Dos And Don’ts In A New Relationship

You need to do certain things and avoid others to lay a solid foundation for your new bond.

Reviewed by Stephanie Mintz, MA (Clinical Psychology), LMFT Stephanie Mintz Stephanie MintzMA (Clinical Psychology), LMFT
Written by , Integrated MA, Certified Relationship Coach Sneha Tete Integrated MA, Certified Relationship Coach linkedin_icon Experience: 4 years
Edited by , MA (English) Asmita De MA (English) Experience: 3 years
Fact-checked by , Integrated MA (English) Gazala Firdos Ansari Integrated MA (English) Experience: 2 years
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The start of a new relationship is always filled with hope. The promise of things yet to come fills your head. Those lingering stares, slight brushes of fingers, secret touches, whispers of sweet nothings, and those never-ending butterflies flying in your stomach every time you see your partner – is there any high as good as the feeling of a new relationship?

However, to some, this experience can be stressful! Take Chandler from Friends, for example. When Monica talks to him about missing that exciting rush you feel when you meet your partner for the first time, he disagrees. He says that when he meets someone for the first time, it is just a great deal of panic, anxiety, and sweating. And some of us can relate because we don’t know how to navigate this new relationship. To help you out, we have come up with a list of things that can make or break your relationship. Remember them and make your new relationship work!

Dos In A New Relationship

1. Connect With Them

Connect with them if you are new in a relationship
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A relationship is not based on only looks and feelings, it is about who each person is, what they want and need in the relationship, and what they desire for their future. Connect with them, find out who they are, understand their fears, and support their beliefs. A relationship based on trust and respect is far better and long-lasting than one made for appearances.

2. Be Spontaneous

Allow yourself to experience new things. Routine gives you a sense of comfort, but to ensure that your relationship is moving forward, you need a dash of spontaneity. Be spontaneous! Plan a road trip, go for a hike, or ask them out for a morning date. Sometimes, to kickstart a relationship, you need to do something away from the normal and into the crazy. Being spontaneous adds to the romance in the relationship.

3. Communicate

Talk to them. Tell them how you feel. Tell them exactly how you mean it. Communication is the foundation of any relationship. Effective communication can build your relationship and lay the base for a future together.

protip_icon Quick Tip

Ensure to select the right time to discuss any issues with your partner. Giving them a heads-up about the topic (if it’s something serious) is a good idea.

4. Be Positive

Be positive if you are new in a relationship
Image: Shutterstock

Be positive! Stop doubting yourself or the other person, the plans you make, or something you have decided. Trust yourself and your partner to handle everything. Your negativity may just end up getting them down as well, while your positivity may help get their spirits up.

5. Love Yourself

Any professional or non-professional will tell you, “Love yourself before you let others love you.” Only when you love and are comfortable with yourself, can someone find it easy to love you and be comfortable with you.

6. Be Yourself

Do not act like someone you are not. You have learned that your partner likes sophisticated people. That does not mean you have to change yourself and act all sophisticated. If you are a fun-loving, free-spirited person, that is the ‘you’ that you should show. The relationship won’t work if your partner ends up loving the ‘you’ that you are pretending to be and not loving you for who you truly are.

Lisa Johnson, a blogger, shared how she navigated her relationship with her husband in the beginning after a series of unhealthy relationships. She pointed out that when she met her husband, she was not instantly attracted to him, which allowed her to be herself around him rather than trying to be a person she was not. This helped her strengthen her relationship with her husband. In her blog, she wrote, “I soon realized that he liked me just the way I was and encouraged me to continue showing him the real me rather than the person I thought he would want me to be (i).”

7. Keep An Eye Out

Watch out for alarming signals. If your partner cancels plans at the last minute, has no interest in half the plans you make, and does not honor your commitments, you are better off without them. There is no point in pursuing a relationship where only you are trying.

Lisa shared how she experienced red flags and warning signs at the start of the relationship before her husband. She construed the alarms as her insecurity from past relationships and tried hard to make the current one work. She wrote, “I was so desperate to make a relationship work that I would try to focus on the positives and reframe the concerns as my issues from previous relationships. I would convince myself it was me, not them.”

Don’ts In A New Relationship

1. Do Not Assume Or Overthink

Do not assume or overthink if you are new in a relationship
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Do not overthink or assume things. Think calmly. There are more chances of the problem having a simple solution rather than it being an earth-shattering problem – only if you can keep calm. Overthinking adds to the worries and stress you already have. Talk to your partner, and maybe you will realize that things are not as bad as you think they are.

2. Do Not Try To Get Even

Your partner may have done something wrong to you, but it does not mean you go full battle mode on them. Remember, they are human, and mistakes are an all-time possibility. You are human, too, and you are also bound to make mistakes. Treat them the way you want to be treated. If you start getting even with them and try to one-up them, it is not a relationship, it’s a competition.

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Do not be too rigid or try to change your partner or find faults. It may hamper your new relationship. Instead, learn to accept them as they are.

