How To Get A Boyfriend: Practical Tips To Get The Guy You Want

Once you crack the code with these tips, you won't need to be single at parties anymore!

Reviewed by Mark Rosenfeld, Dating & Relationship Coach Mark Rosenfeld Mark RosenfeldDating & Relationship Coach facebook_icontwitter_iconlinkedin_iconyoutube_iconinsta_icon
Written by , Integrated MA, Certified Relationship Coach Sneha Tete Integrated MA, Certified Relationship Coach linkedin_icon Experience: 4 years
Edited by , MA (English Literature) Madhumati Chowdhury MA (English Literature) linkedin_icon Experience: 7 years
Fact-checked by , MA Gracia Odile MA linkedin_icon Experience: 3 years
Last Updated on

“Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match / Find me a find, catch me a catch.” The era of traditional matchmaking is over. Wondering how to get a boyfriend in this era of online dating and casual hookups? Well, finding a perfect partner is not easy. If your single status is beginning to feel tiresome, you are ready to find a boyfriend for yourself. It feels good to have someone who is by your side through thick and thin – someone who is your best friend. However, finding a boyfriend who is right for you can be a difficult task. Don’t worry, though – we have got your back! Here is a list of practical ways to get a boyfriend. Read on to get the secrets!

Ways To Get A Boyfriend

First, you need to fight your inhibitions, and then you will realize that getting a man who truly appreciates you for who you are is not that tough. Let us divide this whole confidence-building process into three stages. Sounds simple enough, right? In summary, you only have to complete these three stages of learning, and we will consider our work done.

Stage 1: Laying Out The Field

  • Building Your Confidence
Get a boyfriend by building confidence
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This is the most crucial step and can make or break the entire process. How you fare here will decide your future. Confidence is innate – we all have it, but sometimes, anxiety and overthinking can take over. These are the unpleasant feelings you need to defeat.

Silence the voice that tells you that you are not smart enough or pretty enough. You need to be comfortable in your skin to the point that you feel complete and not like someone who is missing their other half. Your partner is your companion; he is not the missing piece of your soul that you have been looking for.

To truly feel complete in yourself, do things that you love. Don’t be afraid to get out of your comfort zone and explore new activities. Being true to yourself will help you build your confidence, and you will learn to enjoy your own company.

  • Be Clear About Exactly What You Want

We have to give you a fair warning before you delve into this step. This ONLY appears to be easy, but is in fact, incredibly hard. Do you remember those phases of your life that you believed you would tide over comfortably, but they turned out to be more challenging than you had anticipated? Well, this is exactly like that. Be prepared to put in some effort to see this step through.

As humans, we tend to feel that everything is under our control or that we have got it all figured out. But things are not always as easy and clear as they seem. Are you sure you want a boyfriend? Or do you just want a partner for an event? Do you only want to date, or do you actually want to be in a relationship? Are you only doing this because of peer pressure? But most of all, are you ready for a relationship, or are you just plain bored?

Yes, this happens! We often tend to act out during our periods of boredom, and sometimes, we end up making the wrong decisions. Be honest with yourself and figure out the answers to these questions before you set out to look for the man of your dreams. Once you have your answers, you are good to go!

  • Make Sure He Is Single

Now, sisters! Our girl code may not be as well -known like as the famed ‘bro code,’, but we all know that we have one. Do not keep setting your eyes out for sights on a sister’s love companion. Before you make your move, ensure that he is single and ready to mingle. You can do this through a little background check on the internet (we both know you have the correct requisite stalking skills), and you can also ask your friends. If he is not single, move on. Do not ever go for a guy who is already committed or in a relationship. It will only make you feel worse.

  • Be Outgoing
Get a boyfriend by being outgoing
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The preliminary steps in the process that focus on personal growth have been completed. So far, so good. Now, it’s time to get out and show that you own this game. The ball is in your court, so how do you plan to win the game? Start by getting noticed.

We are assuming that your crush is not a celebrity you only see on TV and that you have reasonably good chances of catching his attention. If you are an extrovert, this is not going to be a problem for you. The chances are that he has already noticed you. But if you are an introvert, you would have to put in a little effort. Join the same classes as him or try to find some mutual interests. If he is in the same class, ask for his little help with an assignment. This will act as the first step in your subtle courtship and also get you some private time with him. Use these moments to your advantage, and make sure that you are sending the right signals.

