16 Effective Ways To Get Him To Commit To A Relationship
Love and support him, be patient, and don't force things if you want to be with him in the long haul.
In an era where online dating is preferred, it is important to understand how to move on to the next phase of a blooming relationship. This next step is getting your partner to commit. After all, with so many dating apps around, the high of swiping right is sometimes more gratifying than actually being in a relationship. But now you have gone on multiple dates with a man who has shown how great he is to be with. You both have good compatibility, and – more importantly – he has never ghosted you. Clearly, he is interested! All he needs is an extra nudge to commit as he thinks about future plans. Thankfully, there are some effective strategies you can try to foster commitment in a relationship. While these tips are believed to be very effective in making your partner commit to the relationship, they are not absolute, and individual experiences may vary. This is because every human is different, and every relationship and situation is unique. So, before following these by the book, please assess if these strategies might work for your unique situation. If you are sure the relationship is heading in a positive direction, and all he needs is a nod from your end, go ahead! Read on to learn some of the most effective ways to get him to commit.
In This Article
16 Effective Tips To Get Him To Commit
Sometimes, men make their attraction to someone obvious but may be shy or hesitant to commit to a serious relationship. There may be a variety of reasons why they hesitate to commit, but you can always give them a little nudge, letting them know you are in for it. Here are a few ways you can express your feelings in a healthy way, reassuring him that you are in for the long haul.
1. Do Not Be Desperate
While it is normal for you to feel frustrated about getting a guy you are interested in to commit, sounding desperate is a big NO. Sounding too ambitious about getting him to commit to you will give an impression that you want him more than he wants you. This, however, is not healthy for a relationship.
Begging for love and commitment from your guy can turn him off. It can also make him retract the steps he may have otherwise taken toward committing to you. Hence, it is best not to act desperate and give him and your relationship the space it needs. Make your relationship more enjoyable, which is a more effective way to get him to commit to you.
Give him the power to chase you by using the following tips:
- Allow him time to call you after your date.
- Let him suggest a place for your next meeting.
- Try not to be available at all times. Let him seek your availability instead.
For example, if he does not reach out right after a date, resist the urge to text first. Let him take the lead in reaching out and suggesting plans for the next meeting. This approach creates a natural balance and allows him to actively pursue the relationship.
2. Stop Talking About Commitment All The Time
Yes, you want commitment. But do not bring this up in every conversation – as it may only appear that you are pressurizing your guy to commit. Constant pressure creates a stressful situation, and your guy may want to spend less time with you if you make him stressed or uncomfortable every time you meet. So, how to keep a guy interested enough to think about the relationship?
Refraining from talking about commitment all the time might actually get your guy to think about it more. It is also a great way to get him to introspect, and he may think about commitment more seriously.
For instance, during a casual dinner together, focus on sharing stories about your day, discussing hobbies, or making plans for fun activities instead of bringing up where the relationship is headed. This relaxed atmosphere lets the connection grow naturally and keeps the conversation enjoyable.
3. Have Rules In Your Current Relationship
Commitment is a promise that two people make in a personal or professional realm. That is how business deals are made, just like promises are kept in a relationship. A great beginning for your guy to think about commitment is to have rules in the current dynamics of your relationship. Yes, it does sound awkward to have rules when you want your guy to commit. But rules and commitment go hand-in-hand.
For instance, having rules about certain emotional, physical, or sexual boundaries that apply to each of you can help. Keep the rules clear and concise and avoid ambiguity at all costs.
You can frame your rules in a way that is realistic and attainable. Also, steer clear of setting selfish rules that only work in your favor, as this can be a put-off for your guy and drive him away from the relationship. At the same time, ensure that the relationship style is obvious to both parties involved.
