Getting over a breakup is hard, and moving forward seems impossible. While you try to bury your feelings deep within, you seek ways to forget your ex. Remembering all the commitments and plans you made now feels like looking at a pile of broken glass. You probably feel like the only one dealing with this kind of sadness and are upset with yourself for being so naive. We have all been in your shoes.
Breakups are difficult to handle. Broken hearts take time to heal, ex-partners are difficult to forget, and the pain can feel unbearable. But we can tell you this: it does get easier after a while. You can still be the loving person you used to be even after a painful breakup. Here are 25 tips on how to get over your ex! Scroll down to know more!
In This Article
1. Give Yourself Some Time To Heal
The biggest mistake people make when trying to move on is indulging in self-destructive activities like aggressive partying, uncontrolled drinking, and crazy makeovers. Though there is no point sulking over what you may have already done, do not label your feelings as irrational emotions. Instead, allow yourself to open up and have a good cry or two to release those negative emotions.
Give yourself time to heal. Start working out and eating healthy. The positive impact it has on your mental and physical health is almost magical. Also, go back to or find new hobbies and other parts of life that interest you now that you have the me-time in your busy schedule that you had been putting into the relationship. Spending time with yourself will help you analyze your frame of mind and accelerate the healing process.
2. Do Not Stalk Him
After a breakup, you may probably keep wondering what your ex is doing at any given time of the day. It is too often at the back of your mind.
With the help of social media, it is extremely easy to find out about their whereabouts. But, stalking him will only make you sadder, aggravate your emotions, and make you anxious. The best way to deal with a breakup is to steer clear of their social media accounts. The goal is to resist the urge to check their daily social activity. A level of consistency will help you slowly move on.
3. Do Not Spend Time Reliving Those Memories
What you had was wonderful. It is good – even healthy – to cherish the good memories. Your attachment behavior might make you revisit the memories time and again. However, that is not a good idea when you have just gotten out of a romantic relationship.
When it comes to a toxic relationship, remembering the good bits will only keep you trapped in the past and inhibit your personal growth.
Tracy Luk, a blogger, shares her experience of breaking up with her partner and what she went through in her personal blog. She thinks that letting go with gratitude is the way, stating, “Make space for who you are today, unbound from attachments of your old self. KonMari people from your life. Thank them — and then let go. Not in the opposite order as I tragically learned (i).”
4. Try To See The Reality
While the dark gray clouds cover your head with sadness, try to find the silver lining. Your frame of mind is not at its best but what seems like the end of the world is just one person exiting your life.
Things may look like they are at their worst and you may feel many negative emotions, but since you see that the relationship is no longer good, nor happy, reason with yourself and know that you can do better. A difficult experience creates the opportunity for you to build a better, happier future.
5. Learn Your Lesson From The Ending
Everyone makes mistakes, and it is very important to learn from them in order to prevent them from reoccurring.
People who come into your life will teach you lessons, and a person who wants to leave will leave no matter what you do to hold them back. You may give a hundred percent of yourself to someone, but be careful to never lose yourself completely to them.
6. Do Not Find Excuses To Meet Them Again
Resisting the urge to “accidentally” bump into your ex can be challenging. You may think that a single meeting can get you both back together. However, this is your wake-up time and you need to realize what could not be mended in the full course of a relationship can never be settled in just one meeting. Those with an anxious attachment style (one of the four attachment styles as per the attachment theory) often have a hard time dealing with a breakup. However, they should try to overcome the heartache and understand that getting back together with an ex might result in an unstable relationship and loss of identity.
A relationship is all about effort from both sides, and after it has died a painful death, there is no point trying to resuscitate it.
7. Do Not Be Harsh On Yourself
There are many reasons for your breakup. Face the fact that the person you are the most furious with is yourself. You are so angry with yourself for trusting someone so much, for being stupid enough not to understand their intentions.
You may want to find ways to punish yourself by indulging in self-destructive behaviors (like excessive drinking). However, you need to remember that everyone makes mistakes. You are more powerful than you know.
8. Do Not Try To Be Friends If You Still Have Feelings For Them
If you are trying to be friends with your ex, just to keep seeing them after the breakup, it will hurt you more than you may think. Trying to turn things around will continue to put you on the wrong path. Friendship is a very special relationship and should not be used for ulterior motives.
You could be cordial or even buddies in the future, probably when you are both in happier and healthier places. However, it would be best if you didn’t attempt to enter their lives at this time.
9. Know What You Are Capable Of
You realize what you are actually made of only when you get the opportunity to prove yourself. Let the breakup help you grow, discover your inner self, and explore your potential. You will be surprised to know what you are capable of when you start living life to the fullest. Spending time with yourself will help you improve your potential. Keep your mind busy and engage in doing constructive things rather than thinking about your ex. This will inch you to success in life.
10. Try To Stay Positive And Indulge In A Healthy Activity
A situation like a breakup can make you weak at heart and unstable in mind, making you unable to consider what is best for yourself. However, realizing that you will be able to take control, little by little, can help you start a new beginning. Try to stay away from any negative thoughts that creep into your mind. Practice yoga, exercise regularly, and eat healthy to keep your mind busy and fresh for a new beginning.
