How To Help A Friend Through A Breakup – 12 Ways

Lend the sympathetic ear that your friend needs to help them get through a heartbreak.

Reviewed by Dr. Dorothee Ischler, DMFT, LMFT, LP Dr. Dorothee Ischler Dr. Dorothee IschlerDMFT, LMFT, LP twitter_iconlinkedin_iconyoutube_iconinsta_icon
Written by , Integrated MA, Certified Relationship Coach Sneha Tete Integrated MA, Certified Relationship Coach linkedin_icon Experience: 4 years
Edited by , MA (English) Asmita De MA (English) linkedin_icon Experience: 3 years
Fact-checked by , MA Gracia Odile MA linkedin_icon Experience: 3 years
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If you want to know how to help a friend through a breakup, you have landed on the right page. Breakups can be devastating and cause a lot of misery to the person going through it. In case, this person is a close friend, it becomes one of your responsibility to be there for them. It is their time to grieve, and it might take them some time to accept the situation. Emotions like resentment and anger are heightened at this point, and your friend will need reassurance that you will be by their side. The best way to handle this situation is to let them feel all the contrasting emotions and provide them with constant support. A broken heart is not always rational, and that’s why you need to remind them of their worth. Swipe up for more information.

How To Help A Friend Through A Breakup?

We know the urge to cuss out or punch the person causing distress to your friend is high, but calm down, take a deep breath, and focus on your friend. Punching the perpetrator is not going to make your friend feel better. What will make them feel better though is helping them through this awful period in their life. Check out all the ways you can help your friend through a breakup in the next section.

12 Ways To Help A Friend Through A Breakup

1. Keep Your Door Open

What your friend may need the most at this time is you being there for them, and maybe a change of scenery. So, let them know that you are always there for them and allow them to find you whenever they want to. Keep your door open to them, and maybe even let them crash at your place for a few days. Have a friends’ night in, set up a home spa, and relax. This will help them

2. Be Patient, Listen, And Respond

In the aftermath of the breakup, there may be a lot of hysterics and tears, or the exact opposite, like self-isolation and lamenting. Be patient with your friend’s emotional outbursts or lack of them. Allow them to open up on their accord and in their own time. Bashing their ex may not be productive – it will just serve as a reminder of the breakup. So try not to bring them up too often. Instead, be mindful and empathetic while responding to their rants or outbursts.

protip_icon Pro Tip
Breakups can impact the self-esteem of the individual. Being a friend, you can provide reassurance of their strengths.

3. Keep An Eye On Them

Keep checking in on them and make sure they are alright. But at the same time, do not mother them too much! Remember, you are trying to help and not annoy them with the constant hovering. You may be really worried for them and want to make sure that they don’t end up doing something stupid or harmful, but give them time. If you keep hovering over them too much, they may just go into a shell instead of opening up to you. A broken heart takes time to heal, and over time, your friend will be back to normal. So stay calm and let the pain run its course.

protip_icon Quick Tip
Instead of becoming a shoulder to cry, you can try to cheer them up by taking part in activities and hobbies. This will boost their confidence. However, make sure that you aren’t pushy.

4. Let Them Know That They Are Better Off Without Their Ex

Sometimes, what really helps a person feel better is hearing about their strengths. So, listen to your friend rant, then let them know that they are better off without the person who broke their heart. Let them know that they are an amazing person and friend, and the fact that you are there for them shows how much they mean to you. A good pep talk can build their confidence and show them their own worth.

5. Be Their Beacon Of Logical Reasoning

After a breakup, your friend is bound to be an emotional mess, and they have every right to! Their heart was just broken, but this does not mean they get to do whatever they want. Be their voice of reason. Stop them from doing anything that is illegal or that can seriously harm them or their ex. This included things like getting blackout drunk and going over to their ex’s place to wreak havoc.

6. Be Mindful Of Their Feelings

Sometimes, it’s easy to misinterpret when someone is leaning on you for help. It is imperative that you understand that no one is forcing you to help them. If you do feel compelled to help them, that’s on you. It is important that you do not get frustrated or start to order them around in the guise of helping them. Be mindful of their feelings and be empathetic. As frustrating as it may seem, keep calm. Maintain a cool state of mind when you deal with them. When someone’s filled up to the brim with emotions, it takes time to let it all out and let go of all the feelings they had invested in the relationship.

7. Understand That What You’re Doing Is Not A Job

As a friend, you’ll always want to help them out and make sure they get back on track. But it is important to understand that getting their life in order is their job, not yours. You can be there for them, support them, cry with them – but you cannot fix them. Only your friend can do that.

