How To Get Your Life Together – 13 Ways To Get Back On Track

Simple and effective ways to break the downward spiral of negativity and move ahead

Reviewed by Ronald Hoang, Relationship & Family Counselor Ronald Hoang Ronald HoangRelationship & Family Counselor linkedin_iconyoutube_icon
Written by , MA (English Literature), Certified Relationship Coach Shivani Chandel MA (English Literature), Certified Relationship Coach linkedin_icon Experience: 4 years
Edited by , BSc Shatabdi Bhattacharya BSc linkedin_icon Experience: 2.5 years
Fact-checked by , Integrated MA, Certified Relationship Coach Sneha Tete Integrated MA, Certified Relationship Coach Experience: 4 years

Even the most experienced adults sometimes lack the wisdom to cope with life’s challenges. So, when life gets tough, you may wonder what got out of hand and how to get your life together back again. The bottom line is that we want an organized life.

Each of us has different ways to get our lives back on track. For example, a teenager may set and follow a timetable to improve grades or save money to go to a better college – one of their goals to secure their future. As an adult, it could mean managing finances, saving money, going out on dates, or getting a good night’s sleep.

Every individual defines putting their life together differently, so the path to reach that goal will be unique. Yet, the basic process of building an organized life is the same for everyone.

Now that we are all caught up let’s dive into how getting your life together actually works. We will start by answering a critical question. Scroll down.

Are You Struggling With Getting Your Life Together?

Things might seem like they’re not going your way – like it’s more of a bad week, month, or year than just a bad day. Even simple tasks may seem annoying because of overworking and fatigue. This is a common scenario in many people’s lives. But, usually, everyone has that “eureka” moment filled with an extra ounce of motivation and adrenaline when they say, “I want to get my life together.” To help you on this noble quest, we bring you some ways to get your life together. Keep reading!

13 Things You Can Do To Get Your Life Together

1. Question Yourself

Relax, we are not telling you to write an exam! Just take some time to get to know yourself. Introspect and figure out what exactly it is that you want in life. Do you already partially have what you want? Then, what is it that you are missing? Or, is what you want miles away from the direction that your life is heading in right now? By asking yourself these questions, you will be able to gain clarity on what you want in life. Take your time to understand yourself, your needs, and your wants. Don’t try to rush into anything, and go about it in a methodical manner.

2. Be Honest With Yourself

Sometimes, consciously or unconsciously, you end up lying to yourself. It could be about your problems or your level of happiness or sadness. Such denial can only hurt you in the long run. It is really important to understand it is not only extremely unhealthy but also actively holding back from reaching your true potential. Start being honest with yourself and take baby steps to correct all the things going wrong in your life.

3. Change The Way You Talk About Yourself

Only when you view yourself in a positive light will you be able to walk, talk, and speak confidently. Learn what makes you stand taller and figure out all the things that make you sad, happy or excited. These things help you understand yourself better, which then boosts your self-confidence. Your confidence and the way you carry yourself is an indicator of your self-respect.

4. Understand Your Strengths And Weaknesses

Your strengths and weaknesses are not only reserved for your resume. It is important for you to know these to keep improving your current self. It’s not a race – you don’t need to run toward a goal of having a high number of strengths and few weaknesses. Instead, acknowledge what you have and what you lack, and keep working on them steadily.

5. Simplify Your Life

To accomplish your tasks in an organized manner, make a plan of action and follow it. This will help you prioritize tasks that are urgent, not important, and important but not urgent. Have you heard of the time matrix? It is an easy way to organize your tasks and chores in the most manageable manner.

6. Prioritize Tasks

Learn to prioritize your tasks to manage your time better. Look for tasks you can do fast while making sure you do the important ones first. Make a to-do list of everything you need to get done and estimate the time each task will take. Rank them according to importance. This will make you more efficient in dealing with your work and ensure you meet your deadlines.

7. Talk To People (But Don’t Complain)

Talk to the people in your life to figure out what areas you are lacking in. This can give you insight into things that you may not have even realized you were doing wrong. You can also find new people to talk to. This will help you broaden your network of connections and make you slowly become more confident.

Sometimes, you may tend to start whining and complaining in the midst of talking about your life. Try to notice if you are doing this and put a stop to it. While ranting to a few close trusted friends and confidantes and letting it out is a good thing, it may sometimes get excessive and cause people to distance themselves from you. This will make your relationships and interactions with them uncomfortable and awkward. Be mindful of their time and make sure you only engage them in meaningful conversation.

