14 Effective Tips To Get Him To Commit

Written by Harini Natarajan , Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner

You both have been on many dates and are having a great time. He is fun to be with and seems interested in you. Well, you sure have a potential relationship on the cards and are wondering when he will commit.

Commitment is the foundation for any relationship, and a lack of it leads to a failed relationship inevitably. If you think your guy seems to be giving you signals, it is but natural for you to want to make him commit. But how do you do that?

We have listed here 14 effective tips that could help. Take a look!

14 Effective Tips To Get Him To Commit

1. Do Not Be Desperate

While it is normal for you to feel frustrated about getting a guy you are interested in to commit, sounding desperate is a big NO. Sounding too ambitious about getting him to commit to you will give an impression that you want him more than he wants you. This, however, is not healthy for a relationship.

Begging for love and commitment from your guy can turn him off. It can also make him retract the steps that he may have otherwise been taking towards committing to you. Hence, it is best not to act desperate and give him and your relationship the space it needs. Make your relationship more enjoyable, which is a more effective way to get him to commit to you.

Give him the power to chase you by using the following tips:

  • Allow him time to call you after your date.
  • Let him suggest the place for your next meeting.
  • Try not to be available at all times. Let him seek your availability instead.

2. Stop Talking About Commitment All The Time

Yes, you want commitment. But do not bring this up in every conversation – as it may only appear that you are pressurizing your guy to commit. Constant pressure creates a stressful situation, and your guy may want to spend lesser time with you if you make him stressed or uncomfortable every time you both meet.

Refraining from talking about commitment all the time might actually get your guy to think about it more. It is also a great way to get him to introspect and he may end up thinking about commitment more seriously.

3. Have Rules In Your Current Relationship

Commitment is a promise that two people make in a personal or professional realm. That is how business deals are made just the same way promises are kept in a relationship. A great beginning for your guy to think about commitment is to have rules in the current dynamics of your relationship. Yes, it does sound awkward to have rules when you want your guy to commit. But rules and commitment go hand-in-hand.

For instance, having rules about certain emotional, physical, or sexual boundaries that apply to each of you can help. Keep the rules clear and concise and avoid ambiguity at all costs.

You can frame your rules in a way that are realistic and attainable. Also, steer clear of setting selfish rules that only work in your favor, as this can be a put-off for your guy and drive him away from the relationship. At the same time, ensure that the relationship style is very clear to both the parties involved.

4. Invest In Yourself

Do not forget yourself in the pursuit of getting your guy to commit. Do not invest too much of yourself in him. Instead, put a great deal of time into living your life. Nobody likes a person who is not well-invested in themselves or is always clingy. Do things that make you happy, meet your friends, spend time with your family, go about your hobbies, and work like you normally would. Always remember that a relationship is just a part of your life – at least until there is commitment. Avoid making it the center of your life.

When you are happy, oozing confidence with strong self-esteem, you will appear more attractive than when you seem desperate for attention and commitment. It is commonly observed that when you stop making your guy your number one priority, he will crave you and your presence in his life. Go after yourself and see how he turns towards you for commitment.

5. Be Loving

While you spend a great deal of time on yourself, be sure to shower him with love too. This may sound contradictory, but being a loving partner is important to make your guy see how you can be a lovely partner. You get what you give, and this applies to relationships too. Without going overboard, show your commitment and seriousness towards taking your relationship to the next level.

In their quest to get their guy to commit, many women expect perfection from their partners. This will turn the tables against you, and your man will start falling prey to the stress of expectations. You can instead ask yourself if you would commit to someone like you if you were a man.

6. A Hint Of Jealousy Is Okay

Using jealousy in a relationship in minimal amounts is okay. It sometimes even allows the other person to realize one’s feelings. It is okay to bring up your ex, albeit subtly and decently – and your man may begin to wonder about you and your ex. His emotions may stir him to ask for commitment. It does not matter if you are really in touch with your ex, but playing harmless mind games like this can get your man to think a little more deeply about your relationship. He might want to be a better man for you than your ex was, and this little jealousy can motivate him to commit to you.

7. Be Supportive Of His Emotional Needs

Men are humans too and have emotions like women. Though they may be less expressive about their feelings and emotional needs, they do emote. A sure-shot way of getting your man to commit to you is by convincing him that you are there for him when he needs you and that he can depend on you. Men rarely need financial support, but offering emotional and mental support is very important to most men.

Men can have emotional breakdowns, and being there for your guy in those critical times makes you a dependable and trustworthy person in his life. This is a good way to establish your importance in his life. Commitment is not far away the moment your man realizes that you are irreplaceable in his life.

