If you want your partner to cherish you and share a healthy relationship with you, both of you must share a great respect for each other. Respect is more than just talking politely and loving each other. In a marriage, both husband and wife should view each other as equals and accept each other for their true selves. Often after having been married for a few years and due to the frustrations of adult life, partners end up forgetting the most basic need of marriage – respect. If you are struggling to understand the true essence of the word ‘respect’ and, hence, failing to show it to your husband, you are in the right place. Follow these simple steps to learn how to respect your husband and grow your marriage into a beautiful bond that you can cherish for a lifetime.
In This Article
Why Should You Respect Your Husband?
‘Respect’ is a very powerful word and has multiple definitions. In the context of a healthy relationship, respect can be understood as a positive feeling and a fulfilling attitude towards your partner. There are different ways to show respect to your husband, like using polite and affectionate language and physical gestures like hugging, cuddling, kissing, etc. It is also a mutual consideration of each other’s needs. Through respect, you not only honor the bond you share with your husband but are also considerate of his feelings and emotional needs.
A relationship that lacks respect usually ends with extreme dissatisfaction and bitterness. Imagine one day your partner walks up to you and says, ‘I love you, but I do not respect you.’ Will you buy it? Do you think somebody can love you without respecting you? Love and respect go hand in hand. Hence, love and respect are basic ingredients of not only marriage but any relationship.
However, when it comes to displaying respect, we often think of it as coming from a place of inferiority. Images of students standing up to greet their teacher, employees speaking courteously with their bosses, etc., come to mind. But, respect is totally different in a marriage. If you think of it in terms of inferiority, you are wrong. If a wife is showing respect to her husband, it is not because she is inferior to him but because she loves and values the relationship she shares with him. Similarly, a husband is also expected to show respect to his wife because he loves her.
Ask Yourself These Questions
These questions will help you identify how far you are in the process of respecting your husband.
- Do I respect the decisions my husband makes?
- Do I value the effort my husband makes for my family and me?
- Am I rude in my actions toward my husband?
- Do I take out sufficient time for my husband from my busy schedule?
- Am I constantly angry toward my husband about one thing or another?
- Do I choose my words wisely while talking to my husband?
- Do I give him space and time to unwind?
- Have I taught my children to be respectful toward their father?
- Am I willing to try new things with him, emotionally, mentally, or physically?
- Do I constantly criticize him for making the wrong decisions?
- Do I celebrate his successes with him?
- Am I by his side during his failures?
Ask yourself these questions and analyze the answers you come up with. Once you give these questions some thought, you will realize how much (or how little) respect you are giving your husband.
Now, let’s talk about some things you can do to respect your husband.
15 Ways To Respect Your Husband
If you are trying to be more respectful toward your husband, you are at the right place. Here are some ways to respect your husband and base your marriage on mutual trust, respect, and admiration.
1. Stop Looking For Perfection
Although the quote ‘nobody is perfect’ has been overdone, it still holds true. All human beings have different abilities, and they all work to the best of the abilities. So, cut your husband some slack and accept him as he is. Be critical and analytical towards him and his decisions but not over-critical and over-analytical. Let go of the idea of a perfect marriage and perfect husband – only then will you be able to accept your husband for this true self and respect him for the same.
2. Be Appreciative Of His Decisions
Marriage requires a lot of work, and so does building a family. As a couple with kids, both of you might have to constantly work around the clock to strike the correct balance between work and family. Just like you made some sacrifices for your family, your husband must have done the same. Hence, be appreciative of his decisions and for successfully bearing the responsibility of providing for a family. Remind him timely how grateful you are for him and his wish to look after the family.
3. Say ‘Thank You’ Every Once In A While
Often, once the monotony of the marriage sets in, couples forget to be appreciative of each other. Even if they are appreciative, they do not express it freely and start taking each other for granted. Do not fall into this trap. Just feeling grateful is not enough – express it to him. Thank your husband whenever possible. These two simple words can mean a lot to your husband and your marriage. You can also buy him gifts, plan surprise dates or weekend trips for him to show your appreciation.
