The Role Of A Husband And How To Be A Good One

Because they are more than just a support system for maintaining a family and relationships

Reviewed by Rodolfo Parlati, Professional Life Coach Rodolfo Parlati Rodolfo ParlatiProfessional Life Coach facebook_iconlinkedin_iconyoutube_iconinsta_icon
Written by , Integrated MA, Certified Relationship Coach Sneha Tete Integrated MA, Certified Relationship Coach Experience: 4 years
Edited by , MA (English) Subhrojyoti Mukherjee MA (English) linkedin_icon Experience: 4 years
Fact-checked by , MA Gracia Odile MA linkedin_icon Experience: 3 years

A healthy marriage requires work and effort. The role of a husband is as important as that of a wife. There are set duties and responsibilities for the husband and wife. It helps make things easier. In earlier times, the man was the breadwinner, and the woman was the caregiver. However, today, a man and woman can take each other’s roles and maintain a peaceful marriage. If you are married or are about to get hitched, it is best to know what a modern husband is and what his roles are in a marriage. It will help you set your expectations and prevent unwanted arguments. Read on to learn more about the role of a husband in a successful marriage.

What Is the Husband’s Role In A Marriage?

Did you know that the origin of the word ’husband’ comes from ’house band,’ which means a person who holds the house together? The role of the husband in a marriage was to be the protector or guardian of the house. Contrary to this, a husband today is a 50% partner in a marriage. Earlier, the entire household depended on the man to bring in money and food and protect the wife and children. He was portrayed as the ’savior,’ and everyone wanted a strong husband.

However, in the world we are living in today, the role of a husband, while largely remaining the same, has seen some modifications as women have taken ownership of their share of 50% in the marriage. Most religious books, like the Bible, the Vedas, and the Quran, mention that a man must respect and love his wife. In spite of this status given to women, marriage was largely dominated by the husband in the earlier days. Despite the progress of modern society, there are still situations in which women are considered inferior by men. So, wives have no decisional power and the freedom to choose to work or set a direction for their personal lives. In many cases, these wives unconsciously accept this limited role because this is the “status quo”. This still happens in many cultures and countries worldwide, where men demand a family from their wives and look down on their wives as child-bearers and rearers.

Role of a husband
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The primary role of a husband in a marriage is to love his wife unconditionally and unselfishly. The husband is often looked at as the rock-solid support in a family and someone a wife can lean on in her difficult times. No matter the era or age, the husband in the marriage is always the stronger, masculine, and less emotional individual of the two. Nowadays, the roles in a marriage tend to “mix” somehow. It’s not surprising to see a man doing tasks that traditions and common habits tend to assign to a woman and vice-versa. There is nothing wrong with this. What counts is the balance the partners create within the marriage based on mutual love and respect.

When a husband loves his wife truly and wholly, respect and honor follow almost immediately. Earlier, women were thought of as the weaker sex, and husbands took it upon themselves to ensure their wives’ safety and protection. Today, a husband walks hand in hand with his equally strong wife. This is the key to a successful marriage in today’s times.

Husband's role is to walk hand in hand with his wife
Image: IStock

Roles And Responsibilities Of A Husband

The role of a husband goes beyond providing for his family or running it with the money he earns. The main duty or responsibility of a husband is to be a good one and have a genuine involvement in the family. Here are some roles and responsibilities of a husband in marriage:

1. Protect Your Wife

Has your wife ever told you how safe she feels in your arms? Well, that is what a husband should make his wife feel – safe! Protecting your wife from all sorts of dangers in life is a husband’s prime responsibility. Be it physical, mental, emotional, or psychological – a husband must protect his wife from anything that can harm her. Your wife must feel safe and secure in your presence.

Husband holding his wife to keep her safe and secure
Image: IStock

2. Lead

The husband has always been the leader of the family. Though duties are now being shared with wives in this day and age, taking charge of your responsibilities and leading certain duties at home is the role of a husband. But remember – when you lead, do not be too bossy.

