Maid Of Honor Vs. Matron Of Honor: Know The Difference

Traditionally, the distinction between the two is based on their relationship status.

Reviewed by Ricardo CruzRicardo Cruz, Certified Wedding Planner
By Shivani ChandelShivani Chandel, Certified Relationship Coach  • 

A wedding has a gazillion things to be looked at, and everything needs to be just perfect. Amidst all the hustle-bustle, you can’t be caught up in the confusion while deciding who to make your maid and matron of honor. And it would be a bigger fuss if you don’t know their significance. Plus, in terms of maid of honor vs. matron of honor, it would be a tough call to make if you had to choose one while you have to think about the caterers, decor, the band, and everything else.

When you come to think of it, there is very minimal dissimilarity amid a maid of honor and a matron of honor. Contrary to the concept of maid of honor, the matron of honor idea is not as typical and adapted by people at their weddings. For you to not get all confused with the different honors, we have assembled a guide for you to understand both the concepts and choose if you want to have either or both at your wedding.

Maid Of Honor Vs. Matron Of Honor

While we get into the whole debate of maid vs. matron of honor to know who you should have at your wedding, let’s understand who they really are first.

The head of all the bridesmaids is the maid of honor. She is responsible for wedding duties such as hosting the fun Bachelorette party or that amazing Bridal Shower. She also sometimes protects the bride from having cold feet or dealing with those pre-wedding jitters. She is appointed by the bride and is either the bride’s closest friend, sister, or relative. She is typically responsible for more duties than the other bridesmaids. Traditionally, she was someone who was young and unmarried, and the marital status is maintained in most weddings, but now, there are no hard and fast rules.

While continuing the matron of honor vs. maid of honor discussion, let us acquaint you with the idea of matron of honor. She, too, mainly helps the bride with the ring bearer’s gifts, the flower girls’ gifts, the bridesmaids’ gifts, in short helping out with the rest of the bridal function. She is somebody who is close to the bride as well.

The distinctive point between a matron and maid of honor, actually, is the marital status. The former is the one who is usually married, and the latter bears the status of being single. The word “matron” connotes the marital status as married, and the word “maid” connotes a woman being single.

Off lately, the honor of the attendants have also been given to the bride’s mothers. And if you want to twist it up a little and have a male friend as the Honor Attendant, you can provide them with the tag of the “Man of Honor” as well. Now, it all becomes easy if you want to include both of them in your wedding and they are both compatible with each other, and if not, you can just categorize their duties altogether. Check out how you can do that in the next section!

How To Include Both In Your Wedding?

To include both can be a challenge, especially when you have a million other things on your to-do list to accomplish. It could be a more significant challenge if both are not well acquainted and do not have a proper understanding between each other. There is no difference between their duties per se, but it’s best to divvy it up or ask them to do those tasks.

The best solution for you would be to divide and conquer. After all, you wouldn’t want your wedding to turn into a rendition of the Bridesmaids’ wars. Instead, you can look into these ways of including both of them in your wedding and make it a success.

You can refer to these pointers and thank us later!

  • Always Make Them Consult With You On Everything: You might be good with everything that both choose, but because it is your big day, it’s imperative that they consult you on every tiny decision. If there is any kind of trouble, you can make it right before anything gets really messed up.
Maid of honor consults bride on a decision

Image: Shutterstock

  • Divvy Up The Roles And Responsibilities By Understanding Their Interests: It will all be easier if you know both these two important persons’ interests. If one of them would like to take responsibility for helping you with the food and the other with what song the band would play on the wedding day, you could let them do what they want. But if they share the same interests, you can just divide the roles as you wish and feel convenient.
  • Decide On A Budget And Make Sure They Share All Costs: Trust us when we say that there could be a lot of problems around the budget in a wedding, especially when it is not decided on first. So, you should make sure that both the Honor Attendants have a budget that the bridal group agrees to, and they share all costs with the rest of the group equally. For instance, there shouldn’t be an issue while deciding if the bachelorette party should be hosted in Vegas or your local pub because of a budget crisis. It doesn’t have to be that matron of honor vs. maid of honor vs. bridesmaid war.
Bride deciding on the budget for maid of honor and matron of honor