4. Invest In Yourself
Do not forget yourself in the pursuit of getting your guy to commit. Do not invest too much of yourself in him. Instead, put a great deal of time into living your life. Nobody likes someone who is not well-invested in themselves or is always clingy. Do things that make you happy, meet your friends, spend time with your family, go about your hobbies, and work like you normally would. Prioritize your personal growth and self-love and understand what you want from this relationship. This will help you establish a solid foundation of self-awareness and address any commitment issues through self-reflection. Always remember that a relationship is just a part of your life – at least until there is love and commitment. Avoid making it the center of your life.
When you are happy, oozing confidence, and working on your appearance, you look more attractive than when you seem desperate for attention and commitment (1). It is commonly observed that when you stop making your guy your number one priority, he will crave you and your presence in his life. Go after yourself and see how he turns towards you for mutual commitment.
5. Be Loving
While you spend a great deal of time on yourself, shower him with love too. This may sound contradictory, but being a loving partner is important to make your guy see how you can be a lovely partner. You get what you give, and this applies to relationships too. Without going overboard, show your commitment and seriousness toward taking your relationship to the next level.
In their quest to get their guy to commit, many women expect perfection from their partners. This will turn the tables against you, and your man will start falling prey to the stress of expectations. You can instead ask yourself if you would commit to someone like you if you were a man.
6. A Hint Of Jealousy Is Okay
Experiencing a bit of jealousy in a relationship is normal (2). It sometimes even allows the other person to realize their feelings. It is okay to bring up your ex, albeit subtly and decently – and your man may begin to wonder about you and your ex. His emotions may stir him to ask for commitment. It does not matter if you are in touch with your ex, but playing harmless mind games like this can get your man to think more deeply about your relationship. He might want to be a better man for you than your ex was, and this little jealousy can motivate him to commit to you.
Here is how you can do it! During a conversation about favorite travel memories, casually mention a trip you once enjoyed without specifying who you went with. This subtle hint can spark curiosity and encourage him to think about building similar meaningful experiences with you, fostering a deeper connection.
7. Be Supportive Of His Emotional Needs
Men are humans, too, and have emotions like women. Though they may be less expressive about their feelings and emotional needs, they do emote. A sure-shot way of getting your man to commit to you is by convincing him that you are there for him when he needs you and can depend on you. Men rarely need financial support, but offering emotional and mental support is very important to most men.
Men can have emotional breakdowns and everybody relies on emotional support and communication in such times. Being there for your guy in those critical times makes you a dependable and trustworthy person in his life. This is a good way to establish your importance in his life. Commitment is not far away when your man realizes that you are irreplaceable in his life.
You can support your partner by putting your phone away and listening to him actively. While he may not always need your advice, sometimes telling him you are there for him is enough and makes him feel heard.
8. Some Distance Is Healthy
How do you make him chase you? Well, they say, distance makes the heart grow fonder. In relationships, this is indeed true and very effective if you are looking to take yours to the next level. Being there for your partner at all times can make them take you for granted. This is not something you want before your partner commits to you. Maintain a healthy distance from him in a way that you are there to support him always, but aren’t spending all your time thinking about him. It is okay to let him miss you occasionally.
Instead of texting or calling him throughout the day, focus on spending time with friends, pursuing your hobbies, or working on personal goals. For example, if he asks to spend the weekend together but you have plans with your friends, let him know you already have something exciting lined up instead of considering canceling other things for him. This gives him the space to reflect on your importance in his life and builds a sense of appreciation for the time you spend together. It also helps you take a breather, self-reflect, and maintain your connection with your support system.
9. Do Not Be Too Demanding
Having too many expectations and demands from your partner may not be a great way to get him to commit to you. No one likes to be around a demanding person.
Wanting things to happen the way you please or having unrealistic and excessive expectations from your man in the pursuit to get him to commit to you is not recommended.
So, when making plans for an evening out, instead of insisting on a specific restaurant or activity, suggest a few options and ask for his preference. This collaborative approach makes him feel valued and respected. This nurtures a sense of partnership rather than pressure.
10. Create Value
A person must see value in something before committing to it. A relationship is no different. If you want your man to commit to your relationship, create value that will attract him. Also, you must value yourself as someone who does not value themselves cannot add much value to the relationship either. Maintaining your individuality and your sense of value is essential before you get your partner to value your relationship and commit to you.