3. Love Your Wife Unconditionally

The foundation of any marriage is love and trust. These two qualities go together. Loving your wife is one of the primary responsibilities of a husband. You must satisfy her emotionally by assuring her that you love, respect, and value her. Not just verbally, but this must also appear in your everyday actions.

4. Be Patient With Her

Your wife is an individual. She will not have the same behavior or thoughts as you. There may be times when she nags or times when you do not like something about her. Be patient. Remember to appreciate her individuality and not criticize or dislike her for the small things that she does. Many times, your wife has your goodwill at heart when she says or does something. Try to be gentle when you want to let her know that you dislike something about her. Also, avoid openly criticizing her or doing so in front of others.

5. Fulfill Her Needs And Wishes

No matter which religion or culture you follow, one of the wedding vows that every man and wife takes is that it is their duty to fulfill each other’s needs and wishes. The role of a good husband is to fulfill your wife’s needs, wants, wishes, and dreams. Yes, modern-day wives are able to fulfill their own needs, but making sure she has all that she needs is your duty as her husband.

6. Treat Her Well

Playing or goofing around is part of every husband-wife relationship. But remember always to be a gentleman with your wife. The way you talk to and treat your wife speaks volumes about how much you value her and your marriage. If you have children, the way you treat your wife teaches them how to treat their partners in the future.

7. Spend Time With Your Wife

Apart from taking care of the needs of the house, a good husband spends quality time with his wife. No matter how busy your life is or how much time you invest in your kids, a good husband must always make time for his wife. Take her out, go shopping with her, watch a movie together, or just spend an hour or so speaking with her at the end of the day. This helps strengthen the holy bond of matrimony that you and your wife have.

8. Be There For Her

Remember the vow “in sickness and in health?” The vow was meant to bind both the husband and the wife in the promise of being available for each other always. As a husband, you must always be available for your wife. It is common for many husbands to take their wives for granted after a few years of marriage. Avoid this complacency from setting in and be available for your wife no matter what.

9. Respect Your Wife

Your wife’s dignity is your responsibility too. As a husband, you must respect your wife in private as well as in public. You must avoid talking about your wife’s private matters with friends and other family members. Your relationship with your wife is an extremely private subject, and not sharing or disclosing these matters is a way to uphold her dignity and respect her.

10. Maintain A Balance In Your Marriage

Once you have kids, giving time to your marriage may sound tedious. When couples become parents, it is natural for their focus to shift from their relationship to their kids. You must maintain a balance between being a husband and a father.

11. Her Opinions Matter

Marriage is a joint venture between you and your wife. You are both equals. As a good husband, you must take her opinion on matters that concern your marriage and kids. She has an equal say in these matters, and you must give her thoughts and opinion consideration. This also lets your wife know how much you value her.

Husband helping wife with household chores
Image: Shutterstock

12. Help Her With Household Chores

In the olden days, women were the homemakers and responsible for the household chores. However, an important responsibility of a good husband is to help his wife with household chores – especially when she is busy, late from work, tired, or sick. How you divide your chores in a partnership is up to you, but if your wife is always busy with household chores, it may be a good idea to give her a break sometimes.

Take some load off her, more so during pregnancy when she is unable to do the strenuous household chores. Once your child is born, share a load of parenting because the child is equally your responsibility!

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You can help your wife out by rewarding her for helping with everything by giving her a break from doing household chores for a month.

13. Make Her Feel Special

Daily life and routine can rob a marriage of romance. It is the duty of a husband to make his wife feel special from time to time. Buy her a gift, surprise her with something she has wanted for a long time, cook her a meal – the list is endless.

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You can also make her feel special with small gestures like making her coffee the way she likes it or bringing her favorite snack on your way home from work.
Husband surprising wife and making her feel special
Image: Shutterstock

Listed below are some simple things you can do to be a good husband.

