How To Heal From A Toxic Relationship

Written by Harini Natarajan , Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner

Certain relationships drain you and affect your self-esteem even after you get out of them. That is why you need to learn how to heal from a toxic relationship and build yourself back. This emotional journey needs loads of self-love, patience, and time.

When your trust is broken, and you are carrying trauma, it is a good idea to have a good support system and to seek therapy. However, it may seem intimidating – so we suggest taking baby steps. A good place to start is our comprehensive guide on healing from a toxic relationship. Read on to rediscover your free, peaceful, and happy self!

Ways To Detox Your Life From A Toxic Relationship

1. Follow The No-Contact Rule

You do not have to look back once you have decided to end the relationship that was no longer serving you. Say goodbye to the toxic person and promise not to connect with them in the future. It may feel a bit hard initially, but this will prove beneficial to you in the long run.

If you cannot break all ties with that person due to personal or professional commitments, try to limit your contact. This type of relationship should be formal and not involve any emotions.

2. Have No Regrets

Healing from a toxic relationship gets easy when you do not regret or doubt your decision. Understand no one is perfect, and breakups are a part of life. Do not consider your breakup as your loss but take it as an opportunity to grow in life. Come out of the self-blame game and make peace with your decision.

3. Embrace Forgiveness

Forgive yourself and the person involved in the relationship you decided to end. Holding grudges in your mind will not let you live in peace. Forget what and who hurt you in the past and let go of any bitterness.

4. Focus On The Present

Digging up the past or being too stressed about the future will make you feel unhappy even if you have everything you need to be happy. Remember, relationships are important in life, but you should not depend on them for happiness and peace. Think about the good things you have in your life and enjoy them to the fullest. Being mindful of the present will help take away stress, and you will be more at peace.

5. Make Time For Yourself And Do What You Love

The entire process to heal from a toxic relationship starts with ‘you.’ You need to love yourself, devote time to yourself, and do what you fancy. Value your self-interest and stop putting your efforts into satisfying the other person.

This is the time to do things for yourself. Pamper yourself in ways that make you happy. Pursue your goals and indulge in things that keep you occupied and satisfied. Do photography, write a journal, or try a dance class. Practice things that de-stress you, like listening to music, enjoying in a hot bubble bath, gardening, watching your favorite show, or whatever floats your boat.

6. Prioritize Your Health Over Everything

Your relationship, be it with your partner, friends, or family members, can affect your quality of life. Research shows that social relationships affect your mental and physical health and impact health habits and mortality risk (1). A toxic relationship can lead to chronic emotional stress, trauma, and health issues.

To overcome the negative effects, practice self-care. Take care of your overall health by eating right, exercising, and following a healthy lifestyle. Get a health check-up done to ensure your physical health is not compromised. Practice meditation and indulge in positive self-talk daily.

7. Focus On Positive People In Your Life

If you are healing from a toxic relationship, you may need support from your near and dear ones. Surround yourself with positive people and ask them to help you get through the tough times. Count on people who care for your well-being.

Spending time with friends and family will boost your mood and confidence. Go out for dinner, shopping, or a simple stroll in the park with your loved ones. Being around positive people will let you see the bright side of life and enhance your self-esteem.

8. Talk To A Therapist

It is wise to consult a therapist if you cannot overcome the negative aftermath of a toxic relationship all by yourself. A certified therapist will help you develop self-confidence. They might also help you understand what you want from a relationship so that you can make the right move before entering a new relationship.

Getting rid of people whom you once loved can be hard but not impossible. We tend to attract toxic people or deal with toxicity because we value others more than ourselves. Also, if you are a people-pleaser, you find it difficult to turn down their requests. Here are some ways to deal with toxic people and recover from a traumatic relationship.

How To Get Rid Of Toxic People

  •  Set boundaries. Do not let a toxic person become your weakness.
  •  Practice self-compassion, self-care, and self-acceptance.
  •  Surround yourself with positive people and those who genuinely care for you.
  •  Realize that it is not only your duty to solve your relationship problems.
  •  Look for people who can be your support system.
  •  Prefer your happiness over other people and their desires.

A toxic relationship can lead to cumulative damage even after you have ended it. It can make you feel like a victim and engender heart-wrenching events like suicide and self-harm. The trauma can even lead to serious mental issues, such as depression, stress, eating disorders, and low self-esteem. The aftermath can also potentially impact your present and future relationships.

To overcome the negative scenarios, realize your importance and worth and become mentally and physically happy and healthy again. Given below are tips for self-care after a toxic relationship ends.

Taking Care Of Yourself After Your Toxic Relationship Ends

1. Do Not Allow That Individual To Reside In Your Heart

The people we love tend to occupy a place in our hearts, and a part of that goes with them when they leave. But you do not have to think this way! You will undoubtedly feel empty, but give yourself time to heal. You do not have to hate that person – just let them go once and for all.

2. Be Patient With Yourself

Healing from a toxic relationship will not be successful if you are not patient with yourself. Give yourself time to heal, no matter how long it takes. Understand that drifting apart from someone and restarting your life without them takes time. You may get angry, anxious, and frustrated while healing. However, try to stay calm and be kind and gentle with yourself. The best way to do that is by writing positive thoughts and reading them after walking up and before going to bed.

3. Embrace Who You Are

Bad relationships can make you feel bad about yourself. You may think it is your fault and what you have done is not right. However, you need to think the other way round! Stay firm wherever you are – unabashed and indomitable.

Practicing self-acceptance can improve your emotional well-being. But that does not mean you do not have to accept your negatives. Embrace your virtues. Also, accept your negative qualities and try to work on them.

4. Do Not Think You Are A Victim

Get rid of your victim mentality, as it will take away your power and independence. Instead, regard yourself as a survivor who has risen from the ashes like a phoenix and is ready to overcome obstacles.

5. Make New Memories

Let go of the past and plan to live your life in a new way. Make new memories and do new things that intrigue you the most. Take on challenging tasks and indulge in hobbies with people who love you.

If you love traveling, plan a weekend getaway with your buddies. Take photographs on the way, try new foods, meet new people, and participate in fun activities. Once you are back from the trip, relive those moments, and plan your next trip.

6. Overcome Negative Thoughts

Do not allow negative thoughts to rent a space in your mind. One way to get rid of them is by practicing meditation. Start and end your day with a bright smile on your face. Practice gratefulness and take time out from your schedule to volunteer for a social cause.

7. Reckon What You Want From A Relationship

You can start thinking about what you want from your relationship before diving into prospects. Identify your values and look for them in your next romantic partner.

Do you need someone who can help fulfill your professional goals? Or a person who can communicate effectively? Realize that you deserve a healthy relationship and the kind of love and care you are willing to give to others. Do not rush into a relationship simply because you need someone. Take your time to heal and find the kind of person you want in your life.

Summing It Up

Although you do not have to work your fingers to the bone to detox your mind and life, the entire process of restarting everything needs a lot of patience and strength. Ditch the negativity and embrace positivity in your life. Love yourself and pay attention to your mental, emotional, and physical well-being. You can ask for support from your loved ones or a therapist if you are having a hard time. Last but not least, forgive and move on.


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  1. Social Relationships and Health: A Flashpoint for Health Policy
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