It is no surprise that most youngsters have one common question running in their minds. How to get over a crush? Yes, they are often stuck in two minds whether to open up about their feelings with their crush or keep them a secret.
Of course, you could be left heartbroken if the same feelings are not reciprocated from the other side. In that case, there is nothing to worry about as you will eventually come out of it. But how soon? This article guides you through getting over a crush and moving on in your life. Read on!
In This Article
How To Get Over A Crush On A Friend
Getting over a crush on a friend is not easy. You want to preserve your friendship, but you also need time to deal with the emotional whirlwind you are experiencing. You need to accept your feelings and take charge of your emotions to deal with them in a healthy manner and move forward. Here’s what you can do:
- Acknowledge your feelings and allow yourself to grieve and heal. Understand that it is just a phase and not a permanent setback.
- Let your friend know how you feel. This will not only give you closure but also help them support and understand you if they want to preserve the friendship. However, if your friend is in a relationship or committed to someone, it is best not to tell them.
- If you have been investing a lot in the relationship of late, hoping that your friend will reciprocate your feelings, pull back, distance yourself, and focus on yourself.
- Spend more time with other friends or family members to get your mind off your crush.
- Indulge in activities that keep you happy – read a book, listen to music, go for a walk or a long drive, watch a comedy movie or show, write in your journal, or paint.
Getting over a crush may not be as easy as it seems to be. It may take time and fade away eventually. In the next section, we discuss how long it takes to get over a crush.
How Long Does It Take To Get Over A Crush?
Most crushes don’t last long – they either dissolve or progress into a relationship. Research states that it takes up to four months to get over a crush (1). However, some crushes may last longer – even years. It all depends on what factors are causing infatuation and attraction.
How long your crush lingers on your mind purely depends on you and the way you see it. The thoughts of missed opportunity as well as the impact it has on your sense of self may further make getting over a crush difficult. However, understand that grieving the loss of opportunity and reflecting on yourself are parts of the process. But, here are some tips that may help you get over a crush.
Tips To Get Over A Crush
1. Focus On Yourself
Rejection or non-reciprocation can make you feel highly vulnerable. This is when you need to remember that your relationship with yourself is the one that should matter the most in your life. Focus on channeling your energy towards what you want, your goals, and things you can control. This will not only widen your horizons but also boost your self-confidence.
A study was conducted on 1011 French students to determine the effect of self-esteem on self-rated health. 20% of the students reported average or poor health, which was directly related to low self-esteem. On the contrary, there was a significant 40% increase in people reporting good health among those with high self-esteem.
2. Practice Self-Care
Pamper yourself. Get a new haircut, enjoy a spa day, color your hair, join a Zumba class, or have dinner at a fancy restaurant. Feel good about yourself!
3. Talk It Out
You can confide in your best friend or sibling and get all your feelings out. Talking through things will help you understand why something happened and where it is headed. It will also let your loved ones know what you are going through and help them support you.
4. Don’t Stalk Their Social Media Accounts
Getting over someone can be difficult if you keep checking their social media accounts to see what they are up to. Unfollow your crush on all their social media handles. You can also block their updates from appearing on your feed.
5. Write In Your Journal
Journaling helps declutter your mind and reduce stress. It allows you to get a hold of yourself and achieve clarity in your thoughts and goals. It aids in healing and helps you get a grip on your emotions.
6. Understand That The Hurt Is Temporary, And You Are Not Alone
Yes, it hurts, and it will take time for you to bounce back. But remember, these feelings won’t last forever, and you will eventually move on.
7. Take Up A New Hobby
Toss out the old, ring in the new! A new hobby focuses all your attention and takes your mind off your crush. Plus, it can also help you connect with new people and expand your social circle.
8. Don’t Go On New Dates Right Away
While a new person would help take your mind off your crush, it is not exactly ideal. You need to step out of your fantasy world and be present in reality. That can only be done once you fully get over your crush. When you are ready for a relationship, you need to look for someone whom you can reach out to, interact with, and eventually develop a relationship with.
9. Consult A Therapist
If you have tried all these suggestions and yet feel stuck in sadness or unable to move on, talk to a therapist or counselor. They will work with you to help you gain more control of your life and feelings.
It is okay if your crush does not reciprocate your feelings. We know this will cause you heartbreak, but be strong and do not judge your worth. You are special and beautiful. So, do not doubt yourself. Just follow the tips shared above, and you will learn how to get over a crush without causing too much pain to yourself. Make sure to heal and give yourself the love you deserve. Also, keep up your spirits, and the rest will fall into place.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why is it so hard to get over a crush?
The high that comes with having a crush, constantly looking for them, noticing what they do, and trying to get their attention can be tough to get over. Focus on other things, like getting a new hobby, your school or office work, hitting the gym, etc. The more you put your focus elsewhere, the less preoccupied you will be with your crush.
What is a long-term crush called?
There is no official term for a long-term crush. Psychologist Dorothy Tennov called long-term infatuation ‘limerence.’ Some people have crushes on their twin flame that can last a lifetime even though you both are not together.
How can I forget my crush I see every day?
Since you see your crush every day, you have trained yourself to look for them and constantly notice them. To get over a crush you see every day, you need to keep your mind busy. Read a book, focus on your work, and spend time with the other people around you. In short, now you have to train yourself to not focus on your crush, and with time it will fade.
Are crushes healthy?
Yes, having crushes is normal and healthy.
How long does it take to get over a crush?
The length of time it takes to move on from a crush can differ, depending on the person and how intense the crush is. Mild crushes can dissipate within a few weeks, while more intense crushes may endure for several months, or even up to two years if a romantic relationship doesn’t develop.
At what age do you have your first crush?
Kids usually have their first crush on family members at age 5 or 6 and on someone outside the family at age 10-13, which is an important step in healthy romantic development.
- Getting over a crush and moving on is not easy, but slowly, you can successfully deal with your emotional upheaval.
- Accept your feelings and prioritize yourself. Indulge in activities that make you happy and start self-caring.
- Start a hobby or practice the one you left out many days ago.
When you are trying to get over your crush, you may end up feeling emotionally drained. Don’t beat yourself over it. The following video will guide you on how to finally forget someone and move on. Check it out!
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