7 Ways To Rekindle Your Marriage


by Arshiya Syeda

Marriages are indeed made in heaven, but love has to be kindled or rekindled on Earth. A marriage that has lost its luster could be a result of financial or emotional repercussions. This could be daunting to the couple who intend to continue their bond despite all the ups and downs. But sometimes, it becomes hard for them to remember that marriage means a promise to live with your better half as a cherished soulmate for life.

With the hopes of living happily ever after, you begin your married life with high expectations, dreams, and excitement. But, down the years, the sheen is lost, and the camaraderie among you two may wither away.

A marriage needs caressing, pampering, and nurturing throughout the journey of life to keep it young and blooming with love. In this article, we show you how to rekindle your marriage, identify the signs, and reignite the fiery passion.

Signs That You Need To Rekindle The Romance In Your Marriage

The excitement you felt during the courtship and honeymoon phase can vanish if you stop caring and being mindful of your partner. As the relationship gets old, all the excitement might turn into ashes. The luster of those intimate honeymoon days may seem to you like a mere dream.

If this sounds like your relationship, the time has come to rekindle your marriage. Here are some red flags to watch out for:

1. Emotional Withdrawal

An unhappy marriage can potentially lead to emotional and psychological stress, more so when your partner emotionally withdraws by dissociating and avoiding meaningful conversations. A simple one-minute romantic talk can reignite the soulful passion you had for your partner. But emotional withdrawal can lead to dissatisfaction and reduced self-esteem, subsequently making you feel anxious and depressed.

Emotional withdrawal gnaws away at the bond between you two, making emotional defenses appear out of nowhere. So, none of you feels interested or motivated to fulfill the needs of the other. Emotional withdrawal can turn you into two people who are merely living together.

Being emotionally withdrawn from a relationship can be contagious. Once one partner disconnects emotionally, the other one follows suit. As a result, thoughtfulness turns into thoughtlessness for each other.

Emotional withdrawal is a clear sign that times of discussions, negotiations, and even arguments are long gone – the only thing left is the silent treatment. Silent treatment and lack of communication can kill a marriage faster than anything else.

2. Stonewalling

If you or your partner tend to ignore conflict and avoid anger to cope silently, this act of retreating is called stonewalling. It means being evasive or delaying, hindering, or avoiding answering the questions asked by your partner. Chronic stonewalling, also known as defensive cold-shouldering, can damage your relationship.

Stonewalling involves the stonewaller staying quiet and not responding when asked any questions. The stonewalling partner may pretend like they can’t hear what’s being told. A lack of communication isolates you from your partner.

Stonewalling can be an act of manipulation and dominance. Communication between a couple should be easy, smooth, and safe.

3. Financial Distribution Conflicts

Management and distribution of money and finances among couples can cause conflicts. Arguments about questions such as how to spend, save, and allocate the finances can potentially be an early sign of the underlying fragile relationship issues.

Such financial conflicts can eventually lead to a feeling of insecurity, stress, and possibly divorce. Sorting out the financial issues in the family is the best way to save the relationship and rekindle the spark in your marriage.

4. You Dream About A Life Beyond Your Partner

Do you feel stuck in a web of unhappiness with your partner? Do you imagine a future without your partner to feel happy? If that is the case with you, it’s pretty obvious things aren’t working right for the two of you.

If you want to rekindle the love in your marriage, you need to look for happiness with your partner. Emotional detachment won’t bring the two of you together. Instead, it will only set you apart. If this is happening with you, try to identify the things you can work upon in your relationship.

5. Gridlocking And Non-Cooperation

Do you argue or fight with your partner frequently? Do you two discuss the confusion-causing misunderstanding or simply gridlock yourselves with no intention of listening? Such a situation where you two are not interested in listening to each other’s perspectives is unhealthy for your relationship.

Though this does not mean that all love is now lost, it might just be buried beneath the forces of doubt, ego, and confusion. You may just have lost the key to access the feeling of love due to such unresolved conflicts. This is when rejuvenating the emotional connection becomes necessary.

These are some of the possible culprits that could be behind why you are unable to rekindle love in your marriage. Luckily, you can make your marriage work by reigniting the lost passion in your relationship. Let us find out how below.

7 Ways To Rekindle Love In A Marriage

If you believe your partner is worthy of love, honor, and respect, you may be inclined to rekindle the passion in your marriage. Here are 7 ways you can ensure a romantic and long-lasting relationship with your partner:

1. Reinvigorate The Emotional Connection

The emotional bond plays a big role in rekindling a marriage. You need to make your partner feel cared for and special. It is a great way to once again spark the emotional bond and bury those meaningless hatchets.

