How Lack Of Mutual Respect Destroys A Relationship

Written by Harini Natarajan , Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner

While there is no hard and fast rule about most feelings, lack of respect makes it to the top when it comes to inexcusable things in a relationship. Many would assume that love, trust, or care for each other makes a relationship work and the people involved in the relationship committed to each other. But respect acts like the base, a foundation for them to develop and play a part in the relationship.

The word ‘respect’ may seem too bookish and formal for something like a relationship. Yet, many fail to understand that when respect is lost in a relationship, it is as good as accepting its eventual downfall. So, if you or someone you know feels disrespected in their relationship, it is better to remedy the situation at the earliest. Otherwise, you may end up in a toxic and dissatisfying situation. This article lists 10 signs that show your relationship lacks respect to help you identify the problem and how you can give respect in a relationship. Read on.

How Respect Works In Relationships

How Respect Works In Relationships

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The dictionary meaning of respect is ‘having a regard and admiration for someone.’ People can have respect for themselves and those around them for a multitude of reasons. It is the basic level of regard we show to another person in terms of acknowledging them. It may be based on their age, status, knowledge, temperament, and so on.

Now, you may be wondering how the idea of respect works in a relationship between two people. In a relationship, respect is what sets down the ground rules that guide the relationship to flourish. Mutual respect is something both partners consciously and unconditionally provide each other. By respecting your partner, you don’t show them love, care, trust, support, and the willingness to understand who they are as a separate individual.

Regardless of your ideals for their betterment, taking a step back and letting your partner be themselves, and embracing them as they are is also a show of respect. Adhering to their boundaries and what they have agreed upon when it comes to the relationship is respect. Being there for them in the manner they need is respect.

Respect takes many forms in a relationship, and all of them are important for your relationship’s sustenance. How? Head to the next section to find out.

Why Is Respect Important In A Relationship?

Why Is Respect Important In A Relationship?

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As mentioned above, respect is the foundation on which relationships flourish. Mutual respect is what allows both partners to grow and understand each other as independent individuals. It helps maintain boundaries and rules that every relationship must-have. When you respect the person you are in a relationship with, you care about them in the manner they require, while they can care for you the way you need.

When you don’t respect the other person, their individuality, choices, dislikes, dreams, and passion, and start to mold them into your idea of who and what they should be, respect is lost in the relationship. Instead, it becomes a game that two individuals play with themselves as well as each other — a game where one is the puppeteer and the other the marionette.

As important as respect is, people often find it missing in their relationship. Instead, they feel repeatedly disrespected and offended by their partner. Is it something common, or should you be wary of being treated this way? The answer is in the next section.

Is It Normal To Feel Disrespected In A Relationship?

Is It Normal To Feel Disrespected In A Relationship?

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Everyone is entitled to respect, but it is not uncommon to find people who feel more disrespected than respected in a relationship. While it is not the norm, there are a couple of relationships where it can be seen. Unfortunately, these are the relationships that have lost the foundation of respect and instead function on disrespect. It may be something you haven’t noticed or have gotten accustomed to, but there is no denying that disrespect may exist in some relationships.

But once lost, can you gain respect back in a relationship? The answer is yes, you can. It may take some time if the relationship has been on the path of disrespect for a while. But slowly and surely, it is possible to gain respect in most relationships. Start with baby steps. Talk to each other, understand each other’s standpoint and view of life. Try to find out what motivates and drives your partner. Be open and honest with each other and make it clear if you feel disrespected. Hopefully, you will start to bring about and notice the change soon.

If you feel like you are in a relationship where respect has been lost or are not sure if you are being disrespected in a relationship, the next section is for you. Scroll down to know 10 actions and habits that point towards a lack of respect in your relationship.

10 Signs Of Lack Of Respect In A Relationship

10 Signs Of Lack Of Respect In A Relationship

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Respect in a relationship plays a big role in the harmony of the relationship. On the other hand, not showing and having adequate respect towards each other in the relationship may lead to mental and emotional exhaustion.

Here are 10 signs to help you find if your relationship is lacking respect:

  1. It seems like you are not being valued; there is a lack of commitment towards appointments, dates, or other important matters.
  2. They do not mind talking about your insecurities with others, nor do they mind flirting with someone else while in front of you.
  3. You have started to feel insecure about your self-worth and question if there is anything that you are good at doing.
  4. There is a sense of materialism in the relationship where one talks about the other as if they own them. It is a sure-shot sign that respect has long since left the room.
  5. There is no regard for boundaries — “you don’t like it; deal with it yourself,” “you want to do this, we will do it my way.”
  6. The relationship is making you feel exhausted, tired, and bored. There is no excitement in the relationship, and the thought of spending time with them is putting you down.
  7. You have started to feel like you are being attacked in the relationship and made to feel bad about yourself.
  8. When you are in a situation where you are being pushed around, they don’t mind being the spectator or even joining the others in bullying you.
  9. Every idea you have about yourself is being thrown out the window, and instead, it seems like they have started dictating your life.
  10. They don’t mind ignoring you; they will leave you on ‘read’ for days or just act like you don’t exist even when you are right there beside them.

The above signs are not all-encompassing, and if you feel that you are being disrespected, listen to your gut. It should help to take the reins of the relationship and guide it towards mutual respect rather than abandoning it at the get-go. Keep scrolling to know how you can learn and teach how to respect in a relationship.

How To Show Respect In A Relationship

How To Show Respect In A Relationship

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There is no singular way when it comes to showing respect to your partner in a relationship. There’s no direct answer to this question, but one thing that remains true is that respect is a two-way road, and both the partners have to meet in the middle.

  1. Start by being mindful. Mindfulness is being aware of yourself and those around you. Your partner’s wishes, needs, likes, and dislikes — pay attention to who they are as a person.
  2. While practicing mindfulness in your relationship, offer support to your partner. Support who they are, who they want to be, and where they wish to see themselves.
  3. Portray trust in them and yourself. Only when you show you trust them can they trust you back and support you to the full extent.
  4. Talk. Converse about everything and anything, let your opinions be known, listen to their opinions, and find common ground.
    While these are not the only ways to show respect, they are the basic few that might help you get started towards showing mutual respect.

On A Parting Note

Do keep in mind that everyone around you is an individual in their own right. They have things they like and dislike, things they are good at, and things they may not do that well. Thinking of another person as inferior to you in any relationship is a recipe for downfall. It is important to learn and understand that a little respect may go a long way in helping one grow and develop as an individual. And respect in a relationship is bound to direct the relationship in the right direction and make sure it lasts long.

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