8 Things To Do When Your Husband Ignores You

Ignorance may signal underlying issues, and prompt action can aid in resolving them.

Reviewed by Hemali Adhiya, ICF Certified Relationship Coach Hemali Adhiya Hemali AdhiyaICF Certified Relationship Coach facebook_iconyoutube_iconinsta_icon
Written by , Integrated MA, Certified Relationship Coach Sneha Tete Integrated MA, Certified Relationship Coach linkedin_icon Experience: 4 years
Edited by , BSc Shatabdi Bhattacharya BSc Experience: 2.5 years
Fact-checked by , MA Gracia Odile MA Experience: 3 years

Arguments and fights are part and parcel of every relationship. Sometimes, they even eliminate misunderstandings and bring people closer. However, it can be problematic if your partner gives you the silent treatment for too long.

Are you wondering what to do when your husband ignores you? And are fights always the reason for him creating the distance? There could be many reasons why your husband is maintaining this distance, and it is best to get to the root of it before taking any action. If you’re struggling to communicate with your partner and feel disconnected, there are steps you can take to rebuild the lost trust, respect, and understanding with a bit of compromise. From learning to seek forgiveness and reconciliation, to finding new ways to connect and communicate, we have listed down a few ways to help you fix this issue and reconnect with your partner. Scroll down to know more.

Possible Reasons Behind Your Husband’s Neglecting Behavior

There could be several reasons for a man to ignore his wife or for a woman to feel ignored by her husband. We’ve listed some below:

1. Lack of Proper Communication

Lack of effective communication between you both can leave you feeling neglected by your husband. Your man could be avoiding conversation with you without telling you what’s bothering him while feeling upset or stressed out at the same time. See if you can figure out what’s bothering him because men often do not feel comfortable expressing their feelings. Even though your husband’s actions may be hurting you a lot, remember that he has probably never been taught how to communicate properly when he is upset. It’s possible for him to share what’s bothering if him you initiate a conversation about this.

2. When He Is Not Happy In The Relationship

Your husband may ignore you if he is unhappy with the relationship
Image: Shutterstock

If you observe sudden changes in his mood, it can be an indication that your husband is unhappy in the relationship. He may often bring up some past issues and complain about them in the present. You also notice that he is getting frustrated with little things, doesn’t notice you or doesn’t compliments you anymore. Whatever the situation may be, he is unsure of how to deal with these changed feelings. So, he simply starts ignoring you instead of admitting what’s bothering him.

3. When His Priorities Change

When your husband spends more time with his friends or on other digital devices than with you, you may start feeling neglected. In some cases, he may not be intending to ignore you. But in a few cases, the neglect could be intentional. He needs to be reminded that he can still be in touch with his friends without neglecting you. If the pattern continues, take it is a sign that he does not want to spend time with you.

4. When There Is A Misunderstanding Between You Two

A simple misunderstanding between you both can be the reason why your husband is suddenly ignoring you. Miscommunication feeds itself. Once couples get caught up in negative communication, they find it hard to correct it. If your husband is giving you the cold shoulder, it could be his reaction to being hurt. If he is really upset about something, ignoring you might be his way of getting some space to think about the problem and process his feelings.

5. When You Are Always Trying To Find Faults In Him

Misunderstandings, arguments, and disagreements are common in any relationship. But, in those heated conversations, if you point out his faults, it can lead to further conflict. Of course, it may not be your intention to blame him, but it will still have a negative result. Pointing out his mistakes can be hurtful for a man, especially if it is expressed in the form og nagging. Result? He starts ignoring you.

6. When He Is Stressed

Some things in life – like work pressure, financial matters, family issues, or health problems – can cause stress. It can be one of the factors that can affect your husband’s mood. If he is in any of these situations, he might not be able to spend some quality time with you as usual. High stress levels often interfere with a couple’s ability to communicate effectively, manage conflicts, and connect emotionally. Check if your partner is dealing with stress-related issues because it could be why he is ignoring you.

7. When The Level Of Intimacy Changes

Your husband may ignore you if the level of intimacy has changed
Image: Shutterstock

Physical intimacy plays a key role in your relationship. It is natural to have less sex when you are in a long-term relationship. There could be many reasons for this, like stress outside the relationship or low sex drive. If you and your partner are not able to enjoy sex, he may start avoiding getting intimate with you. Silent treatment or overthinking will not solve your problem. So try to communicate about this issue with your husband.