If you want your partner to see something in you, you must first see that in yourself. Not seeing value in yourself can result in your partner using you for their emotional needs. It is true that a couple grows together in a relationship and learns from each other or adapts to each other. However, one must have a sense of individuality and bring something to the table before planning of building a life together.
11. Ask Yourself If You Are Committed Too
Before expecting your partner to commit to you, you must assess how committed you are. You must be committed to yourself and the relationship before expecting the same from your guy. Constructive self-commitments like being truthful, being aware of your relationship goals, and taking care of your health and well-being are important if you want your guy to commit to you.
Men prefer to commit to women who are strong, have a sense of being and independence, can communicate with honesty, and can commit to themselves. In fact, this is a turn-on for many men.
12. Avoid Spoon-Feeding And Babysitting
There is a difference between being there for your man when he needs you and spoon-feeding. In many relationships, the woman does everything for her man and almost takes on the role of his mother. But this is not a strong foundation for a relationship. There must be a clear line drawn about certain things that you should avoid doing for your partner. You also must exercise the liberty to say ‘no’ when you have to.
Doing everything for your partner spoils him like it would a pampered child. This also may make your partner take you for granted.
13. Allow Him To Play A Role In Your Life
Just like you play certain roles in your partner’s life, allow him to play a role in yours too. Asking him to help you with your tasks, taking his advice, and letting him take charge often allows him to stand out as the hero in your life. Men love this and take on more responsibility and liability in these situations. This is a great way to get him to realize how important he is to you, and this feeling can trigger thoughts of commitment in his mind. Allow him to do things for you as a way of building trust, and you can see if his words meet his actions.
14. Be Romantic
Every relationship needs some spicing up from time to time to keep the flame going. Being romantic, for this reason, should be on your cards. While being romantic, try not to overdo your actions or words. Your love and romance should come naturally and work like magic around him. This will help you get more intimate with him, and this interconnected circle of love and passion will pull him closer to you. In many cases, this one factor is the absolute winner of respect and is enough to convince your partner to fully commit to you.
You can always plan a surprise evening with his favorite home-cooked meal and a cozy setup with soft music and candles. This thoughtful and genuine gesture creates a warm, romantic atmosphere. It may help in strengthening the bond and encouraging deeper feelings of connection and commitment.
You can romance your partner in small and simple ways by writing love notes in his wallet, sending him a romantic text, or kissing him before he walks out the door.
15. Show Appreciation
Acknowledging and appreciating your partner is fundamental for building commitment. This is an important aspect to remember when wondering what men want in a relationship. Expressing gratitude for a man’s actions conveys their significance to you, fostering a sense of importance and potentially expediting commitment. Actively recognizing and appreciating thoughtful gestures not only showcases genuine interest but also enhances the likelihood of these considerate behaviors being repeated.
For example, when he goes out of his way to help you with something, like fixing a problem or offering support during a stressful time, take a moment to sincerely thank him. For example, say, “I really appreciate you helping me with that, it means a lot.” This simple acknowledgment reinforces his efforts and makes him feel valued in the relationship.
16. Be A Good Listener
When you make a conscious effort to truly listen to your partner, you create a strong foundation for connection and understanding. Being a good listener means more than just hearing words; it is about understanding the emotions behind them and trying to empathize. When you practice active listening, it tells your partner that their perspective matters, creating trust and intimacy.
During a conversation about his day, pay complete attention, maintain eye contact, and respond with thoughtful comments or questions like, “That sounds challenging, how did you handle it?” This shows genuine interest in his experiences and feelings.
So, now that you know the mantra to get him committed to the relationship, here are some ways to keep the relationship gliding on the path to happiness and fulfillment. Read on!
Tips To Keep The Committed Relationship Fulfilling
Once you have him committed, you need to know that maintaining a thriving relationship is an ongoing process that requires effort and dedication. Here is an in-depth guide. Read on!
