When To Move In Together: Signs You’re Ready To Take The Leap

A long-term, successful cohabitation necessitates more than love and commitment.

Reviewed by Mark Rosenfeld, Dating & Relationship Coach Mark Rosenfeld Mark RosenfeldDating & Relationship Coach facebook_icontwitter_iconlinkedin_iconyoutube_iconinsta_icon
Written by , MA (English Literature), Certified Relationship Coach Shivani Chandel MA (English Literature), Certified Relationship Coach Experience: 4 years
Edited by , MA (English) Subhrojyoti Mukherjee MA (English) Experience: 4 years
Fact-checked by , Integrated MA, Certified Relationship Coach Sneha Tete Integrated MA, Certified Relationship Coach linkedin_icon Experience: 4 years

So, you want to move in together. Taking your relationship to the next level is a joyous moment. You both are great as a couple and compatible, so moving in makes more sense than staying apart. But…

Moving in together involves more than just being romantic all day. From sharing space to taking up various responsibilities and waking up next to the same person every day – it can be a lot to adjust to. Also, you must make sure that you are moving in with the right person, and it should not feel forced. So, if you have been contemplating moving in together, give this post a read to get the clarification you need. Scroll down!

Signs You Are Ready to Move In Together

1. You Are Exclusive

You have been together for a long time, and you know that your relationship is exclusive. You have already become a part of your partner’s family, and their friends also love you. Moreover, both of you have been discussing your future together. And before you get married, you want to spend time together and be comfortable staying under the same roof with each other.

2. You Have Discussed Finances

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Love is not enough to take care of the rent and pay your bills. So, do not move in together just because you are deeply in love with each other. Discuss the financial implications. From paying for groceries and rent to electricity bills, decide who takes care of what.

If you are buying a house and moving in, decide how to settle the EMIs and manage the loans. Check the debt and income ratio. If you have done all of these and are financially stable to take the plunge, go ahead.

protip_icon Pro Tip
If both of you do not have the same income, you can pay for the rent of the house according to your income level, but divide the other expenses equally.

3. You Know How To Resolve Disagreements

Cohabiting calls for emotional and mental maturity, especially during disagreements. Earlier, during fights, you both may head towards your respective homes and take time to cool off. However, now you are stuck together under the same roof. You cannot just walk out of the relationship.

Instead, you must develop problem-solving skills, communicate openly with your partner, and resolve the issue maturely. If both of you agree to disagree and are mature enough to handle the differences and arguments calmly, you can move in together.

4. You Respect Each Other’s Space

It feels good to spend all your time with your special someone. However, everyone needs their personal space to unwind. While both of you have a life together, you have your worlds, and there is no harm in going back to it without your partner.

Although you share your lives, you have your personal space, and both should respect that. If you think you are okay when your partner takes some time off from you decide to focus on themselves, it’s a sign that you are ready to stay together as a couple.

protip_icon Quick Tip
Both of you can create a ‘me’ space in your apartment decorated and designed according to each of your preferences. You can prohibit the other from making any changes to that room or from entering it until you allow them to.

5. You Are Comfortable With The Embarrassing Things

During the initial phase of dating, most of us try to hold back the things we think others may find quirky or embarrassing. From having a dainty appetite to holding in gas, most of us pretend to put up a nice image. However, with time, you get so comfortable with your partner that you do not think twice before gorging that pizza slice in one go! If you think you can be yourself with the person you love, you can move in together.

6. You Know In Depth About Them

Move in together if you know everything about your partner
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From childhood stories and credit scores to family equations and their first kiss, you know a lot about your partner. Both of you are an open book to each other. Their openness indicates they trust you and see you as a confidante.

7. You Have Clarity Of The Shared Household Responsibilities

When you choose to live with someone, almost everything needs to be shared. From cooking meals, doing the laundry, and dusting the house to getting the groceries and taking the dog out – you have divided the daily chores, and both are ready to take the responsibility.

Moving in together sounds fancy, but managing a household can be challenging. If both of you are ready to take up these challenges, it is a sign that you are ready to live together.

8. You Have Practiced Cohabiting

You may have spent days together in the same house or have taken trips together and stayed comfortably together for weeks. These were like small practice sessions before you finally moved in together. If you think you are comfortable staying with your partner and they seem to have gone well, you can move in together.

