15 Ways To Get Your Ex Back

By Harini NatarajanHarini Natarajan, Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner  • 

We have all had that perfect bond that we shared with someone special. Didn’t expect things to slip away and die out so soon, did you? Now that you feel lonely, you would readily perform any ridiculous ritual to get them back. Well, you are not alone. Many people would do anything to get back their ex.

Just because you had a bad ending does not mean you can’t revive the relationship. Honestly, winning their love back is not impossible. An honest effort and sincere apology can go a long way. Of course, the reason for your breakup and the present circumstances between you two does alter the path.

Diving back in a relationship without amending the former disputes is a recipe for disaster. Whatever made you two break up is going to remain an overwhelming concern in the future, no matter how hard you try to ignore it. When Cupid’s arrow hit you, you didn’t get the chance to consider what you were getting into. But now that you have a golden second chance, make good use it to create a better future for you and your partner. Here are some foolproof ways to How To Get Your Ex Back and win your ex’s heart and start a loving relationship all over again!

1. Do Not Sulk


You may try to misuse the second chance you’ve gotten by trying to prove your side of the story and convince them that you were right. Well, you might win that fight but lose the relationship beyond recovery. No one wants to be nagged. The worst thing you can do at this point is sulking over things that happened in the past.

It will only make your ex believe that they are not good enough for you and that you were never happy with them. This is clearly not the right way to win their affection back. Bring up the issues you had in a calm and collected manner, but also tell them what you love about them. This will help you sow the seeds of a strong bond between you both in the future.

2. Give Them Time

You have finally made up your mind about giving your relationship a second chance. But wait – have they? Giving your partner time to recover is crucial to restoring your relationship. No matter how sorry you are or the efforts you make to get them back, they need time to regain that comfort level with you.

Being patient with your partner, even after your breakup, can improve your chances of getting back together. Try to be tolerant of their shortcomings and give them time to gain your trust back. Good things take time, and if you really love them, they are worth the wait.

3. Do Not Deny The Fact That The Relationship Did Not Work Out

Accepting a mistake can be a challenge for your ego, especially when you weigh it against the effort made by you to get back with your ex. However, you should know that denial is not the right way to restore things between you two. Yes, it did not work out in the past. It does not mean it is not meant to be, right?

A relationship is a two-way street, and only one person cannot bear the bulk of it alone. Accept your mistakes to start the relationship from a new angle and base it on a true partnership where you let your partner take the driver’s seat once in a while.

4. Don’t Beg Them To Come Back


I know you miss your ex, and a tiny voice inside your head is telling you to keep your ego aside and beg them to come back. Well, don’t. It is very rare for a breakup to have a happy ending. No matter how tiresome your relationship had become, it was a big part of your life. Now that your partner is gone, you feel a void in your heart. But begging them to come back will make them lose all respect for you.

They may not say it to your face that you are desperate, but their urge to run away from you will be real. Stooping down to the level of pleading with someone to stay makes you weak. No matter how much you miss them, don’t lose your self-respect. Let them know that you are willing to make changes on your side if they agree to do the same. This way, you both can start together anew.

5. Give Them Attention

Even though playing hard to get maybe good at the beginning of a relationship, ignoring your ex after a breakup is probably not the correct way to go about mending things. Show them that you care and lend an ear to all their problems. Show them that they can still count on you to be there for them.

6. Keep In Touch

Keeping in touch after a breakup may seem difficult, and you might want to give up and break all ties with your ex once and for all. However, if your heart still yearns for them, blocking them one day and resending a friend request the next is probably not the cleverest thing to do. It also displays immaturity on your part.

Stay in touch with them to show them that you still care and can be mature in this situation. Over time, you can bring up the topic of getting back together.

7. A Little Jealousy Never Hurts


Do not underestimate the possessive quotient of your ex. No matter how cool they act, there is always a tiny part of them that gets jealous when you hang out with someone else. The jealousy wave only escalates after you both part ways because, mentally, it is difficult for them to see you with someone else.