8. Let Them Know About Your Emotional Energy And Time

It’s fine to admit when you are not at your emotional best to give them your all when it comes to listening to them. If you have an appointment or an urgent meeting, you cannot delay that for your friend. And if you’re completely drained after a hard day’s work, you cannot give your 100% to your friend. So while you may feel a bit guilty, it is important that you tell them when you do not have the time or energy to listen to them. This does not mean you snub them, of course. Let them know in a gentle manner if you have a prior engagement. If you are not at your emotional best, tell them that you are tired and you can have a chilled relaxation time with them instead. You don’t have to listen to them, but instead, you can put on some music, make some drinks, put on your favorite show, and distract yourself from life’s troubles together.

9. It Is Alright To Feel What They Feel

Many times, when a person goes through a breakup, they try to hide their pain and steel themselves against the world. Help them understand that it is completely fine to feel whatever they are feeling, be it sadness, anger, frustration, or plain emptiness. There is nothing shameful or weak about one’s feelings. So, allow them to feel whatever they are feeling. Let them know that it’s fine and that you’re there to wipe their tears, or buy them huge pints of ice cream, or just slouch on the couch watching sad movies. Remind them that only after they let themselves feel their feelings and let them all out can their heart and mind begin to heal.

10. Remind Them This Too Shall Pass

Remind your friend that all this pain will fade away with time and that this too shall pass. At this point of time, they may be feeling miserable and lonely and scared that they will never again find someone like their ex or feel love like that again. But, as a friend, let them know that this grief and loneliness will pass, and they will come out of it a better and stronger person. Encourage them to take steps toward betterment and going back to normalcy. Help them not lose hope and continue pushing through. It may be hard, but know that they can get out of this. Voice out your belief in them to them. Sometimes, having a person who trusts you can be what motivates you to do better and move forward.

11. Plan A Movie Night

Organizing a movie night is a thoughtful and entertaining way to support a friend going through a breakup. Choose a lineup of feel-good comedies or inspiring adventures that inspire independence and resilience. Create a comfortable and inviting atmosphere in your living room with plush pillows and soft blankets to mimic a cozy cinema experience. Stock up on your friend’s favorite snacks and a variety of beverages to binge on during the marathon.

12. Make Fun Plans

Creating and executing fun plans can be a great way of lifting a friend’s spirit after a breakup. Organize a day full of activities that will keep their mind off the heartache. Start with an energetic morning hike or a group fitness class. Plan a meal at a new or favorite restaurant for a memorable culinary adventure. Wrap up the day with an impromptu photo shoot in a scenic spot or a goofy karaoke session to lift their spirits.

You cannot completely block out the pain from a broken relationship. There are only so many ways in which you can help a friend through a breakup. As a friend, the best thing you can do for them is to provide constant support and care. Everyone processes breakups and heartaches differently. Your friend may not seem like the most rational person while trying to cope with a breakup, but you need to understand that while sometimes people crave companionship, at other times, they may need their space to practice self-love to grow after a breakup. Finally, the only thing you can do for them is to be there for them and check on them regularly.

Key Takeaways

  • The perfect way to support a friend going through a breakup is to let them experience all of their conflicting feelings and to be there for them at all times.
  • Keep your door open for them, and perhaps even invite them to stay with you for a few days.
  • Keep an eye on them to make sure they’re all right.
  • A decent pep talk can boost their self-esteem and show them how valuable they are.

Watch the following video to discover ways to support a friend dealing with a breakup and foster self-love awareness. The video shares some helpful tips on aiding friends through tough times. Click play to find out.

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Dr. Dorothee Ischler
Dr. Dorothee IschlerDMFT, LMFT, LP
Dr. Dorothee Ischler is a clinical psychologist and marriage and family therapist with over three decades of experience. She is a seasoned professional in mental health and relationship coaching, and her comprehensive understanding of individual, relational, and family dynamics fuels her commitment to fostering lasting bonds.

Read full bio of Dr. Dorothee Ischler
Sneha Tete
Sneha TeteBeauty & Lifestyle Writer
Sneha has a master's degree in Applied Linguistics from the University of Hyderabad, a professional Relationship Coach diploma, and over four years of experience in writing. She writes about relationships and lifestyle.Sneha began her career as an instructional designer, shifted to freelance technical and research writing, and self-published a novella on the theme of adolescent mental health.

Read full bio of Sneha Tete
Asmita De
Asmita DeAssociate Editor
Asmita De is an associate editor with over three years of experience. She graduated in English Literature from the University of Calcutta. She has collaborated with several digital companies and reputed publishing houses as an editor.

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Gracia Odile
Gracia OdileBeauty & Lifestyle Writer
Gracia Odile is a teacher-turned-beauty and lifestyle writer with three years of professional experience. She has a bachelor's degree in English from St. Stephen's College, a master's in Anthropology from the University of Madras, and a degree in education from GGSIPU.

Read full bio of Gracia Odile