Is He The One? 40 Signs To Look For Before Commitment

Learn what signs help you decide to commit to the person you spend the rest of your life with.

Reviewed by Sarah Kenville, MA (Marriage and Family Therapy) Sarah Kenville Sarah KenvilleMA (Marriage and Family Therapy) facebook_iconinsta_icon
Written by , Integrated MA, Certified Relationship Coach Sneha Tete Integrated MA, Certified Relationship Coach linkedin_icon Experience: 4 years
Edited by , MA (English) Subhrojyoti Mukherjee MA (English) linkedin_icon Experience: 4 years
Fact-checked by , Integrated MA (English) Gazala Firdos Ansari Integrated MA (English) linkedin_icon Experience: 2 years
Last Updated on

Is he the one? That is the question that starts running through your mind when you have been dating an incredible man. His loving personality may have made you gaga and fall in love with him, with the hope that he is your soulmate. Well, just because you are having a good time with him does not mean he is the one you need to tie the knot with.

People cross one another’s paths for many reasons. And, while you may be ready to accept him completely, you must be certain that he is ready to committ to the relationship for the foreseeable future too. So, how do you know if he is the right guy for you? Here are 40 signs to look for in a person before determining if he is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with. Keep reading!

Is He The One? The 40 Most Important Signs To Look For

1. You Both Are Compatible

You know that he is the chosen one when you are compatible with him. While being attracted to a person is important, compatibility helps you realize if you can actually have a life together. Being compatible can mean many things, from liking similar things to getting along with each other’s friends and even having good physical and sexual chemistry. If you can picture a happy daily life with this man, even in stressful situations, then he could be the one for you.

2. He Makes You Feel Comfortable

Is he really the one if you do not feel comfortable with him? If you still hide things from him, and vice versa, and if you are hesitant to share parts of your life out of fear of judgment, you are uncomfortable with him. On the contrary, if you can tell him everything about yourself, even during the worst situations, without being afraid that he’ll judge you – or worse, leave – then he could be the one.

3. There Is Mutual Respect Between You Two

Every successful relationship is based on mutual love and respect. You may love a person but not respect them, or vice versa. While love and respect are not mutually exclusive, you need both of these to have a successful marriage. If the guy you are dating loves you but does not respect you, this could be one of the signs that he is not the one.

4. You Complement Each Other

A beautiful couple rowing together in a serene lake
Image: Shutterstock

Complementing a person does not necessarily mean agreeing with them on everything or getting along with them at all times. Simply knowing that you two can have different opinions on certain things without it causing conflict matters in a relationship.

5. He Gives You Space And Respects Your Independence

Is he the one for you if he does not give you space? A man who respects your independence and understands that you have a life that does not involve him deserves your hand in marriage. It is important to need time away from one another, have space to live your life the way you want, and have that person as a part of your life. You should be able to maintain your individuality and identity in the relationship.

6. He Is Kind And Thoughtful Towards You

Sometimes, love is not enough to keep a relationship going. It is so much more than just that – there needs to be respect and kindness in the relationship for it to last a long time. One of the important signs to look for to decide whether he is the one is to see how he treats you. If your man treats you with compassion and is thinking about your feelings, it is a sign that you are in a healthy relationship.

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You may also observe how he behaves with others and handles conflict with others to see if he is more kind or more critical.

7. You Can Be Yourself With Him

“How do I know he is the one for me?” This is a common question most people ask themselves after being with a man for quite some time. The best answer to this is that he is the one for you if you can be yourself with him. Rather than changing your qualities and attributes, if this man acknowledges and appreciates you for your true self, you should take the next step.

Elizabeth Carlton, a blogger, shares in her personal blog how she knew that her husband was the one for her. She felt an instant connection and chemistry with him, stating, “There was something about him that put me at ease. I was completely myself around him, without reservation, in a way that I hadn’t experienced even with my closest friends (i).”

