How To Apologize To Your Boyfriend

Apologizing to your bae can sometimes be a challenge, but these tips can help.

Reviewed by Nathalie Maggio, LMFT Nathalie Maggio Nathalie MaggioLMFT
Written by , Integrated MA, Certified Relationship Coach Sneha Tete Integrated MA, Certified Relationship Coach Experience: 4 years
Edited by , BSc Shatabdi Bhattacharya BSc linkedin_icon Experience: 2.5 years
Fact-checked by , BSc Reshma Latif BSc linkedin_icon Experience: 5 years
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Mistakes are a very human thing. But ignoring them can wreck relationships. So, If you have somehow messed up a little bit and want to know how to apologize to your boyfriend, we have got you covered. The best way to maintain your bond with your beloved is to acknowledge the wrong with a heartfelt apology. A sincere ‘sorry’ can win back the heart of your boyfriend. But if you need some more words to express your regret, swipe up and explore.

8 Ways To Apologize To Your Boyfriend For Hurting His Feelings

1. Check Your Tone

Check your tone to apologize to your boyfriend
Image: Shutterstock

Words matter, and so do your tone, volume, and body language. The way you apologize can make or break your relationship. So, you need to check your tone while apologizing to your partner. If the apology doesn’t sound sincere, it can complicate the situation and lead to an adverse outcome.

Try not to escalate matters by yelling or talking in a loud, sarcastic tone. It is both annoying and insulting, which does not resolve anything. Even the best words will not be meaningful if delivered with an angry look, rolling eyes, and lack of sincerity. If you do not mean to apologize, it is better to move back rather than make things worse. Remember, your boyfriend can easily identify if you render an empty apology, which can break his trust.

2. Cool Down Before Apologizing

Before apologizing, sort your thoughts and get a clear idea of “how to apologize to my boyfriend”, to avoid any mess up. You may utter words in the heat of the moment that you do not mean. In such a scenario, words like “I am sorry” don’t sound even half good when followed by “you are not trying to understand my views.” So, take some time to cool down and think through your feelings before apologizing. Do not be hasty; otherwise, it can simply mean you want to bypass the tension in your relationship.

3. Say ‘I’m Sorry’ Clearly

Be upfront with your apology. Let him know that you are genuinely sorry for your actions or words. Prepare a proper apology speech or message and do not forget to include the two important words, ‘I’m sorry’. It will let him know that you are apologizing and feel guilty for what you did. Acknowledging and validating his feelings might make him give you a chance to explain your side. Ensure that you do not try to justify your actions and try to blame the situation. This will ensure that misunderstandings do not creep into your relationship and start cracking the foundation that you built with love and trust.

4. Take Responsibility Of Your Actions

Woman apologizing to her partner with accountability
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Make your apology crystal clear and show regret that he has been wronged. Be accountable for your actions, and don’t try to minimize, justify, or share the blame. This is your apology, so focus on what you did wrong.

Get to the point straightway and open up about your remorse and dedication to heal the wound. You can use sentences like “I realize I hurt and misunderstood you”. Add the specifics of what actually hurt him and what you will do to fix the issue or prevent a repeat.

5. Respect And Understand His Feelings

Respect and understand his feelings
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You cannot expect your boyfriend to forgive you immediately and accept your apology on the spot. He might need some time to heal and unload his hurtful feelings. Try to understand why your boyfriend is angry at you and allow him some ‘me’ time to vent his frustration and disappointment.

Don’t demand or expect forgiveness – at least not right away. Otherwise, he may clam up and avoid listening to you. Instead of putting it on him, respect and understand his perspective. Instead of nagging, “please forgive me”, say, “I hope you can forgive me at some point.” Focus on what you can control, and listen patiently if he wants to talk.

6. Do Not Give Excuses

Show that you are sorry and follow through your promises. If you are justifying your behavior, it indicates you are not ready to apologize. Your actions are nothing but a ploy to earn back his good graces rather than true feelings and expressions of regret.

If you have offered a remedy with your apology, be sure you are willing to back it up with devoted, careful actions. Your apology is incomplete without a significant behavior change. Every time you make the same apology and try to normalize such acts, it will become less believable and acceptable for your boyfriend.

7. Discuss The Issue In Detail

Girlfriend communicating with her partner to apologize
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When someone is hurt, their feelings are more profound than a mere reaction to careless words and thoughtless mistakes. For instance, your partner might get mad at you for being late for your date night, but that’s the surface issue. He probably feels you are ignoring him, he has stopped being your priority, or you are not putting enough effort to sustain the relationship.

So, instead of focusing on the apology or mistake, delve deeper into the matter and prioritize his feelings. A meaningless, hollow apology will save face and act as a momentary filler, but a true and sincere apology can be validating and help your boyfriend move on.

