats?
  1. What is the most interesting thing about you?

Asking your significant other deep, thought-provoking questions can offer insights into how they think, what makes them tick, and what they dislike (among other things). The idea is to strike a balance and ask the right questions, depending on your partner’s mood, and see how the conversation flows. Pick any of the conversation starters (depending on the situation) from the article and have a great time!

Recommended Articles

Was this article helpful?
The following two tabs change content below.

Ramona Sinha

Ramona is a journalist-turned-content writer. She holds a Master’s degree in English Literature and has been writing for the digital world for over five years. She specializes in writing for Skin Care. She has done a certificate course titled ‘Dermatology: Trip To The Skin’, offered by Novosibirsk State University. She believes that beauty begins with a good skin care regimen and is on a mission to eliminate all toxins from her routine. She helps and guides readers in selecting products and ingredients specific to their skin type/issue. When Ramona is not working, her books and passion for music, good food, and traveling keep her busy.
scorecardresearch