8. He Is Not In It Just For The Sex

One of the biggest signs that he is not the one is if the person is just with you for sex. While sexual intimacy is important in a relationship, if you both cannot be each other’s companions and are just looking to get something physical from each other, you should reconsider getting married.

9. He Protects You

A good man will always make you feel safe and protected, whether it is physically or emotionally. How can he possibly be the right one if he does not make you feel safe? A great sign that he could be the one for you is that he protects you not just from physical injury but also from dangerous and emotionally challenging situations.

Introducing you to his parents is a sign he is the one for you
Image: Shutterstock

10. He Has Introduced You To His Family

They say marriage is not just about two people but two families. So, if you are confused about whether he is the one, consider if he has introduced you to his family. A man who is serious about you will ensure that his entire family knows about the love of his life. Take a step back to think if you can sense uncertainty regarding his commitment to the relationship.

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However, do not rush the process. Though there is no ideal time for the introduction, it is best to introduce him at least four or five months into the relationship.

11. He Makes You Feel Wanted

Any man who wants a future with you will do everything he can to make you feel loved and wanted. This means more than just showering you with gifts. If he asks you for your opinion on things and decisions, considers your plans and wishes, or even thinks about you in random situations, he is a man you can have a future with.

12. You See A Similar Future With Each Other

How do you know if he is the one in your destiny? If you both acknowledge each other when you talk about the future, then you have nothing to worry about. A man who wants to make you his life partner will always include you in his future plans, whether it is a random family meeting, a summer vacation, or even a sudden date night at the park. Marry the guy if he thinks about you as much as you think about him.

13. He Does Not Discriminate Against You

If the man you are dating abuses you, discriminates against you, and always acts like he is the better person, then he is not the right one. The right man will always do right by you, treat you equally, and address your feelings.

14. You Connect With Each Other

A relationship is more than just sex. If you cannot feel connected on an emotional and spiritual level with this person, he may not be the one for you. Simply feeling close to him and feeling like you can trust him with anything means you connect with him on a deeper level, which means you can safely consider marrying him.

15. He Makes You Feel Safe

A lovely couple posing in the backdrop of a forest happy in each other's company
Image: Shutterstock

Any guy who makes you feel like you can conquer anything in the world, understands you, makes you feel happy and safe, and does right by you is worth marrying. Even after seeing the worst possible sides of you, if he still makes you feel safe without any insecurities, then he is the one.

16. He Wants Your Happiness

One of the best signs that suggest that he is the one for you is if he simply wants you to be happy – even if that means your happiness lies with someone else. A guy who is ready to do anything for your happiness is a guy you should marry.

17. He Goes Out Of His Way For You

When he is the one, it does not matter what you need him for or when you need him – he will go out of his way and come to you. Whether you are in some danger, need his advice, or just want someone to lend you a shoulder, he will find a way to come to you and make everything alright. This is a guy who loves you and is worth marrying.

18. He Communicates With You, Even When You Fight

If you can talk about anything and share intimate details with this man without having to worry about things getting ugly or him leaving, then there is a good chance that you both are heading in the right direction.

19. He Feels Like Home

One of the biggest signs that he is the one is that he feels like home. If you can be yourself with this person and feel comfortable, happy, and completely at ease, then this is a person you can have a future with.

20. You Are Attracted To Him

Even after being with this man for a long time, if you still feel attracted to him, physically and emotionally, then you are with the right person. Attraction to a person can often fade with time, thereby causing cracks in the relationship. Therefore, with time, if you both are still attracted and interested in each other and are putting effort into making the relationship exciting, then you may be with the right person.

21. He Listens To You

If he listens to you and is curious about your habits, likes, dislikes, and the littlest things about you, that is when you know he is the one. Listening could also mean him asking about your day, hearing you rant about work, or just about anything else, for that matter. The right guy will always make it a point to listen to you.

22. He Supports Your Dreams

When the man you are dating supports your dreams and goals, believes in you, and encourages you to pursue them, that is when you know he is the one. The right man will always be your biggest supporter and loudest cheerleader.

