How To Identify Jealous Friends And Deal With Them

Written by Harini Natarajan , Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner

Friendship is all about unconditional support and love, but jealously can turn it toxic in a flash. This toxic feeling can be triggered by insecurity, fear, or anger, resulting from societal expectations, low self-esteem, or lack of confidence.

Society often puts unnecessary pressure on people, leading to a sense of comparison and insecurity among friends. However, feeling jealous or being the object of jealousy is pretty common. It is unharmful if the individual displays condescending behavior openly. But if jealousy festers under a veil of friendship, it can hamper the mental health of both parties involved.

So, it becomes important to nip the issue in the bud. Check out this article to know how jealously manifests in friendship and how you can address it without spoiling your bond. Keep scrolling.

8 Signs Of A Jealous Friend

8 Signs Of A Jealous Friend


Admiring others’ success is described as positive envy that helps us achieve something for ourselves, too. On the other hand, jealousy crops up when a toxic friend doesn’t appreciate your success or happiness and tries to ruin it.

For instance, you might be sharing a new achievement or providing a sneak peek into your upcoming travel, and your friend just shrugs off their shoulder. Such signs and indications can help you understand their intentions, and they might be jealous of you. Here are a few other behavior patterns that might give them up:

1. Greeting Good News With A Negative Approach

It might often happen that you have been successful in your professional field and wanted to share it with your closest friend. Instead of congratulating you, the friend might point out the possible negative outcomes of the achievement. They might even acknowledge and congratulate you in such a way that might sound false-hearted.

2. Everything Is About Them

An envious friend will never listen to you and your stories. Instead, they wait for you to complete a statement and cut in between with their story. In a perfect conversation, one might reply to the other, and empathy develops between the two. But in the case of a toxic friend, everything shall only revolve around them.

3. They Do Not Support You

Your jealous friend will never support you in your endeavor, whether it is a job, a relationship, or any other accomplishment. They may even hurt you with their sharp words and dishearten you about your achievement. Stop before you get drowned!

4. They Copy You Covertly

You may not notice, but your friend imitates you secretly. Competition arises when your best friend (so-called) copies you and mirrors your dressing style or perhaps mimics your speech.

5. They Make You Feel Bad About Yourself

A begrudging friend can make you feel incompetent even if you have succeeded. No matter how you feel about your success, if your close friend disapproves of you, you will not enjoy it fully. A friend may also envy you and not showcase it in front of you. They instill negativity within you, making you feel bad about yourself.

6. They Struggle With Insecurity

Your friend becomes clingy, especially when you make new friends. They start blaming your new friends for anything that goes wrong, criticizing you, and trying to isolate you from others. Toxic people tend to get insecure and feel that they are being replaced. They suffer from an inferiority complex, which triggers the feeling of jealousy.

7. They Often Lie To Gain Sympathy

Toxic and jealous friends always have a set story at the back of their minds. They may even cook up instant stories to escape a situation and lie to gain your sympathy. They are insecure creatures who are unsure of their egos as well.

8. They Might Try To Outdo You

A jealous friend may try to supersede you and outdo you whenever they can. You buy a car, and they will try to overtake you by buying an upgraded model of the same car.

Jealousy can persist between friends and even develop over time. If you notice the above signs of jealousy in your friend, try to figure out the differences that may have come between you. Rather than painting your friend as a villain, focus on saving your friendship. Head to the next section for ways to address this issue.

How To Deal With Jealous Friends

How To Deal With Jealous Friends


Even if your friend’s behavior annoys you, you should ensure that your precious friendship is not destroyed due to silly reasons. The way you start the conversation makes an enormous difference in the status of your relationship with your friend. You can go through the following steps to deal with your jealous friend:

1. Respond Constructively

Friends with insecurity need constant support and compassion. It will help if you make every effort to settle the issue. Reduce your friend’s bad behavior and insecurity initially and respond in a constructive way where your intentions should be clear and specific.

2. Comfort Your Friends But Don’t Let Yourself Down

Both of you should take the initiative to enhance your relationship. You can share the news of your success but make sure not to hurt your friend or bring negativity into the discussion. Jealousy is unfair in friendship, and instead of blaming each other, you must comfort your friend and understand the nature of your relationship. It will not only boost your friend’s confidence but also improve the relationship.

3. Jealousy Should Be Healthy

Jealousy may be healthy in a few cases, but engaging in a fight or avoiding each other can bring out toxicity. So, focus on establishing a healthy relationship with your friend and weed out any toxic jealousy.

4. Identify Your Friend’s Achievements And Strengths

You can smoothen out the situation by balancing the scales. Praise your friend for their work and achievements as often as you expect appreciation from them. They should not feel intimidated by your achievements or have a fear of getting replaced by someone else in your life. It is applicable for new friends as well as a love interest.

5. Confront The Feelings

Talk to your friend and vent your feelings, as staying silent will only worsen the situation. You should also assure your friend that no one can ever replace them and their position is intact in your life.

To Sum It Up

Friends should be encouraging and supportive at all times. They should celebrate your success like their own and grow with you. We hope you follow the steps listed above to transform jealousy into companionship and revitalize your bond with your friend.

That said, envy can sometimes prove to be a confidence booster and provide reinforcement to achieve better things. Unless jealousy is in the driving seat of your friendship, keep faith in your friend and let things take their course. You can practice gratitude and coping techniques to handle any incidents that disturb your mental peace. However, if nothing works, do not shy away from isolating yourself from the green-eyed friend for your betterment.

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