Tips To Be A Good Husband

Now that you know what the role of a husband in a healthy marriage is, here are some tips on how you can be a good husband:

  • Be your wife’s best friend.
  • Look after your wife physically and emotionally.
  • Be protective of her.
  • Respect your wife’s beliefs even if you disagree with them.
  • Be sensitive to her needs, thoughts, and feelings.
  • Match your words with actions.
  • Accept her faults.
  • Support her in all her endeavors.
  • Take an interest in her job.
  • Solve problems with effective communication. Always talk things through with your wife, as no problem is insurmountable.
  • Be passionate and trustworthy.

Louisa, a blogger, shared her experience of working with her husband and one of the first rules they made at home. She explained, “Talking about work in the house can be draining and lead to arguments; it often crops up at times when we are tired or trying to address family needs. Oh, and the kids hate it! Yes, we set rules, but as we are both from the ‘rules are made to be broken’ ilk this doesn’t catch all (i).”

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You can also be a good husband by celebrating her achievements and taking care of yourself.

Infographic: 7 Ways A Good Husband Can Show His Wife Love

The role of a good husband is to be respectful to his wife, communicate openly with her, fulfill your commitments, and be there for her. Apart from this, a good husband should be loyal, passionate, and make an effort to make the marriage work. However, actions speak louder than words. We have compiled a list of ways a good husband can show his wife that he loves her. Check out the infographic below to know more!

7 ways a good husband can show his wife love (infographic)

Illustration: StyleCraze Design Team

While the expectations from a wife are many and widely spoken about, a husband’s role in maintaining the relationship and nourishing a healthy family is also pivotal. As a loving husband and a doting father, you are the anchor of your family. A lot of work, effort, dedication, loyalty and love goes into nurturing a family. However, you must not overburden yourself with the idea of being the perfect husband or the ideal father. Being open about your concerns, expectations, and boundaries would help you and your partner raise a happy, healthy family with shared responsibilities and immense love.

Frequently Asked Questions

Should a husband give money to his wife, especially when she is a housewife?

Irrespective of whether a partner is a housewife or house-husband, finances should be discussed and shared equitably such that none of the partners feel the lack of it. This is important to prevent ego hassles, self-esteem issues, disrespect, or any kind of dominance or superiority complex.

What qualities should a husband have?

A husband should be loving, respectful, compassionate, and loyal to his partner and vice-versa to make a marriage successful.

What are some common misconceptions about the role of a husband?

Some common misconceptions about the role of a husband include the idea that they are the sole provider in the family, leave childcare to their partners, or that they should always be the one to make decisions in the relationship.

How has the role of a husband evolved over time?

The biggest change is that the husband isn’t expected to fit societal standards. He doesn’t have to work and can be a stay-at-home husband. The role of a husband has become more accepting of gender equality.

How can husbands balance their responsibilities as a spouse with other roles and responsibilities in their life?

Husbands can balance their responsibilities by communicating openly with their spouse, setting priorities, and delegating tasks when necessary.

What are some strategies for husbands to manage stress and prioritize self-care in their role?

Strategies for managing stress and prioritizing self-care include finding time for hobbies and exercise, seeking support from friends and family, attending therapy sessions, and taking breaks when needed.

How can husbands work to address conflicts and disagreements in a productive and respectful manner?

Husbands can address conflicts and disagreements by listening actively to their spouse’s perspective, acknowledging their feelings, and working together to find a solution that works for both partners.

Key Takeaways

  • The husband is usually seen as the guardian or protector of the house.
  • A successful marriage is one where love, respect, and trust go hand-in-hand.
  • Whether in sickness or in health, it is important to stand by your partner unconditionally and wholeheartedly.

Discover the profound essence of a husband’s role in marriage, as you navigate the intricate tapestry of love, support, companionship, and shared dreams that bind two souls on this beautiful journey called life. Watch this video now!

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Rodolfo Parlati

Rodolfo ParlatiProfessional Life Coach

After having graduated in Business Administration, Rodolfo decided to follow his passion for supporting others by becoming a professional coach. Today, his mission is to help people be happy and successful by discovering their potential and finding together the right way to fully exploit it.

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