How To Be A Good Wife – Important Qualities That Can Help

Just loving him is not enough – listen to him, support him, and be best friends as well.

Reviewed by Brian Tavizón, Psychologist & Couples Therapist Brian Tavizón Brian TavizónPsychologist & Couples Therapist facebook_iconlinkedin_iconinsta_icon
Written by , Integrated MA, Certified Relationship Coach Sneha Tete Integrated MA, Certified Relationship Coach linkedin_icon Experience: 4 years
Edited by , MA (English) Subhrojyoti Mukherjee MA (English) Experience: 4 years
Fact-checked by , BSc Reshma Latif BSc Experience: 5 years

Anyone about to get married would have wondered how to be a good wife at least once. A relationship works when there is an equal effort from both sides. Understanding each other’s characters, likes, and dislikes is crucial for maintaining a healthy relationship. So, to be a good wife, you need to be willing to know your partner, stand by him, and guide him when he needs you. Both of you should respect the relationship, show commitment and loyalty, and bind the family together. This article will help you understand the qualities that can make you a caring, supporting, and loving wife. Scroll down.

Qualities Of A Good Wife

1. Express Your Love

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Even though you have been married for quite some time and love him deeply, it is crucial to express that often. Expressing your emotions and your love helps the relationship thrive.

You do not need to make grand gestures. Small things like making him his favorite breakfast, a sweet morning message, or a peck on his cheek are enough to show that how much you adore him. You can also take out time for both – go on dates or cook together to keep the spark alive and show him how much you love his company.

2. Be His Best Friend

Try to be your husband’s best friend and be his support system. Best friends stick to each other in all situations. They share their deepest secrets and be partners in crime. There is nothing as pure as the love that they share. When you develop a close friendship and teamwork with your husband, it will strengthen the relationship, help develop true intimacy and bring transparency and lots of positivity. This will develop trust and partnership and let him open up to you and be honest.

3. Celebrate His Achievements

You both work hard to keep your family together, and both of you must celebrate each other’s success and achievements. Work as a team to sail through the tough times, and once it is over, celebrate the milestone. If your husband has made important strides at his workplace and home, acknowledge his efforts and sacrifices, and celebrate his hard work. This will build your spouse’s confidence and encourage him to do better.

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Pop open a champagne bottle or take him out for dinner to celebrate his achievements.

4. Listen To Him

How to be a good wife and listen to him
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You are his lifeline when things get hard. So, offer to listen to him when he is having a bad day at work or is upset about something. Let him talk out his concerns and worries. Listening often helps release the pent-up stress.

Also, do not just listen – try to understand your husband’s perspective. Pay attention to him, and attempt to understand his words. This will assure him that you have got his back whenever he needs it and also help clear his mind.

5. Communicate Effectively

Communication is critical to any relationship. Being open about your needs helps your husband understand your feelings and thoughts. Similarly, initiate communication with your husband to understand him. If there is any issue or conflict, talk to him to understand his perspective with a soft startup, which can be achieved by using “I” statements to positively express what you need without criticism. This is very important because Dr. Gottman’s research shows that the pace and conclusion of a conversation will be set in the first three minutes 96% of the time, so if you begin lashing out at your partner, chances are the outcome will end negatively (1). Avoiding communication can lead to resentment, which may affect marital harmony. Expressing your feelings freely can resolve many misunderstandings.

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Leaving him cute love notes is another sweet way to communicate with him. For instance, you can leave them on the fridge door or on his laptop.

Also, take into consideration that timing is important when you are about to bring up a conflict. For instance, instead of doing it when your husband just arrived from work or is feeling under pressure owing to many responsibilities, look for a moment where he is feeling more relaxed.

6. Be Honest With Him

Honesty and trust are the building blocks of any relationship. Being honest about your feelings and issues strengthens the bond as no problem goes unaddressed. Make a point to discuss everything with your husband before it goes to a point where it may cause a rift or force you to compromise your needs. Honesty builds trust, which will eventually help you form a stable relationship.

7. Give Your Husband Space

Marriage brings a lot of obligations to the family. From paying the bills to taking care of household needs, both of you have things to take care of. However, do not forget that both of you have obligations towards yourself.

Just like you need some “me-time,” allow your husband to decompress and enjoy time by himself. If he had a busy week at work or came back from a stressful family event, allow him to take a break, go somewhere, enjoy his time with his friends without being questioned about his whereabouts.

8. Support His Goals

Be it your husband’s career, hobbies, or anything that he wants to pursue – he will need your support. Ask him how you can help him achieve his goals or help him finish a task. Support him by offering constructive criticism to encourage him to improve and be productive in whatever he is doing.

9. Pick The Right Fights

How to be a good wife and pick the right fights
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Differences are common in any relationship, and you should try to sort them out with patience. Listen to understand the situation and sort out issues without arguments. If your partner is in a bad mood, avoid initiating any arguments that may lead to fights. Try to evaluate the consequences of an argument. Pick your fights wisely and ask yourself – Is it really worth fighting for? Avoid fighting over trivial issues.

10. Respect Him

Mutual respect in a marriage is a sign of trust. It is a much-needed ingredient for a successful relationship. The best marriages are those where the partners respect each other and are best friends. Respect the person he is to encourage him to be a responsible man. Respecting him will strengthen your bond, break the emotional barriers and help him to open up and connect emotionally. Avoid humiliating him or using harsh words to hurt him. Think before you speak. Be compassionate and discuss the issue with him calmly.