4. Ensure Effective Communication
Communication is the key to a happy marriage. If you want to respect your husband, ensure you communicate freely with him. Even if you think there are some difficult things to talk about, do not shy away from them. Bottling them inside you will further trouble you and your marriage. One hack for starting difficult conversations is texting. If you are afraid of having some conversations face to face, text him about it first. You can then transition to face-to-face conversation when you feel a bit more comfortable.
5. Do Not Compare Him To Other Men
Nobody likes being constantly told what to do and what not to do. Repeatedly telling your husband how he could be better is both bad for you and your him. Stop comparing him to other men and think of how he is a perfect match for you. Only once you accept him as he is will you be happy with him.
6. Try To Accept His Family As Your Own
In a marriage, it is not only the husband and wife who come together, but it is also two families. If you expect him to become a part of your family, then even you should embrace his family with love and respect. One added advantage is you can always inquire from his family about his childhood, his likes, and dislikes, fun stories about him, etc. You can then incorporate these memories into the gifts you plan for him on birthdays and anniversaries.
7. Do Not Talk Negatively About Your Husband In Front Of Your Kids
Young kids have impressionable minds. To help your kids develop a loving, affectionate, and respectful attitude toward their father, talk respectfully about him in front of them. Focus on his abilities, personality traits, and qualities that make him a perfect father and a great human being. Additionally, the kids will also get to learn many things from the personality of their father and grow into well-rounded adults.
8. Apologize When Needed
Just like your husband is not perfect, neither are you. It is completely okay to commit mistakes that can affect both you and your marriage. In this case, do not shy away from apologizing to your husband and do not bring your ego into the picture. Apologizing when needed will ensure healthy communication between you and your husband. A sincere apology can go a long way in solving many big issues in your relationship.
9. Be His Personal Cheerleader
Cheerleaders do not stop cheering for their team even when they are losing. You must do the same for your husband – keep cheering for him regardless of his successes and failures. This will not only motivate him to work hard but also give him the strength to overcome difficult situations.
10. Try Exciting Things In Bed
Marriage is not just about emotional intimacy but also physical and sexual intimacy. A healthy and exciting sexual life will keep that spark alive in your marriage. Make an effort to try new things in bed to keep your husband interested. Your efforts will also show him that you love and respect him as you are willing to try new things with him. However, make sure that all the sexual activities you try with your husband are consensual.
11. Pray For Him
If you are someone who believes in God, pray for the good health of your husband. If you are a practicing Christian, there are many Bible verses about respecting your husband. But, respecting your spouse is encouraged in all religions. Pray to God to protect him against all odds and give him the strength and power to overcome difficulties. This will not only be beneficial for your husband but also help you strengthen your relationship with God.
12. Acknowledge His Advances
You are not the only one who would want to spice up your sex life – your husband may want to do the same. Be considerate of his physical and emotional advances. Ignoring his physical advances can make him feel unwanted and undesired. If you are not in the mood for sex at any time, let him down respectfully. But, enjoy the physical aspects of your marriage as much as the emotional parts.
13. Give Him His Space
Respecting your husband not only includes talking to him politely but also giving him space. Just because you share a life together does not necessarily mean you have to spend every minute of every day together. Give him space to hang out with his friends and pursue his own hobbies. In the same way, you should also have friends and a life of your own outside of your marriage.
14. Give Him Your Attention
Married life comes with a lot of responsibilities like kids, household chores, extended family commitments, etc. The possibility of you running short on time and scrambling to get things done is very high. However, when you are talking to your husband, give him your full attention. It may seem tempting to get a task or two done when you are listening to him but do not give in to the temptation. Listen to him intently, maintain eye contact, and offer suggestions and advice when asked for. This will show him you respect him and all his thoughts matter to you.
15. Change Your Attitude And Actions
You cannot just respect your husband through changing your actions – you must also change your attitude. Understanding how to treat your husband with respect may be difficult in the beginning, but once you get into the process, it will get easier and easier. Eventually, all your transformed actions and attitude will become a habit and let you achieve what you want easily.
With love and respect, a marriage can be a beautiful journey that you enjoy with your partner. Never take your partner for granted, and always keep looking for ways to love him and respect him. Do not stress yourself too much thinking about how to show respect to your husband. Make an effort where required, but also let some things happen organically. The key is to understand that both you and your husband are not perfect, and neither is your marriage. Do not be afraid to work hard on it to bring out the best in you and your husband.
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