8. Some Distance Is Healthy

Distance makes the heart grow fonder, they say. In relationships, this is indeed true and very effective if you are looking to take yours to the next level. Being there for your partner at all times can make them take you for granted. This is not something you want before your partner commits to you.
Maintain a healthy distance from him in a way that you are there to support him always, but aren’t spending all your time thinking about him. It is okay to let him miss you occasionally.

9. Do Not Be Too Demanding

Having too many expectations and demands from your partner may not be a great way to get him to commit to you. No one likes to be around a demanding person.

Wanting things to happen the way you please or having unrealistic and excessive expectations from your man in the pursuit to get him to commit to you is not recommended.

10. Create Value

A person must see value in something before committing to it. A relationship is no different. If you want your man to commit to your relationship, create value that will attract him. Also, you must value yourself as someone who does not value themselves cannot add much value to the relationship either. Maintaining your individuality and your sense of value is essential before you get your partner to value your relationship and commit to you.

If you want your partner to see something in you, you must first see that in yourself. Not seeing value in yourself can result in your partner using you for their emotional needs. It is true that a couple grows together in a relationship and learns from each other or adapts to each other. However, one must have a sense of individuality and bring something to the table.

11. Ask Yourself If You Are Committed Too

Before expecting your partner to commit to you, you must assess how committed you are. You must be committed to yourself and the relationship before expecting the same from your guy. Constructive self-commitments like being truthful, being aware of your goals, and taking care of your health and well-being are important if you want your guy to commit to you.

Men prefer to commit to women who are strong, have their sense of being, and can commit to themselves. In fact, this is a turn-on for many men.

12. Avoid Spoon-Feeding And Babysitting

There is a difference between being there for your man when he needs you and spoon-feeding. In many relationships, the woman does everything for her man and almost takes on the role of his mother. But this is not a strong foundation for a relationship. There must be a clear line drawn about certain things that you should avoid doing for your partner. You also must exercise the liberty to say ‘no’ when you have to.

Doing everything for your partner spoils him like it would a pampered child. This also may make your partner take you for granted.

13. Allow Him To Play A Role In Your Life

Just like you play certain roles in your partner’s life, allow him to play a role in yours too. Asking him to help you with your tasks, taking his advice, and letting him take charge often allows him to stand out as the hero in your life. Men love this and take on more responsibility and liability in these situations. This is a great way to get him to realize how important he is to you, and this feeling can trigger thoughts of commitment in his mind.

14. Be Romantic

Every relationship needs some spicing up from time to time to keep the flame going. Being romantic, for this reason, should be on your cards. While being romantic, try not to do overdo your actions or words. Your love and romance should come naturally and work like magic around him. This will help you get more intimate with him, and this interconnected circle of love and passion will pull him closer to you. In many cases, this one factor is the absolute winner and is enough to convince your partner to fully commit to you.


Getting your partner to commit to you is not going to be difficult with this comprehensive list of tips. No matter the stage of your relationship, do not try to force your partner into commitment. Making him commit may sound like a difficult task, but being desperate or overdoing things will only make him pull away from you and the relationship. Do the right things, be patient, and invest in yourself – and your relationship would be as blissful as you have always dreamt it to be!

Frequently Asked Questions

How long does a man take to commit?

When it comes to relationships, each individual is different, and there cannot be set rules about when certain things must happen. This applies to getting your man to commit to you as well. The basic ground rule for a couple to commit should be when both people have known each other well, are comfortable in each other’s company, and most importantly – are comfortable with each other. This can take a month, six months, a year, or even a few years.

How do you get a guy to commit that does not want a relationship?

There many men out there who love company but are commitment-phobic. If you are seeing a guy who is scared of commitment or does not want a relationship in the near future, it can be frustrating and worrying. However, here are some ways you can get your man to commit to a relationship without forcing him into one:
A hint of jealousy can do the trick if he sees he has got competition.
Make him want you more by making less time for him.
Try to understand why he is commitment-phobic or does not want a relationship. This can help you work around it.
Offer to take things slow, keeping it open for him and you, and see where the relationship goes.
Take an active interest in his life without interfering.
Show him you have a life and you value yourself.
Have an honest relationship where you both can communicate freely about what you think about the relationship status.

Why is it hard for a man to commit?

There are many reasons why men find it hard to commit to a woman. Some of these are:
They may not respect the woman enough to commit to her.
The woman is not exciting enough for the man or does not bring adventure to his life.
They lack a purpose in life.
They are intimidated by the woman.
They may believe they are not compatible enough to lead their lives together.

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