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Once you understand the root of your issues, make conscious efforts not to repeat the mistakes. Communicate clearly to avoid any misunderstandings.

8. Work On Your Relationship

Work on your relationship
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It requires a lot of hard work to maintain a healthy relationship. If both of you are fighting continuously where the problems seem endless and difficult to resolve, seek the help of a relationship counselor for better communication. Express how eager you are to work on your relationship and looking forward to fix the issues. Reconciliation will require you to make amends. Your boyfriend will appreciate how you are handling the mistakes and constructively resolving the matter.

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While it is important to empathize with your partner, empathize with yourself. Relay your intentions to your boyfriend, so he knows you did not mean to hurt him.

Infographic: 5 Ways To Apologize To Your Boyfriend For Hurting Him

We all make mistakes throughout our lives. The key to rectifying them is accepting them in the first place. If you have hurt your boyfriend in any way, a genuine apology can help win them back.

We have rounded up the 5 best ways to apologize to your boyfriend for hurting them. Check out the infographic below to know more!

apologize to your boyfriend (infographic)

Illustration: StyleCraze Design Team

Nathalie Maggio, LMFT, says “Making mistakes is part of life and disagreements are a part of any relationship. This does not mean that you are in an unhealthy relationship. If you are experiencing trouble communicating in your relationship, seek out a licensed couple’s therapist. They can support both of you in getting to know each other on a deeper level and provide you with tools for great communication. Contrary to popular belief, therapy is not only for couples who are dealing with big issues in their relationship, and seeking help early on can prepare you to cope with challenges down the line.

Admitting when you are wrong is a significant step on the correct path if you want to keep things pleasant with your boyfriend and is crucial for maintaining a healthy relationship built on honesty, loyalty, commitment, and love. Everyone makes mistakes, but only mature adults know how to accept responsibility for their actions. Your connection will be bulletproof if you seek to improve it. Acknowledge when you are incorrect with humility and express regret for your behavior to your partner. This will aid in maintaining a healthy and loving relationship based on mutual trust and understanding. Develop empathy and compassion and a greater understanding of the other person’s sentiments. Apologize honestly, demonstrate to your boyfriend that you are attempting to resolve the matter, and prevent further misunderstandings.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do you apologize to your boyfriend over text?

Apologizing to your partner over text is tricky since it can be very one-sided. The key is not to bombard your partner with texts. Just state your actions, say sorry, and explain why you did what you did within one or two texts. Give your partner time to process everything instead of messaging them again and again.

What to say to your boyfriend after hurting him?

Apologize to him and explain your reasoning behind your actions. Give them their space and time to process the situation. Speak from your heart and be honest with them.

How can I make my boyfriend forgive me?

You can’t force or make your partner forgive you if you hurt them. You have to give them their space and time. Understand that your partner is a grown adult who can make their own decisions. You hurt them, and every mistake has a consequence. If they want to forgive you, they will reach out to you. But, if they don’t want to forgive you, you need to let them go.

How do I apologize to my insecure boyfriend?

Apologizing to an insecure partner can be tricky. On one hand, you don’t want to offend them. But, on the other hand, apologizing may seem like you are giving into their insecurity even if there is no truth to it. Be honest, explain yourself clearly, and give them time to respond. Let them feel heard.

How do I apologize to my boyfriend who is moody?

Be honest and avoid using harsh words. Think about what you are going to say to him ahead of time. And don’t attack if he is in a bad mood when you apologize. Give him his space to process your apology.

How do I apologize to my boyfriend for my attitude?

Explain the reasoning for your attitude and apologize sincerely from the heart. You may want to show him that you are working on improving your attitude too. If you have anger issues, you may also want to try some anger management techniques.

Key Takeaways

  • Humans make mistakes and cause problems in a relationship. But an apology can mend things in most cases.
  •  While apologizing to your boyfriend, make sure you own your mistake instead of defending it.
  • Do not force your boyfriend to accept your apology. Give him the required time and respond accordingly.

It is helpful to understand the difference between intent and impact. You may not have chosen a behavior because you wanted to hurt your boyfriend. However, if he has communicated that he was bothered by your behavior then your actions were not aligned with their impact. Understanding this often helps us take responsibility for the impact our actions have caused. You may also use this to explain to your boyfriend that you did not mean to hurt him while also taking responsibility for the results your actions have caused.

Learn how to apologize to your boyfriend in 3 easy steps! Check out this video to get tips on how to make it right and restore happiness in your relationship.

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Nathalie Maggio is a licensed marriage and family therapist and EMDR-trained and certified clinical trauma specialist with 5 years of experience. She pursued her Bachelors in Psychology from the University of Wuerzburg, Germany, and MS in Counseling from California State University, Long Beach
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