11. Tell Your Husband He’s Great In Bed

A healthy sexual relationship is a key factor for a successful and happy marriage. If your husband is not comfortable talking about what he wants, you take the lead and initiate discussion. Talk about your desires and fantasies and try them out. Keep your relationship exciting by getting creative and trying something new with your man in bed. Don’t hesitate to tell him what you want. Also is he has insecurities, be cautious about them. Remind him that you love him no matter what.

12. Show An Interest In His Interests

When you take an interest in your husband’s interest, it shows that you care and are genuinely interested in him. And he will be equally excited to share his interests with you. It will also help you learn more about your husband and provide insights into ways you can encourage him. Moreover, you will get to spend time together, which will definitely make him feel loved.

13. Be Beautiful Inside And Out

Physical appearance does not matter when you are deeply in love. However, it plays a small role in commanding your husband’s attraction. While it’s your inner beauty that matters the most, taking care of your appearance should also be a priority. Pamper yourself – get a new haircut or pick new clothes for yourself. Ask your husband to notice the difference – he will feel happy seeing you vibrate with positive energy.

14. Stop Nagging

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If you realize, we often nag the person we love the most. From that extra piece of cake he is having to not do the laundry for the umpteenth time – you may often find yourself nagging your husband for every little thing. Stop doing that. Nagging can breed negativity into your relationship and make your husband lose interest and get frustrated.

Instead, communicate effectively and clearly what you would like. Stop pointing out what he did wrong. Instead, appreciate his efforts and suggest how he may improve.

15. Accept Him As He Is

Acceptance doesn’t mean mere tolerance. Your partner’s habits, style, and thinking are different from you and unique. For a successful relationship to happen, genuinely accept your partner for who he is. Respect his beliefs and acknowledge your husband’s opinions. Embrace his imperfections but let him know your feelings. If you think your husband needs to change a particular habit, do not force him. Rather, guide him better but never force him to change.

16. Have Some Fun

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Everything is fun and exciting in the beginning. But, somewhere along the way, boredom sets in. Do not leave space for boredom in your relationship. Find out what makes each other happy. Do things together – plan movie nights, long drives, take up a new hobby, go on hikes together – pushing your boundaries to plan fun activities together shows that you prioritize your husband and the relationship. This will improve your bond and create new rituals that will help you navigate in the difficult moments.

17. Give Your Undivided Attention

Your man craves your attention. He will feel connected and appreciated if you give him your full attention. If you have been really busy with work, take some time out, keep your phone down, and spend some time with him. When you are with him, give him all your attention. Asking him how he is doing. Even if you are doing something together like watching a movie or enjoying a coffee date – immerse yourself at that moment and keep distractions away.

18. Be Generous

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Cultivating generosity in your married relationship can help in promoting harmony and positivity, even during hardships. But remember, generosity goes beyond material gifts, it is also about giving your partner adequate attention, and emotional support, and demonstrating kindness and understanding. It is important to actively listen to your husband’s needs and concerns, and to give him a safespace to open up. Also, show empathy to understand things from his perspective as well.

19. Show Resilient Behavior

It is important to create resilience within oneself to keep the married relationship going smoothly.Try to understand the natural flow of life and navigate challenges with grace and strength. Giving up and leaving will always be an easier solution, but staying and fighting for what makes you happy requires greater courage. Try to embrace flexibility and openly communicate with your partner to resolve any issues.

Infographic: 6 Qualities To Adopt To Be A Good Wife

Showering your husband with love may seem enough but there are certain qualities that you can adopt to win the title of a good wife. From providing good support to taking up responsibilities, you can check out this infographic for the top qualities that can make you a better wife and contribute towards a healthy relationship.

6 qualities to adopt to be a good wife (infographic)

Illustration: StyleCraze Design Team

The desire to be an ideal partner for their husband is something every wife carries in their heart. However, they might not always know the right way to go about it. The above ideas of being a good wife can help you direct your efforts in the right direction. For instance, the first and foremost thing you can do is be your husband’s best friend and shower him with love and affection. Furthermore, support and respect him in all possible ways while also showing interest in his endeavors.

Frequently Asked Questions

What do men want in a wife?

A man usually prefers his wife to be understanding, supportive, kind, trustworthy, reliable, frisky, and faithful. In addition, the man should be able to communicate freely with his wife and look for a person who can find happiness in his achievements.

What makes a girl a wife material?

‘Wife material’ is a phrase used to describe the qualities and traits of a woman that would make her a great wife. Though what they seek may vary among men, they may look for common qualities like trust, honesty, great with the man’s family and friends, and supporting them in their ups and downs.

How can I keep the romance alive in my marriage?

To keep the romance alive in your marriage, engage in most of the activities together, be it grocery shopping, household chores, or evening walks. Go screen-free while spending quality time. Hold hands most often, travel together, and plan surprises for your spouse. Communicate clearly if you feel stuck and develop an intimate bond with each other.

How can I balance my role as a wife with other responsibilities?

Maintain clear communication between you and your partner. Draw a clear line between personal and professional life to ensure there is ample quality time. Set boundaries so you don’t feel overwhelmed at times. Share responsibilities and try to understand your partner’s perspective. Try listening to your partner and be their support in difficult times.

Key Takeaways

  • A successful relationship depends on mutual understanding and an equal effort from both partners.
  • Try to understand your partner and stand by him through thick and thin without leaving his hand.
  • Keep all distractions away and enjoy every moment with your partner.

Discover the tips to become a supportive partner to strengthen your marriage. Take a look at this video for 20 qualities that make a good wife. Hit the play button to know more!


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  1. Examining the Effectiveness of Gottman Couple Therapy on Improving Marital Adjustment and Couples’ Intimacy
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