25 Ways To Forget Your Ex

Reviewed by Sharon Gilchrest O’Neill, Ed.S., LMFT
Written by Harini Natarajan, Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner

Getting over a breakup is hard, and moving forward seems impossible. While you try to bury your feelings deep within, you seek ways to forget your ex. Remembering all the commitments you made now feels like looking at a pile of broken glass. You probably feel like the only one dealing with this kind of sadness and are upset with yourself for being so naive. We have all been in your shoes.

Breakups are difficult to handle. Broken hearts take time to heal, ex-partners are difficult to forget, and the pain can feel unbearable. But we can tell you this: it does get easier after a while. You can still be the loving person you used to be even after the breakup. Here are 25 ways to make it happen!

1. Give Yourself Some Time To Heal

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The biggest mistake people make when trying to move on is indulging in self-destructive activities like aggressive partying, uncontrolled drinking, and crazy makeovers. Though there is no point sulking over what you may have already done, do allow yourself to open up and have a good cry or two to release the negative emotions.

Give yourself time to heal. Start working out and eating healthy. The positive impact it has on your mental health is almost magical. Also, go back to the hobbies and other parts of life that interest you, now that you have the time you had been giving to the relationship.

2. Do Not Stalk Him

After a breakup, you may probably keep wondering what your ex is doing at any given time of the day. It is too often at the back of your mind.

With the help of social media, it is extremely easy to find out about their whereabouts. But, stalking him will only make you sadder and make you anxious. The best way to deal with a breakup is to steer clear of their social media accounts.

3. Do Not Spend Time Re-living Those Memories

What you had was wonderful. It is good – even healthy – to cherish the good memories. However, that is not a good idea when you have just gotten out of a relationship.

When it comes to a toxic relationship, remembering the good bits will only keep you trapped in the past and inhibit your growth.

4. Try To See The Reality

While the dark gray clouds cover your head with sadness, try to find the silver lining. What seems like the end of the world is just one person exiting your life.

Things may look like they are at their worst, but since you see the reality that the relationship was no longer good, nor happy, know that you can do better. A difficult experience create the opportunity for you to build a better, happier future.

5. Learn Your Lesson From The Ending

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Everyone makes mistakes, and it is very important to learn from them in order to prevent them from reoccurring.

People that come into your life will teach you lessons, and a person who wants to leave will leave no matter what you do to hold them back. You may give a hundred percent of yourself to someone, but be careful to never lose yourself completely to them.

6. Do Not Find Excuses To Meet Them Again

Resisting the urge to “accidentally” bump into your ex can be challenging. You may think that a single meeting can get you both back together. However, you need to realize what could not be mended in the full course of a relationship can never be settled in just one meeting.

A relationship is all about effort from both sides, and after it has died a painful death, there is no point trying to resuscitate it.

7. Do Not Be Harsh On Yourself

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There are many reasons for your breakup. Face the fact that the person you are the most furious with is yourself. You are so angry with yourself for trusting someone so much, for being stupid enough not to understand their intentions.

You may want to find ways to punish yourself by indulging in self-destructive behaviors (like excessive drinking). However, you need to remember that everyone makes mistakes. You are more powerful than you know.

8. Do Not Try To Be Friends If You Still Have Feelings For Them

If you are trying to be friends with your ex, just to keep seeing them after the breakup, it will hurt you more than you may think. Trying to turn things around will continue to put you on the wrong path. Friendship is a very special relationship and should not be used for ulterior motives.

9. Know What You Are Capable Of

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You realize what you are actually made of only when you get the opportunity to prove yourself. Let the breakup help you grow, discover your inner self, and explore your potential. You will be surprised to know what you are capable of when you start living life to the fullest.

10. Try To Stay Positive And Indulge In A Healthy Activity

A situation like a breakup can make you weak at heart and unstable in mind, making you unable to consider what is best for yourself. However, realizing that you will be able to take control, little by little, can help you start a new beginning. Try to stay away from any negative thoughts that creep into your mind. Practice yoga, exercise regularly, and eat healthy to keep your mind fresh for a new beginning.

11. Shopping!

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Being alone at home may cause stress and anxiety. How about doing something you like? Shopping might be your way to go! Make a list of all the things you have always wanted to buy and pamper yourself. It could act as a reward for staying strong after the breakup. Or you may be someone who would find peace in volunteering and helping others.

12. Re-Decorate Your Space

One thing is sure, an idle mind will not be helpful. Only allow yourself some limited moments to think about the memories you shared with your ex. And then move on to what you can do that is helpful. Maybe it’s time to redecorate your room/home to create a new environment that you do not associate with your ex. Or maybe you pack up all the gifts and stuff you have and put them in storage or give away.