This graph indicates that individuals involved in some form of physical activity, such as walking, running, or other recreational activities appeared to have a positive impact on their mental health. The difference between the mental health of exercisers and non-exercisers is significant.
Positive Impact Of Exercise On Mental HealthSource: Impact Of Exercise On Mental Health
Being alone at home may cause stress and anxiety. How about doing something you like? Shopping might be your way to go! Make a list of all the things you have always wanted to buy and pamper yourself. It could act as a reward for staying strong after the breakup. Or you may be someone who would find peace in volunteering and helping others. Take time out of your busy schedule and indulge yourself.
12. Re-Decorate Your Space
One thing is sure, an idle mind will not be helpful. Only allow yourself some limited moments to think about the memories you shared with your ex. And then move on to what you can do that is helpful for your frame of mind. Maybe it’s time to redecorate your room/home to create a new environment that you do not associate with your ex. Or maybe you pack up all the gifts and stuff you have and put them in storage or give away.
13. Go Out And See The World
Now is the perfect time to plan that solo trip you have always longed for. Traveling alone to new destinations can be the change of scenery your mind needs. It will make you realize that you don’t need anyone to make you happy except yourself.
14. Get Rid Of The Things That Remind You Of Him
Maybe you’ve saved the bus ticket from the first time you both traveled together, or his shirt that you snuggled with when you missed him. Well, now is the perfect time to let go of not only his belongings but also the memories you keep revisiting.
15. Cut All Communication Lines
If you think messaging him once in a while or drunk dialing him will do no harm, you are mistaken. Staying in touch with him will keep you trapped in the past and never let you move on. It is also a good idea to block his number and social media account and delete all his e-mails and texts.
16. Avoid Asking About Them From Friends
Once you cut off all contact with your ex, you may try to get information about him from your mutual friends or social circle. Resist that urge. The idea is to stay away from him – physically, emotionally, and mentally.
17. Realize That Reel Life And Real Life Are Very Different
The entertainment industry makes us build castles in the air. Reel life and real life are often confused, and we expect things in our real life to function as efficiently as in the books and movies.
When your life and – and more importantly, your romantic relationship – does not work out that way, you tend to get depressed. It is important, especially after a breakup, to keep a realistic perspective and accept that sometimes things just don’t work out, and that’s okay! Because the ending of a bad relationship creates the space for new and better things to grow.
18. Spend Time With Your Family And Friends
Being alone after a breakup can lead to depression, which is why socializing is important. In times like these, you stop trusting people, even your family and friends. However, this is the perfect time to reconnect with the people in your life who will actually stick around no matter what. Spending time with your family and close friends can help you clear your mind and push the dark clouds away. Analyzing valid reasons for the breakup and talking about them to your friends, close ones, or a relationship therapist might help you move on from your ex. Try to avoid your common friends until you feel you are ready to talk to them without wanting to know about your ex.
19. Take Time Out For Your Hobbies
Now is the ideal time to do all the things you did not have time for earlier because you were busy with your significant other. Be it pottery, softball, or coding – it will do you a whole lot of good to finally take time out of your daily schedule for yourself and execute the projects you have always had on your mind. Schedule small daily goals and work on achieving them.
20. Accept It As A Part Of Your Life
This may feel like the end of the world, but know that you will rise again. A breakup can make you lose hope and retreat into your shell, never wanting to move on. You might spend nights thinking about what went wrong. However, it’s time to accept that heartbreak is a part of life. No matter how bad a situation feels today, nothing lasts forever. Eventually, everything goes back to normal. You just need to stay strong and withstand the storm for a period of time.
21. Enjoy Your Own Company
Just because you love spending time with someone does not mean that you stop spending quality time doing the things that you love. It is very important to pamper yourself and respect your free time. Charity begins at home, and loving yourself creates the foundation for loving others.
22. Do Not Hurt Yourself In Any Way
Some people may express their anger by cutting themselves or consuming copious amounts of alcohol or drugs. But no such pain will help the pain of your heartbreak. Hurting yourself will ultimately damage your self-esteem.
In times like these, you need positive affirmations. You need to remember that you are an independent spirit who does not need to depend on anyone except yourself to survive. Being in a toxic relationship does not change who you are or diminish your worth. Believe in yourself and gather the strength to start afresh.
23. Forgive Yourself And Forget Your Ex
It is easy to say forgive and forget, especially when it comes to the person who broke your trust and dreams. However, forgiving your ex might be the key to letting go completely and being happy on your own. It may hurt you to see him with someone else and the memory of you and him together might plague your thoughts. But, forgiveness will give you inner peace. If you just focus on your life and create a better future for yourself, you will end up wishing only happiness for your ex. It will also help you find closure and you won’t even be bothered if your paths cross again!
A deeply emotional experience like that cannot be overcome by forgetting. What you need to do is stop looking for valid reasons to justify your breakup and let go of the past. You must state what happened openly, either on a piece of paper, diary, or through self-talk.
