How To Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back – 4 Steps To Win Him Back

It is worth a try to help them realize your value and make their way back to you.

Reviewed by Bayu Prihandito, Life Coach Bayu Prihandito Bayu PrihanditoLife Coach facebook_iconlinkedin_iconyoutube_iconinsta_icon
Written by , MA (English Literature), Certified Relationship Coach Shivani Chandel MA (English Literature), Certified Relationship Coach Experience: 4 years
Edited by , MA (English) Subhrojyoti Mukherjee MA (English) Experience: 4 years
Fact-checked by , Integrated MA, Certified Relationship Coach Sneha Tete Integrated MA, Certified Relationship Coach linkedin_icon Experience: 4 years

You may sometimes feel that your breakup was a mistake and your ex is your soulmate, leading you to wonder how to get your ex-boyfriend back. If you are going through this phase, fret not! We have created a step-by-step guide to ensure that you get your man to fall back in love with you.

Before we start, let us remind you that your ex-boyfriend is an individual with an independent way of thinking, and nothing you do can assure his return for sure. But, with our suggestions, you can drastically improve the chances of him getting back into the relationship.

Yes, you can get your ex-boyfriend back, but you have to work for it. You have to make many changes in yourself and the relationship dynamics. Furthermore, you should try the practical way instead of the emotional one. We understand breakups aren’t easy to cope with, and sometimes you can’t get over your past relationship. But he has to see you as a confident and positive individual rather than a moping woman craving his love. This article explains the steps you need to take to get your ex-boyfriend back. Scroll down!

Tips On How To Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back

Step 1: Cut Off All Contact With Him

Get your ex boyfriend back by refusing to speak with him
Image: Shutterstock

Sounds confusing, right? But don’t worry, we are not trying to sabotage your relationship. Believe us when we say that this is one of the pivotal steps to get your ex-boyfriend back. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and that is what we are aiming for! By cutting off all contact with your ex, you will make him feel your absence. He needs to miss you to realize how much he wants you back. So, how do we go on about it?

Being impatient won’t do you any good, and you need to test the waters first. Take time off from him for at least four weeks before reaching out to him again. No, it is non-negotiable. Chin up, eyes straight ahead. You are on a mission! Starting now, you are not to:

  • Call him
  • Text him
  • Contact him on social media (no emails, liking or commenting on pictures, tagging or mentioning him in any post, and no, not even sharing memes!)
  • Spend time with mutual friends to meet him
  • Visit places where you have a high chance of running into him unless there isn’t any other option

It is important to do this not only for him to realize how much he misses you but also for you to work on yourself! Instead of moping around and watching romcoms with a tub of ice cream, take this time to do things on your own. se this time for self-reflection and personal growth. Go out with your friends, explore new places, take up a new hobby, or pamper yourself! Don’t think of how to get your ex-boyfriend to come back or go through his texts and social media posts to analyze them. For now, just let the stress go, and you will see how good it is for you.

protip_icon Pro Tip
Use this time away from each other to analyze the factors that led to the end of the relationship but do not obsess over tiny details. Try to look at the bigger picture, discuss with friends and obtain a new perspective to approach getting back together.

During this self-improvement phase, make sure you do nothing that might lead to problems in rebuilding the relationship with your ex. The important thing is to keep your temper under control and avoid broadcasting your grievances against your ex. This period should be about understanding what you truly want from the relationship and whether getting back together is really worth it.

Step 2: Do Not Badmouth Your Ex

Get your ex boyfriend back by not being bitter about him
Image: Shutterstock

We get it — breakups hurt. But, if you want to convince your ex-boyfriend to get back together, you must never badmouth him or spill his secrets, no matter how much he hurt you. Sure, you can cry your eyes out while complaining to your closest chums, but avoid being bitter about him. If these words reach your ex, he is more likely to distance himself from you, and we don’t want that, do we now?

If you are working on getting your ex-boyfriend back permanently, you have to ignore the instincts that tell you to do certain things right after breaking up. Head to the next section to learn about the actions you should refrain from to win your ex back.

