15 Ways To Deal With A Selfish Partner

Written by Harini Natarajan , Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner

A selfish relationship starts with ‘I’, keeping ‘we’ aside. The problem arises when one of you makes sure to meet your partner’s every need, ignoring your requirements. You might feel hopeful investing all your time for your partner, but when you do not get treated the same way, it can hurt and shatter you. This might lead to insecurity, a feeling of being left out, and demotivation in the relationship. If your needs are given less importance in a relationship, check out this article about how to deal with a selfish partner. Keep scrolling.

15 Ways To Deal With A Selfish Partner

1. Talk About It Openly

Holding things up will only create a bigger mess. If your partner ignores your effort and does not take the initiative to make life better for both of you, it needs to be discussed. Open your heart out, express to them how you feel, and what you expect from them. Tell them what is bothering you and taking an emotional toll. Remember to be subtle – do not argue or scream as it may only worsen the situation.

2. Tell Your Partner The Real Deal

If your partner is selfish and focuses primarily on themself, talking about the need to change can make things easy. But do not make it sound imposing. Sit back and have a mature talk with them, explaining how minor changes can improve the relationship. If changes are for good, they are very well appreciated, and there is no harm to tweak things a little to make life better for both of you.

3. Focus On Yourself

If your partner is rigid about things and unwilling to change, take a different path. Focus on self-care and invest more in yourself by devoting time to the things you like. If you are passionate about music or dancing, go for it! Improve your skills, develop new hobbies, and keep yourself occupied. Such activities will keep you motivated and enhance your self-esteem.

4. Follow Turn-Taking Experiment

A turn-taking experiment works best when you already have a solution to your problem before discussing it with your partner. It works by talking, listening, and finding solutions one by one. When one partner talks, the other listens, and the speaker comes up with a favorable solution. This procedure helps understand what both of you expect from each other.

5. Establish Your Worth

The problem aggravates when you let your partner step over or dominate you. Never lose your worth and understand that you do not deserve this treatment. So, pursue your interests and establish a connection with people who value you and your opinions. It will help enhance your self-worth and boost your confidence that you are no less.

6. Show Them The Power Of Two

Talk to your partner about your past experiences and how you managed to get over difficult situations with collaborative efforts. Despite accusing each other of why things went wrong, talk about the achievements of your life that you won over together. It will motivate your partner to handle situations together, no matter how small they are.

7. Call Them To Be Your Helping Hand

If your partner is always busy doing what interests them, speak to them to be your helping hand in what you enjoy. Tell them how you will feel if they accompany you to the things that interest you. Call your partner to help you out with breakfast or getting the kids ready for school. You can make them understand how smooth and manageable things get when done together.

8. Share Responsibilities

If you have accommodated things by yourself since the beginning, your partner might think you do not need any help. Therefore, speak up when you feel things can be done better if they share the responsibilities. If they tell how busy they stay and do not guarantee any help for the responsibilities, ask them to be available as per their convenience.

9. Set Boundaries

Set boundaries for yourself and tell your partner to respect them. Make it clear why you cannot compromise on certain things and why you expect them to regard this. Tell them how much you love them and keep them as your priority. But sometimes, you expect to deserve the same.

10. Treat Them The Same Way

Even if you know things might go haywire, treat them the same way you get treated. Selfish people are narcissistic and tend to get offended when you treat them the same way they treat you. Make them understand how you feel when you do not see them making any efforts for you. It might help them realize the importance of caring for their partner and sharing responsibilities.

11. Explain How It Is Impacting The Relationship

Tell your partner how their selfish nature is affecting the relationship. This can help change their behavior and make them start putting efforts lest things fall apart. However, do not expect them to change overnight. They might show interest gradually and get involved in a better manner.

12. Move On Silently

Even after several attempts and endless efforts, if your selfish partner did not change, the best you can do is move on. It will be difficult, but you will not have to spend the rest of your life dealing with such issues. Also, if a person cannot change now, they can never change in the future. Therefore, decide wisely and move on silently.

Life can get miserable if you have to deal with a selfish partner. Go vocal about the situation and do not keep things in your heart. Follow the tips listed above and make all the attempts to save your relationship. However, if things still do not fall in place, think about parting ways for each other’s betterment.

Recommended Articles

Was this article helpful?
The following two tabs change content below.