13 Ways To Reconnect With Your Spouse & Save Your Relationship

13 Ways To Reconnect With Your Spouse

1. Act On Their Love Language

According to Dr. Gary Chapman, there are five love languages to express it in the best possible way. They include physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, and acts of service. You have an idea about your spouse’s love language and the way he receives love. Do they respond better when you shower them with gifts or positive affirmations? Does physical touch help them feel connected? To reconnect with your spouse, tap on their love language to get closer to them and reconnect.

Pro Tip

It’s important to pay attention to how your husband communicates with you. Take note of any issues he raises about your relationship and what he asks of you.

2. Cook Their Favorite Meal

Does your spouse love eating or appreciates the art of food? Is “the way to your man’s heart is through his stomach?” Then the best way to rekindle your connection is to cook them their favorite meal. No, you do not have to do it every day if you have a busy schedule. But do it frequently so that your efforts are noticed. Cooking them their favorite meal is a great way to say a thousand words without speaking one.

3. Draft Out “Us Time”

Finding time for yourself is tough if you have kids or demanding jobs. By the end of the day, it is natural to feel tired and immerse yourself in your phone before falling asleep. If this has been going on for too long, it could be eroding your relationship.

A smart way of breaking this cycle is to draft out time for the two of you. Block your calendar, set a reminder, put your mobile phone on silent mode, and send the kids for a sleepover or hire a babysitter for the night or day. Whether you choose to sip a little wine and talk, make love, reminisce about old times, or watch a movie together, enjoy the moment and the togetherness.

A blogger shared their experience about saving a relationship in their blog. They said, “I think every relationship needs nurturing. Even the best relationships can fall into ruts, get caught up in the daily routines, get rushed, stuffed, or forgotten (i).” They went on to add, “I think taking the time to invest in communication, one-on-one talking, secrets that you share, funny gossip, something you have learned…is so vital to the growth of any relationship”

4. Hum The Songs That You Both Like

Like fragrances, some songs can also remind you of old and special memories. Humming songs that take you back to good times together, the initial days of courtship, and fun times is a great way to subtly make your spouse know that you remember how you both fell in love. Subconsciously, your spouse will also start to respond by being less pulled away. You don’t need grand gestures. Doing small things also matters. Singing or humming songs changes the whole ambiance and mood of a house. It feels more home than just scattered gadgets and furniture inside four walls.

5. Go On A Weekend Getaway

Weekends are for relaxing and using the time to unload and unwind. But if you have been only sleeping in or channeling the whole energy into looking after the kids on the weekend, you will barely get to spend the time together. Yes, it can be difficult to leave the kids and go away, but is there a possibility that you both will be able to spend quality time if you take them along? That’s why it is best to take your kids to their grandma’s or a friend’s place that you can trust. Pack light and go on a weekend getaway with your spouse. You can revisit a familiar place or explore a new one. Relax, talk, hold hands, go on candlelit dinners, explore the place, and just be with each other.

6. Say “Thank You” To Show Gratitude

How often do you say “thank you”? Expressing gratitude by saying these two words is a great way to let your spouse know that you appreciate their smallest of efforts. Do not take each other or your relationship for granted. While you may not think that it is necessary to say thank you every time, subconsciously, it makes a difference when the other person feels respected and valued.

7. Get Them A Book To Read

If your spouse is an avid reader, what’s better than getting them a book that will interest them? This works well for couples in long-distance relationships as well. You can read, compare notes, and discuss the book together. Having intellectual conversations can rekindle your spouse’s attraction for you. However, it may not be a good idea to give a book that goes against your spouse’s beliefs if you have ideological differences. Instead, give them a book that they always wanted to read, or a book that they lost, or a book on certain skills that they wanted to learn for a long time.

8. Play Board Games

Instead of playing on your phone, pick up a board game. It is a date night without the pressure of being on a date. Pour some wine and sit for a good game of scrabble, Catan, carrom board, chess, monopoly, etc. You can ask your kid(s) to join in to have a fun time together. A healthy dose of laughter and competition can set the wheels of romance rolling.

9. Have A Wicked Night Away From Home

How long has it been that you were totally wicked in bed? Cannot remember? Well, it’s time that you wear your evil coat for the night and show your spouse who’s the boss. Having boring and routine sex is also a contributing factor to the small cracks in the relationship. Especially if your spouse’s love language is physical touch. It is best that you role play, flirt, and take time with foreplay. You could co-create a fantasy as foreplay, to act out later or at a designated time. Innovate ideas to seduce your spouse, wear unexpected lingerie (or gift one), and have this wicked rendezvous away from home.