Step 3: Ignore Your Instincts

Get your ex boyfriend back by ignoring your instincts
Image: Shutterstock

This is probably the hardest step to follow, especially when you are vulnerable and driven by emotions after the hurtful breakup. But you have to push through!
Below is a list of instincts you should avoid:

  • Letting Him Treat You Any Way He Wants: Your dignity is always more important than any relationship — romantic or otherwise. It is important not to obsess over your ex-boyfriend. If you allow someone to take you for granted because you want them back in your life, you are only giving them the power to treat you in whichever way they like. Instead, use the ‘no-contact period’ to make sure you avoid making this mistake.
  • Begging Him To Come Back: Being desperate to get your ex-boyfriend back will only push him further away. Yes, times are tough, but when you start begging him, you come across as needy and clingy. It may make your ex-boyfriend feel suffocated instead of making him feel loved. Respect his boundaries and give him time instead of thinking about how to get your ex-boyfriend back in a day.
  • Smothering Him With Affection: If your relationship was a serious one, your ex-boyfriend already knows that you love him. So, avoid showering him with excess love if you sincerely wish to get your ex-boyfriend back without looking desperate. Over-the-top gestures of love may prove to be a big turnoff for him.
  • Getting Jealous: We know that seeing your ex with someone else right after your breakup isn’t exactly a pretty sight. However, before you start typing ‘how to get back your ex-boyfriend after he cheated’ in a search engine, take a deep breath.

Just because he is hanging out with someone else doesn’t mean they are dating. And even if they are, it is possibly a rebound relationship that is unlikely to harm your strategies of getting back together with your ex-boyfriend. Being jealous will only highlight your negative emotions, so try and keep it in check. In addition, don’t try to make him jealous by talking about other guys. It’s not the time to be petty, but to buckle up and work on how to get your ex-boyfriend back now!

Once the four weeks are over, and you have realized that you don’t need to depend on a particular person for love, that you are enough for yourself, and that you will be okay even if things don’t work out in your favor, you are ready to contact him. Keep scrolling to know how you should get back in touch and present yourself after this period of absence.

Step 4: Reach Out At The Right Time

Get your ex boyfriend back by reaching out at the right time
Image: Shutterstock

Don’t sweat over how to get back in touch with your ex-boyfriend after no contact. Let the conversation flow smoothly. If you approach him through text, avoid beginning with “Hey! I miss you. We should get back together!” Instead, ask him how he is and fill in each other about what you have been doing during your time apart.

Stay casual, cheerful, and confident. Don’t let him know of the times you have slipped up and cried or looked up tips to get him back. Emphasize the productive work you have been doing. Once your ex-boyfriend sees how you have let go of any negative aspect holding you back, he will hint at getting back together, and you won’t have to stress about anything.

protip_icon Quick Tip
Take things slow after getting back together with your ex. You can start with a trial period and take a next, more permanent step when you both feel ready.

When the time is right, address the elephant in the room. Make sure not to be bitter about it. Just address the issue and discuss what went wrong in a mature way. Be honest and transparent about your feelings and the issues that led to the breakup. A superficial reconnection without properly addressing the underlying issues will always end in another breakup. If he’s ready, you will get back together in no time. If not, be patient, and remember that sometimes you have to remove good things in life to welcome better things.

Whether you grew apart over time and due to circumstances, or one of you chose to walk away, you may be tempted to get your ex back into your life. While the above tips and tricks may tell you how to get your boyfriend back, you must give him some time and space before taking any step in that direction. While the idea of your ex returning to you may seem enticing and hopeful, you should weigh all options carefully before you decide to make things work further. Resolving issues amicably and maturely can help bridge gaps and differences. However, it is also important to be vocal about any toxic traits and understand if you two are truly compatible or not. Open communication about your expectations and boundaries would help make things clear.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do you know if your ex will come back?

If your ex has not blocked your number, tried to get in touch with you, attended events where you go, or admitted they are unhappy after the breakup, then these are some signs that your ex will come back.

How do you know your ex is happy without you?

If they don’t follow your social media accounts or they don’t try to stay in touch with you, then these are some common signs that your ex is happy without you.

How do I know if my ex has moved on?

Communication is the key to any relationship. If communication dwindles, interactions become less fun, or if your ex avoids the places you frequent, these are signs that your ex has moved on.

Key Takeaways

  • Before trying ways to get your ex-boyfriend back, you should be sure that it is worth the effort.
  • Take out some time for yourself and work on improving your skill set to help you become a more confident person before contacting him again.
  • Remain cheerful and cordial to keep your interactions healthy and balanced.

Discover the secret to getting back your ex-boyfriend. Get expert advice to do it right with an effective strategy and how to avoid the situation later in the relationship.

Recommended Articles

Was this article helpful?
Bayu Prihandito

Bayu PrihanditoLife Coach

Bayu Prihandito is a life coach, a certified psychology consultant, and an RYT 200 yoga teacher. He is also the founder of Life Architekture, a platform focusing on relationships, mindfulness, emotional Intelligence, and personal development. Bayu integrates his expertise to offer comprehensive and holistic guidance to his clients. His mission is to help them align their lives with their full bio

Latest Articles