So, you’re finally in the relationship. It’s been a few dates and things are going well. But then you start to realize that you don’t really know each other beyond the obvious. This is the time when you settle down a little and begin to get to know one another on a deeper level. Here you may wonder, “Where do I begin?” It might be that you’re overwhelmed by the number of things you want to find out or you really can’t think of anything to bring up. Here is a list of suggestions and questions to ask your girlfriend which will help you open new windows in your relationship.
In the beginning, you want to keep it light and limited to things that can be answered easily. It’s alright to have a lot of questions to ask a girl you like especially since the answers are most likely to be short, but that doesn’t mean you turn the conversation into an interrogation. Keep things as mild as possible – the idea is to let your girlfriend feel comfortable and allow her the space to open up about herself.
A favorite topic is ‘favorites’ – ask about what they like. This could be anything from their best-loved food, book, movie, restaurant, holiday destination, color, comic-book hero, TV show, to even their favorite pair of socks. It’s easy to think about what we like, and it’s not really intruding on the other person’s personal space either. Test the waters with these questions to ask your girlfriend will slowly feel more secure, getting ready to tell you things about herself that other people don’t know.
Other examples include asking about hobbies, what they do to kill time, their favorite anecdotes, their interest in sports, their preferred hangouts, and so much more. You can ask about their embarrassing moments – a well-known question we used to ask each other at high school parties. Be careful not to press and definitely do not make her feel worse for having shared. If things get too intense, try shifting the conversation to something a little more casual, such as music. You can listen to her favorite tunes and tell her what you think.
It’s not just the questions to ask your girlfriend but your responses to her answers as well. You ought to use a question as a tool to develop a conversation, not just a point in a checklist of things you want to know. Just as you want to know about your girlfriend, your girlfriend would also want to know about you. It is important that you also answer the questions you’re asking – it’s only fair. William Shakespeare has one of his characters in Hamlet say, “Brevity is the soul of wit.” However, brevity will lead to a lot less conversation and develop unwillingness in your girlfriend to open up. So, open up a little!
Building On A Start
If you find that your girlfriend has been really receptive towards all your questions so far, then it might be a sign that you can get more personal with what you ask. Remember, you shouldn’t be trying too hard, and you should definitely not push too hard for an answer. Notice her body language when she responds, and don’t forget that any personal question you ask your girlfriend, you have to be prepared to answer too.
A particularly interesting question is to ask her what her perfect date is. Pay close attention to the details in her answer – she is actually telling you about the date that she wants you to take her on. Keeping her answer in mind so that you can plan out her dream date at a later time can be one of the most romantic things you can do in your relationship. In fact, remembering small bits of conversation and acting on it later, regardless of how small or insignificant they may seem, is really romantic in any scenario.
This could also be a good time to touch on the physical aspect of things. If you think she’s alright answering, ask her what her favorite thing about herself (physically) is. Be sensitive to what she says and don’t say anything off-putting. Offer her your opinion about what you think her best physical attribute is. Be gentle – you want to come across as someone who has noticed little things about her, not a shallow creep who’s been obsessing over her photographs on social media. Touch on favorite clothes and shoes as well.
You can also ask her about your physical attributes, sharing what you think and asking her about her thoughts. You don’t want to delve into anything related to the physical outside of this just yet. That’ll come later, with a greater level of intimacy. Stick more to the emotional side of things. Ask her about her hopes and dreams. Talk of the past, interesting things she’s done, what she regrets, what she’d go back and change, a defining moment in her formative years, and so on.
This is the next level of conversation, which probably comes after a certain time together. She’s close to you at this point and has a certain level of seriousness about the relationship. This allows you to ask her about the seriously intimate things that tend to pop up in your head. Ask her what turns her on, what makes her feel desirable, her favorite place to be kissed, what she likes in bed, her favorite bedroom fantasy, etc. Since you’ve waited till the right time to ask her these questions, this seems more like you’re asking because you want to give her what she likes, instead of just details that you need to fantasize.
An important thing to remember is to never ask a question you don’t want the answer to. Asking her how many relationships she’s been in before you might seem like a good topic of conversation until she gives you an unexpected answer. In a long-lasting relationship, such truths eventually do get exchanged, but you don’t want to put a lid on the relationship by a bombshell of a revelation. Take things as they come, and be careful not to rush anything. You really have to listen to her responses to gauge how comfortable she is with you before you ask something that she isn’t ready for.
Good luck falling in love!
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