What happens when trust is broken? Is it possible to rebuild trust in a relationship after it has been shattered? If yes, how does it happen? Trust is the foundation for any relationship, and a healthy relationship cannot prevail without trust.
Being the most essential component of a strong relationship, once trust is broken, reestablishing it can be a challenge. You need a considerable amount of dedication, commitment, and effort to rebuild trust. Picking up the broken pieces and trying to fix them can be difficult. Consistent and positive actions are key.
Though there is no one-size-fits-all approach towards rebuilding trust, the following ways can help. Read through and see how best you can make use of each to rebuild your relationship and preserve it.
10 Ways To Rebuild Trust In A Relationship
1. Consider The Reason Behind The Lie Or Betrayal
When betrayal happens, you might not be concerned about what caused it. You are just overwhelmed with emotions. What happened? When? Where? What circumstances led to this betrayal? All these are essential questions that will help you clarify the situation. People often lie when they don’t know what else to do. This doesn’t make their choice right, of course. But thinking through this can help you consider how you might have reacted in their position.
Your partner may have lied to you to protect themselves or they wanted to protect you from bad news. Knowing the real reasons behind their actions will help you decide if you’ll be able to rebuild the lost trust and faith.
2. Communicate And Work On Your Relationship
One of the most significant aspects to rebuild trust after a betrayal is to communicate and start working on your relationship. Observe your partner’s sincerity and give them a fair chance to talk. You may find it uncomfortable and emotionally draining – but you must see if your partner is genuinely remorseful for their actions or are just being defensive of them.
If you want to work on reconstructing your trust, make sure both of you are willing to work on the relationship. Miscommunications and misunderstandings can lead to further problems. A significant step towards reconstructing faith is simply checking in and making sure both parties are on board and are willing to put in the work to make the relationship happen.
To rebuild trust in your relationship, you have to take responsibility for your actions, own up to them, and most importantly, apologize for what you have done. Do not justify your actions with any excuses or lame explanations. Approach the apology with openness and let your partner ask you any questions that they may have about the situation.
Your partner has the right to be vexed about the breach of trust – so do not take their emotions with levity. Instead of dishing out a cold shoulder apology, be genuinely apologetic. You should admit your wrongs and seek forgiveness before they find out from someone else.
4. Learn To Forgive
If you want to repair your relationship after betrayal, you have to practice forgiveness and learn how to forgive your significant other. Forgiveness can be difficult, especially when your trust has been broken – but it is not impossible. Holding a grudge will create doubt, restlessness, and resentment in you and destroy your peace of mind.
But do understand that forgiveness doesn’t excuse your partner’s behavior – it only gives you peace. Try to see things from your partner’s perspective. Seeing someone else’s perspective can help you better understand the events that occurred and make them less personal. If you find yourself getting angry and frustrated, take a step back and try to remember the good qualities your partner has. Recognize that everyone has flaws and makes mistakes.
5. Don’t Withhold Your Feelings
It is natural to get overwhelmed with so many emotions when you discover that your trust has been broken. You may not know how to express yourself. But hiding or suppressing your feelings will lead to a host of unhealthy and negative emotions. Take some time off to identify and understand the myriad of emotions you’re experiencing – as this also can be good for your mental health. Whatever you feel at the moment – whether you need a good venting session, or want to cry, scream, or express your anger – please don’t keep it within yourself. Let your emotions out. This way, your partner will know what is going on in your mind.
6. Be Willing To Let Go
After communicating or letting out your feelings, you must stop dwelling in the past. Do not take your partner down memory lane and start referring to incidents that are not even closely related to what is happening in the present. Bringing up past offenses can ruin your present and break any chances of rebuilding trust. It can be challenging to start trusting someone who has lied to you before. But if you want to restore your bond, stop sulking and let go of what happened. Create a positive mantra and counter your painful thoughts. Reframe your mind for something positive that lies ahead of you.
7. Be Honest And Ask For What You Need
The key to strengthening any relationship is to have an open and honest conversation about what you want. If you’re working towards rebuilding trust in your relationship, be very honest about your needs and what your partner must do to reconstruct the relationship. What would help you feel more secure in this relationship? Please give it a thought and talk about the same with your partner. Once you identify your needs correctly, you’d know what to expect from the other person.
8. Create New Memories
Plan on creating new, everlasting memories and experiences together. It will help you both shift your focus from all the bad and negative that happened to something new and positive. Do things that will make you both reconnect positively. Memories are the building blocks of every relationship, and creating them will enrich your lives. New memories will instill a firm belief in both of you that you’re still capable of having happy interactions with each other.
9. Be Vulnerable
If you want your partner to deeply know and completely understand you, you have to be more vulnerable. There are many preconceived notions about the term ‘vulnerability’. Still, when you’re genuinely looking forward to strengthening your relationship after a breach of trust, it is important to keep your ego aside and be vulnerable. The ability to be susceptible requires you to believe that you are worthy of a deep connection. It allows you to feel genuinely heard and understood by your partner. Once you keep everything out in the open, you’ll feel loved, validated, and appreciated for who you are. This will create a strong level of intimacy with your partner.
10. Focus On The Future
When you’re trying to restore trust in a relationship, you must be willing to leave the past behind you. It might be challenging, but it’s not impossible. You and your partner must focus on what’s ahead rather than dwell on the past mistakes. As you know, communication is key. Have an open and honest conversation about how you both want to move forward into a new phase of your relationship and start things afresh. Design a vision of your future together. Remember to focus on both short-term and long-term goals to strike a healthy balance in your relationship.
Trust is the groundwork for every bond. A relationship flourishes when both the partners trust each other enough and are open to resolving conflicts. Trust can break in both severe and subtle ways, but that doesn’t mean the relationship has ended. With enough commitment and openness, you can rebuild trust and mend your relationship for good.
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