8. Make Healthy Life Choices

Yes, it’s extremely hard to not binge-watch that latest show you’re crazy about or to not order pizza for the third time this week… But, only through resisting these small guilty pleasures can you improve your health and your life. Making healthy life choices does not happen overnight, and you can’t flip a switch for this either. It takes time, so start small. Try sleeping early, eating healthy, working out regularly, and showing yourself some love. All of these things require you to take baby steps and continue working on them in the long run. Life is not a race, and you don’t have to compete with anyone when getting your life together.

9. Try The ‘10-Minute Rule’ With Your Significant Other

Have you heard of the 10-minute rule before? If not, here’s how it goes: out of the 24 hours that you get in a day, try to put just 10 minutes aside for your partner. This is the time that you’re giving each other, so do not talk about work, stress, chores, kids, or anyone else. This time is for the two of you to connect. So, talk about each other, tell them how much they mean to you, or discuss any issues you two may be facing. You can even try giving each other relaxing massages to release the stress of the day. Be creative!

10. Switch Your Daily Chores

Repeating the same things over and over can be exhausting. Even if it is something you like – like painting or writing – you tend to fall into a slump. Chores around the house take it to another level of monotony. Switching up your chores every day can make things interesting for you. List down the things you do around the house and figure out which ones you find the hardest to do. Then, schedule them a few days apart throughout the week so you don’t get stuck doing them all in one day. This is a good way to ensure that you keep your surroundings (and yourself) clean and get your life together.

protip_icon Quick Tip
Decluttering can be an excellent way of reducing the possibility of distractions. Organizing your living and working areas may help you clear your mind and boost productivity.

11. Start Positive Self-Affirmations Or A Gratitude Journal

Sometimes, with the whole hectic nature of your day-to-day life, you may forget to be grateful for what you have. It is important that you consciously express thankfulness for all that you have in your life. You can do so by maintaining a gratitude journal. It is really simple – every day, write down three things you are grateful for. It could be related to your day — like someone holding the door for you — or it could be related to your life in general — you have people who support you. Write it down and acknowledge it. At the same time, do not forget to thank yourself. You are who lives your life and tackles your problems, so let yourself know. Show yourself some love. Thank yourself for being there for you. Forgive yourself for being too harsh on you. Tell yourself ’I love you.’ You can also start saying positive affirmations to yourself every morning to practice self-love and manifest all the things you want in your life.

12. Get Rid Of The Negative People In Your Life

Negativity, in general, is something you should avoid as much as you can. But, sometimes, negativity comes into your life in the form of negative people. They are those friends, colleagues, or relatives that can be described with one small word – toxic. They criticize the most minute things about you, give you backhanded compliments, and make sure to rain on your parade. It is important to understand and make peace with the fact that you can’t keep everyone you know happy and close to you, especially if they are a source of negativity in your life. So, while it may seem tough and make you feel bad, it is best if you start distancing yourself from the negative people in your life. Over time, you’ll find that they don’t have as much of a hold on you as they used to.

13. Set Boundaries

Setting boundaries does not imply that you have to erect a wall around yourself. It is about setting limits and finding time and space for your personal needs. When you do not have boundaries, you may be tossed and turned by people and their demands, ending with little energy and time for yourself. The first step is to feel and understand your worth and stop people from walking over you. Create and plan your agenda, and do not put other people’s needs before yours unless it is dire. Ponder over the stop signs you need to put up. These boundaries may be physical, emotional, or behavioral. Learn to say ‘no’ and be in control of your life.

Remember that change is often not about willingness, but about breaking the process down into smaller steps. If you have bigger goals, break them down into smaller goals to establish a path. Take smaller steps and keep tracking your progress until you succeed.

These are some effective ways to start getting your life together. If you would like to do it in a systematic manner, follow the checklist given below.

