Getting married is taking a leap into the next stage of your life with someone you love. But, healthy marriage requires a lot more than just a ceremony. It is not, however, rocket science.
While there is no formula for how to be a good husband, there are certain things that you can do to set on the right path. For example, a perfect husband is patient, understanding, and has their partner’s best interests at heart.
Need a little more help? Here are 40 incredibly useful tips on how to be a good husband to your wife!
40 Tips On How To Be A Good Husband
1. Be There For Her
When you are married to someone, being there for them is absolutely essential. Your wife may be going through a distressful or happy period in her life, and the fact that you are there to listen to her is an important sign of a healthy relationship.
2. Really Listen To Her
Just pretending to listen to her is not enough. Ask her questions and try to really understand what is bothering her. Do not scroll on your phone when she is talking to you. Cut your buddy’s call and be present in the conversation.
3. Do Not Be Judgemental Or Give Undue Advice
She might just want someone to give her a kind and patient ear when she talks about things. Judging her experience or giving her advice may make her feel less capable. And in a successful marriage, you do not want her to feel that way.
4. Do Not Snap At Her
We all have bad days. But, the last person you should take it out on is your wife. Whether she is the reason behind your frustration or it is something completely unrelated to your relationship, she does not deserve to be spoken to rudely.
5. Take Her Opinions Seriously
She is an emotionally mature person, and her advice can be extremely valid for your problems. If she is suggesting something, take her seriously and pay heed to her advice. This is a great way of strengthening an already happy marriage.
6. Create A Safe Space For Her
Another thing to remember for being a good husband and building a strong bond with your wife is that she needs to know that she can share the most intimate details of her life with you without expecting a negative reaction from you. Even when she shares something about your marriage, be patient and try to understand where she’s coming from.
7. Tell Her What Annoys You But With Kindness
When you are a married couple, it is easy to find flaws in your partner and criticize them for their behavior. But, do not constantly criticize her. Instead, tell her nicely what you dislike and what you would prefer done differently. While you do this, also encourage her to do the same.
8. Do Not Get Defensive
When she tells you about any of your behaviors that she dislikes, do not try to justify yourself and try to divert the conversation. This is where you need to practice some patience. Listen to her worries calmly and then provide her with an alternative solution.
9. Your Fight Is Not Against Her
It is easy to lose sight of your relationship in a conflict while seeing the other person as your enemy. Remember that it is always the problem versus you and your wife – and not you versus her. You are trying to solve an issue as a team, so do not perceive her as the problem.
10. Take Turns Talking In A Heated Situation
It is not easy to take a step back and be logical when tempers are running high. But, look at it as a negotiation. You present your side of the problem, then give them a chance to talk. Then, like a mature couple, focus on finding a solution together that will work for both of you. Keep your voices low and be considerate of the other person.
11. Know When To Take A Break
Some fights can go on forever without reaching a conclusion. In such situations, ask for a timeout and go for a walk or do something to calm you down. Sometimes, you need to clear your mind and get your perspectives right. Then, come back with a more composed frame of mind.
12. Do Not Shy Away From Apologizing
There’s no shame in being wrong. You are a human being, and you do not always need to be right. Swallow your ego and say sorry to her. It takes a mature person to accept their mistakes, apologize, and work toward the type of relationship you want.
13. Do Not Dredge Up The Past
It is easy to bring up past mistakes and trust issues during an argument. Neither of you should be bringing up things from your individual or shared pasts to make it worse. If you see yourself doing that, stop right away. If your partner does it, you have every right to politely ask them to concentrate on the issue at hand.
14. Make Important Decisions With Their Counsel
A good way to be a good husband is to not make decisions for the both of you. Always consult your partner when making a big decision. You need to know if they are okay with it before you make them do something.
15. Talk About Your Emotions
Be honest about how you are feeling. It is of utmost importance that you do not let your emotions sit around and build up into something toxic. Make your partner your safe space as well, and establish a dynamic where you are heard without judgment and with empathy.
16. Do The Little Things To Make Them Feel Special
Put a bouquet on their work desk. Pick up their favorite food on your way home. Run a warm bath for them when they are stressed out. Show them that you are there for them. Let them know that you still think they are special and that you want to spend quality time with them.
17. Take Care Of Yourself
When you are in a committed relationship, it is easy to forget that you need to take care of yourself. But, your partner wants nothing more than to see you healthy and fit. As you grow older, it becomes more important to exercise and keep your body in good shape. Go for regular health check-ups and watch your diet. Make sure you are staying fit for yourself and your partner!
