How To Tell Your Husband You Want A Divorce

Written by Harini Natarajan, Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner

Divorce is a difficult decision to make. Breaking the news to your husband can be challenging, and he is likely to be caught off guard. Here, we have discussed how to tell your husband you want a divorce and cushion the blow. Unexpected emotional outbursts, disputes, and arguments may result from such interactions. To prevent such complicated situations, you must tell the news with extreme caution. You must evaluate your husband’s emotional state, how the news may affect him, and how you might deliver the news sympathetically. This article discusses some ways to tell your husband that your marriage is over without hurting him unnecessarily. Continue reading to know more.

How to Tell Your Husband Your Marriage Is Over

How to Tell Your Husband Your Marriage Is Over


1. Be Mentally Prepared

Ending a marriage is a life-changing step, and you must take time to prepare yourself mentally. It is a difficult conversation to have, and there is no perfect script to it, but you must think it through and be clear on what you want to say. Introspect your decision before breaking the news to your husband. If you have already made up your mind, let them know that you want to discuss something with them and take their time.

2. Be Calm and Centered

Take some time to calm your mind and focus on your feelings. After hearing the news, your husband will be upset – visualize the conversation and decide how you will respond to their emotional outbursts. Your hesitation and unpreparedness will give him scope to deter you. Do not act out of haste or anger. One can be impulsive when emotions are running high. This will help you respond to their anger calmly.

3. Do Not Be Harsh With Your Words

Plan how you are going to start the conversation and what you are going to say. Do not be harsh with your words and avoid blaming them for everything. Ending a marriage will be hard for your husband as well. Remember that and empathize with their situation. Using harsh words may make him defensive and lead to an argument. Your aim is not to hurt them but to end things amicably. Tell him what exactly you want and how you intend to go about it. Discuss the possibilities of moving out and about your children, if you have any.

4. Pick The Location Carefully

Pick The Location Carefully


Avoid a public spectacle. Try not to cause him unnecessary embarrassment and trigger him. Preferably pick a safe and quiet place where you can talk without interruptions. If your husband has a bad temper, then make sure you have a family member or confidant with you.

5. Communicate Clearly

Be sincere and direct. Explain to him that you have considered all options before reaching this decision and not doing this on a whim. Make the speech short and sweet and stick to the point. Explain why you decided to go for a divorce and how you plan to go about it.

6. Give Him Time To Digest The News

Once you have conveyed the message, stop for a while. Let your husband process the information. Let him respond, and then you can carry on the conversation. He might have numerous questions and doubts – be patient, listen to them, and answer everything without getting irritated or agitated. He may even have an emotional outburst. In such a case, be calm and do not react or retaliate.

7. Establish Boundaries And Maintain Them

Once you have delivered the news, it is evident that you may feel bad about your husband. You have spent so many days and years together and have created beautiful memories – all these feelings will overflow your mind, and you may want to comfort your husband. Do not do that. Maintain a distance and let him get over it himself. If you try to comfort him, that will give him mixed signals that you still care about him, and if he tries a bit, he may even convince you to change your mind.

8. Do Not Defend Yourself

Do Not Defend Yourself


You may feel the urge to tell him how his behavior has led you to this point, how he has neglected you all this time, and remind him of all his shortcomings to justify your demand for divorce. Do not do this. Even if all the reasons are genuine, criticizing him at that point can lead to a further mess.

Instead, just announce your decision. Listen to him and empathize with him so that he knows you understand. Recounting who did what and who failed who is not going to resolve the issue. Instead, acknowledge that both are responsible for the failed relationship.

To Conclude

A divorce is a life-altering decision, and the process is never easy. The way you convey the message is going to shape the path of your divorce proceedings. He might be unhappy, or he might have wanted to convey the same but could not – whatever be the case, you want to end the process smoothly. So, treat him with respect, listen to them, and be ready to deal with your spouse’s reaction. Hopefully, the pointers mentioned above will help you gain an understanding of the process.

Frequently Asked Questions

What are the signs that you should get a divorce?

If both of you do not trust each other and there is a lack of communication and intimacy, it is clear that the relationship is not going smooth. However, if your partner is not ready to work through the issues, there is no point in dragging it.

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