3. Do Not Get Intimate Until You Are 100% Confident

Appreciate each other, but do not do anything you are not ready for. If you are ready and they are not, wait. Talk to each other and get intimate only after both of you are comfortable.

They both held off being intimate with each other until they knew each other better and felt comfortable with each other. In her blog, she mentioned, “I was used to men expecting sex immediately. However, he was simply holding off for the right time and place when we both knew each other better and felt comfortable around each other.”

4. Do Not Be Possessive/Controlling

Do not be possessive or controlling if you are new in a relationship
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Being in love is beautiful. You want to be with them all the time; you want to spend hours talking or chatting with them and showing them off. But you also need to understand that they need their alone time. Sometimes, a person needs to be alone to figure themself out. During these times, if you act possessive and try to control them, your relationship is heading to the Lane of Doom.

5. Do Not Put Yourself Down

“The value is always in the eye of the beholder. What is worthless to one person may be very important to someone else.” ~ Peter Ackroyd. Do not undermine yourself. Remember, no matter how you look, you are beautiful.

6. Do Not Play Mind Games

Do not play mind games with the other person. Do not act like you are hard to get, undermine them, and try to make them jealous. Someone who plays mind games is usually insecure and unconfident. Do not try to manipulate them. Treat them how you would like to be treated, and learn to trust them. A relationship is plagued by manipulation and distrust.

7. Do Not Boast About Past Relationships

Woman irritated with her boyfriend as he boasts about his past relationship
Image: Shutterstock

Do not boast about all the relationships you have had or talk about how amazing your past relationship was. Idolizing your past relationship will not help your present relationship. Showing them that you liked someone more than you like them now is a recipe for heartbreak. Be kind and keep it simple when you both are having a conversation about past relationships. Do not get hung up on the past, or you may just miss your present.

Infographic: Most Important Dos And Don’ts In A New Relationship

It feels great when the person you like reciprocates your feelings. Starting a new relationship is fun and feels like an adventurous joyride. However, the enthusiasm for a new beginning comes with the risk of making mistakes. No matter how comfortable you are with each other, you must act sensibly to ensure you do not end up hurting your partner. The following infographic highlights the most important dos and don’ts in a new relationship to help you sail through. Check it out!

most important dos and don'ts in a new relationship (infographic)

Illustration: StyleCraze Design Team

The beginning of a relationship is an exciting time, and you find yourself filled with many strong feelings. It might even be difficult for you to think straight around your crush or focus on anything else. However, it would be best to keep your possessiveness for your new partner in check and not give too much too soon in the relationship. Instead, you may want to focus on portraying your most authentic self, communicating obsessively, and maintaining a positive frame of mind to build the relationship and deepen your bond. When you start dating, give each other time to figure out your compatibility and partnership while working on developing loyalty and intimacy.

Frequently Asked Questions

How often should you text in a new relationship?

While you may be thinking about your special someone all through the day, you should restrict your text messages, and time them tactfully to let them know he/she is on your mind. However, resist the urge to overdo it and save something for conversations face to face or over calls.

How do I chill in a new relationship?

You should take it easy and give it some time to let the connection bloom naturally. You should neither seem aloof nor seem too desperate for attention. Being honest to yourself would keep you stress-free ultimately.

How often should you talk in a new relationship?

You can speak everyday to ease into the relationship and get to know eachother better. Talking 2-3 times throughout the day can help you both stay connected and updated while you go about your day’s activities.

What happens in a new relationship?

The early stages of a new relationship are filled with excitement, curiosity, and thrill. Both partners communicate openly and discover shared interests. While challenges may arise, they serve as opportunities for mutual growth and understanding. As the intimacy deepens and the trust evolves, this lays the foundation for commitment and shared aspirations. Remember, a new relationship is a dynamic journey where both individuals explore compatibility, navigate highs and lows together, and foster a strong sense of support and togetherness. Building on shared dreams and hopes, the relationship becomes a source of joy and companionship over time.

Key Takeaways

  • Communication is the foundation of any relationship. So, be confident and discuss the issues with your partner.
  • Having a positive frame of mind and just being you can help take the relationship forward.
  • Bragging about your past relationships, overthinking, etc., are a big no-no.
new relationship

Image: Stable Diffusion/StyleCraze Design Team


Check out this video that covers the dos and don’ts when getting into a new relationship and also gives some relationship advice to build a strong relationship.

Personal Experience: Source

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Stephanie Mintz

Stephanie MintzMA (Clinical Psychology), LMFT

Known internationally as The Strategic Relationship Consultant™, Stephanie Mintz, MA, LMFT, provides individuals and couples with actionable strategies to reach their relationship goals. She has 8 years of experience and is highly sought-after for her ability to help individuals and couples at all stages of relationships, from dating, living together, pre-engagement, pre-marital, and just married to marriage strengthening/difficulties, brink of...read full bio

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