Use this to your benefit and keep them guessing if there is someone new in your life who might be a visible threat to them. Such a distraction will keep them thinking about you, which ups your chances of getting back together.

8. Remind Them Of The Good Times You Had Together

Breaking up is always a heart-wrenching experience. No matter how recklessly you broke up, the memories you created in your relationship are irreplaceable. You will always think back on the happy times together when you are trying to get past this phase.

It is possible that your ex misses you the same way too. Reminiscing about those happy memories with your might do the trick of winning them back. A good memory has the power to fade a bad one. Talk about the happy times you had and thank them for creating them with you.

9. Be A Good Listener

It is important to brush up on your listening skills if you want to improve your chances of getting back with your ex. By listening, I mean your understanding and perceiving skills. Try to read between the lines when your ex is unable to express themself through words.

You cant’ solve every problem in their life, but standing by them and holding their hand tight while they are going through a storm will mean the world to them. Even if your relationship faltered in the past, sincere efforts from your side could help you win their affection back.

10. Work On Yourself


When you are depressed after a breakup, you forget to take care of the things that actually matter. Taking care of yourself is just as important as your relationship. Being happy and at peace improves your mental and physical health, which, in turn, improves the way you treat your ex. Moreover, it also gives you the strength to move on if your ex refuses to get back with you.

11. Hold A Clear Vision About Your Future

Sometimes, you get so busy trying to mend your past that you forget to live in the present. This leads to complaining about the uncertainties about your future. Even though you made mistakes in the past that made you part ways with your partner, it does not have to be the same way in the future.

Keep your vision clear and have reasonable expectations for the future of your relationship. It is never easy to win someone’s broken trust again, but if you think there is a good chance that you can make things work with your ex again, it would be good to have a long-term plan in mind.

12. Make Changes In Your Life Together

Making an effort to change things is good, but it is redundant when you are the only one doing it. The joint effort of you and your ex is the secret ingredient for a successful patch-up. If your ex is genuinely making efforts to change their life to accommodate the relationship, grab this opportunity to cultivate a healthy bond between you two.

Your love has the power to heal all the wounds that caused you two to separate. Be a pillar of strength for your ex and give them all the support they need to start loving and believing in you again.

13. Accept Responsibility For The Mistakes You Made


The blame game can wreak havoc if you get into it while rehashing the mistakes of the past with your ex. It is okay to be wrong and make mistakes. Acknowledging your past errors will help you grow as a human. Genuinely asking your partner for suggestions and help, even after your breakup, might ignite new sparks of love between you two.

Go to them with an open heart and apologize to them. Even if you two don’t get back together after this, at least you will be able to rest easy in the knowledge that things between you two did not end on a sour note.

14. Do Not Blame Them For The Mistakes Of The Past

You obviously need to address all the issues that you had with your ex before trying to get back with them. But reminding them of their every tiny mistake does not do any good either. Accept their mistakes as a part of who they are and help them learn from these mistakes instead of blaming them for past hurts.

15. Surrender To The Reality


Facing the harsh reality is not always easy. No matter how much you want to get back with your ex, you need to accept the reality of the present situation, which is this: you broke up for a reason. Love and infatuation are two different things, and they often come disguised as one another, which can be confusing.

Before you to try to win back your ex’s affection, spend some quality time with yourself, and understand if that is what you really want. Getting them back will probably not be as tough as making the relationship work again despite knowing their flaws and your shortcomings. If you still feel they are the one you want to spend your life with, get ready to put some serious effort into making your relationship work again.

Making a relationship work is not a piece of cake. It takes way more than Saturday night dates, cooking for each other, and looking lovingly into their eyes. Patching up after losing each other’s trust may feel like putting back a ripped off band-aid, but some scars do not heal that easily. But if you are sure that their wrinkled hand is the one you want to hold when you are 80, hope these effective ways help you win back the love of your life.

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