13. Go Out And See The World

Now is the perfect time to plan that solo trip you have always longed for. Traveling alone to new destinations can be the change of scenery your mind needs. It will make you realize that you don’t need anyone to make you happy except yourself.

14. Get Rid Of The Things That Remind You Of Him

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Maybe you’ve saved the bus ticket from the first time you both traveled together, or his shirt that you snuggled with when you missed him. Well, now is the time to let go of not only his belongings but also the memories that you keep revisiting.

15. Cut All Communication Lines

If you think messaging him once in a while or drunk dialing him will do no harm, you are mistaken. Staying in touch with him will keep you trapped in the past and never let you move on. It is also a good idea to block his number and delete all his mails/texts.

16. Avoid Asking About Them From Friends

Once you cut off all contact with your ex, you may try to get information about him from your mutual friends. Resist that urge. The idea is to stay away from him – physically, emotionally, and mentally.

17. Realize That Reel Life And Real Life Are Very Different

The entertainment industry makes us build castles in the air. Reel life and real life are often confused, and we expect things in our life to function as efficiently as in the books and movies.

When your life and – and more importantly, your relationship – does not work out that way, you tend to get depressed. It is important, especially after a breakup, to keep a realistic perspective and accept that sometimes things just don’t work out, and that’s okay! Because the ending of a bad relationship creates the space for new and better things to grow.

18. Spend Time With Your Family And Friends

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Being alone after a breakup can lead to depression. In times like these, you stop trusting people. However, this is the perfect time to reconnect with the people in your life who will actually stick around no matter what. Spending time with your family and close friends can help you clear your mind and push the dark clouds away.

19. Take Time Out For Your Hobbies

Now is the ideal time to do all the things you did not have time for earlier because you were busy with your significant other. Be it pottery, softball, or coding – it will do you a whole lot of good to finally take time out for yourself and execute the projects that you have always had on your mind.

20. Accept It As A Part Of Your Life

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This may feel like the end of the world, but know that you will rise again. A breakup can make you lose hope and retreat into your shell, never wanting to move on. However, it’s time to accept that heartbreak is a part of life. No matter how bad a situation feels today, nothing lasts forever. Eventually, everything goes back to normal. You just need to stay strong and withstand the storm.

21. Enjoy Your Own Company

Just because you love spending time with someone does not mean that you stop spending quality-time doing the things that you love. It is very important to pamper yourself and respect your free time. Charity begins at home, and loving yourself creates the foundation for loving others.

22. Do Not Hurt Yourself In Any Way

Some people may express their anger by cutting themselves or consuming copious amounts of alcohol or drugs. But no such pain will help the pain of your heartbreak. Hurting yourself will ultimately damage your self-esteem.

In times like these, you need to remember that you are an independent spirit who does not need to depend on anyone except yourself to survive. Being in a toxic relationship does not change who you are or diminish your worth. Believe in yourself and gather the strength to start afresh.

23. Forgive Yourself And Forget Your Ex

It is easy to say forgive and forget, especially when it comes to the person who broke your trust and dreams. However, forgiving your ex might be the key to letting go completely and being happy on your own. It may hurt you to see him with someone else. But, if you just focus on your life and creating a better future for yourself, you will end up wishing only happiness for your ex. It won’t even bother you if your paths cross again!

24. Do Not Date Until You Are Ready

Trying to move on forcefully may result in dating the wrong person again. Love is special, and a rebound should not be mistaken for love. The day you are able to love yourself for the person you are and forgive your ex is the day that you can open up your heart to love again and start dating.

25. Fall In Love With Yourself

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Know that you are special, and a healthy relationship with yourself will make it easier to move forward in life. Make up for all the time that you ignored yourself to pay attention to your ex and pamper yourself to the fullest.

A necessary and crucial part of being human is making mistakes and learning from them. You stumbled. Now, get up, dust off, get on track, and start moving again. You deserve every happiness, and if someone is unable to make you feel loved, do it yourself. Fall in love with yourself all over again.

 

Above everything else, you need to focus on healing. Breakups can cause immense pain to you. They can harm your inner peace. Therefore, you must take care of your mental health more than usual. Take your time, get back to your happy self, and only then think of your next step. Do not be hard on yourself and rush things. Do not make any decisions when you are feeling low and angry. Find your peace first, and good things will follow. And with the above-mentioned ways to forget your ex, you will find your solution.

Key Takeaways

  • The pain of heartbreak and moving forward with a heavy heart filled with your ex’s memories can be difficult.
  • You can still be the same loving person even after the breakup by not paying any attention to your ex and pampering yourself.
  • Giving yourself some time, accepting the reality, and knowing what you are capable of can help you forget your ex.
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Sharon Gilchrest O’Neill

(Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist )
Sharon Gilchrest O'Neill is a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and Family Business Consultant. She holds degrees in Marriage &... more

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