Image: Shutterstock

  • Pick Different Attires For Both You Honor Attendants: If you really want them to stand out, you could pick different attires for them to bring out their individuality and give them a sense of belonging.
Maid of honor and matron of honor in different attires

Image: Shutterstock

  • Make Both The Attendants Stand At The Altar With You: To avoid any kind of misunderstanding and to make both feel the special place that they hold in your heart, you can ask both of them to accompany you and stand with you at the altar as your support system.
  • Rehearse The Wedding Day In Advance: If you plan ahead what both your Honor Attendants would be responsible for on your wedding day, it will make your life much easier. You could discuss who would stand beside you as the bride and who would hand over the ring and vows to you. Or you could decide who would give a maid of honor speech. There could always be two short speeches, but it’s best to know everything in detail from days ahead of the wedding.
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To make things smoother, start going on date nights months before the wedding with both the ladies so that they get well-acquainted with each other. Together you can all figure out how to be on the same page on every fundamental aspect of the big day.

Who Walks First: A Maid Of Honor Or A Matron Of Honor?

Bride standing with her maid of honor

Image: Shutterstock

Now, you are the bride, and there is no set pattern that you need to follow on your special day. But, if you are a real strickler and one who follows every small detail to the T, then we are here to tell you that the matron of honor walks down that beautiful aisle, followed by your maid of honor, the ring bearer, and the flower girl. But, at the end of the day, you do you, girl!

They could even walk down the decorated aisle together, but if they don’t wish to, they could have the best man from the groom’s party to escort them. The best would be if they could walk down solo; that could help them understand their importance and roles in the wedding even more.

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Establish transparent communication with your maid and matron of honor. Make sure neither assumes they are above the other. Let them know they are both equally important to you and you need them to work as a team.

Maid Of Honor Vs. Matron Of Honor Duties And Responsibilities

Maid of honor helping with the wedding dress shopping

Image: Shutterstock

So, what does a maid of honor do? And does a matron of honor carry out the same duties as her? Well, when we talk about matron of honor vs. maid of honor duties, we can say, they both don’t have different sets of tasks. They carry the same work, such as taking care of the unlimited number of pre-wedding tasks, hosting the bridal and bachelorette parties, helping with the wedding dress shopping, planning the reception, and various other miscellaneous duties that may come up in a wedding.

The key is to divide the duties, and they would be glad too because the less they have to do, less the pressure that they have to face! Just make sure that there is a clear line of communication about the wedding between all three of you, and you are good to go!

When the bride chooses a woman to be her closest friend and confidante during the wedding planning process, she is referred to as a maid or matron of honor. If the lady is single, she is referred to as the maid of honor. She is referred to as the matron of honor if she is married.

Traditional wedding customs are vital, but modern wedding customs are as adaptable as ever. For example, you have the freedom to choose only one matron of honor, allocate the title to many friends, or make everyone in your bridal party a bridesmaid. The beauty of organizing your wedding is that you may pick and choose the rituals that make the most sense for your special day.

Frequently Asked Questions

How many maids of honor can a bride have?

A bride can have two maids of honor.

Is it weird not to have a maid of honor?

It is normal not to have a maid of honor. In fact, it is pretty common in casual and small weddings.

Key Takeaways

  • A maid of honor and a matron of honor have essentially the same duties.
  • A matron of honor is married, while a maid of honor is single or unmarried.
  • You can include both in your wedding and divide the wedding duties between them.
  • If you want to include a male in your wedding party, it can be referred to as the Male of Honor.
  • Make sure to choose very close people for these important roles in your wedding. You will want someone who knows you well and whom you can completely trust if any issue comes up.

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