24. Do Not Date Until You Are Ready
Trying to move on forcefully may result in dating the wrong person again. Love is special, and a rebound should not be mistaken for love. The day you are able to love yourself for the person you are and forgive your ex is the day that you can open up your heart to future relationships, love again, and start dating.
25. Fall In Love With Yourself
Know that you are special, and a healthy relationship with yourself will make it easier to move forward in life. Make up for all the time that you ignored yourself to pay attention to your ex and pamper yourself to the fullest. Take time out for yourself from your daily schedule and do things that make you happy.
A necessary and crucial part of being human is making mistakes and learning from them. You stumbled. Now, get up, dust off, get on track, and start moving again toward your goal of self-development. You deserve every happiness, and if someone is unable to make you feel loved, do it yourself. Fall in love with yourself all over again.
Infographic: Fun Things To Do With Friends To Forget Your Ex
Friends are the greatest gifts in your life, and the reasons are obvious – no matter what, they stand by you through thick and thin. So, if you desperately want to take your mind off your former lover after a breakup, count on your friends. All you need to do is, call them up and plan a fantastic day with them. So, to help you with ideas, we have created an infographic below that you should check out in this instance. Scroll down.
Above everything else, you need to focus on healing. Breakups can cause immense pain to you. It feels like you are missing a piece of your heart. They can harm your inner peace. Therefore, you must take care of your mental health more than usual. Take your time, invest in self-care, go for therapy, talk to your friends, and get back to your happy self, and only then think of your next step. Do not be hard on yourself and rush things. Do not make any decisions when you are feeling low and angry. Find your peace first, and good things will follow. And with the above-mentioned ways to forget your ex, you will find your solution.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why can’t I stop thinking about my ex?
It is normal to think about your ex. After all, you created a life together with someone special. You might be thinking about your ex after a breakup due to the unresolved and lingering feelings you have about the relationship. Sometimes, it might also be due to the fact that you had a certain idea of the relationship and you are holding onto that idea. What you need to do is give yourself time to heal and shower yourself with love while you go through this difficult time.
Can you forget your ex completely?
No, you cannot forget your ex completely. If you opened up yourself to your ex and had something special with them, you cannot forget the impact they had on you. They are a part of your past and the lessons you learned from them have made you who you are today.
Will feelings for my ex go away?
Feelings for an ex can go away over time, but it varies from person to person. It’s important to focus on moving forward and healing oneself. With time, self-care, and working through emotions, overcoming heartbreak and letting go of an ex is possible.
How do I ignore and forget my ex?
Keep yourself busy with friends, hobbies, or clubs to distract your mind, and pamper yourself and indulge in activities you love that make you happy. Be sure to get rid of objects that remind you of your ex, and avoid contacting your ex, even if you miss them. No matter how much they try to get in touch with you, don’t give in.
Should I text my ex who dumped me?
It depends on your own feelings and the circumstances of your relationship. Some might say a text exchange is good if you just want to apologize and make peace. Others may advise against contacting your ex as it may not be in your best interest. Ultimately, decide based on your feelings and what’s best for you.
Why do I still think about my ex every day?
There could be many reasons, such as lingering insecurities, comparisons to your current partner, loneliness, or a lack of emotional fulfillment. It’s important to examine your unresolved feelings and identify your emotions. While occasional thoughts about an ex are expected, make sure you focus on healing and moving forward.
Is no contact working on my ex?
It depends. Sometimes the no-contact rule might make your ex realize your value and he might want to get back with you. But other times, it can be used to properly break-off with your ex. The 30-day no-contact rule requires no communication with an ex and may sometimes be effective. Ultimately, the no-contact rule can offer many advantages whether or not you get back together.
How can I start the process of forgetting my ex?
First things first – prioritize your mental health. Take baby steps towards moving on and give yourself time to heal. Focus on your own life, and adopt a healthy lifestyle through exercise and proper nutrition. Ensure you stop stalking your ex on social media. Create a positive self-image, join groups, find hobbies, and indulge in activities that help to forget them.
Is it possible to remain friends with an ex?
Yes, but it depends on the situation and the people involved. It’s important to consider why you want to be friends with your ex and whether it’s a healthy choice for you. If you decide to pursue a friendship with your ex, it’s important to establish boundaries and communicate openly. It’s also important to be empathetic to the concerns of any new partners you may have.
What if my ex reaches out to me during the process of forgetting them?
If your ex reaches out to you during the process of forgetting them, stick to the no-contact rule. However, if you do break the rule, ensure that you are honest with yourself about why you did it and exercise refrain from responding too quickly or too often.
How can I avoid relapsing and going back to my ex?
To avoid relapsing and going back to your ex, focus on self-care and avoid triggers. Keep yourself busy and surrounded by people and friends who will support you. You might want to also talk to a relationship therapist.
- The pain of heartbreak and moving on with a heavy heart filled with your ex’s memories can be difficult.
- You can still be the same loving person even after the breakup by not paying any attention to your ex and pampering yourself.
- Giving yourself some time, accepting the reality, and knowing what you are capable of can help you forget your ex.
Are you clueless about what do after a breakup and feel down constantly? Click on the following video and learn how to get over your ex and move on with your life.