- Communicate Openly And Honestly
Open and honest communication is the foundation of a healthy relationship. Share your thoughts and experiences with your partner regularly. This creates trust and helps you both understand each other’s needs and expectations. Avoid withholding information or bottling up emotions, as it can lead to misunderstandings. Active listening is equally crucial. Listen to understand, not just to respond, and ensure your partner feels heard and validated.
- Prioritize Quality Time Together
Life can get busy, but prioritizing time with your partner helps maintain a strong connection. Schedule regular date nights or dedicate time each day to check in with each other. Even small moments, like watching a movie or cooking dinner together, can strengthen your bond. Quality time nurtures intimacy and reminds you both why you value the relationship.
- Show Appreciation Regularly
Small gestures, like saying “thank you” for making dinner or complimenting their hard work, make them feel valued. Expressing appreciation helps your partner feel seen and encourages positive behavior. It nurtures mutual respect and affection.
- Keep The Romance Alive
Romance keeps the passion alive in a long-term relationship. It does not have to be extravagant. Even small gestures like writing a love note, planning a surprise outing, or recreating your first date can rekindle the spark. Regularly expressing affection and maintaining intimacy strengthens emotional and physical bonds.
- Respect Each Other’s Independence
While shared experiences are essential, maintaining individuality within the relationship is equally important. Encourage your partner to pursue their hobbies, spend time with friends, and achieve personal goals. Respecting each other’s independence creates a balance and prevents feelings of suffocation. It allows both partners to grow individually and as a couple.
- Handle Conflicts Constructively
Conflicts are inevitable, but they do not have to harm your relationship. Approach disagreements with a problem-solving mindset. Avoid blaming or criticizing, and instead use “I” statements to express your feelings. For example, say, “I feel hurt when…” instead of “You always…” This approach builds understanding and minimizes defensiveness. Strive to reach a resolution that respects both perspectives.
- Nurture Trust And Transparency
Trust is built through consistent actions and honesty. Be reliable, follow through on promises, and share your thoughts and feelings openly. Transparency about your intentions and decisions reassures your partner of your commitment. Over time, this builds a secure foundation that strengthens your relationship.
- Support Each Other’s Goals
Encourage your partner to chase their dreams, whether it is a career ambition, fitness goal, or creative pursuit. Celebrate their victories and offer comfort during setbacks. Showing genuine support nurtures a sense of partnership and deepens your emotional connection. It also sets a tone of mutual respect and admiration.
- Maintain Physical Intimacy
From simple gestures like holding hands or hugging to more intimate connections, physical affection builds emotional security and strengthens the bond between partners. Regular physical intimacy keeps the relationship exciting.
- Continually Learn And Grow Together
Shared experiences help couples evolve together. Take a class, try a new hobby, or travel to a new destination together. Learning and growing together keeps the relationship fresh and exciting. It also provides opportunities to discover new aspects of each other’s personalities.
- Establish Shared Goals And Values
Discussing and aligning on shared values, such as finances, family, and future aspirations, is vital. When both partners work toward common goals, it fosters unity and ensures you are on the same page. Periodically revisit these discussions to adapt to life changes and strengthen your shared vision for the future.
- Practice Forgiveness
Mistakes and misunderstandings happen, but holding onto resentment can erode a relationship. Learn to forgive and focus on moving forward rather than dwelling on past conflicts. Forgiveness creates an environment of trust and safety, allowing both partners to grow without fear of judgment.
- Celebrate Each Other
Take the time to celebrate your partner’s accomplishments, milestones, and even small victories. Whether it is a promotion, finishing a project, or achieving a personal goal, your acknowledgment and celebration reinforce their value and build positive energy in the relationship.
- Keep The Fun Alive
Laughter and playfulness are essential for a fulfilling relationship. Plan fun activities like game nights, playful teasing, or spontaneous adventures. Humor reduces stress and strengthens emotional bonds, making your relationship more enjoyable and less routine.
