How To Talk To A Guy – 11 Simple And Useful Tips

If you chicken out when your crush talks to you, try smiling at them first and being polite.

Reviewed by Michele Waldron, Psy.D, LADC-I, CSCT Michele Waldron Michele WaldronPsy.D, LADC-I, CSCT facebook_iconlinkedin_iconinsta_icon
Written by , Integrated MA, Certified Relationship Coach Sneha Tete Integrated MA, Certified Relationship Coach linkedin_icon Experience: 4 years
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So, you have had a crush on a guy for a while now. Wondering how to talk to a guy you have been swooning over? Feeling nervous and shy to talk to a guy you find cute is normal. But if you really want to talk to him, we can help you out. Can wait to know how to start a conversation with a guy and win him over? We share all the secrets and tricks here!

Many women don’t know what to say to a guy they like, especially if they have to break the ice. Starting and holding an interesting conversation is a skill. It helps build a rapport with the guy and get to know him better. But, good conversations are more than just words. They can spark the chemistry that you are looking for and strengthen your communication with each other. Read on to get some pearls of wisdom you can use in this situation. Go out there to start a conversation with any guy you like. Scroll down!

How To Talk To A Guy

Liv Mello, a relationship and lifestyle blogger, is an ardent believer in women making the first move in heterosexual relationships – a concept that society is slowly warming up to only now. She made the first move in her own relationship within minutes of noticing her partner for the first time, and she shares her thoughts on finding out he had found her attractive at first sight too, but didn’t approach her because he felt she wouldn’t be interested. “I was both shocked and relieved that I didn’t believe in the tired notion that women aren’t supposed to make the first move. I would have missed out on the greatest person I’ve ever met (i),” she notes.

So, we are glad that you want to be brave like Liv, and we’re here to help you get a few things right to get over your jitters and confidently walk up to your crush. Keep reading to learn more.

1. Smile More Often

Smile more often while talking to a guy
Image: Shutterstock

A simple smile can work wonders when you are trying to impress someone. The next time you are initiating a conversation or talking to a guy you are crushing on, flash your pearly whites. Subtly, of course. Laugh at his jokes, smile every now and then while looking into his eyes, and don’t hide that mischievous glint in your eyes. When you are happy, it shows. And everyone likes being around someone cheerful and fun.

2. Make Physical Contact

Make physical contact during conversations
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Guys have always been attracted to the gentle, tender touch of a woman. Men involuntarily tend to flirt more and show more interest in girls who touch them during conversations (1). Touch his forearm occasionally or place your hand on his shoulder when you are having a conversation. Do this, and you will see his interest in you grow in no time.

protip_icon Quick Tip

Maintain the etiquette of physical contact. Keep them subtle and go for it only if you have been to 2-3 successful dates. It won’t feel awkward at that point.

3. Be Coy And Graceful

Women have always loved chivalrous men, and men have always adored graceful, coy women. However, there is a big difference between being demure and elegant and just plain shy. Find that sweet spot that works for you. Work your charm on him. Make eye contact when you talk to him. Don’t be too shy or awkward about your own unique quirks. Be comfortable in your own skin, and he will find your confidence and grace irresistible. Be sure coy and graceful is who you are. You don’t want to project an image of someone you aren’t.

4. Don’t Be Rude Or Mean

We all swear occasionally; nobody’s a saint. Swearing once in a while is fine – we all need to blow off some steam. But in general, try to avoid cursing or using bad language too often. It makes you come across as an inconsiderate person who doesn’t care about others’ feelings. Also, don’t bitch about other people or speak nastily about others. If you are always complaining or mean to others, you may come across as rude.

5. Seek His Protection

Seek his protection while talking to a guy
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It doesn’t hurt to make him feel important. Give him some opportunities to help you out, and he will appreciate the chance of being your protector. Reach out and hold his hand while crossing the street. Smile shyly and ask him if he can help you to carry something heavy. You know the drill – make him feel like you are thankful for his support, and he will want to be by your side all the time.

6. Be Mysterious

Guys may find mysterious girls a bit annoying, but they also can’t help but fall in love with them. During the dating phase, keeping a few things shrouded in mystery keeps the guy hooked on your every word and action. You don’t have to tell a man about every single emotion that is going through you. If you are feeling lost or he catches you smiling to yourself, and enquires about it, you can simply tell him it is nothing. Don’t reveal each and everything that goes on inside your mind, or you will just become boring to him. A word of caution here: Don’t do this to your boyfriend, though – he may think you are having an affair!