Tips To Get Your Life Together – A Checklist

There are many things that may act as a hurdle toward your progress. Therefore, here are some tips you can follow to get your life together:

  1. Make a plan for change, and stick to it.
  2. Be grateful for everything that comes your way – good or bad, everything is a lesson.
  3. Be organized about not just your things but also your schedules.
  4. Find a starting point for change.
  5. Don’t waste your energy complaining about trivial matters.
  6. Think about your dreams constantly – they will act as a motivator to achieve them.
  7. Turn those dreams into goals – only dreaming won’t get you anywhere.
  8. Focus your energy on the important things
  9. Surround yourself with optimistic thoughts, people, and events.
  10. Sacrificing is a part of the journey.
  11. Redefine your habits according to your goals.
  12. Face your fears and overcome them.
  13. Accept the setbacks and work to overcome them.
  14. Keep the people around who add to your growth and do not hinder you.
  15. A pet can help relieve stress, and taking care of it can teach you how to be responsible.

A survey that included 1,275 American adults, including 885 pet owners, found that more than half of the pet owners (52%) got a pet for companionship. 49% of them got a pet to provide them with a good home. Yet another 40% acquired a pet to improve their mental health.

  1. Materialism will not bring you true happiness.
  2. Find your true self.
  3. Save your money. Don’t spend it on things you don’t need.
  4. Figure out what gets you hyped up and take out time to do it regularly.
  5. Accept yourself and your emotions – both positive and negative.
  6. Practice what you preach.
  7. Experience everything so you don’t regret it later.
  8. Live in the moment.
  9. Get rid of the excess things in your life.
  10. Spend some quality time building your relationships.
  11. Being proactive is better than being reactive.
  12. Do not try to rush into anything – take your time.
  13. Work on your communication skills to improve every aspect of your life.
protip_icon Pro Tip
Rather than dwelling on the goal, develop and focus on habits that are required to achieve it. For example, if you want a fitter body, make a habit of working out for at least 15 minutes a day.

Wondering by what age you should have your life together? Find out in the next section.

At What Age Should You Have Your Life Together?

There is no specific age at which you should have your life together. The meaning of it changes with the needs of the specific age.

Society has conditioned us to believe that you should have everything figured out by your mid to late 20s. But, true wisdom comes from trial and error, learning from the stories we are told, and watching others try and fail at things. This growth can happen at any time and at any age.

It is never too late to start sorting your life out and making your situation better. Therefore, don’t be burdened by the benchmark deadlines set by society. It is okay to not have found your perfect partner yet, to try and get better friends, to upgrade your social life, to move on from an unsatisfactory job, or even prioritize your sleep cycle over a social event. And most importantly, it is absolutely alright to think of your needs, your wants, your goals, and yourself before anyone else.

If you have been wondering how to get your life together, the tips discussed in this post can help. What is important is taking responsibility for where you are and how you have reached here. You must then take encouragement from the fact that, as long as you are breathing, you have the power to change your life and get it back on the track that you desire. Finally, don’t let anyone get you down. Just keep working hard towards your goals and dreams and make them come true.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do you get on top of life?

Believing in yourself and putting constant effort into your goals in life will help you get on top of life. Also, follow the methods discussed in the article to get back on track.

Why do I have no motivation to do anything?

Stress, boredom, lack of commitment, and not trusting yourself can be the reasons behind your lack of motivation. However, it varies for different people. So, it is best to understand your issues and work on them.

What does losing yourself feel like?

You may feel nothing is in your control, distressed, and sad. These are some emotions you experience when you feel like losing yourself. It is always best to seek help if you go through these emotions.

How do I love myself and be happy?

Meditation, reading, doing things you like, acknowledging your victories, surrounding yourself with people you like, finding personal time and space, and forgiving yourself are some methods that help you love yourself.

Do you have to hit rock bottom to change?

No, you do not have to hit rock bottom to change. But, instead of struggling alone, seek help, and take control of the situation. That’s the only way to initiate positive change without hitting rock bottom.

Key Takeaways

  • Start being honest with yourself and correct all the things going wrong in your life.
  • Acknowledge what you have and what you lack, and keep working on your strengths.
  • Distance yourself from the negative people in your life.

Sometimes overworking can make you overwhelmed, so it is important to take some time off your busy schedule and focus on yourself. Watch the following video to learn more about some self-care and glow-up tips.

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Ronald Hoang

Ronald HoangRelationship & Family Counselor

Ronald Hoang is a clinical counselor/psychotherapist based in Sydney, Australia, with close to a decade of experience. He graduated with a bachelor's degree in psychology from Macquarie University and a postgraduate degree in counseling from the Australian College of Applied Professions. He has received training in Emotionally Focused Therapy, Post-Milan Systemic Family Therapy, Gottman Method, Play Therapy Dimensions, and full bio

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