9. You Have Discussed Cleanliness

When you move in together, both of you are equally responsible for maintaining the cleanliness around the house. It means you cannot leave the wet towel on the floor and walk away or watch the sink pile up with dirty dishes. You should never feel like you are doing all the chores after moving in. Discuss it openly with your partner. If both are ready to take up cleaning up after their messes, that will be great!

10. You Share Emotional Intimacy

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Emotional intimacy is one of the pillars of a healthy relationship. If you can be vulnerable in front of your partner without any fear of judgment or maturely resolve a conflict, you may be ready to move in together. Strong communication, trust, and shared values and goals promote a sense of unity and strengthen the emotional bond. They help you understand each other and navigate the challenges of living together. With a deep emotional connection, you do not need to spend the entire day with your partner or talk to them every time you are together. You can sit in comfortable silence while doing your tasks.

Now that you are ready to move in together, you need to make sure the transition is smooth, and both of you are on the same page. Here are some questions to ask before moving in together.

Questions to Ask Before Moving In Together

1. Whose Place Do We Move In?

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Will it be your house, your partner’s house, or a new place? This is a question you should address immediately. It depends on the convenience of location, space, affordability, and comfort levels.

2. What To Keep, Donate, And Toss

Both of you are not going to get all your belongings to the new house. If you are moving into your partner’s house, they might already have furniture and other necessities. Moreover, excess things may clutter the space. So, decide what you will keep, which things you will donate, and which ones should be sent to the recycle bin.

3. Will Both Of You Respect The Rules Of Social Media?

Moving in with your partner gives you easy access to their lives, including their social media. You may feel tempted to check on their social media activities and chat history. You may also feel tempted to check their laptop or eavesdrop when they are on the phone. This is an absolute no.

Moving in together does not mean that you can invade your partner’s private life. State these rules before you move in together.

4. Do You Both Like Pets?

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Either way, it is a good idea to know whether both of you prefer pets or not. Your partner may be a dog person, and you may be a cat person, or your partner may be allergic to pet hair – decide on having a pet depending on all these factors.

Also, getting a pet is not just about cuddles and boops. It comes with a lot of responsibility. Right from their vaccination and cleaning their poop to taking them out early in the morning and caring for their health – are you both ready to take the responsibility? Even though unpleasant, you must also discuss who would keep the pet should you break up. Do not consider getting a pet without having had all of these conversations!

5. What About The Worst-Case Scenario?

While you are always hopeful of things going fine, you must also consider the worst-case scenarios. What happens when you break up? Who is going to move out of the house? What about the pending EMIs of the house loan you took (you do not have to worry about this if you are living in a rented apartment or your partner’s place)? Who will take the pet? How are you going to split the things purchased together? What if one of you falls ill for a long period? You must discuss all the things beforehand.

If you find yourself ready to move in together with your partner, you must carefully ponder the shared space, time, and responsibilities before taking the leap. While you might be excited to be able to spend all your time with your partner under one roof finally, it is also important to be aware of their boundaries and expectations. Similarly, letting your partner know of your comfort level and maintaining boundaries is important in taking the live-in relationship further in a stable manner.

Frequently Asked Questions

How long should you wait before moving in together?

You should at least give yourself 1-2 years of initial dating time before you decide to move in together. While you can move in sooner, you’ll have more problems to work through when you do.

Should I move in with my boyfriend before we are engaged?

Yes. While you can prepare as much as possible, there will always be compatibility areas and conflicts that are created by moving in together. Having to work through these will give you valuable information on whether or not you should be engaged.

What percentage of couples break up after moving in together?

Recent data shows that about 40-50% of couples moving in together may end up having complications in their relationship that may lead them to break up. However, this completely depends on your mutual understanding and willingness to take the relationship seriously.

Key Takeaways

  • Moving in together is a big responsibility and commitment towards each other. It is a sign that you want to take the next steps towards sharing life together.
  • You and your partner should discuss your finances, be comfortable with one another and respect each other’s personal space among other things before you move in.
  • It is important to ask each other certain questions like whose place are you moving into and whether you both like pets before you decide to stay together.

Know the signs that indicate you are ready to move in together from the video below. From communication to shared goals, gain insights into relationship readiness for this significant step in your journey. Check out the video!
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