You need not make grand gestures to show your partner you care. Small, thoughtful gestures go a long way toward cementing the bond of love. Here are some ideas to bring you and your spouse closer and rekindle the passion in your marriage:

  • Give your spouse love notes filled with positive affirmations.
  • A gentle massage on the shoulders to reduce their stress after a day’s tiring work can go a long way in rebuilding the emotional connection.
  • Writing a small but thoughtful note for your spouse and placing it in their wallet or purse can give a love-reminiscing smile to their lips.
  • Take out some time every evening to ask about their day or watch a TV show together.

2. Build A Bond Of Friendship With Your Partner

Being your partner’s best friend is the best way to rekindle your marriage. Celebrating the joyous times together deepens the relationship even more. Applaud or give a pat on your partner’s back when they achieve a milestone at work. Go out on fun dates and joke around with each other. Friendliness with your love will keep boredom away.

Working on your friendship can remind you of the reasons for your commitment in the first place. The dwindling praise and gratitude between partners can re-emerge stronger once they start seeing each other as friends again.

3. Realize A Marriage Is Beyond Love

Often, the most overlooked aspect in a troubled relationship is talking to one another with respect and kindness. To keep the spark alive in a marriage, you also need to make a continuous effort to communicate with and listen to your partner.

Allocate time every day to catch up with your partner. Initiating thoughtful and productive communication is vital to rekindling the romance in your marriage when you’ve recently had a shift or a rise in responsibilities (e.g., loss of job, relocation, giving birth, etc.).

Avoid talking to your spouse solely to hurt, control, or dominate them – be empathetic to stimulate emotional kindling. Consider speaking to each other more gently and calmly.

4. Revitalize Fondness And Admiration

Fondness and admiration for your better half get replaced with anger when your relationship is in trouble. In such a situation, developing in-depth positive feelings is required to save your relationship. It is better to focus on the positive qualities of your partner instead of ranting about their shortcomings. Listen to understand, and speak to be heard.

Presenting yourself to your partner in your true natural form is one of the many ways to rekindle your marriage. By being your true self, you will find it easier to develop fondness, and subsequently, admiration for each other. But remember that this is a two-way street and your partner needs to put in equal effort toward appreciating you as well.

5. Eliminate Lovelessness By Rethinking Sexual Intimacy

Sexual intimacy is a central factor of marriage. A sexless relationship might frustrate both or either one of you in the long run. Physical affection in the form of kissing, cuddling, and hugging should be an active part of your daily interactions.

Oxytocin, the love hormone, is released during lovemaking. Physical touch, hugs, and cuddling are also important for bonding. So if they are missing in your relationship, address the situation thoughtfully. You can double or triple the amount of hand-holding, hugging, and kissing your partner to reignite your emotional and physical bond.

6. Shun The “I” And Embrace The “Us” In Your Relationship

Marriage is a two-way street. Sacrifice and respect are imperative to rekindle love in marriage. There’s simply no space for selfishness. Reduce the use of “I” in your conversations and replace it with “us.”

Don’t attack, blame, or look for faults to point at your partner, as this could spoil your bond. Instead of pointing fingers at your partner as the sole perpetrator for your marriage going downhill, analyze the roles that both of you played in it.

Be open-minded and listen to your partner’s take. This will make it possible to engage with them emotionally. Be open and communicate freely with the love of your life. Communication ignites the love in your marriage.

7. Don’t Let Silence Take Over

Silence in a relationship helps at times, but not always. Communication is the key to rekindling a marriage. Even a small conversation can solve years of confusion and misunderstanding. Talking can save your relationship.

Apart from merely asking for an update on the kids, make it a point to talk about the two of you when it’s dinner time on the table or while in bed. It’s advised to look into your partner’s eyes when this conversation is taking place. The idea is to make your spouse feel cared for, understood, and worthy of your attention.

In Closing

As long as you maintain a sense of respect for your partner, your marriage can be rekindled. Develop and preserve a positive feeling for your partner and be kind and loving, even in tough situations.

For the sake of saving and rekindling your marriage, avoid getting trapped in the vicious circle of jealousy and miscommunication. Instead, focus on doing those little things that matter to each other.

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Arshiya Syeda is an editor and certified counselor. Ever the lover of the written word, she served on the editorial boards of her school and college newsletters. Writing articles on hairstyles, hair care, and nutrition helped her combine her love for reading, writing, and research. As an editor, she helps her team members deliver polished and meticulously researched content. Arshiya is fluent in English, Urdu, and Hindi and aims to become a multilinguist by learning German and teaching herself American Sign Language (ASL).
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