The Role Of A Husband And How To Be A Good One

Written by Harini Natarajan , Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner

Marriage is a union between two people in a sacred vow that they take amidst their loved ones. In any healthy marriage, a husband and wife have their own set of responsibilities and duties. In the olden days, the husband was the sole breadwinner and would head out to work while his wife would look after their home, cook, and take care of the children. However, today, there has been a change in the roles and responsibilities that modern husband and wife have in their marriage. In this journey called marriage, what exactly is the role of a husband? Keep reading to find out!

What Is the Husband’s Role In A Marriage?

Did you know that the origin of the word ‘husband’ comes from ‘house band,’ which means a person who holds the house together? The role of the husband in a marriage was to be the protector or guardian of the house. Contrary to this, a husband today is a 50% partner in a marriage. Earlier, the entire household depended on the man to bring in money and food and protect the wife and children. He was portrayed to be the ‘savior’ and everyone wanted a strong husband.

However, in the world we are living in today, the role of a husband, while largely remaining the same, has seen some modifications as women have taken ownership of their share of 50% in the marriage. Most religious books, like the Bible, the Vedas, and the Quran, mention that a man must respect and love his wife. In spite of this status given to women, marriage was largely dominated by the husband in the earlier days. This still happens in many cultures and countries across the world where men demand a family from their wives and look down on their wives as child-bearers and rearers.

The primary role of a husband in a marriage is to love his wife unconditionally and unselfishly. The husband is often looked at as the rock-solid support in a family and someone a wife can lean on in her difficult times. No matter the era or age, the husband in the marriage is always the stronger, masculine, and less emotional individual of the two.

When a husband loves his wife truly and wholly, respect and honor follow almost immediately. Earlier, women were thought of as the weaker sex, and husbands took it upon themselves to ensure their wives’ safety and protection. Today, a husband walks hand in hand with his equally strong wife. This is the key to a successful marriage in today’s times.

Roles And Responsibilities Of A Husband

The role of a husband goes beyond providing for his family or running it with the money he earns. The main duty or responsibility of a husband is to be a good one and have a genuine involvement in the family. Here are some roles and responsibilities of a husband in marriage:

1. Protect Your Wife

Has your wife ever told you how safe she feels in your arms? Well, that is exactly what a husband should make his wife feel – safe! Protecting your wife from all sorts of dangers in life is a husband’s prime responsibility. Be it physical, mental, emotional, or psychological – a husband must protect his wife from anything that can harm her. Your wife must feel safe and secure in your presence.

2. Lead

The husband has always been the leader of the family. Though duties are now being shared with wives in this day and age, taking charge of your responsibilities and leading certain duties at home is the role of a husband. But remember – when you lead, do not be too bossy.

3. Love Your Wife Unconditionally

The foundation of any marriage is love and trust. These two qualities go together. Loving your wife unconditionally is one of the primary responsibilities of a husband. You must satisfy her emotionally by assuring her that you love, respect, and value her. Not just verbally, but this must also appear in your everyday actions.

4. Be Patient With Her

Your wife is an individual. She will not have the same behavior or thoughts as you. There may be times when she nags or times when you do not like something about her. Be patient. Remember to appreciate her individuality and not criticize or dislike her for the small things that she does. Many a time, your wife has your goodwill at heart when she says or does something. Try to be gentle when you want to let her know that you dislike something about her. Also, avoid openly criticizing her or doing so in front of others.

5. Fulfill Her Needs And Wishes

No matter which religion or culture you follow, one of the wedding vows that every man and wife takes is that it is their duty to fulfill each other’s needs and wishes. The role of a good husband is to fulfill your wife’s needs, wants, wishes, and dreams. Yes, modern-day wives are able to fulfill their own needs, but making sure she has all that she needs is your duty as her husband.

6. Treat Her Well

Playing or goofing around is part of every husband-wife relationship. But, remember to always be a gentleman with your wife. The way you talk to and treat your wife speaks volumes about how much you value her and your marriage. If you have children, the way you treat your wife teaches them how to treat their partners in the future.

7. Spend Time With Your Wife

Apart from taking care of the needs of the house, a good husband spends quality time with his wife. No matter how busy your life is or how much time you invest in your kids, a good husband must always make time for his wife. Take her out, go shopping with her, watch a movie together, or just spend an hour or so speaking with her at the end of the day. This helps strengthen the holy bond of matrimony that you and your wife have.

8. Be There For Her

Remember the vow “in sickness and in health?” The vow was meant to bind both the husband and the wife in the promise of being available for each other always. As a husband, you must always be available for your wife. It is common for many husbands to take their wives for granted after a few years of marriage. Avoid this complacency from setting in and be available for your wife no matter what.

9. Respect Your Wife

Your wife’s dignity is your responsibility too. As a husband, you must respect your wife in private as well as in public. You must avoid talking about your wife’s private matters with friends and other family members. Your relationship with your wife is an extremely private subject, and not sharing or disclosing these matters is a way to uphold her dignity and respect her.

10. Maintain A Balance In Your Marriage

Once you have kids, giving time to your marriage may sound tedious. When couples become parents, it is natural for their focus to shift from their relationship to their kids. You must maintain a balance between being a husband and a father.

11. Her Opinions Matter

Marriage is a joint venture between you and your wife. You are both equals. As a good husband, you must take her opinion on matters that concern your marriage and kids. She has an equal say in these matters, and you must give her thoughts and opinion consideration. This also lets your wife know how much you value her.

12. Help Her With Household Chores

In the olden days, women were the homemakers and responsible for the household chores. However, an important responsibility of a good husband is to help his wife with household chores – especially when she is busy, late from work, tired, or sick. How a couple divides their chores is up to them, but if your wife is busy with household chores, it may always be a good idea to give her a break once in a while.

Take some load off her, more so during pregnancy when she is unable to do the strenuous household chores. Once your child is born, share a load of parenting because the child is equally your responsibility!

13. Make Her Feel Special

Daily life and routine can rob a marriage of romance. It is the duty of a husband to make his wife feel special from time to time. Buy her a gift, surprise her with something she has wanted for a long time, cook her a meal – the list is endless.

Listed below are some simple things you can do to be a good husband.

Tips To Be A Good Husband

Now that you know what the role of a husband in a healthy marriage is, here are some tips on how you can be a good husband:

  • Be your wife’s best friend.
  • Look after your wife physically and emotionally.
  • Be protective of her.
  • Respect your wife’s beliefs even if you disagree with them.
  • Be sensitive to her needs, thoughts, and feelings.
  • Accept her faults.
  • Support her in all her endeavors.
  • Take an interest in her job.
  • Solve problems with effective communication. Always talk things through with your wife as no problem is insurmountable.
  • Be passionate and trustworthy.


Being a husband and a father to your children requires a lot of work, effort, dedication, and love. There will be times when you are tired of playing these different roles, but always remember that love is the foundation of your marriage and your family. You may think your family does not see your efforts and sacrifices, but when you turn back and look at what a wonderful marriage and family you have, your doubts will vanish!

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