18. Make An Effort With Your Partner’s Family
In many cultures, your spouse’s family is a part of the deal. And since such marriages tend to be family affairs, you need to try your best to respect and love your partner’s parents as your own.
19. Be Friends With Their Friends
Since your partner is coming to your boy’s outings and mingling with them, you should also try to get along with their group of friends. Hang out at the bottomless brunches or go to that barbecue. Bring out your charming side and sense of humor and try to learn more about the people closest to your partner.
20. Talk To Them About Things That Excite You
Marriage is a lot about compromise, but it is not just that. Find time to talk to your partner about the things that make your eyes go wide and your heart race. Tell them about your favorite things and share your excitement and happiness.
21. Give Your Partner Some Space When They Need It
They need your support, but they might also need time off to rest and recuperate from their hectic life. Whatever their job is, always make sure that you ask them if they need space and give it to them.
22. Do Not Bring Work Back Home
Do not forget to maintain the balance between your personal life and work life. Make it a point to finish your work and come back home without the baggage of deadlines, unless it is unavoidable.
23. Leave Love Notes Around The House
Small notes telling your partner things that remind you of them around the house are extremely romantic. Make it a habit to do this and make them feel special and loved.
24. Do The Things You Did When You Were Dating
Reading together or binge-watching a trashy reality show after a hard day’s work is always a great idea. Do not let marriage ruin simple pleasures. Try to make time for your pre-marriage rituals.
25. Make Time For Some Good, Old Romance
Everyone wants a weekend trip by the beach or a date night at a fancy restaurant. Plan them and make them happen. Keep the love and romance alive amidst the responsibilities of adult life.
26. Help Them Around The House
An easy hack for being a good husband is sharing the emotional labor of a relationship. Be different and do chores around the house to diminish your partner’s stress without them asking you to do so.
27. Have “Dad Days” With Your Kids
A great way to give mommy a break? Take the kids out by yourself. It gives your partner some time for some much-need self-care and allows you to bond with your children one on one!
28. Show Your Appreciation
Tell your partner how much you appreciate the smalls things that they achieve. It doesn’t only have to be a big promotion. Applaud their perfect omelet flip or their seamless parallel parking skills!
29. Do Not Fight In Public
Do not have a fight in public. Even if something bothers you when you are in the company of others, do not call your partner out then and there. There is nothing more humiliating than your spouse making a scene in public.
30. Do Not Bad Mouth Your Partner Behind Their Back, Not Even As A Joke
It is easy to make fun of or complain about your spouse with your buddies but try hard not to participate in this behavior. You never know how it will get back to your spouse and hurt them. And no one really wants to hurt a person that they dearly love and adore.
31. Show Your Loyalty
Make a real effort to show your spouse that you have your eyes only on them. Often in long marriages, it is easy to suspect the other person of being disloyal. Hence, you need to assure your partner that they are the only person in your life.
32. Remember The Important Dates
Birthdays, anniversaries, and those days that are special only to the two of you – set reminders for them and do something to make your spouse feel extra special.
34. Keep Your Promises
Do not promise to go to a movie with them and then cancel last minute. You must keep the small promises to show that you will honor the bigger ones.
35. Hit Them Up Just Because
A great way to be a good husband is to communicate with your partner when you don’t actually need to. Give them a random call, send a romantic text, ask them what they ate for lunch, and tell them that you love them on a random Tuesday afternoon.
36. Continue Flirting
So what if you have been married for a while? The fire of your passion is still burning bright. Flirt with your spouse like it’s the first time you have seen them. Keep the love going.
37. Surprise Them In Bed
It is easy to lose the spark in bed and stick to the mundane routines. So, suggest trying new things and ask your spouse what they would like to experiment with. Like with the flirting, keep the fire going!
38. Be Honest About Your Finances
Be upfront about your financial situation. It is important because your money impacts your partner directly and your family at large. If you are in a tough situation, they might even be able to help you get out of it.
39. Do Not Have Ridiculous Expectations
It is good to have expectations from your marriage and your spouse. But, do not have outlandish ones. Keep them real and communicate them to your spouse so that you both can work toward them.
40. Do Not Let The Marriage Get Old
You will grow old with the person you love. But, do not let this beautiful relationship of yours get old. Keep reinventing the love, keep revisiting the romance, and keep the spark alive!
Making the love of your life feel special is a prerequisite if you want to learn how to be a good husband. Follow these 40 tips, and your partner is sure to love and appreciate you as much as you love and appreciate them!
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