8 Secrets To A Successful Marriage – Keep Your Partner Happy

Bridge the gap in expectations and find your way back to each other to hold onto forever.

Reviewed by Ronald Hoang, Relationship & Family Counselor Ronald Hoang Ronald HoangRelationship & Family Counselor linkedin_iconyoutube_icon
Written by , Integrated MA, Certified Relationship Coach Sneha Tete Integrated MA, Certified Relationship Coach linkedin_icon Experience: 4 years
Edited by , MA (English) Asmita De MA (English) Experience: 3 years
Fact-checked by , MA Gracia Odile MA Experience: 3 years

In the initial days of marriage, love is enough to keep the partners cheerful and happy. But as time progresses, it may not remain the only factor of happiness. This is where you need to look at the secrets to a successful marriage. These little changes and subtle ways will help you find a way back to your partner and build a healthy relationship. Want to know what are they? Continue reading to know about them.

8 Secrets For A Happy And Successful Marriage

1. Commitment

The main secret to a happy and successful marriage is commitment. When you marry someone, you promise to stay committed to that person for the rest of your life. Committing to marriage is more than what is portrayed in the movies. It is a promise that you will stick together through thick and thin, through ups and downs, and through any kind of hardship, that life throws your way.

Ronald Hoang, a Sydney-based Relationship & Family Counselor, says, “Commitment means being able to cherish your partner, instead of trashing them. Cherishing your partner means maximizing their positive qualities whilst minimizing their negative qualities. Trashing means to do the opposite.”

While feelings can change with time, a decision to stay committed to each other is what binds two people together and what makes a marriage healthy and successful.

2. Faithfulness

Apart from commitment, faithfulness is another major factor that makes a marriage. Be it emotional or sexual, remaining faithful to your spouse should be your top priority. There could be several situations in your life where your faithfulness would be tested. But those moments where you choose to be faithful would determine the quality and longevity of your relationship.

Ronald adds, “At the very core of unfaithfulness is secrecy. Communication is key in relationships and establishing faithfulness. By outwardly communicating your boundaries in your relationship you establish your definition of faithfulness and can avoid problems of betrayal.”

It takes self-discipline to avoid being unfaithful to your spouse. At times, it may feel easier to give in to the desire to have emotional or physical intimacy with another person. However, you have to fight through this desire and do the right thing.

3. Forgiveness

You must learn forgiveness if you want a long-lasting marriage. It is important to remember that nobody is perfect and people make mistakes. When your spouse makes a mistake, you should have the love and willingness to forgive them. Instead of holding a grudge against your spouse or seeking revenge, you should learn to understand things from their perspective. Ronald says, “Forgiveness doesn’t mean what happened was okay. Forgiveness means you accept what happened and you want to move forward in life. It means putting the relationship first, above yourself.” Forgiving them will help your heart feel lighter and give you both a chance to work towards a happy marriage.

4. Patience

A successful marriage is often where both partners are patient and understanding towards each other. Being patient in a marriage can also mean stopping yourself from hurting your partner when you are arguing or do not agree with each other. Being patient with your kids and your in-laws can also affect your marriage in a positive way.

5. Compromise

Compromising on little, trivial things is very important for having a successful marriage. Many marriages break due to either of the partner’s refusal to compromise for the other. In a marriage, you will come across many situations that could demand you to compromise on the little things for the happiness of your spouse. Remember, such compromises matter. The little things are the big things. Meaningfully compromising certain things for your spouse can turn out to be one of the best investments you can make in your relationship.

At times, you may find yourself at crossroads, unsure of what to choose and what to let go. Thinking with your heart while keeping your spouse in your mind can help you make the right decision.

Ronald adds, “Compromise is never perfect. There is always someone who needs to sacrifice for the relationship. But what the sacrificing partner is saying is: “I’m willing to put the relationship’s needs before my own”.”

6. Communication

Communication is important for a healthy and successful marriage. From deciding which couch to buy to making major life decisions about kids or careers, everything requires clear communication. In addition to that, being open with your spouse regarding your mental health, career, and dreams can further strengthen the trust you have in each other. Learn to be open with your spouse – it will pay large dividends.

protip_icon Pro Tip
During an argument or disagreement with your spouse, remember to be respectful and kind. Instead of saying hurtful things when you are too angry or frustrated, walk away, calm down, and resume the conversation later.

7. Time

All relationships demand time. If you want to have a successful and happy marriage, you must invest time into it. You have to give time to your spouse – be it a date night or just grocery shopping. Spending time with your spouse will keep your marriage happy and healthy.

8. Gratitude

Expressing gratitude should never take a backseat in a relationship. Appreciating your spouse is one of the main pillars that holds together a successful marriage. Knowing that your partner values you for what you are, says thank you for everything you do for them, and recognizes your worth directly influences the quality of a marriage and keeps it thriving. Gratitude in a relationship keeps the marriage happy, especially if one of you is going through a particularly tough time. It lends them a glimmer of hope and lets them know they are not alone. It helps you forge a stronger bond with your spouse while giving you a sense of relief and calmness. A simple thank may seem like a small thing, but it will make your partner feel seen. Apart from appreciating them vocally, you can leave them little thank you notes all over the house to randomly find.

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Alongside spending time with your spouse, plan some alone time to reconnect with yourself as well. Find some time for your hobbies and spend time with your friends.

A marriage is made of many little things that you do to make your partner and yourself happy. Your commitment and faithfulness towards your partner are the most important ingredients for a happy and successful married life. Furthermore, you should be ready to forgive them in case of small mistakes and be patient and understanding. Finally, your partner should feel that they are a priority as you communicate openly with them and spend quality time together. If you can follow these simple steps, you can enjoy a happy life with each other.

Frequently Asked Questions

What are the main causes of a failed marriage?

Factors such as infidelity, abuse, financial issues, lack of commitment, and communication are some of the main causes of a failed marriage.

What are the four pillars of marriage?

While the four pillars vary from person to person, most experts agree that love, respect, communication, and faith are the four pillars of a healthy marriage.

What are the three C’s in a healthy relationship?

A healthy relationship is built on communication, commitment, and compromise. Open and honest communication about each other’s needs and issues is important for a relationship to grow. While both partners will not agree on everything, compromising and finding common ground helps build faith and trust. Lastly, staying committed through the bad and good times and growing together makes for a strong and healthy relationship.

Key Takeaways

  • When the honeymoon phase of marriage ends, serious efforts from both partners are required to make a marriage blissful.
  • It is important to be patient and respect each other to have a successful marriage.
  • Bad times are inevitable, but you need to learn how to deal with them in a calm and respectful manner to make your marriage work.

This video discusses the key elements of a thriving marriage. Watch as an expert psychologist discusses the impact of fostering kindness and gratitude to encourage mutual growth and learn how to keep the love lasting.

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Ronald Hoang

Ronald HoangRelationship & Family Counselor

Ronald Hoang is a clinical counselor/psychotherapist based in Sydney, Australia, with close to a decade of experience. He graduated with a bachelor's degree in psychology from Macquarie University and a postgraduate degree in counseling from the Australian College of Applied Professions. He has received training in Emotionally Focused Therapy, Post-Milan Systemic Family Therapy, Gottman Method, Play Therapy Dimensions, and Child...read full bio

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