8. When He Is Cheating On You

When you feel like his attention is somewhere else all the time, it may be a sign that he is cheating on you. Infidelity could be a possible reason behind the growing distance between a couple. If your husband likes some other person, you can clearly notice a change in his behavior and affection. He suddenly needs a lot of privacy, avoids intimacy with you, tries to stay away from you, or starts caring a lot about his appearance. But, unless you have solid proof, it is not a good idea to come to any conclusion. Remember, cheating is not always physical, but sometimes also emotional.

These are some common reasons why your husband might be ignoring you. We’re not leaving you fretting about these reasons without some solutions for when your husband ignores you.

What To Do When Your Husband Ignores You?

1. Give Him Some Space

Giving each other space is a good thing in any relationship. It might not be anything serious than work pressure or other stress issues. They do not feel comfortable discussing the same. But, he will eventually come to you and share his feelings. So, try and give him some space to solve his issues, which is just how most men like dealing with stuff. Instead of worrying about being neglected, stay positive and calm, and give him time to get back to normal, and offer gentle hugs as a reassurance of you being there for him.

protip_icon Quick Tip
Holding space for your husband may be difficult if you are struggling with negative emotions arising from the situation. Instead of shutting down emotionally or distancing yourself from him, try movement therapy, physical exercise, or journaling as a way to release your pent-up emotions so that you can be there for him with an open heart and mind.

2. Try To Be Kind And Positive

You never know what might be the reason behind your husband’s behavior. If he is going through a bad phase, help him come out of it. One good way to react to his neglecting behavior is to remain calm and try to practice positive thinking. It may be difficult for you to handle the situation at first, but being rude to him won’t solve the problem. When you are kind and friendly with your husband during his bad times, he may realize how you don’t deserve his behavior and might end up opening up to you.

3. Initiate Communication

If your husband ignores you initiate communication
Image: Shutterstock

Communication is the key when it comes to resolving any issues in a marriage. If your husband is ignoring you, take a step forward and talk to him. In general, men stop talking when they are upset or depressed about something. A healthy conversation is always better than the blame game. If you did hurt him, sit with your husband, apologize, and clear the air between you both.

protip_icon Quick Tip
A good way to initiate a conversation when there has been prolonged silence is to begin by asking him if it is a good time to talk and share your feelings with him. Once both of you are in the space of attention, begin by expressing how you are feeling. Preferably use “I feel…” statements such as “I feel insecure/worried/sad/angry/helpless about the recent lack of communication and intimacy between us.” This helps you give him the opportunity to explain himself without feeling blamed or judged, which may put him on the defensive.

4. Try To Fulfill His Needs

Men are usually not very expressive. If your husband starts ignoring you, it might be because you are unable to understand or meet some of his needs and wants. Think about what that could be and you can work towards meeting those needs. Ask him about what he wants and create a gateway for effective communication between you two. Try to fulfill his needs with honesty and fill the gap.

5. Bring Back The Spark

Analyze your husband’s mood and look out for areas where the spark is missing in your relationship. Bring back that missing spark in your marriage with things that you both haven’t tried before. Blow his mind with more intimacy and reconnect with him. You can plan a romantic evening or get adventurous with your man. There is nothing wrong with taking initiative, and this is one thing that you both should think about to make your relationship successful.

6. Try To Reconnect With Him

Make a conscious effort to reconnect with him. Approach him with tenderness and show him that you are receptive to whatever he wants to say to you. If you find that he wants to talk with you first, show appreciation for his positive behavior to initiate the communication. Don’t argue with him as it will only drive him further away.

7. Analyze The Situation

If your husband has been ignoring you, start analyzing the situations that have come up recently. It will help you tackle the issues better. Try to identify which incident made him start neglecting you this way. The faster you identify the cause of your husband’s behavior, the faster you will be able to find resolution between you two. Analyzing the situation can help you deal with it without making it worse.

8. Seek Counseling Or Coaching

If your husband ignores you seek counseling
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Most divorced couples regret not seeking professional help at the right time. Despite all your efforts, if your husband still ignores you, marriage counseling or marriage coaching is the best option for you both. Also, seeking help from a professional doesn’t mean that your marriage has come to an end. It only means that you and your husband are willing to work on your unresolved issues.

A blogger shares her experience and reason for going for couples counseling in her personal blog. She feels there is nothing wrong with taking help from professionals in commitment and communication. She says, “We both agreed that learning how to communicate, and mold our daily lives, and cope with arguments in a better way, couldn’t be a bad thing, and it would more likely progress father with a third, neutral person, who also happens to be an expert on marriage (i).”