  • Ask Your Friends For Help

Woohoo! This is the easiest part. Were you not thinking of asking your girlfriends for a little help with your love life? Well, now is the time. Go ahead, text them, or call them up and ask them to be your wing-woman. They can play Cupid’s role perfectly and not even give out a hint of what is going on. However, make sure that you choose your friends carefully for this step. One blunder, and it all goes to hell.

A blogger who shares about relationships, friendships, and emotions, recalls the time her friends helped her. She writes, “Smack-dead in the middle of the conversation, they all decide to yell to my crush that I liked him. It got awkward because even after having have been told that I had a crush on him, the guy went silent (i).”

  • Socialize

We have already finished this step, haven’t we? Wrong. This socializing is not restricted to hanging out with him or his group of friends. Yes, you have to put in effort to talk to him and get to know his friends better, but you need to expand this circle as well. Go out, meet new people, and make new friends.

Appear approachable. Are you at a college event? Are you only hanging out with your friends, or are you taking time out to talk to everybody there? He is surely going to notice a friendly, smiling face even in a crowded area. Even better, this is a good way to network and build your social circle.

  • Volunteer

Think of a cause you are passionate about. Once you have figured that out, take some time out from your busy schedule to work on it. This can give you an opportunity to meet like-minded people who have shared interests, values, and passions like yours. But don’t volunteer for the sake of getting a date. Make sure you have a genuine desire and are committed to the cause. Actively participating in such activities will help broaden your social circle and help you learn new things when working with an organization or an active group dedicated to the mission. This will also help increase the chances of finding a potential partner.

  • Use Social Media
Get a boyfriend by using social media
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Social media acts like that one ring to rule all situations. WhatsApp, Tinder, Facebook, and Instagram – the bosses of social media are here to lend you a helping hand. Use your stalking skills and do your primary research on your man. Are you still interested in him? Is there something about him that puts you off? You would probably not get the answers for all the questions from social media alone, but you would get a fair idea. Once you do, you can move on to Stage 2.

Congratulations on completing the all-important Stage 1!

Stage 2: The Deadly Approach

  • Be Friends First

One way to improve the chances of a successful relationship is to be friends with your crush first. This friendship will lay a strong base for your budding relationship. Ideally, do not move on to the next step until you are friends, otherwise you risk being just a hook-up. Once you are friends, here are some words of caution: continue to be feminine and playful. You do not want to get stuck in the friend zone permanently and/or become his bro.

  • Use The Right Body Language

Communication is not only about what you say but how you say it. Use the right body language when you are with him. Lean in towards him when he is talking or give a friendly nod now and then. A subtle brush of hands would not hurt either of you. Moreover, shine that beautiful smile of yours.

Are you sending out the right signals? Does your body language indicate your romantic feelings for him, or are you only coming off as a friend? Are you approachable or too aggressive? Make sure that what you say and the way you behave are in tandem with your emotions.

  • Initiate Conversation
Get a boyfriend by initiating conversation
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Making the first move always seems like a daunting proposition, but it pays off in the end.

It is fairly easy to get a phone number these days, and we are assuming that through all these interactions, you have managed to get one. But if you have not, then fret not. Reach out to him through other social media accounts and start the conversation. It is okay to make the first move. Start talking and get to know each other better.

Do you remember the first step of building your confidence? The work you did then is going to help you now. The confidence that you have developed so far will help you lay the building blocks for your budding romance.

protip_icon Pro Tip
If you are nervous, plan out what you want to say ahead of time and try rehearsing in front of the mirror to build confidence.
  • Flirt

Now, this is no shocker. Flirting is good for your mind and body, and you should indulge in it more often. Lay down your cards and flirt your heart out. However, be playful and make sure that he does not feel cornered. A healthy dose of flirting will make sure that you get his attention. If you have managed to reach a level of comfort, you could get a little naughty too while flirting. However, remember, this is a risky game.

  • Find Common Interests

Something as simple as similar tastes in music or the same preference in movie genres is going to go a long way in helping you find a boyfriend. Having shared interests will help strengthen your relationship. Find things that you both enjoy, and you won’t notice the hours slip by when you are together. Once you start getting to know each other better, you can even hang out with mutual friends (if you do not already have a few), which would help set the comfort levels for you two.
Congratulations on completing Stage 2!

Stage 3: Taking The Big Step

  • Plan A Date
Get a boyfriend by planning a date
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Friendship, mutual interests, and now, a date! Could this get any better? Planning the perfect date takes quite a lot of effort, so do not be hasty. First of all, ensure that you have reached the dating phase, and then playfully tell him to ask you out on a date. It may be a movie, a meal at a restaurant, or just an outing together to the amusement park, but it has to be something that you both would enjoy doing together. Spending this quality time together will help you strengthen your bond.

