Feeling Like Giving Up On Love? 7 Reasons You Shouldn’t

Amidst all the chaos, even one reason to hold on to love can indeed be more than enough.

Reviewed by Mira Masukawa, Licensed Marriage Family Therapist Mira Masukawa Mira MasukawaLicensed Marriage Family Therapist linkedin_iconinsta_icon
Written by , Integrated MA, Certified Relationship Coach Sneha Tete Integrated MA, Certified Relationship Coach linkedin_icon Experience: 4 years
Edited by , BSc Shatabdi Bhattacharya BSc linkedin_icon Experience: 2.5 years
Fact-checked by , MA Sangita Goel MA linkedin_icon Experience: 2 years
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If you are thinking of giving up on love, wait. Go through this article first. Love is a wonderful feeling which brings two different individuals together. But it isn’t for everyone. Some succeed in love and carry the beautiful memories with them, while others experience bad memories of love and decide to give up on it.

Loving someone is easy, but staying with them in that relationship and seeing all the highs and lows needs tremendous grit and patience. Then, it is natural that some may lack this patience and leave it on the way.

Nothing comes easy in life, not even love. You need to fight for it and win it. When you don’t get a chance to experience it, you should look for it with renewed vigor instead of losing hope. In this article, we explain what it means to give up on love and why you shouldn’t do it. Continue reading to know more.

What Does It Mean To Give Up On Love?

What does it mean to give up on love
Image: Shutterstock

Life often puts us through some unpleasant experiences, especially in matters of the heart. And it is quite natural that you will try to run away from the pain – lock your heart and shut it out. You may become cynical and pessimistic and even back off from a possible relationship or dating.
It is understandable if you don’t want to deal with unmet expectations, drama, betrayal, and disappointments. However, you cannot lock yourself up forever.

Yes, love hurts. It breaks your heart. It causes disappointment. But love also heals. It melts all blockages and opens your heart and soul to all the positive aspects of life. Remember that love is not easy, but it is worth the effort. All you need to do is accept this fact and move on without losing hope. Here are a few reasons why you shouldn’t give up on love.

Reasons For Not Giving Up On Love

1. Not Every Experience Is The Same

Not every relationship or experience is the same, and it is not wise to judge love based on singular or isolated situations. It is daunting to put yourself in vulnerable situations, especially if someone breaks your heart. However, just because you went through a painful experience does not mean you will experience it again. It also does not guarantee that you will not encounter tough situations. All these experiences will make you stronger and help you judge the situation better. Never let these bad experiences get on your mind and doubt yourself.

2. There Is A Right Time For Everything

There is a right time for everything is a reason for not giving up on love
Image: Shutterstock

“Are you ready, are you ready for love?” – remember the song by Elton John? Have you ever asked yourself if you are truly ready for love? To be committed to someone for life? This is a question everyone should ask themselves.

Life is unpredictable, and you never know when you may bump into your soulmate. However, if the timing is not right and if both of you are not ready, it is simply not going to click. When someone is self-aware, they know it right away and let you know their minds. However, others will just keep dragging things, leading to heartbreak.

There’s no alarm clock to let you know the right time. You know it when you feel confident that you are ready, you are mature enough to deal with all situations, and you have learned your lessons from your experiences. You just have to be patient and wait for someone with the same readiness. Remember, it only takes one genuine connection to make you believe in love again.

3. People Love Differently

You might be someone who expresses love through physical affection, while your partner may express it differently. For instance, they may do little things to help you, like taking out the trash or making sure you never run out of milk.

In life, you meet people who love you in different ways. Sometimes, you might not reciprocate or appreciate, or even acknowledge their ways as they do not match your expectations.

Just because you have not found the person who loves you the way you want to does not mean you are not loved. Do not feel disappointed, do not be in despair and feel loneliness. You might face rejection sometimes, and might feel there’s nothing but hopelessness. You might have gone through a tough breakup and don’t know how to handle the separation. But keep in mind, despite all these odds, never give up on love.
Instead, try to understand their language of love.

4. Love Makes You A Happy Person

Love adds value to your life. Being loved and loving others makes us happy. It also keeps us from feeling lonely as we feel more connected to the world around us. When you give up on love, you close your doors to all these wonderful feelings. You acknowledge a non-existing loss, dwell in sadness, despondency and feel dejection. This might make you feel self-centered, and you may become indifferent to that feeling and be skeptical. This shouldn’t be the case – why settle for something less when you deserve the world? Sharing your life with someone makes it much more beautiful and a learning experience. You will never feel alone during the tough times, and you will have someone to share your victories and happiness with.

