Everything You Need To Know About How To Deal With What People Think Of You

Calm your worries and build confidence in yourself to lead a happier life!

By Harini Natarajan, Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner

As social beings, wanting to be accepted by others is our nature. So, we usually hold ourselves back because we care about what people think about us. But, sometimes, that does more harm than good. It becomes unhealthy and can stop you from living your best life and realizing your true potential. So, how to stop caring about what people think of you?

In this post, we explore ways to not let the opinions of other people have a negative impact on us. We have also included effective tips to manage your worries about what other people think and signs that show you care too much. Keep scrolling!

Signs That You Care Too Much

Signs that you care too much

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Have you ever come up with an idea you thought was brilliant but later dismissed it because someone else thought otherwise? Why do we care so much about others’ perspectives? Why is it so important to be socially accepted?

We do this because society has conditioned us to behave this way. Author Tom Ferry says, “Approval from others gives us a higher sense of self-esteem. We’re convinced that their recognition matters to our self-worth and how deeply we value ourselves.”

While caring about what people think of you is good, it shouldn’t become an obsession and cloud your judgment. Following are the warning signs that you are a little too affected by what others think of you:

  • Your decisions change according to the inputs you receive from people. Their opinions cloud your judgment and make you question your ability to handle any task.
  • Owing to insecurity and lack of confidence you deem yourself unfit to make any decisions and let other people decide for you.
  • You don’t have a set of defined boundaries. It enables people to exploit you by forcing their judgment on you. Self-respect and privacy are not valued.
  • You are a perfectionist. Doing things the perfect way, without any errors and mistakes, drives you. However, you forget that to err is human. Learning from your mistakes is the essence of growth and maturity.
  • You are afraid to voice your opinions. The only thing that matters to you is if you are accepted and loved by society. You are terrified of confrontation while sharing your thoughts and views.
  • There is an incessant need to feel sorry. You always think that you are at fault. It causes a high level of mental disturbance and may lead to depression.

Do the above pointers remind you of yourself? Trying to fit into the societal norms overweighs the happiness and satisfaction that we get from acting on our free will. It represses you to an extent where you are afraid to pursue what you want in life (1).

However, nothing should stop you from becoming the best version of yourself. So, let’s find out how we can embrace positivity and growth in our life instead of stewing in doubt and insecurity.

Shifting Focus From Society To Yourself

Shift focus from society to yourself

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While you are constantly playing the role of an ’ideal’ person to feel loved and accepted, have you silenced the inner voice of your being? Although being aware of what repercussions our actions may have on others is good, too much concern regarding the same can make you lose your free will, talents, identity, and essence.

Thus, to accept yourself for who you are and recognising your strength and weakness, you need to stop thinking about what people want from you and start introspecting what you want for yourself. Here are a few tips that may help:

  • Have Confidence In Yourself

Valuing yourself and trusting your actions is key to ward off the unwanted feelings of not being accepted. We all are unique, with different sets of values and abilities. The issue arises when we seek validation from others. A research paper argues that a pat on your shoulder is what lifts your self-belief and confidence (2). However, we become what we think. If we consciously and repeatedly give ourselves doses of positivity, we will surely not need anyone else’s affirmations.

“I am the captain of my ship and the master of my soul.” Not worrying about being socially accepted and loved makes us responsible for our own happiness. We rely on ourselves for being happy and satisfied with our lives instead of pleasing the people around us (3). Instead of fearing failure, you learn to grow through your mistakes. Stepping up and putting yourself out there without thinking of others’ opinions makes you brave.

  • Let Go Of Perfectionism

Caring a lot about what people think of you makes you walk on the path of perfectionism. Although this may give you the motivation and reasons to outdo yourself every time, you stand a chance to lose yourself in the process. Making mistakes and acknowledging them is a part of life. A lot of energy and time is spent filtering our thoughts and actions due to peer pressure. Transforming your mindset to become self-aware and confident can change the whole game.

  • Befriend Yourself

Befriending yourself is the first step towards becoming confident and happy in your skin. Building on your strengths and working on your weaknesses will give you a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction. It is easy to be yourself and enjoy the moment when you do not care whether someone likes you or not. Taking steps toward knowing yourself and creating self-awareness will help shed all your insecurities about what people think of you. No one is going to believe you unless you do!

  • Have Your Pack
Woman with a close-knit friend circle

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Surrounding yourself with like-minded family and friends who are constantly supportive and encouraging is a boon. Develop relations with people who embrace your true self and are attentive to your needs. You can spend time reaching out to different people and build connections. This interaction is mentally stimulating and helps build a sense of self-worth and self-awareness.

