15 Signs Your Partner Is Lying To You

Defensiveness and indifference are a few signs that your partner is being dishonest.

Reviewed by Hemali Adhiya, ICF Certified Relationship Coach Hemali Adhiya Hemali AdhiyaICF Certified Relationship Coach facebook_iconyoutube_iconinsta_icon
Written by , Beauty & Lifestyle Writer Sneha Tete Beauty & Lifestyle Writer linkedin_icon Experience: 4 years
Edited by , Associate Editor Subhrojyoti Mukherjee Associate Editor Experience: 4 years
Fact-checked by , Beauty & Lifestyle Writer Gracia Odile Beauty & Lifestyle Writer Experience: 3 years

Honest communication and transparency are the two utmost virtues needed in a relationship. If you feel your spouse is lying to you, it is better to confirm the source of your feelings before confronting them. But, how to tell if your spouse is lying while ensuring you don’t false accuse him and hurt him? It is best to stray from assumptions and be sure before you conclude about his lying nature, which is why you need to look for cues.

Lying is not a sign of a healthy and trustworthy relationship. And doubting your partner without any reason is also harmful for the relationship. Your doubt should have a valid reason, , and you should handle it with careful communication and clarity. The wrong assumptions can ruin everything.

This article explores the signs of a lying spouse, the different reasons a spouse may lie, and how to confront them. Keep reading.

Reasons Spouses Lie

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  • To get away from tricky social or embarrassing situations
  • To avoid a situation or circumstance they are afraid of
  • To hide the truth about an unplanned expenditure or hide their financial situation
  • To protect somebody else’s privacy
  • To protect the partner from grief or an unpleasant situation
  • To avoid conflicts and fights

Lindsay opens up on her blog about why and how she used to lie to her husband: “Sometimes, when my husband was asking about how my day was, I would purposefully leave out details for fear of what he might say in reaction to people I had hung out with. I wasn’t doing anything questionable, but I knew he didn’t 100% adore all of my friends as much as I did (i).”

  • To avoid rejection or loss
  • To keep work-related information confidential
  • To brag or boast their social or economic status
  • To control the situation, as a means of manipulation
  • To shirk from responsibility
  • To cover up their failure
  • To hide their infidelity

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It is possible that they are being coy because they are not being completely honest because they already know they have let you down, and they are worried about how you will react.

There are several reasons your partner may lie to you. It is important to establish that they are lying and that you are not merely overthinking or feeling insecure. The best way to move forward in such directions is to look for one or more of these signs. Typically, observe if you find any of these signs for a minimum a month. It’ll help you differentiate between a mood swing, stress days, and a lying partner.

15 Signs Of A Spouse Who Is Lying

  1. Changes In The Way They Communicate: Any deviation from the usual tone of their voice, frequency, pitch, and style of communication can be a red flag. Sudden switches to new vocabulary or use of different platforms (social media) to communicate is a sign that there could be something out of the ordinary.
A man avoiding eye contact with his wife
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  1. Avoids Eye Contact: People who lie generally avoid eye contact. Carefully observe how they respond to you during normal conversations and conversations you suspect to be dishonest. Not blinking often or blinking too often are also signs that they are trying to hide something.
  1. Changes In Body Language: If your partner is extra fidgety or nervous around you, it may be an indication that they are lying. Anxiety to keep the stories or facts straight often results in body language changes like scratching, fake laughter, excessive sweating, or closed postures.
  1. Acts Defensive: When you question them, they will get defensive and try to give long winding explanations or excuses. They overcompensate for their guilt by justifying their behavior.
  1. Being Vague: If your spouse intentionally leaves out important details, they could be lying. For example, not allowing you around their phone, change in expressions when the phone rings when you are around, etc.
  1. Unexplained Periods Of Absence: Any unaccounted time slabs in their schedule points they might be lying about whom they are spending their time with. This can be cause for concern.
  1. Distracts Or Diverts Conversations: If your spouse skillfully avoids talking about certain topics and navigates the conversation, they could be hiding something.
  1. Acts Dismissive: Another common tactic to get away with lies is to dismiss or diffuse the situation. They may pretend to ignore or trivialize the matter by attaching no importance to the question or conversation.
  1. Creates Self-doubt: They will manipulate you and the conversation so that you will second guess yourself. It is a form of gas-lighting and can be harmful when dealing with people with personality disorders.
  1. Inconsistent Stories: If you notice missing details or facts when describing their whereabouts, it is a sure-shot sign they are hiding something. It is difficult to keep stories straight if someone is constantly lying. Pay more attention and try to figure out any discrepancies.
  1. Lack Of Intimacy: Changes in the routine, not initiating intimacy, or acting distant are all signs that there is something amiss in the relationship. These signs could be indicative of underlying problems or conflicts.
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  1. Anger Issues: If you notice your partner is having frequent fits of anger or is losing their temper for trivial matters, it may mean they are not in control of their emotions. These could be subtle signs displayed when the partner is guilty of something.
  1. Being Indifferent: When your spouse acts bored or indifferent, it can be a way to avoid showing their true emotions.
  1. They Sound Rehearsed: If your partner sounds rehearsed or if their stories are too detailed or if they have an unnecessary alibi for their whereabouts, they could be hiding something.
  2. Detecting lies in a relationship often involves recognizing changes in speech patterns. A partner who is lying may display increased hesitations, throat clearing, or offer overly elaborate explanations to mask the truth. Watch for the avoidance of direct answers, inconsistencies in stories, or the use of distancing language like third-person references. Sudden shifts in tone or pitch, along with excessive details, might signal attempts to divert attention. These alterations in communication can serve as red flags, prompting a need for open dialogue to address concerns. Trusting your instincts and being responsive to such signs can contribute to maintaining honesty and transparency in a relationship.