23. He Can Be Both Serious And Goofy With You

How do you know that he is the one? The right man will not be afraid to show you his goofy and vulnerable side. He will be serious during serious moments and show his silly side to make you laugh during lighthearted moments.

24. He Calls You Even When He Is Busy

Any man who makes sure to call you or text you even when he is busy is a keeper. Regardless of how busy he is with work or other things, if he still calls you to check on you, what you are doing, or even how your day was, then he is the one.

25. He Respects Your Friends And Family

When asking yourself if he is the one for you, see how he treats your family and friends. If a guy is genuinely interested in a future with you, he will be respectful to your friends and family. He will treat them respectfully and with kindness while maintaining a good relationship with them.

26. He Loves You For Who You Are

A guy loving you for who you are as a person is the biggest sign that he is the one. The right man will love your true personality without asking you to change things about yourself. He will think that you are amazing just the way you are.

27. He Has Dreams And Goals Of His Own

If he is the one, he will have his own goals and dreams to achieve. A man who is independent and pursues his passion is one who will also support you when it comes to your dreams and aspirations. This is a man worth living life with.

28. He Apologizes When He Is Wrong

When you ask yourself if he the right one for you, pay attention to how he reacts when you argue and he is in the wrong. A man who accepts his mistakes and apologizes to you during or after an argument, especially when he is wrong, is one you can spend your life with.

29. He Challenges You To Be Better

He is the one if he challenges you to be a better person. He will not be afraid to speak his mind and tell you his opinions on things, even when they differ from yours. He will provoke your thoughts and stimulate your mind to think differently.

Caring about your opinion is a sign he is the one for you
Image: Shutterstock

30. He Cares About Your Opinions

Regardless of what topic it is – from politics, daily life, work, clothes, food, or places – a man is serious about his feelings for you if he cares about your opinions and includes you in his life’s decisions. This is especially true if he remembers what you say and recalls it later.

31. He Is Ready To Have A Future With You

When a man has no doubts in his mind that he is ready to have a future with you and is confident about it is when you know he is the one. This man will not second guess himself and tell you that he wants to be with you and no one else. He will remain committed to you and make you his priority. You can feel confident in your fate by sharing your destiny with this man.

32. He Is a Gentleman

He is the one if he is a gentleman. Whether it means bringing you flowers, walking you to your door, or pulling a chair for you at the table – he will always be a gentleman when he is with you.

33. He Remembers Things About You

If he actually cares about you and is serious about having a future with you, this man will remember the most minute details about you. From what songs you like to the way you like your coffee, he will always keep these details in mind when he is with you.

34. He Surprises You

Boyfriend surprises his girlfriend with a beautiful gift
Image: Shutterstock

When your man does unpredictable things, based on his intuition of what will make you happy, that is when you know he is the one. Whether it is spoiling you with gifts, bringing your favorite food home for dinner, or simply showing up at your door with flowers – he will not get tired of trying to impress you.

35. He Is Good With Kids

The next step to marriage involves kids. So, if your man is good with kids, then he may be the one. A perfect man will not just be gentle with children, but he will also play with them, comfort them, and discipline them the right way. Moreover, he makes an attempt to be as involved in their lives as he possibly can.

36. He Is Your Friend First

Being friends with the love of your life is the best thing ever. Building your relationship on friendship is very important since it gives you the chance to understand each other better. In addition to spending time together, you also learn about their quirks and become their support system, which is crucial in a relationship. If he cannot be your friend, then he may not be the one.

37. He Can Understand You Even Without You Having to Speak

If he understands you just with your facial expressions or the way you hug him, then he is the one. You could be in a room full of people, and yet, without saying a word, he understands what you want. That is the sign of a great relationship.

38. He Makes You Forget The Past

You will know that he is the one when you are with him and your past does not trouble you anymore. You will forget the problems, issues, hurt, and pain of any previous relationships and just be content and happy with him.

39. You Have Good Sexual Chemistry

Having good sexual chemistry with your partner is very important in a relationship. If you are to spend a lifetime with this person, you must build that chemistry, intimacy, and spark.