10. Go On A Salsa Dance Date

Think your spouse would love a dance date night? Why not go on a spicy salsa dance class date? The sensual salsa moves will reinvigorate your spouse’s interest; it will be joyful for both of you as your move your bodies together and learn to coordinate with each other without talking, and diving deep into each other’s eyes, sparking the fire with your smiles is definitely going to bridge the gap and get you two closer.

11. Do Something New Together

Couples generally fall prey to routines. Be it going to the same holiday spots or having over the same set of friends for a dinner party. It’s time to do something new together. It could be taking pottery classes together or backpacking in Iceland for the summer holidays. Break the monotony in your relationship. There’s so much more to the relationship that you are missing out on. Without wasting any more time, list out the things you both have never done together. Filter out the ones that your spouse is not sure of if they want to do (for example, skydiving or honey harvesting). Chalk out the plan and get on with it!

12. Apologize And Work On Issues Together

Anyone can make mistakes. However, mistakes can pile up if you are in a relationship for too long and have never owned your mistakes and apologized. A simple, heartfelt “sorry, I did not mean to hurt you” can change the direction of your relationship. Of course, if the distance between you two has grown too much, you cannot expect your spouse to be all lovey-dovey as soon as you apologize. Be patient and be kind. Put your points of dissatisfaction so that you both can come to a common ground of understanding and respecting each other’s boundaries.

Pro Tip

While making an apology, mean it from the bottom of your heart. Frequent lame apologies without making any changes in your life will not serve the purpose. Insincere apologies can do more harm than good.

13. Ask Good Questions

What we mean is, if considerable time has passed since you and your spouse had a heart-to-heart and you are no longer sure of their likes and dislikes, just ask them. At least, this will let them know you are taking a renewed interest in their life. Once you learn how they have evolved separately from you, you can ask more mindful questions that show you have been thinking about your conversations with them, convincing them that their thoughts and feelings matter to you. If they mention some new interests, ask them if they would like to teach or share an experience with you. Subsequently, invite them back into your life by sharing new things about yourself as well. Eventually, you both might grow comfortable enough to address what made you drift apart, and find ways to bridge that gap.

Frequently Asked Questions

What do I do when I don’t feel connected to my spouse?

You should take some time off to reflect on the situation. Try to understand if it’s just your partner’s deeds and actions, or whether your interests and priorities have changed as well. Whether it’s the lack of time you spend together or you both are not on the same page anymore. You can then work on the gaps to revive the relationship, given you still feel the same love and respect for your partner and vice-versa.

How do you get the spark back in a broken relationship?

The important thing is ultimately your willingness to work towards it. If you feel you still want to be with this person, you can work your way through it with the tips and suggestions shared above. Open communication and setting expectations right is important in reviving the connection.

Rekindle and strengthen your relationship with your spouse with suggestions from this video. Watch it now and explore new ways to nurture a fulfilling partnership and reconnect with your beloved on an emotional level.

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Michele WaldronPsy.D, LADC-I, CSCT

     

Dr. Waldron is a licensed clinical psychologist, certified couples counselor, licensed alcohol and drug counselor, and sex therapist. with 16 years of experience. She received her Psy.D from Antioch University, New England. She has a group practice that supports adults’ relationships and sexual health. Dr. Waldron is passionate about reducing sexual shame, which causes significant mental health challenges. She helps...more

Shivani ChandelBeauty & Lifestyle Writer

 

Shivani Chandel is a postgraduate in English literature from Panjab University, Chandigarh and a certified relationship coach. She has four years of experience in copy editing and writing about entertainment, health, lifestyle, and beauty. She is a self-professed foodie and dog lover and also enjoys dancing and traveling. Environmental activism, human psychology, and music manage to capture her fancy when...more

Subhrojyoti MukherjeeAssociate Editor

Subhrojyoti is an associate editor at StyleCraze with four years of experience. He has a master’s degree in English from Presidency University, Kolkata, and has also done a post-graduate certificate course in Editing and Publishing from Jadavpur University, Kolkata. He has a deep understanding of the nuances involved in beauty and lifestyle content. Prior to this, he worked across various...more

Sneha TeteBeauty & Lifestyle Writer

Sneha has a master's degree in Applied Linguistics from the University of Hyderabad, a professional Relationship Coach diploma, and over four years of experience in writing. She writes about relationships and lifestyle. Sneha began her career as an instructional designer, shifted to freelance technical and research writing, and self-published a novella on the theme of adolescent mental health. She also...more