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Other common signs of lying are unusual calmness and reluctance to touch the partner while speaking.

These are certain signs of falsehood and untruthfulness that can indicate that your partner is lying. However, these are not confirmations. The only way to be sure is to ask your partner. But this can be tricky and daunting. To make it easier for you, we have included a simple guide on how you can confront your spouse if you suspect they are lying to avoid any misinterpretation. Keep reading.

How To Confront A Lying Spouse?

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  • Be calm and composed. It is important to be objective for a proper and honest discussion.
  • Understand the reason you want to confront your spouse and be prepared for the consequences that follow.
  • Talk to them without accusing them of deceit, fraudulence, and duplicity or insincerity. Have a transparent conversation. Let them know that you want to understand the situation and are open to resolving issues with them.
  • Ask them direct questions. Leave no room for vagueness, prevarication, perjury, or assumptions.
  • Be attentive and understanding. Listen to their reasons respectfully.
  • Do not blame them for cheating, treachery, dishonesty, or being judgmental. At the same time, be careful to be objective. Do not fall for any emotional manipulation.
  • Keep your cool even if you get blamed for fabrication, falsification, disloyalty, or dismissed.
  • Make an informed decision depending on the outcome of the conversation. Take time out. Have multiple conversations. Be empathic and guile, but also stand your ground.
  • It is your personal choice to decide what you want to do after the confrontation. Be truthful to yourself. Tell your partner you are hurt by their mendacity. If it is something you cannot tolerate in the future, let them know. Be clear about it.
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  • You can also involve a therapist or a relationship coach if you want to work on the situation.
  • Infographic: 7 Signs That Indicate Your Partner Might Be Lying To You

    Some recent changes in your partner’s behavior have led you to suspect they are lying, but you are not sure if those are obvious signs of betrayal. Don’t worry! Let us help you clear your mind. In the following infographic, we have summarized the top 7 signs that indicate your partner might be lying to you. Check it out now to clear or confirm all your suspicions.

    7 signs that indicate your partner might be lying to you (infographic)

    Illustration: StyleCraze Design Team

    Get the high-quality PDF version of this infographic.

    Download Infographic in PDF version

A habit of constantly lying to your partner can jeopardize your relationship much worse than you can imagine. It dilutes the trust between the partners, making it difficult for them to work together as a team. So, you must look for signs that may point toward the fact that your spouse is lying to you regularly and mend the situation at the earliest. For instance, they may be lying to you if they avoid eye contact, act defensively while talking to you, and try to change the subject when you broach a topic.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the one thing all liars have in common?

Individuals lie for various reasons; some are compulsive liars and some lie to meet their objectives. It is therefore hard to find any one thing that is common amongst all liars, except for the fact that all liars are dishonest, and deception and betrayal are common traits in them.

How do liars react when accused?

The most common reaction of a liar when confronted or accused is denial. They may also act defensively or try to shift the blame and guilt to the person accusing them.

How does lying in a marriage affect the relationship?

Lying in a marriage leads to distrust and conflicts. Eventually, you lose faith in the relationship and cannot trust anything your partner says, leading you to go your separate ways.

When to leave a lying spouse?

It might be time to leave your spouse if they keep lying and hiding things from you despite you trying to talk to them about it. No matter how many times you have implored them to be honest with you, they keep lying and breaking your trust.

Is a lying partner toxic?

Compulsive lying is a toxic trait in a relationship that ends up affecting your mental health and harms your sense of worth and self-respect.

Key Takeaways

  • Honesty and transparency are two important things in any successful relationship.
  • Doubting your spouse without any reason may cause rifts in your relationship. So, do not assume anything without cues.
  • Signs like changes in body language, lack of intimacy, and anger issues may indicate something is wrong with your partner.
  • In such cases, it is best to confront your partner and discuss the matter, but calmly.
how to tell if your spouse is lying

Image: Stable Diffusion/StyleCraze Design Team

Get essential tips and advice to address the issue of a deceitful spouse. Watch this empowering video to discover the pathway to a trustworthy and sincere relationship.

Personal Experience: Source

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