40. He Is Your Go-To Person

When he is the one, he will become your go-to person for everything when he is the one. Wheather it is a story about work or a funny meme you saw on Instagram, he will be the first person you think of when you want to tell things to someone.

Infographic: 10 Signs To Look For Before You Commit To Him

Saying yes to a relationship involves serious consideration. Once you are past the initial stage of infatuation and planning to take the road ahead together, it is important to know if he is truly ‘the one’ for you. If you are still confused, check out the infographic below for 10 vital signs to figure out if he is the right choice for you.

10 Signs To Look For Before You Commit To Him (infographic)

Illustration: StyleCraze Design Team

Look out for these 40 signs to know if he is the one for you. They will help you realize if your special person is special enough to spend your life with. However, it goes both ways in any healthy relationship. If your partner has been making regular efforts to improve, you must do the same. You both need to communicate honestly with each other and work together to build a strong level of understanding. It is a team effort.

Now that you know that your partner is the one for you, you must also be the one for them. Only then can you be sure to have a happy, loving, and long-lasting relationship.

Frequently Asked Questions

How long does it take to know if he is the one?

Everybody takes their own sweet time to confess their feelings. Therefore, there isn’t any set amount of time within which you can know if he is the one.

Is it normal to question if your partner is the one?

Yes, it is normal. Human emotions can be really unpredictable, often leaving you confused and wondering about your choice of partner. As your relationship grows, this feeling may pass, but if it starts to bother you a lot, it is time to resolve these unsettling feelings with your partner.

Can I use astrology or other methods to determine if someone is “the one”?

Astrology and other traditional methods of match-making can predict your compatibility with another, however, it takes a lot of effort and communication to be able to make a relationship work through good and bad times, even if the match turns out to be ideal. So, trust your instincts and spend time with your partner to get to know them for real, rather than solely relying on astrology.

How can I know he is the one in the first meeting?

If you feel comfortable in their company, share common views and perspectives about life, and feel respected by them, it indicates that he could be the one, and you should set up a second meeting to know more about them.

Key Takeaways

  • To determine if he is the right guy for you, you must be assured that he will commit to the relationship for the foreseeable future.
  • If you both are compatible and can envision a joyful daily life together, even in challenging times, he may be the one for you.
  • Ascertain that you both share a high level of understanding and that you communicate openly with one another.
  • Check out the signs below to see if you’ve discovered the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.

Curious if you’ve discovered your soulmate? Then watch this video that shows the top 10 signs that indicate you have found the love of your life.

Personal Experience: Source

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Sarah Kenville
Sarah KenvilleMA (Marriage and Family Therapy)
Sarah Kenville has a master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy and a law degree. She has 8 years of experience and offers premarital counseling and relationship coaching to dating, engaged, newlywed, and same-sex couples.

Read full bio of Sarah Kenville
Sneha Tete
Sneha TeteBeauty & Lifestyle Writer
Sneha has a master's degree in Applied Linguistics from the University of Hyderabad, a professional Relationship Coach diploma, and over four years of experience in writing. She writes about relationships and lifestyle.Sneha began her career as an instructional designer, shifted to freelance technical and research writing, and self-published a novella on the theme of adolescent mental health.

Read full bio of Sneha Tete
Subhrojyoti Mukherjee
Subhrojyoti MukherjeeAssociate Editor
Subhrojyoti is an associate editor at StyleCraze with four years of experience. He has a master’s degree in English from Presidency University, Kolkata, and has also done a post-graduate certificate course in Editing and Publishing from Jadavpur University, Kolkata.

Read full bio of Subhrojyoti Mukherjee
Gazala Firdos Ansari
Gazala Firdos AnsariBeauty & Lifestyle Writer
Gazala Ansari is a beauty and lifestyle writer with two years of experience. She writes on relationships, makeup, and lifestyle and has bachelor's and master's degrees in English literature from the Central University of Jharkhand.

Read full bio of Gazala Firdos Ansari
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