7. Be Nice And Polite

Everybody wants to spend their lives with someone who is warm, kind-hearted, and caring. If you want to win someone’s heart, always keep this in mind. Be good-natured, nice, and polite. Be courteous and sweet, not just to him, but to all the people around you. You can try to pretend to be polite when you are with him, but it is neither easy nor believable. Instead, learn to be a genuinely gracious human being – not only to impress him but also to be happier in your own life.

8. Appreciate Him

Notice his efforts and appreciate him
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It feels good to get noticed for your efforts. Don’t you agree? Often, when someone is kind to us, we may take it for granted. Pay attention to the little things he may be doing for you. Don’t hold back on the compliments. Knowing that you notice his efforts and praise him for it will make him feel more attracted to you.

9. Be Naughty And Mischievous

Be naughty and mischievous while talking to a guy
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There is nothing as sexy as a girl who is shy and coy yet has a streak of mischievousness in her. It is always cool to have fun now and then with a couple of pranks. Tease him, tell him a few jokes, nudge him by the shoulder, or do all of the above. Guys love girls who are all sweet, cute, and nice, but admittedly, it can get boring after a while. Show him that you have a naughty side too if that is who you truly are! This will inevitably make him consider having a relationship with you as he would imagine it to be fun and exciting.

10. Play Hard To Get

Now, where have we heard this one before? It is a bit of a cliché that everyone loves a good challenge. It is an oft-repeated piece of dating advice that if you are easy to get, he will lose interest in you. Being friendly and approachable while still keeping him on his toes is a delicate balancing act, so tread tactfully. Speak to him in a sweet manner, but don’t ever let him take you for granted.

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Do not lose yourself and follow your dreams and passions. If you are not true to yourself, you can’t be true to the guy you like.

11. Use A Conversation Starter

Going for boring small talk with the guy you like might kill your moment before it has even started. However, you have to use a nice conversation starter to have a memorable interaction with him. Observe his surroundings and pick something to talk about. After the basic introduction phase, ask him about the drink/appetizer he is having, how he knows the host if it is a party or a gathering, what was the highlight of his day, or if he has been working on anything exciting lately, depending on where you are meeting him. Showing interest in his personality would keep his attention hooked on you. It will keep him thinking about you even after the conversation has ended or you have bid goodbye to each other.

Indulging the guy you like in an interesting conversation can surely help you get the ball rolling. You should be so confident, charismatic, and articulate before them that they look forward to meeting you again. For instance, your body language should ooze grace and positivity, do not show all your cards at once, and compliment your guy whenever needed. Furthermore, you can drop a hint or two about your feelings for them by being a little naughty or flirting with them. Finally, let the conversations flow naturally and do not overdo them.

Introduce topics that interest you both, or talk about shared experiences, such as going to the same workplace or liking the same kind of music. Encourage him to share his thoughts and reciprocate by sharing your own ideas. Be yourself and let the conversation flow naturally. Once you feel more comfortable around him, try the tips that we have listed here. Here’s wishing you all the luck!

Frequently Asked Questions

What do men like to talk about?

Men usually like to talk about their passions and interests, whether they’re into sports, music, cars, movies, or perhaps even love interests. It may also lead to a few deep and vulnerable conversations that can lead to a closer bond of trust and companionship.

How do you break the silence in a conversation?

If you find yourself in an awkward lull in a conversation, try continuing or asking questions about previous conversations, or discussing current events like the news, the weather, or the movies.

What can I ask a guy to get to know him?

Discover more about him by asking about his music, movie, or book interests, his childhood, hobbies, or even his goals in life.

Key Takeaways

  • An interesting conversation is key to build rapport with a man and know him better.
  • Smiling, being appreciative, and speaking politely can help you break the ice.
  • Do not be shy or awkward to express yourself. Be comfortable in your skin to charm him with your confidence, elegance, and grace.
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Image: Dall·E/StyleCraze Design Team


Unlock the secrets to keeping a conversation engaging with that special guy! This insightful video shares practical tips and techniques to ensure a lively and captivating conversation. Check it out!

Personal Experience: Source

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Michele Waldron
Michele WaldronPsy.D, LADC-I, CSCT
Dr. Waldron is a licensed clinical psychologist, certified couples counselor, licensed alcohol and drug counselor, and sex therapist. with 16 years of experience. She received her Psy.D from Antioch University, New England.

Read full bio of Michele Waldron