Rejection can come in many forms. You can get rejected from your dream university or your dream job. A romantic interest may reject you and your feelings. What is common is the excruciating pain that you feel afterward. The pain and hurt may make you avoid all your life goals and provoke you to adopt unhealthy ways.
If not dealt properly, the pain of rejection may also push you to the brink of depression. Hence, it is important to learn how to handle and deal with rejection in a healthy, non-destructive way. Want to know how? Keep reading.
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Why Does Being Rejected Hurt So Much?
When you get rejected, you go through a lot of pain. This pain has an evolutionary reason behind it. Thanks to evolution, our brain takes rejection as serious as physical pain – and our ancestors are to blame for this.
As we all know, our ancestors belonged to the hunter-gatherer community where social acceptance was crucial for a person’s survival. In such a time, getting rejected by one’s community was considered a real threat to their very life.
This warning sign of getting rejected was picked up by our brains. It helped our ancestors in identifying and changing the behavior that drove people to reject us. With a million years of evolution, this fear and pain of rejection are still instilled in our brains. That’s the reason we feel so much pain when we face rejection.
But no matter how painful the rejection, you can handle it better by following certain tips. Read on.
How To Handle Rejection
1. Accepting Rejection
It can be really difficult to accept rejection. You might feel like all your hopes have been shattered. The rejection hurts a lot. It may take you through a roller coaster of emotions. You might also feel that avoiding or denying these feelings may help you get over your rejection. However, the best way to overcome this pain is accepting it and allowing yourself to feel what you are feeling. This process will also help you move on.
2. Practice Self-Care
When we face rejection, our first response is always to shut down and bottle up our emotions. Apart from feeling hurt, we might feel angry too. We often let these emotions out by screaming or hitting something or by hurting ourselves. Though these actions may make us feel relaxed for the moment, they won’t help us overcome the actual pain.
You can instead focus on letting out your emotions in a healthy way, by exercising or meditating. These activities will also give you ample time to think about your situation clearly. Additionally, you may take long baths, dance, cook, or listen to music to practice self-care.
3. Practice Self-Affirmations
It is common to ponder and think about all your negative qualities when you are rejected. However, focusing your thoughts on your negative aspects will not help you overcome the pain.
You can instead focus on your positive behaviors and habits. Note them down and read them over and over again every day. Do this especially when you are feeling low and start doubting yourself.
4. Spend Time With People Who Matter
Rejection is hard, especially if it is in a romantic relationship. Such rejection may also develop doubt in your mind about your abilities and qualities. These rejections may also make you feel like someone who is hard to love.
However, you have to remember that rejection from one person doesn’t decide if you are lovable or not. Spend time with your family and friends who respect and love you no matter what and who truly care about you.
5. Be Kind To Yourself
What most of us do after facing rejection is focus on our negative aspects. We tend to have negative and unkind conversations with ourselves. This is when it is important to stay kind to ourselves and avoid the emotional damage we may cause to ourselves. We have to remember that although the rejection was not in our hands, being kind and compassionate to ourselves is.
6. Examine The Reason Behind Your Rejection
Sometimes, we wallow in the rejection so much that we forget to examine what had caused it. Examining why you got rejected can prove beneficial. Getting an idea of why you were rejected can give you enough room to improve yourself.
7. Focus On The Future
Once you get rejected, there’s nothing you can do to change it. The pain of rejection should never stop you from thinking and working towards your future plans. You should keep reminding yourself that every successful person on the planet had faced some form of rejection.
Following these tips can help you overcome the pain of rejection. That said, you also must refrain from doing certain things.
What Not To Do After Rejection
1. Talk To Yourself In A Negative Way
When you talk to yourself after facing rejection, the conversation will always turn negative and focus on your bad qualities. However, you have to remember to stop these negative thoughts and conversations. Instead, ask yourself if what you are feeling is logical or justified. Chances are, the rational part of your brain will help you stop your negative thoughts.
2. Do Not Get Obsessed
If it is a romantic rejection, it is very easy for many to get obsessed with the person who rejected you. However, this behavior will just show how poor emotional boundaries you maintain in your life. So, avoid getting too obsessed with anyone who rejects you. Instead, respect their decision and remove yourself from their life (and them from your life).
3. Don’t Be Rude
The anger we experience when we get rejected may make us commit or say horrible things to the person rejecting us. However, never let yourself get lost in the moment and insult the other person. Instead, accept the rejection and learn from it.
We know – the pain of rejection is too much to handle. However, you should remember that this pain is only temporary and if you try harder, you can grow through this phase and emerge stronger. It may be a slow process, but do not hold onto this pain. We believe the tips mentioned in this post will help you find your way through the pain and hurt you are experiencing.
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