How To Deal With A Narcissistic Husband

Written by Harini Natarajan , Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner

If you are married to a narcissistic person, you may have a problematic relationship. Narcissists typically do not perceive their behavior as a problem. They are self-centered, lack empathy, and seem to need constant attention and admiration. This narcissist personality disorder (NPD) is a mental health condition that may require diagnosis.

That said, if you are married to a narcissistic man, how can you deal with him? Here, we have listed 11 important tips that can help you deal with your narcissistic husband.

11 Best Tips To Deal With A Narcissistic Husband

1. Have An Open Talk With Your Husband

Narcissists focus mostly on themselves and can’t deal well with criticism. They always want their domination in conversations. So, make sure to maintain a level head when you converse. Most times, even your clear points can be disregarded by your partner. But try to explain to him, in a convincing tone, how his behavior could be hurting you. Avoid accusing and try not to shout at your husband. Having open communication is an effective mode to convey your emotions to your man. If your man is willing to change his behavior, tell him what is good for your relationship.

2. Find Out The Triggers For His Behavior

Try to recognize the roots of his behavior. Finding out his insecurities that trigger his behavior can help you deal with your narcissist husband. Consult his relatives or friends who can help you deal with his problem. They might know how long he has been suffering from this mentality. Also, you will be able to know his past. Individuals with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) have insecurity problems, which often trigger their negative behavior. If you observe this tendency in recent times, try to find out what could have caused his behavior. Narcissists belittle you to feel better about themselves. Once you find out how to recognize these triggers, you can avoid or be prepared for the struggles that may cause.

3. Know His True Behavior

Narcissistic people are very charming and magnetic. They are good at creating self-flattering images and grand ideas. These people are addicted to feeling very special about themselves, and they lie, cheat, and do whatever they want to get their high. If you question your partner about his behavior, he may question your authority about the same. But knowing his true behavior can help you arrive at an ideal solution.

4. Make A Decision

People with NPD have low self-esteem and will not take any responsibility for their mistakes. Also, it is not easy for a narcissist to understand their behavior and how they are hurting others. At times, you may feel it is difficult to change him – and the only person’s behavior that you can control is your own. But remember – this doesn’t mean that you can’t have a good marriage; it just may look different than what you might have expected. Your encouraging words, care, and counseling sessions can help him think positively.

5. Stop Your Focus On Him

Narcissistic individuals have attention-seeking behavior. They like to keep themselves in the spotlight. No matter how many sacrifices you do to make him feel happy, your husband may not recognize it and your actions may never be enough for him. You might soon find that your opinions don’t matter. So, stop your focus on him. Spend some time for yourself to pursue your goals and desires. This will make you happier.

6. Speak Up For Yourself

People with narcissistic behavior enjoy watching others suffer. But if you are facing this issue with your husband, try not to show annoyance. Handle the situation calmly and gently. Speak up for yourself and tell him how his words and behavior are impacting your life. Also, be consistent and clear about what kind of behavior you are expecting from him. But be prepared for the fact that he may not listen to you or he may even ignore you. When he continues to ignore you and doesn’t show any care for you, you can walk away from the relationship.

7. Work On Your Self-Esteem

Self-esteem influences your decisions and choices. Low self-esteem reduces the quality of life in many ways. Narcissists see themselves as superiors and struggle with being empathetic with others. They insult other people and tend to knock them down. Emotional and verbal abuse from your husband could be signs of low self-esteem. If you are not careful, such behavior can hurt your self-esteem too. Hence, it is important to work on your mental health and self-esteem.

8. Establish Clear Boundaries

Setting clear boundaries makes any relationship healthy. Narcissistic individuals are often self-absorbed and want to take lead in the relationship. Your husband may not like it when you spend time with your friends. Narcissists also won’t apologize for their mistakes. Also, they have little sense of personal space. Hence, you must set clear boundaries and tell your husband to respect them. Tell your husband what is not acceptable to you and why the consequences should matter to him. Narcissistic individuals only start thinking about things when they are affected.

9. Check Yourself

Dealing with a narcissistic husband who has no concern about other’s state of mind can take a toll on your health. If you are trying to make your relationship healthy but are unhappy with the results, get in touch with your friends and family. Speak to them and get help from them. Talking to them will build your confidence. Also, consult a doctor in case you have any anxiety issues.

10. Keep A Support System

Spending an excessive amount of time with someone with NPD can drain you out. It can be common for a narcissist to isolate their spouse from their family and friends. Your husband might want all of your attention and may become jealous if you are spending time with other people. When you are not connecting with a support system, it can become easier for your husband to take control of your life. Hence, it is important to have individuals around you who are offering you the right support.

11. Take Him For Counseling

Narcissists have low self-esteem and feelings of inadequacy, and often need professional intervention. But many narcissists are against taking counseling, so need to be wary about when you may want to suggest it. Making it seem like a shared problem may make your husband agree to seek counseling. Take responsibility for your actions instead of pushing it all on him.

Conclusion

When you marry a narcissist, your life will completely be taken over by your partner. Read the warning signs at the earliest and try to keep clear boundaries. Most important of all, remember that you deserve love and happiness too. While it may feel a little discouraging to know that your husband’s behavior might not change, you sure can notice improvements in your relationship by following the tips listed in this post.

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