There are certain things that you are not supposed to do when your husband ignores you. Scroll down to learn what they are.

What Not To Do When Your Husband Ignores You?

Husband ignoring his wife
Image: Shutterstock

Here are a few things that you should avoid doing when your partner is neglecting you:

1. Don’t Fight With Your Husband

When he is ignoring you, stop fighting with him. You may feel angry and pick a fight with him in frustration when he starts neglecting you. But, fighting with your husband at that point may make matters worse. Once you begin fighting with him, many past unresolved problems may start cropping up, which can complicate the present situation. So, don’t fight with your husband because you don’t know his state of mind.

2. Don’t Bring Up The Past

Bringing up the past to blame or embarrass him will only make him more stoic. If he had apologized for something he did in the past, it should be left in the past. Otherwise, he may start resenting you and believe you aren’t someone who can take apologies. The neglecting you part will then last longer.

3. Don’t Shut Him Up

Let your husband know that you are there for him and support him no matter what he is going through. Don’t shut him down – listen to him and try to understand his feelings. Marriage is not about winning an argument. It is a lifelong journey that you both need to take together. Listen to understand, not to respond. A little self-examination and analysis of the situation can help you understand why your husband is ignoring you.

Infographic: 4 Helpful Tips To Follow When Your Husband Ignores You

Are you wondering what to do when your husband ignores you for long after a fight or creates distance without any reason? We present you with 4 ways to deal with such situations and make a comfortable middle ground. Read the infographic to fix this issue without any further conflict.

4 helpful ways when your husband ignores you (infographic)

Illustration: StyleCraze Design Team

Every relationship goes through various ups and downs. However, problems and issues don’t necessarily mean that your bond has reached a point of no salvation. If you feel your husband is ignoring you, it is better to consider the possible reasons for this behavior rather than giving up. He could be unhappy, stressed, or struggling with communication, leading to a misunderstanding. You should always look for signs of cheating and a change in your level of intimacy. In case any of the above signs are present, it would help to initiate a conversation and give him space to reconnect with you freely.

Frequently Asked Questions

How long should the silent treatment last?

Everyone needs some time to cool down and gather their thoughts after going through aggravating situations. However, this has to be communicated or requested. To make sense of things and circumstances, taking a few hours or a weekend off after communicating the need for it is healthy. However, using silent treatment as a weapon to support one’s own ulterior motives is unhealthy.

How do I get my husband to talk to me after a fight?

The air could still be tense after a fight, and reaching out to your partner might seem like an overwhelming task. You need to read the room, give yourself and him some time to cool down and assess the situation, be willing to accept your shortcomings and communicate your intention to set things right with your partner. Remember to be patient and avoid playing blame games.

What type of person gives the silent treatment?

The silent treatment is a manipulative trick to gaslight people. It is mostly used by people who are prone to narcissistic behavior.

Is it normal for couples not to talk for days?

Yes, it is quite normal in long-distance relationships for couples to not be able to take off much time from their adult responsibilities and talk to each other. Even couples who live together or close to each other may get more opportunities to interact, but having real, deep conversations could happen only once in several days.

Why does my husband ignore me when I cry?

There could be many reasons why your partner is ignoring your tears. They might not know how to console a crying person, feel guilty and undeserving of consoling you, or be emotionally unavailable. Try to communicate your feelings to them; if you find it hard to connect emotionally, you might want to consider couples counseling.

Key Takeaways

  • Lack of effective communication can leave a partner feeling neglected by the husband.
  • Give your husband space and time. Stay calm and patient until he feels comfortable and shares his thought.
  • You may try to initiate communication to clear the air.
  • However, avoid digging up the past to blame or embarrass him. This will worsen things.
things to do when your husband ignores you

Image: Stable Diffusion/StyleCraze Design Team

Feeling ignored by your husband? Worry not, we have got your back. Check out this video for helpful tips and advice.

Personal Experience: Source

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Hemali Adhiya

Hemali AdhiyaICF Certified Relationship Coach

Hemali is an ICF-Certified ACC Level Life Coach with 3 years of experience in relationship, marriage, and grief coaching. Her sessions aim to bring about transformation in her clients’ lives, perspectives, and relationships. She works with her clients to help them evolve in their problem areas and find new meaning in their lives, thus finding the best versions of themselves.read full bio

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