5. Feelings Are Fickle

Feelings are fickle
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It is normal to feel disappointed after a failed date or relationship. However, you will overcome that soon. Everyone goes through ups and downs in a relationship and, at one point, may feel it’s not working. It takes constant effort from both partners to keep a relationship going. Think of the good times you had together and the memories you created. If you see the good times outweigh the fights or disagreements you had – you will already feel the disappointment evaporating from your mind. Just think about positive things about love and relationship can don’t surrender yourself to this feeling of abandonment, and grief.there’s a whole world out there for you and you just need to keep up with happy thoughts.

6. You Got Together For A Reason

There is a reason you fell in love with a partner. Out of all the people in the world, you found each other. Cherish the positive attributes of each other and work on the negative aspects of the relationship. Remember that nobody is perfect, and we can not burden others with our expectations. One of the most common mistakes we make is to assume things, jump to conclusions.

Instead of giving up on love, figure out how to deal with unmet expectations in a relationship. Instead of being scared of talking about your thoughts, and thinking that speaking your mind might lead to a bad ending. You will always have fear or forlornness, and will be in this rut of melancholy. So instead of giving up on this wonderful thing, talk to your partner, and let them know how you feel to resolve any issues you face.

7. Love Is A Journey And Not A Destination

Love is a journey and not a destination
Image: Shutterstock

” ‘tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all” – Alfred Lord Tennyson

This is so true! Heartbreaks and romantic regrets are tough to handle. However, these make you mature and evolve, and you understand how to handle a relationship and what mistakes to avoid.

Life is not a fairytale, and you may not always end up with your prince charming. All “happily ever afters” are going to be a bumpy ride. In an ideal world, people often outgrow each other. Their priorities change, their dreams and goals may take them on a different life trajectory. Despite their best intentions and efforts, sometimes, relationships just do not work or end up in a marriage. This is no reason to give up on love. Appreciate that you got to experience love and share a part of your life with someone special. No one can predict whether people end up together or not. So, enjoy the journey and don’t focus too much on the destination.

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The fact that love shapes your personality is another reason you shouldn’t give up on it. If you feel like quitting because they aren’t performing to your standards, keep in mind that you have gained some valuable habits from them. You can thus consider your options to decide whether or not leaving the person you love is worthwhile.

Find out in the next section what you should do if you feel like giving up on love.

What To Do When You Feel Like Giving Up On Love

What to do when you feel like giving up on love
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If you are single (or have been through a broken relationship):

1. Figure It Out

Understand what did not work out in your relationship. Trace your steps back and analyze where things went wrong? Betrayal, misunderstandings, higher expectations, communication issues – there can be many reasons.

If you have been dating, figure out what went wrong with the dates. Did they have different expectations or both of you had different life goals? Learn from your experiences. Once you understand and figure out why, you cannot repeat the same mistakes and judge the situation better.

2. Build Yourself

Build yourself when you feel like giving up on love
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Before you find love, it is a good idea to build (or rebuild) yourself. Figure out what you want in life. Are you ready for a long-term commitment? Consider your career goals and dreams – what if a situation comes where you may have to give up on one thing to be with your love? Are you ready for that, or are you mature enough to take the alternate route? What if it means you have to maintain a long-distance relationship? Can you survive that? What about family and your plans?

Love is an important part of life, but other aspects of life are equally important and fulfilling. Prepare yourself to swim and take on the waves before jumping again into the ocean called love.

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Don’t take unnecessary advice. Observe your gut feelings. Trust your instincts rather than letting everyone’s advice on love confuse you. You alone are the only one who can determine your ideal dating strategy.

3. Surround Yourself With A Support System

Confide in a friend or a trusted family member who can support and comfort you.
Put yourself out of the comfort zone. Be open to conversations and people. Often, different perspectives help you get a complete picture and understand the situation.

4. Seek Professional Help

Seek professional help when you feel like giving up on love
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Talk to a therapist. Work out the underlying issues that give you anxiety or stress. Feeling lonely, isolating yourself can lead to depression. A therapist can help you figure out your feelings and suggest ways to deal with them constructively. They can guide you to understand the complexities of a relationship and explain how to handle matters maturely.

If you are in a relationship:

1. Get To The Root Cause

Reevaluate your feelings. Try to understand why you feel this way and the reason. Talk to your partner and discuss how the situation can be sorted before thinking about giving up.

