13 Ways To Reconnect With Your Spouse & Save Your Relationship

Ideas to help you bridge the gap and rekindle your connection for a healthy relationship

Reviewed by Michele Waldron, Psy.D, LADC-I, CSCT Michele Waldron Michele WaldronPsy.D, LADC-I, CSCT facebook_iconlinkedin_iconinsta_icon
Written by , MA (English Literature), Certified Relationship Coach Shivani Chandel MA (English Literature), Certified Relationship Coach Experience: 4 years
Edited by , MA (English) Subhrojyoti Mukherjee MA (English) Experience: 4 years
Fact-checked by , Integrated MA, Certified Relationship Coach Sneha Tete Integrated MA, Certified Relationship Coach linkedin_icon Experience: 4 years

Busy schedules, work stress, and traveling have increased the gap between couples. If you are facing the same issue and want to learn how to reconnect with your spouse, we have got you back. Marriage is a beautiful relationship, and the love you get from your spouse can turn it into a wonderful journey. However, you must also nurture marriage with constant love and affection like all other relationships. But, other personal and professional responsibilities force people to focus on their careers, neglecting this beautiful relationship, which can bring an emotional gap between the couple.

There are many ways to rekindle love and reconnect with your spouse. Taking your spouse out for dinner, writing letters of affection are some of the ways that can bridge the gap. In this article, we have listed some beautiful ideas for you to use to reconnect with your spouse. Continue reading to know more.

13 Ways To Reconnect With Your Spouse

1. Act On Their Love Language

According to Dr. Gary Chapman, there are five love languages to express it in the best possible way. They include physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, and acts of service. You have an idea about your spouse’s love language and the way he receives love. Do they respond better when you shower them with gifts or positive affirmations? Does physical touch help them feel connected? To reconnect with your spouse, tap on their love language to get closer to them and reconnect.

protip_icon Pro Tip
It’s important to pay attention to how your husband communicates with you. Take note of any issues he raises about your relationship and what he asks of you.

2. Cook Their Favorite Meal

Cook Their Favorite Meal
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Does your spouse love eating or appreciates the art of food? Is “the way to your man’s heart is through his stomach?” Then the best way to rekindle your connection is to cook them their favorite meal. No, you do not have to do it every day if you have a busy schedule. But do it frequently so that your efforts are noticed. Cooking them their favorite meal is a great way to say a thousand words without speaking one.

3. Draft Out “Us Time”

Finding time for yourself is tough if you have kids or demanding jobs. By the end of the day, it is natural to feel tired and immerse yourself in your phone before falling asleep. If this has been going on for too long, it could be eroding your relationship.

A smart way of breaking this cycle is to draft out time for the two of you. Block your calendar, set a reminder, put your mobile phone on silent mode, and send the kids for a sleepover or hire a babysitter for the night or day. Whether you choose to sip a little wine and talk, make love, reminisce about old times, or watch a movie together, enjoy the moment and the togetherness.

A blogger shared their experience about saving a relationship in their blog. They said, “I think every relationship needs nurturing. Even the best relationships can fall into ruts, get caught up in the daily routines, get rushed, stuffed, or forgotten (i).” They went on to add, “I think taking the time to invest in communication, one-on-one talking, secrets that you share, funny gossip, something you have learned…is so vital to the growth of any relationship”

4. Hum The Songs That You Both Like

Like fragrances, some songs can also remind you of old and special memories. Humming songs that take you back to good times together, the initial days of courtship, and fun times is a great way to subtly make your spouse know that you remember how you both fell in love. Subconsciously, your spouse will also start to respond by being less pulled away. You don’t need grand gestures. Doing small things also matters. Singing or humming songs changes the whole ambiance and mood of a house. It feels more home than just scattered gadgets and furniture inside four walls.

5. Go On A Weekend Getaway

Go On A Weekend Getaway
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Weekends are for relaxing and using the time to unload and unwind. But if you have been only sleeping in or channeling the whole energy into looking after the kids on the weekend, you will barely get to spend the time together. Yes, it can be difficult to leave the kids and go away, but is there a possibility that you both will be able to spend quality time if you take them along? That’s why it is best to take your kids to their grandma’s or a friend’s place that you can trust. Pack light and go on a weekend getaway with your spouse. You can revisit a familiar place or explore a new one. Relax, talk, hold hands, go on candlelit dinners, explore the place, and just be with each other.

6. Say “Thank You” To Show Gratitude

How often do you say “thank you”? Expressing gratitude by saying these two words is a great way to let your spouse know that you appreciate their smallest of efforts. Do not take each other or your relationship for granted. While you may not think that it is necessary to say thank you every time, subconsciously, it makes a difference when the other person feels respected and valued.

7. Get Them A Book To Read

If your spouse is an avid reader, what’s better than getting them a book that will interest them? This works well for couples in long-distance relationships as well. You can read, compare notes, and discuss the book together. Having intellectual conversations can rekindle your spouse’s attraction for you. However, it may not be a good idea to give a book that goes against your spouse’s beliefs if you have ideological differences. Instead, give them a book that they always wanted to read, or a book that they lost, or a book on certain skills that they wanted to learn for a long time.