In a recent survey on Americans’ love languages, 1,000 Americans revealed their preferences for giving and receiving love. Spending quality time with their partners emerged as the most favored love language as 38% ranked it as their top choice. The second most preferred love language is physical touch, which was selected by 24%.

If all goes well, this date may end in more than just a good night kiss!

  • Be Yourself

In the entire process of dating and getting into a new relationship, we tend to lose ourselves. We often forget who we really are and aspire to become the perfect individual who the other person would fall in love with. Do not ever make this mistake – not for your boyfriend, not for your husband, and not for any other relationship in your life. Stay true to yourself and hold your ground. Do not compromise with your values and principles and make sure that your partner loves and understands you enough to respect your choices. Remember that no relationship in your life is going to be as important as the relationship you have with yourself.

  • Have Fun Together

Let this be your goal for every relationship that you have. His company should make your life exciting and fun, not tedious. Something as simple as silence should feel comforting in his company. If you feel out of place or awkward during such moments, he is probably not the right one for you. Whether it is following your respective hobbies or passions or doing something that interests you both, every moment should make you feel alive and happy.

  • Spend Time With Each Other
Get a boyfriend by spending time with each other
Image: Shutterstock

Distance makes the heart grow fonder, but only when you have already developed a special bond with the person. This requires company and abundant ‘alone’ time with your partner. Well, being in a group of friends would still give you some time together, but nothing matches the private company of a loved one. Spend time together. Do crazy stuff and make some memories. These are the moments that you will cherish henceforth.

protip_icon Pro Tip
To spend time together, you can also enroll for fun activities that neither of you have tried, or even for a novel experience for either of you, such as learning a new sport or form of dance together. Shared experiences of things together, new or otherwise, is a great way to bond.
  • Respect Each Other

Every relationship is built on two pillars – trust and respect. No matter what stage of a relationship you are in, if ever you feel the lack of any of these two, you should leave right away. Mutual trust and respect form the crux of every healthy relationship, and you should ensure that you treat each other respectfully from the very beginning. If there is no proper communication between the two of you, it will lead to severe problems later on in life. Communicate openly and foster a healthy environment wherein the two of you are comfortable in your own respective private spaces. Be dependable for your partner and show respect for their decisions and preferences.

If you are ready to give up your single status and venture into the dating and relationship world, your confidence and outgoing nature can be your best assets. Socialize, both physically and virtually, and take your friends’ assistance to find the guy of your dreams. Then, you can befriend your man, get to know them better, and find common areas of interest. It will help build a rapport before you ask them out on a date. Finally, be respectful, spend some quality time together, and have a lot of fun with your guy. And tada! You may have a boyfriend if you two click.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do you know if a boy likes you?

If you want to know if a guy likes you, the simplest way is to ask him directly. However, it’s often more powerful (and less awkward) to read his cues. Here are some to watch for:
• He remembers minor details about you.
• He finds little ways to compliment you.
• He inquires about your relationship status.
• He replies to your texts as soon as possible.
• He finds excuses to spend time with you.
• He blushes around you.
• He feels jealous when you talk to other guys.

How do you get a boyfriend if you are shy?

You can try a few ways to meet new guys:
• Go out to events related to your interests. Practice socializing at these events where the focus isn’t entirely on the conversation.
• Use online dating apps (but don’t rely on them!!).
• Ask your friends to set you up with someone.
• Go out to events related to your interests.

How can I get a boyfriend without talking?

Talking is crucial if you want to make someone your boyfriend and start a serious relationship with them. But there are a few non-verbal things you can do to show your interest:
• Smile at him.
• Make eye contact.
• Play with your hair.
• Look over your shoulder at him.
• Have body language around him.
• Dress to impress.

Key Takeaways

  • Wear your confidence and love yourself the most to get a suitable boyfriend.
  • Friendship is the key, so before making someone your boyfriend, become his friend first.
  • Spend time with someone you want to make your boyfriend so you can get to know him better.


If you are ready to move beyond mere friendships or casual encounters, dive into the guide on securing a genuine and lasting boyfriend. Hit play to uncover the secrets to a successful relationship.

Personal Experience: Source

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Mark Rosenfeld
Mark RosenfeldDating & Relationship Coach
Mark Rosenfeld is a renowned author, keynote speaker, and a leading dating and relationship coach for women in Australia. He aims to empower his clients to take control of their love lives and discover genuine companionship through straightforward techniques and a systematic approach.

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