  • Seek Help

Sometimes, it is easier to open up to a professional than talk about some issue with friends and family. As per a research paper, seeking help from a professional can be beneficial for mental well-being (4). Most of the time, people dealing with trauma or mental health issues find solace in a therapist. It will help build self-confidence and seek ways to deal with criticism.

The stress of what others think of us is profound. The benefits of not paying attention to unwanted gossip and discussions are many. However, you may still find yourself in the spotlight time and again. Let’s look at some ways that can help you immediately tackle such situations.

Tips To Soothe Your Worries

Calm down all your worries

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Though it is natural to feel the need to be desired and liked by others, worrying too much about it can have an impact on your mental health. Here’s how you can calm down the storm of worries:

  • Accept That You Can’t Control What Others Think

The sad reality is that people form associations from past experiences and come to conclusions. You should understand that what others think of you is not your problem. You can never change the way a person feels and thinks about you, so why sweat over it?

  • Understand That Life Is Too Short For Regrets

It is your life. Living it the way you want should be the sole purpose. Focusing on what you desire and want to achieve in life is way more important than what people might say. You will always have worries, but the main priority is not letting them stop you from doing things you love.

  • Realize That Out Of Sight Is Out Of Mind

Assessing other people is a part of social interaction. However, all of this is just small talk. People are usually preoccupied with problems and worries of their own. Rest assured, their interest in your life and failures is short-lived.

  • Practice Self-love And Daily Affirmations

Start your day with positive and meaningful affirmations. Mindfulness is all about staying in the present and being aware of and accepting how you feel in that moment. Some ways to help you relax and start the journey of self-love are yoga, meditation, and breathing exercises.

So, should we become selfish and not care about what people think? The simple answer to this is ‘no’. Everything in life is about balance, and you should know where to draw a line to save your mental peace. Read on for a clearer perspective.

Is It Selfish To Not Care What People Think?

Is it selfish to not care what other people think

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No. A selfish person is self-centered, self-serving, and self-involved. However, we cannot assume things in black and white. Despite external factors clouding your judgment, you need to trust your core. For that, helping yourself first is more important. Tuning out the outside voices is an act of self-love and self-care rather than selfishness.

We are usually in the tryst to help others, though that can’t happen all the time. Many people who focus entirely on others end up overwhelmed, fatigued, and stressed. As per a research paper, chronic stress has been linked to a number of health risks, including conditions like diabetes, cancer, and mental illnesses (5).
Don’t neglect yourself and your health to avoid feeling selfish. Selfishness does not have to be a bad thing. It can be good to be a little selfish to take care of your emotional, mental, and physical well-being.

Learning to put yourself first is important to stop caring about what other people think of you. If caring about others’ opinions too much becomes an obsession, you may win their acceptance and love, but your decision-making and judgment slowly slip out of your hands. People will eventually start controlling you and your decisions. This is nothing but demeaning yourself and your capabilities. Instead, do what is best for you and chase your goals and aspirations, come what may.

The tips suggested in the article help you stay strong against negativity from society. However, if you feel extremely overwhelmed by societal expectations and pressure, never hesitate to take professional help or counseling.

Frequently Asked Questions

Why do I care about what people think?

It is natural and human to care about what other people think. We care about what other people think because we want to be loved and respected. However, caring too much about other people can cause you distress and make you doubt yourself.

Is there a disorder for caring what people think?

Caring about what other people may think may sometimes come from social anxiety or low self-confidence.

Key Takeaways

  • Caring too much about what others think about you may impact your natural thinking and decision-making ability.
  • It destroys your self-confidence and makes you depend on others for everything. As a result, you will eventually lose your free will, essence, and identity.
  • Being in the good books of everyone is not possible, so introspect what you want for yourself and go with what your heart says.

Sources

Articles on StyleCraze are backed by verified information from peer-reviewed and academic research papers, reputed organizations, research institutions, and medical associations to ensure accuracy and relevance. Read our editorial policy to learn more.

  1. “Responses to Social Exclusion: Social Anxiety” “Jealousy” “Loneliness” “Depression” and Low Self-Esteem
    https://guilfordjournals.com/doi/abs/10.1521/jscp.1990.9.2.221
  2. Neural Responses to Social Evaluation: The Role of Fear of Positive and Negative Evaluation
    www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6759361/
  3. The Mediating Role of Positive and Negative Affects in the Relationship between Self-Esteem and Happiness
    www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7196210/
  4. Conceptual Measurement Framework for Help-Seeking for Mental Health Problems
    www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3520462/
  5. The Effects of Chronic Stress on Health: New Insights Into the Molecular Mechanisms of Brain-Body Communication
    www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5137920/
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