- Be Patient And Understanding
Every relationship faces challenges, but patience and understanding can help you deal with them. Recognize that both you and your partner are human and will make mistakes. Approach difficulties with empathy and kindness, focusing on solutions rather than blame.
By integrating these practices into your daily life, you can create a committed relationship that is not only healthy but also deeply fulfilling.
Key Takeaways
- If you want your man to commit to you, try to be patient, don’t not too demanding, and support his emotional needs.
- Also, men prefer to commit to women who have a strong sense of self.
- Being desperate or overdoing things will only make him pull away from you and the relationship.
Infographic: How To Get Him To Commit
You want your partner to commit, but what does commitment look like in a relationship? And how quickly can you ask your partner or date to commit to you?
Commitment is essential to a long-term healthy relationship. In the infographic below, we show you what values you should look for in a relationship and the stages in a standard relationship. Check it out!
Before trying to get him to commit and form a strong emotional connection, make sure you both are on the same page about the relationship’s future. While you may be eager to move on to the next step, maybe your partner still needs some time and space to deal with certain circumstances. Being respectful of each other’s stance and being open about your expectations would help get a clear picture. While it is important to give your relationship time, you should also know when things are just lingering on without any real reason and take the necessary steps to nudge it in the right direction.
Frequently Asked Questions
Do guys with commitment issues come back?
They may return if they genuinely want to change and make the relationship work. Sometimes breakups may make them realize how much they miss you or your presence. However, it may not be the same for everyone.
How do you know if a guy will ever commit?
If you are his priority and always cared for by him, he may commit to you. However, it is always best to have patience and wait for clarity from him.
Will walking away make him commit?
You might not be able to convince him to decide by leaving, but it’s possible. He might discover that he can express his true emotions to you once you leave the room. Of course, once he lets you know how he feels about you, it’s up to you to decide what you want to do.
What makes a man commit fast?
You can show a man that what he does means something to you by telling him how much you value what he does or by complimenting him. This will encourage him to believe that what he does is important, which will help him make a quick decision.
How to get him to commit by pulling away?
Without giving a justification, pulling away is not good quality. If you want a man to dedicate himself to you and your relationship. Inform him of your expectations, and if he is not prepared, tell him that you will withdraw and that he must return to meet them with a clear head.
Why do men hesitate to commit?
Men sometimes hesitate to settle down if the majority of their friends are single, have other commitments, or need more time to think things through. If a man has a girlfriend or doesn’t want to advance their relationship, he may not have any intentions of getting married.
What age do guys want to commit?
Ninety percent of college-educated men are prepared for the next step between the ages of 26 and 33, which is also the time they’re most likely to think about marriage. However, this opportunity only lasts for four to five years before the likelihood that a man will get married starts to decrease.
How do you know if he is ready for commitment?
The way someone makes plans for you will show whether or not they are sincere about you. A committed person consistently makes a real plan to see you, as opposed to making plans merely for the sake of saying you’ll hang out soon. They demonstrate their concern and a keen interest in making the most of your time together through their very telling actions.
What are some reasons why he may be hesitant to commit, and how can you address these concerns?
The root of commitment problems is fear. Fear of missing out, fear of being smothered, fear of someone being hurt, fear of choosing the wrong partner, etc. It could also be the result of a traumatic relationship or growing up in a family with unpleasant boundaries. You can discuss this with your partner and then ensure that all of his concerns are addressed.
Illustration: Effective Ways To Get Him To Commit In A Relationship
Learn the one thing you need to do in order to get your partner to commit to the relationship. Check out this video to get relationship advice.
References
Articles on StyleCraze are backed by verified information from peer-reviewed and academic research papers, reputed organizations, research institutions, and medical associations to ensure accuracy and relevance. Read our editorial policy to learn more.
- Physical attractiveness, happiness, neuroticism, and self-esteem.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/1151901/ - Love, jealousy, satisfaction and violence in young couples
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10162535/#sec014
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