2. Set Clear Expectations

Set clear expectations if you are in a relationship
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Figure out what you want from a relationship. Be clear about your expectations with your partner. This will help both of you avoid any disappointments in the coming days.

3. Do not Assume, Ask

Do not make any assumptions about your feelings or partner or the relationship.

Talk to your partner and be expressive. Let them know how you feel and understand what is going inside their minds. This will clear the air and any misunderstandings you may have and help resolve the issues.

4. Set Your Priorities

Set your priorities
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Prioritize your relationship. Distance often makes you feel alienated. If you have been absorbed in work, take a break. Have rituals in place- like date nights or spend quality time together in other ways. In this way, you don’t feel like love is fading.

5. Work On It

Work on your relationship, and do not just give up. Love may seem magical at first, but it takes a lot of effort from both partners to keep it going. Commitment, sacrifices, adjustments, kindness, and forgiveness are pillars that keep a relationship strong. If both of you communicate and work together, you can rekindle your relationship.

Isis Grace, a blogger, expresses her certainty and commitment to her relationship, emphasizing her desire for a future with her partner and acknowledging the uncertainties that come with it. She declares, “The only thing I know about the future is that we both want each other, we want to build a home together, and make beautiful babies (i).”

Nevertheless, sometimes, no matter what you do, it just does not work out. The following section reveals how to heal from a broken relationship and move on.

How Long Does It Take To Heal And Move On From A Relationship?

Getting over a relationship is a personal journey, and there is no one-size-fits-all timeline. It happens at its own pace, and that is okay. The initial emotional recovery might take months, especially if the connection was deep. You may experience a rollercoaster of emotions, so ups and downs are normal. Give yourself the space to grieve, focus on self-care, and lean on friends or professionals for support. While the intense pain may ease with time, full healing and moving on can be a longer process, sometimes taking years. Be patient with yourself; it is your unique journey, so let natural healing take its course.

Infographic: 11 Songs That Won’t Let You Give Up On Love

Falling in love and being in a relationship is never only smooth sailing. You and your partner will go through many ups and downs. You both might even want to call it quits at times. But, these hardships can make the relationship stronger and pull you both closer.

Check out the below infographic that lists some songs to listen to when things get hard in your relationship. These songs give you a reason to stay strong and believe in each other and the power of love.

11 songs that won't let you give up on love (infographic)

Illustration: StyleCraze Design Team

Love can be as romantic, exciting, passionate, and mushy as they show in the movies and songs, but there is more to love than just the feel-good stuff. Genuine love is not easy. It tests you and rewards you abundantly only when you survive. Sometimes, it asks too much from you. You might feel like giving up on love, but that is when you should hold on to it hard if you really care for the person you love. You need to be more patient and focus on why you chose this love in the first place. Therein lies the answer to why you held on this far and why you should persevere a little more. Trust in your efforts, and it will be worth it!

Frequently Asked Questions

Is it okay to give up on love?

Love comes in all shapes and sizes and is not limited to romantic relationships. So, even if you feel like giving up on romantic relationships you may not be giving up on love. It is okay to want to refrain from entering relationships, but closing off your heart to love can only cause more pain and loneliness.

Why do I push away the person I love?

You may have been hurt in previous relationships and have a fear of intimacy. This may make you want to protect yourself against further heartache and pain and so you push away the one you love.

How do you walk away from someone you love?

The first thing to do is to assess closely why you want to walk away from someone you love. If you absolutely cannot find a reason or way to stay, you begin by having an honest conversation and help each other get closure.

Key Takeaways

  • Loving someone is easy, but staying in love and facing the highs and lows requires immense patience and courage.
  • Remember, every relationship and love is unique. So, never let your past experience ruin your existing bond.
  • Everyone expresses their love in different ways. Try to understand your partner’s love language and pay attention to their little gestures of love.
giving up on love

Image: Stable Diffusion/StyleCraze Design Team

Do you believe that you can not find true love? Check out this video to check for the signs that could mean you have given up on the idea of finding love, even if you do not want to.

Personal Experience: Source

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Mira Masukawa
Mira MasukawaLicensed Marriage Family Therapist
Mira Masukawa is a licensed marriage family therapist with 10 years of experience in grief, trauma, and anxiety cases. She also owns a group practice, San Diego Grief Counseling, and deals with clients through tele-therapy.

Read full bio of Mira Masukawa