8. Play Board Games

Play Board Games
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Instead of playing on your phone, pick up a board game. It is a date night without the pressure of being on a date. Pour some wine and sit for a good game of scrabble, Catan, carrom board, chess, monopoly, etc. You can ask your kid(s) to join in to have a fun time together. A healthy dose of laughter and competition can set the wheels of romance rolling.

9. Have A Wicked Night Away From Home

How long has it been that you were totally wicked in bed? Cannot remember? Well, it’s time that you wear your evil coat for the night and show your spouse who’s the boss. Having boring and routine sex is also a contributing factor to the small cracks in the relationship. Especially if your spouse’s love language is physical touch. It is best that you role play, flirt, and take time with foreplay. You could co-create a fantasy as foreplay, to act out later or at a designated time. Innovate ideas to seduce your spouse, wear unexpected lingerie (or gift one), and have this wicked rendezvous away from home.

10. Go On A Salsa Dance Date

Think your spouse would love a dance date night? Why not go on a spicy salsa dance class date? The sensual salsa moves will reinvigorate your spouse’s interest; it will be joyful for both of you as your move your bodies together and learn to coordinate with each other without talking, and diving deep into each other’s eyes, sparking the fire with your smiles is definitely going to bridge the gap and get you two closer.

11. Do Something New Together

Do Something New Together
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Couples generally fall prey to routines. Be it going to the same holiday spots or having over the same set of friends for a dinner party. It’s time to do something new together. It could be taking pottery classes together or backpacking in Iceland for the summer holidays. Break the monotony in your relationship. There’s so much more to the relationship that you are missing out on. Without wasting any more time, list out the things you both have never done together. Filter out the ones that your spouse is not sure of if they want to do (for example, skydiving or honey harvesting). Chalk out the plan and get on with it!

12. Apologize And Work On Issues Together

Anyone can make mistakes. However, mistakes can pile up if you are in a relationship for too long and have never owned your mistakes and apologized. A simple, heartfelt “sorry, I did not mean to hurt you” can change the direction of your relationship. Of course, if the distance between you two has grown too much, you cannot expect your spouse to be all lovey-dovey as soon as you apologize. Be patient and be kind. Put your points of dissatisfaction so that you both can come to a common ground of understanding and respecting each other’s boundaries.

protip_icon Pro Tip
While making an apology, mean it from the bottom of your heart. Frequent lame apologies without making any changes in your life will not serve the purpose. Insincere apologies can do more harm than good.

13. Ask Good Questions

Have a heart-to-heart conversation with your spouse
Image: Shutterstock

What we mean is, if considerable time has passed since you and your spouse had a heart-to-heart and you are no longer sure of their likes and dislikes, just ask them. At least, this will let them know you are taking a renewed interest in their life. Once you learn how they have evolved separately from you, you can ask more mindful questions that show you have been thinking about your conversations with them, convincing them that their thoughts and feelings matter to you. If they mention some new interests, ask them if they would like to teach or share an experience with you. Subsequently, invite them back into your life by sharing new things about yourself as well. Eventually, you both might grow comfortable enough to address what made you drift apart, and find ways to bridge that gap.

It is great to have a marriage where you can be yourself without being judged. It offers a sense of safety and comfort. However, we sometimes get too comfortable in our relationships and take the other person for granted. We don’t appreciate our partners enough, get careless with how we communicate, and gradually stop making any efforts. Many married couples drift away from each other this way. Soon, it gets to a point where the marriage looks utterly hopeless. But what matters is you have an intention to ignite fresh sparks in your relationship. Take inspiration from this article on reconnecting with your spouse and let your actions speak for you.

Frequently Asked Questions

What do I do when I don’t feel connected to my spouse?

You should take some time off to reflect on the situation. Try to understand if it’s just your partner’s deeds and actions, or whether your interests and priorities have changed as well. Whether it’s the lack of time you spend together or you both are not on the same page anymore. You can then work on the gaps to revive the relationship, given you still feel the same love and respect for your partner and vice-versa.

How do you get the spark back in a broken relationship?

The important thing is ultimately your willingness to work towards it. If you feel you still want to be with this person, you can work your way through it with the tips and suggestions shared above. Open communication and setting expectations right is important in reviving the connection.

Key Takeaways

  • Keeping the spark alive is essential to stay connected with your spouse amidst hectic work schedules and personal obligations.
  • Be it a weekly date night or just cooking for each other, breaking the monotony helps shuffle things up in your favor.
  • Taking time out to connect over your favorite activities or just spending your own “us time” makes sure you both feel loved and cared for.

Rekindle and strengthen your relationship with your spouse with suggestions from this video. Watch it now and explore new ways to nurture a fulfilling partnership and reconnect with your beloved on an emotional level.

Personal Experience: Source

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Michele Waldron

Michele WaldronPsy.D, LADC-I, CSCT

Dr. Waldron is a licensed clinical psychologist, certified couples counselor, licensed alcohol and drug counselor, and sex therapist. with 16 years of experience. She received her Psy.D from Antioch University, New England. She has a group practice that supports adults’ relationships and sexual health. Dr. Waldron is passionate about reducing sexual shame, which causes significant mental health challenges. She helps...read full bio

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